Category: Lifestyle

For the past 50 years, we’ve been putting love under the microscope. As psychologists, we’ve studied more than 40,000 partners about to begin couples therapy. We’ve also been happily married to each other for 35 years, so we know a thing or two about successful relationships.

While every partnership is unique, with its own set of challenges, there’s one thing that all couples have in common: We want to be appreciated. To be acknowledged for our efforts. We want to be seen.

The No. 1 phrase in successful relationships: ‘Thank you’

A thriving relationship requires an enthusiastic culture of appreciation, where we’re as good at noticing the things our partners are doing right as we are at noticing what they’re doing wrong.

But it’s easy to fall into the trap of only seeing what your partner is not doing. You develop a narrative where you’re the one putting in all the effort, and you start to believe it’s true.

Getting rid of this toxic mindset requires building a new one: scanning for the positives and saying “thank you.”

How to get into the appreciation mindset

You probably say “thank you” all day long, almost without thinking, to your colleagues, to the bagger at the supermarket, or to the stranger who holds the door for you.

But in our most intimate relationships, we can forget how important saying “thank you” really is.

For many of the couples we’ve worked with, we found that when one person started the cycle of appreciation, it became easy for the other to join in and strengthen it.

Here’s your assignment for today:

Step 1: Be an anthropologist.

Keep a close eye on your partner, whenever you can. Follow them around. Write down what they do, especially the positive stuff! Don’t write down the negatives, such as ignoring a pile of papers you asked them to pick up.

Note that they washed the breakfast dishes, fielded phone calls, picked up the toys strewn all over the living room, and made you coffee when they went to make one for themselves.

You don’t have to hide the fact that you’re spying. You can tell your partner you’re observing them to get a better sense of their day, and everything they do.

Their behavior isn’t going to change much just by knowing you’re watching.

Step 2: Say “thank you.”

Thank them for something routine that they’re doing right, even if it’s small, even if they do it every day — in fact, especially if it’s small and they do it every day!

But don’t just say “Hey, thanks.” Tell them why that small thing is a big deal to you: “Thank you for making the coffee every morning. I love waking up to the smell of it and the sounds of you in the kitchen. It just makes me start the day off right.”

Troubleshooting

Don’t expect this to be easy. You may run into some challenges. Here’s our best advice:

If you’re crunched for time…

Make a quick list of everything you each do, then pick a couple of things to flip-flop on. If you’re always the one who gets the kids off to school, have your partner do it today instead. If your partner is always the one to make dinner, you do it tonight.

See what it feels like to put yourself in each other’s shoes.

If you’re having trouble getting out of the negative perspective…

Try to separate the negative feelings about what happened in the past. Focus on the here and now, this specific moment, this specific person. What can you tangibly observe?

Ask yourself: “Have I had these negative feelings before this relationship ever began? Who with? What set off those feelings?”

Identifying, naming and sourcing these types of negative thoughts and feelings can help you let them go.

If it feels like you’re seeing the positives, but your partner is not…

Remember, you’re trying to change your own mental habits. You’re not changing your partner.

Ultimately, how they think and feel is not within your control. But changing your own way of looking at the world is powerful. You’re disrupting the cycle of negativity and refusing to give it any fuel to continue. And that alone can make a significant difference.

(Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman are the co-founders of The Gottman Institute and Love Lab. Married for over 35 years, the two psychologists are world-renowned for their work on relationship stability and divorce prediction. They are also the co-authors of “The Love Prescription: Seven Days to More Intimacy, Connection, and Joy” and “10 Principles for Doing Effective Couples Therapy.” Follow them on Instagram and Twitter.)

(https://www.cnbc.com/2023/01/20/the-no-1-phrase-that-makes-relationships-successful-according-to-psychologists-who-studied-40000-couples.html)

What makes you genuinely happy? There could be a wide range of answers ranging from closing a big sale or investment, reaching a mountain summit after an arduous hike, or eating a perfect ice cream cone on a hot summer day. But according to what may be the longest-running scientific study of happiness, the Harvard Study of Adult Development, which has been going on for 85 years, the biggest determinant of genuine. long-term happiness isn’t wealth, or accomplishment, or even pleasure. It’s the relationships we form with the people in our lives, in our workplaces, and in our communities that bring us the greatest happiness in the long run.

With that in mind, the New York Times worked with the leader of the Harvard study to create a 7-Day Happiness Challenge as a way to start the new year. The whole challenge is well worth doing. These are the four steps that resonated most with me, and you can do any of them in about 10 minutes, any time of the day.

1. Plan an 8-minute phone call with a friend.

The Times’ wellness columnist, Jancee Dunn, tried this with a friend of hers and was surprised at how powerfully it lifted her mood. The eight-minute phone call plan solves two ongoing problems with conversations. The first is that most of us “tend to think that in some unspecified future, we’ll have a ‘time surplus,’ where we’ll be able to connect with old friends,” according to Bob Waldinger, the psychiatrist leading the Harvard study who worked with the Times on these challenges. But chances are that “someday” when we think we’ll have lots of time for our friends will never come. So we need to make time right now or risk drifting away from our friendships.

The second is that, as Harvard research has shown, most conversations go on too long–often longer than either party would prefer. So set an eight-minute limit ahead of time–what Dunn calls a “hard out,” guarantees that this won’t happen. It also makes it easy for even a very busy friend to say yes to the call. For instance, Dunn’s friend spent eight minutes talking with her while traveling to the dry cleaner’s.

What surprised Dunn was how much she and her friend were able to talk about in eight minutes. “We talked about our mothers’ health, made birthday plans, gossiped about a friend who abruptly quit his job and moved to a tiny Mexican town, traded book recommendations, and explored the possibility of an afterlife,” she wrote. Perhaps because they had both committed to a tight time limit, they were quick to get the important stuff.

Dunn wrote, “I had missed her, and didn’t realize it until I heard her voice.” This is an important factor, researchers say. Hearing someone’s voice is a more powerful way to connect than texting with them or chatting over social media. So make that eight-minute phone call today, if you can.

2. Start a conversation with a stranger.

Research has shown that starting a conversation with a stranger increases our happiness, even when we don’t expect that it will. Given that humans are profoundly social creatures and that we all thrive on connection, that shouldn’t really be as surprising as it is. Dunn put this advice to use herself when she asked a neighbor whose dog always barked at her if there was anything she could do to make friends with him. There was, and it was surprisingly simple–all she had to do was take off her hat, because hats upset this particular dog for some reason.

In my own case, a few years back, I struck up a conversation with Shelmina Babai Abji at a cocktail party and we soon became friends and supporters of each others’ careers. At the time we both had book projects we hoped to sell and in some odd twist, both our books came out on the same day. I’m proud to have her endorsement on my book, Career Self-Care.

3. Get to know someone at work.

Work friends are incredibly important–particularly in the high pressure and long hours that go with starting a business. Yet, experts say, we don’t always recognize the value of these relationships. So choose someone at work you would like to get to know better. This could be an acquaintance who you’d like to turn into a friend, or someone you don’t know at all but would like to get to know.

For someone you don’t yet know, find a bit of common ground. These conversation starters can help. If you like, pay attention to things they may have mentioned in public, perhaps that they are about to give an important presentation or will be attending a family member’s wedding. If you follow up afterward and ask how it went, they’ll be impressed and pleased that you were paying attention and remembered what was going on with them. You’ll have turned that person from a stranger into an acquaintance.

To go from acquaintance to friend, invite them to do something simple that takes only a few minutes, like walk with you to the corner deli to pick up lunch. Or, use the Ben Franklin
effect, and ask them to do you a small and easy favor, a counterintuitive but powerful way to get someone to like you. With most people, this approach will help start you on your way toward being a work friend. If it doesn’t work with this particular person, don’t dwell on it. Just pick someone else and try again.

4. Send someone a thank you message.

Research shows that this simple gesture creates immediate happiness benefits both for the person doing the thanking and the person receiving the thanks. So, even though it’s not the easiest of these steps, it may be the most important. Take a few minutes to write a note to a friend, a loved one, a family member, or even someone who’s helped you in your career. It can be someone you see all the time, or someone you haven’t spoken to in years.

Imagine that this is the last message you’ll be able to send this person, and write down what you’re grateful for. You don’t need to put a huge amount of thought into this–you can do it in less than 10 minutes, as promised. Now here’s the hard part: Send the message. Whether by email or social media, or snail mail, send it. Don’t worry if the person at the other end hasn’t heard from you for a long time. People are always happy to get a thank you note, even if it’s from someone they haven’t thought about in a long time. Getting it will make them happy, and sending it will make you happy.

If you can, try one of these 10-minute challenges every day next week. Altogether, they will ]take only about an hour of your time. At the end of the week, ask yourself if these small steps made you feel better than you would have without them. If the answer is yes, should you make them part of your routine every week? (https://www.inc.com/minda-zetlin/4-simple-ways-to-make-yourself-really-happy-in-10-minutes-or-less-backed-by-harvard-research.html)

The secret to happiness lies in being grateful. Follow these expert tips to learn how to practice gratitude every day.

Grateful people are happy people. This was one of the top findings of the Harvard Adult Development Study, the longest-running study on happiness and health in the world, spanning 100 years and two generations of Americans. What’s more, grateful people live longer and are healthier overall. This means that learning how to practice gratitude is one of the best things you can do for yourself, says the current director of the study, psychiatrist Robert Waldinger, MD.

Why? The answer is pretty simple: Being grateful focuses your attention on what you have, rather than what you don’t, and reminds you about all that is good in your life. It also has another, less-obvious benefit, according to Dr. Waldinger, who co-authored The Good Life, a book that divulges the secrets to happiness, based on the Harvard study. “Gratitude is one of the best tools we have for strengthening relationships, and our relationships with others are the strongest factor in determining happiness,” he explains, adding that being grateful is one of the simplest and easiest things you can do to increase your happiness—and the effect is almost instantaneous.

So if you want to know how to be happy, learn how to practice gratitude in your life every day. This can include doing gratitude meditations (one of Dr. Waldinger’s favorites!), writing thank-you notes, gratitude journaling in a gratitude journal and reading gratitude quotes. Keep reading for even more tips for practicing gratitude and becoming a happier you.

What is gratitude?

Before you learn how to practice gratitude, be sure you understand the concept. So, what does gratitude mean, exactly?

Gratitude is the positive feeling of being thankful for someone or something. But in practice, it’s so much more than that, says Canadian psychologist Haley Perlus, PhD.

“Gratitude is a productive emotional training tool. When you are grateful for your life, you can experience the positive and pleasant feelings associated with happiness, peace, passion, excitement and love. These pleasant emotions can then be a catalyst for positive changes in your life,” she explains. “Gratitude is also the opposite of our negative inner voice. It disrupts negative patterns and creates an opportunity to focus on all the good in one’s past, present and future.”

Why is gratitude important?

Science has proven over and over again that gratitude provides powerful physical and mental health benefits, says Dr. Waldinger. Being grateful can help prevent disease, and being thankful can even help you live longer.

Some of gratitude’s greatest benefits include:

Lower risk of heart disease, diabetes, some cancers and other lifestyle diseases

Stronger immune system

Sharper memory and less mental decline with aging

Higher-quality sleep and less insomnia

Reduced perception of chronic pain

Less inflammation in the body

Better mood and less incidence of depression and anxiety

Higher self-confidence and fewer feelings of anger, jealousy and envy

Greater ability to forgive yourself and others

Better ability to prioritize and manage time

7 ways to practice gratitude

Being grateful is a learned skill—and one you can get better at with practice, even if it doesn’t come naturally to you at first, says Perlus. Ready to practice gratitude in your everyday life? Try the simple, expert-approved tips below.

1. Say what you’re grateful for out loud

Vocalizing what you’re grateful for can be more impactful than simply thinking it, says Perlus. Hearing yourself say it aloud helps cement it in your memory, and articulating it helps you identify what aspect of the experience you are grateful for.

How to practice gratitude: Use Voice Memos or another app to dictate what you’re grateful for (and save the recordings so you can go back and listen when you need a little moment of joy). Or encourage the family to share something they’re grateful for each evening at dinner.

2. Write down what you’re grateful for

Putting your thoughts on paper, whether that’s in a gratitude journal or a thank-you note, is a powerful way to connect your mind and your body, reinforcing the positive feelings.

How to practice gratitude: Keep a notebook in your purse or desk to jot down things you’re grateful for as they happen. Or try gratitude journaling: Write three things you’re grateful for every day in a journal you keep by your bed.

3. Share your gratitude with others

Sharing your gratitude has an immense effect on both you and others, triggering a cascade of happy thoughts and feelings while also strengthening your bond. Even people who said thank-you to a stranger reported a strong feeling of happiness, adds Dr. Waldinger.

How to practice gratitude: Make a conscious effort every single day to tell someone how grateful you are for them. Call a parent, write a thank-you note to an old teacher, give a friend a thank-you gift or simply thank the cashier at the grocery store.

4. Meditate on gratitude

People often make the mistake of assuming feelings control the mind—that how we feel determines what we think about. In reality, your mind dictates what you feel, says Dr. Waldinger. So focusing your mind on gratitude by doing a daily meditation is one of the best ways to feel more grateful in your life.

How to practice gratitude: Simply put, thinking grateful thoughts helps you see more things to be grateful for in your life. Clear your mind. Then take one to five minutes each morning to do a guided meditation on gratitude or to meditate on things or people you’re grateful for. A happiness meditation will help you be happier at home, at work and anywhere else you spend your day.

5. Plan to be grateful in advance

Gratitude doesn’t just occur in hindsight. Go ahead and plan your gratefulness ahead of time. And don’t wait to spontaneously “feel grateful.” Identify areas in your life in which you feel unhappy and then list ways to feel grateful in those situations.

How to practice gratitude: Write out a list of specific things to be grateful for and carry it with you, or set an alarm on your phone to remind you to look for moments of gratitude. Not sure where to start your planned gratitude journey? Sign up to do something nice for someone else—feeling grateful is just one of the benefits of volunteering.

6. Challenge yourself to be grateful in difficult circumstances

Life isn’t about what happens to you but how you handle it, and grateful people are more resilient when handling trying times, says Dr. Waldinger. There is no situation, no matter how difficult, in which you can’t find something to be grateful for—and practicing gratitude can go a long way toward improving the way you deal with hard things.

How to practice gratitude: Look back through old journals or photo albums of hard times in your life and make notes about what helped you get through them and what you were grateful for. Use that information to help you find the silver linings in current troubles.

7. Get inspired by others’ gratitude

Being grateful is a skill, and you can learn how to do it by seeing how others practice gratitude in their lives. Pay attention to the way friends, family members, colleagues and acquaintances show gratitude throughout the day—or ask them about their gratitude process. (https://www.rd.com/article/how-to-practice-gratitude/)

An 85-year-long study reveals the secret to long-term happiness. Should you try it? What makes you genuinely happy? There could be a wide range of answers ranging from closing a big sale or investment, reaching a mountain summit after an arduous hike, or eating a perfect ice cream cone on a hot summer day. But according to what may be the longest-running scientific study of happiness, the Harvard Study of Adult Development which has been going on for 85 years, the biggest determinant of genuine. long-term happiness isn’t wealth, or accomplishment, or even pleasure. It’s the relationships we form with the people in our lives, in our workplaces, and in our communities that bring us the greatest happiness in the long run.

With that in mind, the New York Times worked with the leader of the Harvard study to create a 7-Day Happiness Challenge as a way to start of the new year. The whole challenge is well worth doing. These are the four steps that resonated most with me, and you can do any of them in about 10 minutes any time of the day.

1. Plan an 8-minute phone call with a friend.

The Times’ wellness columnist Jancee Dunn tried this with a friend of hers and was surprised at how powerfully it lifted her mood. The eight-minute phone call plan solves two ongoing problems with conversations. The first is that most of us “tend to think that in some unspecified future, we’ll have a ‘time surplus,’ where we’ll be able to connect with old friends,” according to Bob Waldinger, the psychiatrist leading the Harvard study who worked with the Times on these challenges. But chances are that “someday” when we think we’ll have lots of time for our friends will never come. So we need to make time right now or risk drifting away from our friendships.

The second is that, as Harvard research has shown, most conversations go on too long–often longer than either party would prefer. So to set an eight-minute limit ahead of time–what Dunn calls a “hard out,” guarantees that this won’t happen. It also makes it easy for even a very busy friend to say yes to the call. For instance, Dunn’s friend spent eight minutes talking with her while traveling to the dry cleaner’s.

What surprised Dunn was how much she and her friend were able to talk about in eight minutes. “We talked about our mothers’ health, made birthday plans, gossiped about a friend who abruptly quit his job and moved to a tiny Mexican town, traded book recommendations and explored the possibility of an afterlife,” she wrote. Perhaps because they had both committed to a tight time limit, they were quick to get the important stuff.

Dunn wrote, “I had missed her, and didn’t realize it until I heard her voice.” This is an important factor, researchers say. Hearing someone’s voice is a more powerful way to connect than texting with them or chatting over social media. So make that eight-minute phone call today, if you can.

2. Start a conversation with a stranger.

Research has shown that starting a conversation with a stranger increases our happiness, even when we don’t expect that it will. Given that humans are profoundly social creatures and that we all thrive on connection, that shouldn’t really be as surprising as it is. Dunn put this advice to use herself when she asked a neighbor whose dog always barked at her if there was anything she could do to make friends with him. There was, and it was surprisingly simple–all she had to do was take off her hat, because hats upset this particular dog for some reason.

In my own case, a few years back, I struck up a conversation with Shelmina Babai Abji at a cocktail party and we soon became friends and supporters of each others’ careers. At the time we both had book projects we hoped to sell and in some odd twist, both our books came out on the same day. I’m proud to have her endorsement on my book Career Self-Care.

3. Get to know someone at work.

Work friends are incredibly important–particularly in the high pressure and long hours that go with starting a business. Yet, experts say, we don’t always recognize the value of these relationships. So choose someone at work you would like to get to know better. This could be an acquaintance who you’d like to turn into a friend, or someone you don’t know at all but would like to get to know.

For someone you don’t yet know, find a bit of common ground. These conversation starters can help. If you like, pay attention to things they may have mentioned in public, perhaps that they are about to give an important presentation or will be attending a family member’s wedding. If you follow up afterward and ask how it went, they’ll be impressed and pleased that you were paying attention and remembered what was going on with them. You’ll have turned that person from a stranger into an acquaintance.

To go from acquaintance to friend, invite them to do something simple that only takes a few minutes, like walk with you to the corner deli to pick up lunch. Or, use the Ben Franklin Effect, and ask them to do you a small and easy favor, a counterintuitive but powerful way to get someone to like you. With most people, this approach will help start you on your way toward being a work friend. If it doesn’t work with this particular person, don’t dwell on it. Just pick someone else and try again.

4. Send someone a thank you message.

Research shows that this simple gesture creates immediate happiness benefits both for the person doing the thanking and the person receiving the thanks. So, even though it’s not the easiest of these steps, it may be the most important. Take a few minutes to write a note to a friend, a loved one, a family member, or even someone who’s helped you in your career. It can be someone you see all the time, or someone you haven’t spoken to in years.

Imagine that this is the last message you’ll be able to send this person, and write down what you’re grateful for. You don’t need to put a huge amount of thought into this–you can do it in less than 10 minutes, as promised. Now here’s the hard part: Send the message. Whether by email or social media, or snail mail, but send it. Don’t worry if the person at the other end hasn’t heard from you for a long time. People are always happy to get a thank you note, even if it’s from someone they haven’t thought about in a long time. Getting it will make them happy, and sending it will make you happy.

If you can, try one of these ten-minute challenges every day next week. All together, they will only take about an hour of your time. At the end of the week, ask yourself if these small steps made you feel better than you would have without them. If the answer is yes, should you make them part of your routine every week? (https://www.inc.com/minda-zetlin/4-simple-ways-to-make-yourself-really-happy-in-10-minutes-or-less-backed-by-harvard-research.html)

What we call differently-abled people are people with different abilities, which cannot be denied.

“The annual observance of the International Day of Disabled Persons was proclaimed in 1992 by the United Nations General Assembly resolution 47/3. The Day observance aims to promote an understanding of disability issues and mobilize support for the dignity, rights, and well-being of persons with disabilities. It also seeks to increase awareness of gains derived from integrating persons with disabilities in every aspect of political, social, economic, and cultural life. 

The main program of the observance of the International Day of Persons with Disabilities at the UN Headquarters in New York will include the Opening, panel discussions, and cultural events. Member States, civil society organizations, and the private sector are welcome to organize their events to celebrate International Day to raise awareness and promote the rights and perspectives of persons with disabilities worldwide”. (UN Department if Economic and Social Affairs)

Many disabled persons endorse that the biggest inspiration in their success, is Lipin Raj, who got into the civil service despite his visual impairment. The author as a disabled person, turned himself as an inspiration to many, but never compromises his attempts with a sense of inability!

Many people around us put aside the handicaps of life and put success into their own hands. Alix Louise Savage is an Australian Paralympic wheelchair racer and leading coach. Sauvage is considered Australia’s most famous disabled sportswoman. He won nine golds and four silvers in four Paralympic Games and eleven golds and two silvers in three IPC Athletics World Championships. And has won four Boston Marathons. He also achieved world records in 1500m, 5000m, 4x100m, and 4x400m relays. 

She was the Australian Female Athlete of the Year in 1999 and the International Female Wheelchair Athlete of the Year in 1999 and 2000. In 2002, her autobiography Louise Sauvage “My Story” was published. Many world-renowned people have come forward with the message that disability is not a barrier to success in life. Beethoven, a world-renowned pianist, born in Germany, was hard of hearing. American writer Helen Keller was visually challenged. 

Stephen Hawking, Steve Jobs, Franklin D. Roosevelt, and others are also great people who have overcome crises. Indian woman Arunima Sinha overcame physical challenges to become one of the world’s best mountaineers. They have conquered many peaks in the world, including Mount Everest. Ira Singhal, who topped the civil service examination in 2014, and Shekhar Naik, who led the Indian blind cricket team to victory in the Twenty20 match in 2012, have also fought tirelessly in the face of adversity. 

December is International Day of Persons with Disabilities. The United Nations decided to celebrate this day to end the inequality and discrimination faced by people with disabilities in social life. 

In 1975, the United Nations made the Declaration on the Rights of Persons with Disabilities. Later 1982 was celebrated as the year of the differently abled. Then the period from 1983-92 was also observed as a Decade of Persons with Disabilities. Finally, in 1992, it was decided to celebrate December 3rd every year as Diversity Day 

A sign of cultural superiority is the vision to embrace more diversity. When one imagines primitive man struggling for basic survival, such as food, shelter, and security, artistic growth may seem like a spectacle. But in modern times, when we communicate as a global village, cultural promotion becomes an integral part of social life. 

A diversity perspective is also an approach that goes beyond dichotomies such as black-white and male-female. It is essential to include people with disabilities in this holistic approach. According to the World Health Organization, around 100 million people worldwide have some form of disability. It is also basic etiquette to share the joy of the cultural world that humanity has built. 

The United Nations promotes enabling inclusive development by ensuring the participation of the differently abled in the mainstream of society. To this end, the United Nations takes the initiative and intervenes to bring about changes in legislation and policy approaches at the national level. The World Health Organization, a part of the UN, also plays an essential role in coordinating Disability Day celebrations. 

The celebration of this day also reminds the world every year of the importance of protecting the rights of persons with disabilities, they too have equal rights to live.

A recent study has shown that stress can harm sexual performance and sperm health, leading to infertility. The study found that men who reported higher stress levels were more likely to have lower sperm counts and less sperm motility. In addition, the study found that stress can also lead to erectile dysfunction. While the study did not specifically look at the causes of infertility, it is clear that stress can play a role in both sexual performance and sperm health. This is yet another reason to try to reduce stress in your life.

Seven daily activities to help reduce stress levels to lead a better sexual life are:

Go for walks: Physical activities play a huge role in dealing with our stress levels. Going out for a walk early morning or evening helps us to stay active. Meeting new people, interacting with them, enjoying the small details in our surroundings, and inhaling fresh air while going for walks help reduce our stress level to a great extent.

Practicing Yoga: Yoga is a natural cure for many health problems. Several yoga positions and asanas help in better blood and oxygen circulation in our bodies. Lowering head positions in these asanas helps us maintain calm and also relaxes our nervous system

Communicate: It is important to communicate our feelings, especially during anger or grief. Holding our grief and anger for prolonged time results in added stress levels which affect our health. Communicating and sharing problems with our close and loved ones helps to relieve stress and brightens our mood. We never know if they have any ideas or suggestions to help us solve the issue.

Slow breathing & meditation: Even your breath, which you wouldn’t think, calms you down and enables you to make wiser judgments, controls your temper, and fosters patience. This facilitates better decision-making and improved stress management.

Proper diet: Good nutrition and a balanced diet are necessary to maintain stress levels. Often during stress, we tend to reach out to sweet cravings but that should be consumed within a limit. It is important to drink enough water to stay calm during stressful times.

Listen to music: Good music is a good stress manager and reliever. When you have music playing in the background of your life, you will enjoy it more and feel less stressed throughout the day.

Sleep enough: It’s crucial to obtain eight hours of sleep each night, go to bed and wake up at the same time at least five days a week. Sleep is the best healer. Sleep restores the worn-out tissue, lowers the danger of inflammation, and helps the body’s desperately required cell renewal.

If you are struggling with stress, talk to your doctor about ways to reduce it before it gets late, affecting your sexual health and mental well-being. Learn and adapt methods to deal with daily stress to live a happy life, not allowing stress to suppress your happy moments. (IANS)

Squeezing exercise into a busy schedule can be tough. However, new research suggests that doing just 15 minutes of physical activity over the course of a week is linked to a lower risk of dying prematurely compared to not exercising at all—as long as the movement gets your heart pumping.

In the study, published Oct. 27 in the European Heart Journal, researchers used a data set to track nearly 72,000 people in the U.K., who were ages 40 to 69 and didn’t have cardiovascular disease or cancer when they enrolled, for about seven years. The researchers zeroed in on a week at the start of the study during which everyone wore an activity tracker on their wrist. People who did no vigorous activity during that week had a 4% risk of dying sometime during the study, but for people who got at least 10 minutes, that risk was cut in half. Among people who got 60 minutes or more, that risk fell to 1%. Overall, the researchers estimated that getting 15 to 20 minutes a week of vigorous physical activity was linked to a reduction in the risk of dying by 16% to 40%.

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It comes as no surprise that the more time people spent doing vigorous physical activity, the greater the longevity benefit. But the “sweet spot” where people benefited the most was about 60 minutes a week, says Matthew Ahmadi, a research fellow at the University of Sydney in Australia and lead author of the study. (That’s not to say exercise beyond an hour was necessarily worse, noted Ahmadi; because the study didn’t include many people who got more vigorous physical activity, potential maximum benefits of getting more intense physical activity are unknown.)

Even if people don’t have the time to go to the gym, the study shows it’s possible to get health benefits from day-to-day activities because short-duration exercise can add up, says Ahmadi. He suggests picking up your pace or working more intensely at things you already do—for instance, walking, gardening, or even doing chores. “Any physical activity a person is doing provides an opportunity to do vigorous physical activity, if they can do the activity at a faster pace or higher intensity for just short periods of time,” he says. What counts as vigorous physical activity varies depending on your level of fitness, he notes, but a good sign that you’re doing it is having difficulty holding a conversation.

A similar observational study, also published Oct. 27 in the European Heart Journal by a different group of researchers, also suggests that the intensity of physical activity—not just the time spent moving—is important to reduce cardiovascular disease. In the study, which also looked at adults of the same age in the same U.K. data set, researchers tracked about 88,000 people for about seven years.

After analyzing data from the week during which people used activity trackers, researchers found that doing physical activity with greater intensity was linked to a reduction in people’s cardiovascular-disease, even without increasing the amount of time people exercised. For example, people who walked quickly for seven minutes instead of slowly for 14 minutes during that week had a lower risk of cardiovascular disease later on. 

The studies were both observational, which means that the research can’t prove that physical activity was the reason why people who did it lived longer—or had less cardiovascular disease—than those who didn’t. The week of physical activity was also just a snapshot in time, and people’s habits may have changed later. However, other studies have also found that short bursts of movement can reduce risk of death. One 2011 study published in the Lancet found that just 15 minutes of physical activity a day could reduce the risk of early death. A 2014 study in the Journal of the American College of Cardiology found that just 5 to 10 minutes a day of running could reduce early death from any cause.

The new research doesn’t mean the total time you spend moving isn’t important, says Paddy Dempsey, an author of the cardiovascular-disease study and a research fellow at the University of Cambridge. People with the very lowest rates of cardiovascular disease got more physical activity overall and got the most moderate-to-vigorous physical activity.

Although any movement is valuable, Dempsey says, if you’re strapped for time, “adding in a bit of intensity can provide unique health benefits, while also potentially making workouts more time efficient.” (Source: TIME.COM)

Having to work with frustrating people is simply part of life. You can’t escape them. But you also don’t have to grin and bear the stress as if you have no choice.

While researching for my new book, “Getting Along,” I identified eight types of difficult people. The first step to effectively handling these annoying colleagues is to know exactly what kind of person you’re dealing with.

The 8 types of difficult people

1. The Passive-Aggressive is the absolute worst on this list because they are the most common. They’ll appear to comply with the needs of others, but will then passively resist following through. Or they might use indirect methods to express their thoughts and feelings, so their intentions are never entirely clear.
2. The Insecure Boss might be a micromanager who drives you up a wall with incessant nitpicking. Or they might be a paranoid meddler who makes you question your every move. They may even intentionally hurt your career if they perceive you as a threat.
3. The Pessimist constantly points out all the ways something can fail. It sometimes seems like they can never find anything positive to say.
4. The Victim is a type of pessimist who feels like everyone is out to get them. They don’t take accountability for their actions, and they’ll quickly point their fingers at other people when things go wrong. 
5. The Know-It-All is convinced that they’re the smartest person in the room, hogs airtime, and has no qualms about interrupting others. They gleefully inform you of what’s right, even if they’re clearly wrong. 
6. The Tormentor is someone who has earned their way to the top, typically making sacrifices along the path — only to mistreat others below them. They might be a senior colleague who you expect to be a mentor, but who ends up making your life miserable instead.
7. The Biased knowingly or unknowingly commits microaggressions. No matter what they think their intention is with these comments, their behavior is inappropriate and harmful.
8. The Political Operator is laser focused on advancing their own career — but at your expense. Of course, engaging in office politics is often unavoidable, but this person is fixated on getting ahead and has a take-no-prisoners approach to doing so. 

How to handle passive-aggressive behavior at work

Passive aggression is one of the most frustrating behaviors I see in offices because it can be so hard to pin down and ultimately fix.

But there are some tips you can use to nudge your colleague to interact with you in a more productive, straightforward way.

1. Don’t label them as “passive-aggressive.”

Don’t label them as “passive-aggressive.”

Illustration: Ash Lamb for CNBC Make It

“Stop being so passive aggressive!” is a loaded phrase that will only make things worse. I’d be shocked if your colleague said, “Yeah, you’re right. I’ll stop.”

It’s more likely that this request would make them even more angry and defensive, which will stop any sort of positive communication in its tracks.

2. Focus on the content, not the delivery.

Focus on the real concern or question hidden behind the snarky comments.

Before reacting to a passive aggressive comment, ask yourself: What is the underlying idea they’re attempting to convey? Do they think that the way you’re running a project isn’t working? Or do they disagree with the team’s goals?

If you can focus on the real concern or question hidden beneath that snarky comment, you can find a way address the actual problem in a way that works for everyone.

3. Figure out what the other person cares about.

Of course, you still may not fully understand what your coworker wants. But spend some time thinking about possible explanations. Just like during negotiations, assess the other person’s interests. What do they care about? What do they want to achieve?

Then do what psychology professor Gabrielle Adams calls “hypothesis testing”: Ask — respectfully and without judgment — about what’s going on. You might say, “I’ve noticed that you haven’t been responding to my emails. Is there something wrong?”

4. Call attention to what’s happening.

With this tactic, it’s best to stick to facts — the things you know for sure — without emotion or exaggeration.

For example: “You said you wanted to help with this project and you haven’t joined the three meetings we’ve had so far. You also didn’t respond to the email I sent last week about next steps.”

Then explain how their actions affected you: “I’m disappointed and stressed out because I’m not able to do all of the work myself, and I had hoped to have your help.”

Finally, the tricky part: Make a straightforward request. “If you’re still interested in helping out, and I hope you are, I’d like you to attend the meetings. If not, I need to know so I can find an alternative solution.” 

Amy Gallo is a contributing editor at Harvard Business Review and a co-host of HBR’s Women at Work podcast. She is the author of “Getting Along: How to Work with Anyone (Even Difficult People)” and the “HBR Guide to Dealing With Conflict.” Follow her on Twitter @amyegallo.

Ash Lamb is an illustrator and designer based in Barcelona, Spain. He spends his time deconstructing and illustrating ideas for creative entrepreneurs. He also teaches people from all around the world how to create impactful visuals at visualgrowth.com. Follow Ash on Twitter and Instagram. (Source: Harvard)

With the large youth population and their divergent views on romantic relationships, the idea of relationships and marriage in India has undergone a significant change in recent years.

The foundation of a romantic relationship has long been based on the institution of marriage, particularly in Indian society. Because of how dependent men and women were on one another in marriage, this constitution has endured for years despite all challenges, no matter how big or small. The youth of today are self-sufficient in all facets of life, financially, emotionally, and mentally. The need to be dependent on a partner is gradually vanishing, and both men and women are open to relationships without boundaries.

Technology has a significant influence on how people view relationships today. People no longer value the perseverance and effort it takes to build a meaningful relationship because everything, from food to information to dating, is just a click away. They view it as a waste of time if it takes longer to accomplish the goal. Relationships and all other facets of life have been influenced by this mindset. Despite little sacrifice, people still desire love. Still seeking harmony, but with few concessions. Today, a lot of people in India date multiple people without taking the time to get to know them. At the first sign of “incompatibility,” they move on to the next person, looking for the unique chemistry that only exists in rom-coms.

Due to this behaviour, marriages are no longer seen as the throne of a stable relationship and the idea of monogamy sounds like a crisis. Everyone loves the idea of falling in love, but very few people are willing to put in the effort necessary to achieve it, and those who do tend to get easily bored. This causes a lot of disappointment and resentment in those who are already married, which fuels an increase in extramarital affairs. For individuals who fit this description, there’s a good chance that marriage took place either too soon in their lives, leaving them with a fear of not having had other romantic experiences or a need to try them right away. Some people wonder or worry that they are with the wrong person because they feel it.

These individuals have always been present in Indian society, and on a large scale. In January 2020 Gleeden – an extramarital dating app presented a study, conducted by IPSOS, about the state of Infidelity in India. According to the results gathered by IPSOS, 55 per cent Indians had already been unfaithful to their current partner at least once at the time of the interview out of which 54 per cent were men and 56 per cent were women. This is shows exactly the state of a “happily ever after” marriage in India. The important question to decode here is if someone is unhappy in their marriage why not just break it off, move on and divorce your partner?

The truth is that not many people still have the courage to end a long-term marriage with a separation or divorce. Dust is still swept under the carpet, as preferred. Thus, Gleeden-like apps have enjoyed tremendous success in India. Most of their users come from highly affluent backgrounds. Professionals with college degrees and high-paying jobs are both men and women. There are also many housewives among the engineers, business owners, consultants, managers, and executives. In terms of age, men tend to be over 35 while women tend to be over 26.

Sharing about this shift in monogamy and infidelity in Indians, Sybil Shiddell, Country Manager India for Gleeden said: “The Indian society has been very quiet on matters related to marriage for many years but 2022 has seen a lot of people starting to embrace the concept that monogamy is not forcefully the only way, and more and more couples are opening their marriages to adventure and experimentation. However, it is important to understand that there could be multiple reasons behind infidelity and it does not always depend on the behaviour of the spouse. Mostly, people cheat because they feel something is missing in their life and they fancy a new adventure. For some people, cheating could also be beneficial to the couple and add some spiciness to their marriage. An IPSOS study, as well as some internal surveys, found out that physical attraction and sex, lack of attention from the current partner and desire for a blowing romance are the most common drives that lead to an extramarital affair.”

She adds: “Even as we speak about people and their desires, there isn’t a one-fits-all formula. Everything depends on the individuals and the reasons behind infidelity. In the ideal world, transparency and consent should be the preconditions: both people involved in an extramarital relationship must know that one of them (or both) is married and that they would want to stay that way making this new relationship always secondary. There should be these predefined rules like we have on Gleeden: a dating app devoted to extramarital dating, where conditions and expectations are all in the “open”. The intent is clear and there is no room for misinterpretation. This doesn’t happen on traditional dating apps, where one can pretend to be single and easily lie to their dates about the marital status and real intent of that encounter.” (IANS)

COVID-19 has caused an inordinate number of deaths around the world so far, causing life-expectancies to plunge. Historically, countries have recovered from other so-called “mortality shocks,” such as the 1918 flu and two world wars, within one to two years. But the shock of the pandemic is enduring in many places.

A study published Oct. 17 in Nature Human Behavior reviewed life-expectancy trends in 29 countries during 2021, building on previous data the scientists had analyzed from 2020, and found that COVID-19 continued to account for most life-expectancy losses in 2021. But those life-expectancy losses from the pandemic are dissipating in some countries with relatively high rates of vaccination and infection-derived immunity, which both contribute to lower COVID-19 deaths. 

Four countries in western Europe—Belgium, France, Switzerland, and Sweden—have fully restored their population’s life expectancy back to pre-pandemic levels, and four others have nearly done so, while other countries did not experience additional losses in 2020 compared to 2021. But the U.S. and 11 countries, including many in eastern Europe, continue to record excess mortality.

“We found it was indeed possible for nations to recover from drastic and historic life-expectancy losses,” says Jonas Scholey, research scientist at the Max Planck Institute for demographic research and co-author of the paper. “But within our sample, it was not the norm.”

The reasons for disparities among the countries, not surprisingly, has to do with how resilient their health-care systems are at bouncing back from the burden of caring for COVID-19 patients. It also relates to the countries’ underlying health trends that had been in place before the pandemic.

Since COVID-19 hit people ages 60 and older particularly hard, the countries that recovered best were those that lowered excess mortality among this population most quickly, through successful vaccination campaigns and the capacity to provide antiviral treatments and intensive care. Belgium, which showed the most impressive recovery out of any country studied, was particularly strong in these areas; for people 60 and older, life-expectancy rates dropped about a year in 2020 but went up by about 10 months in 2021, nearly returning to 2019 levels.

The U.S. also improved mortality rates among the elderly in 2021, but those gains were offset by increases in deaths among younger populations, including from gun violence and opioid overdoses. On top of deaths caused by COVID-19, deaths related to other chronic conditions, such as obesity and Type 2 diabetes, also continued to increase, keeping mortality among working-age populations high. Overall, life expectancy in the U.S. dropped by more than two years during the pandemic compared to 2019 levels.

In eastern Europe, persistent losses in life expectancy are likely due to fractured health-care systems that still have not recovered from the overwhelming impact of the pandemic, says Scholey. “I’m not at all optimistic about how fast health-care systems can regenerate from the shock they had to absorb over the past 2.5 years,” he says. “By that I mean people in the health care system as well; some have resigned and others suffer from burnout, and this has an effect on what health systems can do.” Many countries in eastern Europe showed deeper life-expectancy losses in 2021 than in 2020; the populations of Bulgaria and Slovakia, for example, both lost about two years in 2021 due to COVID-19, which is higher than the 18-month and 9-month deficits they recorded, respectively, in 2020.

It’s still too early to determine how big an impact the pandemic will have on life-expectancy long term. It’s also impossible at this point to assess the impact of delayed health care for conditions like cancer and heart disease, which may have an eventual effect on mortality. Experts expect the consequences of people skipping or not getting treatments because of COVID-19 to emerge in mortality and life-expectancy trends in the next few years.

Still, with more of the world’s population now vaccinated, it’s possible that in the coming year, some of the life-expectancy losses in countries could begin to reverse, says Scholey. “I am cautiously optimistic that the excess deaths this winter [from COVID-19] won’t be as pronounced in many countries as they have been over the last two years. But with a virus as unpredictable as SARS-CoV-2, “we’ll have to see.” (TIME.COM)

Now is the season to think about what makes you most thankful, but research supports making it a year-round habit. Many studies have found there are benefits of gratitude — both mental and physical — and all it takes to enjoy them is a little bit of introspection.

Here are seven surprising benefits of practicing gratitude.

Gratitude can make you more patient

Research from Northeastern University has found that people who felt grateful for little, everyday things were more patient and better able to make sensible decisions, compared to those who didn’t feel very gracious on a day-to-day basis. When 105 undergraduate students were asked to choose between receiving a small amount of money immediately or a larger sum at some point in the future, for example, the students who had shown more gratitude in earlier experiments were able to hold out for more cash.

Gratitude might improve your relationship

According to a study in the Journal of Theoretical Social Psychology, feeling grateful toward your partner — and vice versa — can improve numerous aspects of your relationship, including feelings of connectedness and overall satisfaction as a couple. “Having a partner that’s grateful for you or you being grateful for the other” can both help your love life, says Emma Seppälä, a happiness researcher at Stanford and Yale Universities and author of The Happiness Track. (Seppälä wasn’t involved with the research.)

Gratitude improves self-care

In a study published in the journal Personality and Individual Differences, researchers asked people to rate their levels of gratitude, physical health and psychological health, as well as how likely they were to do wellbeing-boosting behaviors like exercise, healthy eating and going to the doctor. They found positive correlations between gratitude and each of these behaviors, suggesting that giving thanks helps people appreciate and care for their bodies.

Gratitude can help you sleep

“Count blessings, not sheep,” Seppälä says. Research in the Journal of Psychosomatic Research has found that feeling grateful helps people sleep better and longer. That’s likely because “you have more positive thoughts before you go to sleep,” says Seppälä (who wasn’t involved in the study), which may soothe the nervous system. If you’re going to make a daily gratitude list, Seppälä recommends writing it before bed.

Gratitude may stop you from overeating

“Gratitude replenishes willpower,” says Susan Peirce Thompson, a cognitive scientist who specializes in the psychology of eating. The concept is similar to the Northeastern research that found a connection between gratitude and patience: Thompson says cultivating feelings of gratitude can boost your impulse control, helping you slow down and make better decisions. If you find yourself taking slice after slice of pumpkin pie, for example, Thompson recommends excusing yourself from the table to jot down a quick list of things you’re grateful for, which can help you clear your mind and reset.

Gratitude can help ease depression

Thompson, the cognitive scientist, says experiments have shown that people whole partake in the “three good things” exercise — which, as the name suggests, prompts people to think of three good moments or things that happened that day — see considerable improvements in depression and overall happiness, sometimes in as little as a couple weeks. “If there were a drug that did that, whoever patented that drug would be rich,” Thompson says. “Gratitude is very powerful.”

Gratitude gives you happiness that lasts

Lots of things, from a compliment to a sugary treat, can bring little bursts of happiness. But instant gratification also goes away quickly, Seppälä explains, which leaves you craving more. “Gratitude is something that leads to much more sustainable forms of happiness, because it’s not based in that immediate gratification; it’s a frame of mind,” she says. If you regularly take time to express gratitude and thankfulness, you’re likely to see results.  (courtesy: Time.com)

By, Jamie Ducharme

If you have a happy marriage, “’til death do us part” may be a long ways off.

Married people who rated their unions as “very happy” or “pretty happy” had roughly 20% lower odds of dying early than people who said their marriages were “not too happy,” according to a recent study published in the journal Health Psychology. The work expands on existing studies that have linked marriage to a number of positive health outcomes, from a healthy heart to a trimmer waistline.

The study was based on interview responses from more than 19,000 married people up to age 90 who participated in the General Social Survey between 1978 and 2010. They were asked to rate the happiness and overall quality of their marriages, among other questions. The researchers then tracked their health and survival through 2014.

People who said they had “very happy” or “pretty happy” marriages were about 20% less likely to die during the time frame of the study compared to people who said they had “not so happy” marriages. That result held true even after adjusting for age, gender, race, education and geographic region. (The study didn’t look at how not-so-happily coupled folks fared compared to singles, nor did it account for changes in marital satisfaction over time.)

Study co-author Mark Whisman, a professor of psychology and neuroscience at the University of Colorado Boulder, says there are several ways that a good marriage seems to improve health. For one thing, married people may encourage their spouses to adopt healthy habits such as eating well, exercising and seeing a doctor regularly, Whisman says.

But there are also a number of ways that a supportive marriage seems to help psychological health, which also translates to physical well-being. In general, marriage “provides people with meaningful roles and identity, a purpose in life, a sense of security,” Whisman says. “Those kind of psychological factors might influence health.” Strong marriages in particular may improve “mental health and well-being, which we know is associated with physical health,” Whisman says.

Finally, Whisman says a happy marriage provides a degree of social support above and beyond even that provided by friends and family, and plenty of research shows that social support is integral to good health. “A high-quality marriage can serve as a buffer against chronic or acute stressors in life,” Whisman says. Married people just tend to spend a lot more time together than with anyone else, “so we think there’s something more specific about the marital relationship relative to other social relationships.”

That’s a heartening finding if your marriage is happy, but all that time together can backfire if your union isn’t so strong. Unhappy marriages have been linked to everything from a higher risk of heart disease to high blood pressure — so the health of your partnership could mirror your own wellbeing. (Courtesy: TIME)

“Interestingly, Anandakanda, an Ayurvedic text, mentions the directions in which one should sleep to enjoy a deep, restful sleep,” Dr Gopinath said.

Be it Ayurveda or modern science, experts constantly stress the need for a good night’s sleep for the healthy functioning of our mind and body. This is because lack of sleep can significantly impact your well-being and put you at risk of serious health conditions such as cardiovascular disease, diabetes, hypertension, and mental health issues, among others. Apart from ensuring that you are sleeping an adequate number of hours, you must also pay special attention to the direction you are sleeping in, says Ayurveda.

Highlighting the importance Ayurveda places on sleep, Dr Arun Gopinath, Senior Medical Officer, Kerala Ayurveda said, “Farmers often leave their fields fallow, allowing the soil to regenerate and recoup its lost fertility. Sleep works in a similar manner – it is the period when we renew and revive our senses for a fresh start and a productive day. Sleep or nidra is highly vital in Ayurveda – so much that it is included in the three pillars of life or the Traya Upasthambhas along with food or Ahara and sexual conduct or Brahmacharya.”

He added that Acharya Charaka – one of the principal contributors to the ancient system of Ayurveda – hailed sleep as ‘Bhutadhathri‘, “indicating that restful sleep nourishes our body like a mother, or dhatri nourishes her child.”

However, despite its many benefits, many people struggle to get restful sleep. While we often blame lifestyle factors for it, little attention is paid to the direction we sleep in, which could have a significant impact on the quality of our sleep, and also our health. “Interestingly, Anandakanda, an Ayurvedic text, mentions the directions in which one should sleep to enjoy a deep, restful sleep,” Dr Gopinath said.

The best direction to sleep

According to Ayurvedic expert Dr Dixa Bhavsar Savaliya, one should sleep with their head facing south as it is considered the direction of deep, heavy sleep. “As South is negatively charged and your head is positively charged, there is a harmonious attraction between your head and the direction. Instead of energy being pulled out if you sleep with your head to the north, energy is drawn into your body promoting health, happiness and prosperity. That means you should sleep like a log with your head facing south,” she explained.

Agreeing, Dr Gopinath said: “In mythology, it is believed to be the direction of Lord Yama, meaning you will enjoy a night of uninterrupted sleep and longevity or deerghayu in this direction.”

A study, published in the National Library of Medicine, stated that hat those who were instructed to sleep with their head in the south direction for 12 weeks had the lowest systolic blood pressure, diastolic blood pressure, heart rate, and serum cortisol.

Worst direction to sleep

Is there a worst direction to sleep, too? Just like the south is considered to be the best direction to sleep in, Ayurvedic experts suggested avoiding facing north while sleeping. This is because “sleeping towards the north makes the positive pole of earth coincide with the positive pole of our body, which repels each other. You will, thus, have nightmares and disturbed sleep,” Dr Gopinath explained.

Dr Dixa added that, in this direction, you won’t get a restful night’s sleep and are likely to wake up exhausted from the unconscious war that’s been going on all night long. “This magnetism is understood, Ayurvedically, to affect blood circulation, stress and cause disturbance of the mind,” she said.

What about east and west?

Now that it is established that sleeping with your head towards south and north are the best and worst positions, respectively, let’s delve deeper into the remaining two directions and their effect on your sleep and, in turn, health.

East: This sleeping direction is considered beneficial for students as it is believed to be a memory enhancer. “As the sun rises in the east, this direction signifies rejuvenation and positive energy characterised by intellect and creativity,” Dr Gopinath said.

Dr. Dixa added that this direction helps improve concentration, and promotes meditative sleep and very good health.

West: Sleeping west, on other hand, is linked to an unsettled night’s sleep. “Vastu Shastra says that this is the direction of striving which could give you unsettling dreams and not a very restful night’s sleep,” she explained.

Additionally, sleeping with your head towards the west can lead to emotional distress, Dr Gopinath mentioned. “It increases Rajas or restlessness, and you may suffer from nightmares. But it also makes a person success-driven, so it is for those who want to succeed in life and are not bothered about their sleep quality,” he added.

(https://indianexpress.com/article/lifestyle/health/sleep-directions-east-west-north-south-best-worst-ayurveda-8162133/?utm_source=newzmate&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=eveningbrief&pnespid=B68nqEFQ8jQUyVuF5M2KD0BLuR9hxbtxt1sUAakHKY3KD_fUpaTktoqDS4zO4DB_1sM4ZpX5)

“Interestingly, Anandakanda, an Ayurvedic text, mentions the directions in which one should sleep to enjoy a deep, restful sleep,” Dr Gopinath said. 

Be it Ayurveda or modern science, experts constantly stress the need for a good night’s sleep for the healthy functioning of our mind and body. This is because lack of sleep can significantly impact your well-being and put you at risk of serious health conditions such as cardiovascular disease, diabetes, hypertension, and mental health issues, among others. Apart from ensuring that you are sleeping an adequate number of hours, you must also pay special attention to the direction you are sleeping in, says Ayurveda.

Highlighting the importance Ayurveda places on sleep, Dr Arun Gopinath, Senior Medical Officer, Kerala Ayurveda said, “Farmers often leave their fields fallow, allowing the soil to regenerate and recoup its lost fertility. Sleep works in a similar manner – it is the period when we renew and revive our senses for a fresh start and a productive day. Sleep or nidra is highly vital in Ayurveda – so much that it is included in the three pillars of life or the Traya Upasthambhas along with food or Ahara and sexual conduct or Brahmacharya.”

He added that Acharya Charaka – one of the principal contributors to the ancient system of Ayurveda – hailed sleep as ‘Bhutadhathri‘, “indicating that restful sleep nourishes our body like a mother, or dhatri nourishes her child.”

However, despite its many benefits, many people struggle to get restful sleep. While we often blame lifestyle factors for it, little attention is paid to the direction we sleep in, which could have a significant impact on the quality of our sleep, and also our health. “Interestingly, Anandakanda, an Ayurvedic text, mentions the directions in which one should sleep to enjoy a deep, restful sleep,” Dr Gopinath said.

The best direction to sleep

According to Ayurvedic expert Dr Dixa Bhavsar Savaliya, one should sleep with their head facing south as it is considered the direction of deep, heavy sleep. “As South is negatively charged and your head is positively charged, there is a harmonious attraction between your head and the direction. Instead of energy being pulled out if you sleep with your head to the north, energy is drawn into your body promoting health, happiness and prosperity. That means you should sleep like a log with your head facing south,” she explained.

Agreeing, Dr Gopinath said: “In mythology, it is believed to be the direction of Lord Yama, meaning you will enjoy a night of uninterrupted sleep and longevity or deerghayu in this direction.”

A study, published in the National Library of Medicine, stated that hat those who were instructed to sleep with their head in the south direction for 12 weeks had the lowest systolic blood pressure, diastolic blood pressure, heart rate, and serum cortisol.

Worst direction to sleep

Is there a worst direction to sleep, too? Just like the south is considered to be the best direction to sleep in, Ayurvedic experts suggested avoiding facing north while sleeping. This is because “sleeping towards the north makes the positive pole of earth coincide with the positive pole of our body, which repels each other. You will, thus, have nightmares and disturbed sleep,” Dr Gopinath explained.

Dr Dixa added that, in this direction, you won’t get a restful night’s sleep and are likely to wake up exhausted from the unconscious war that’s been going on all night long. “This magnetism is understood, Ayurvedically, to affect blood circulation, stress and cause disturbance of the mind,” she said.

What about east and west?

Now that it is established that sleeping with your head towards south and north are the best and worst positions, respectively, let’s delve deeper into the remaining two directions and their effect on your sleep and, in turn, health.

East: This sleeping direction is considered beneficial for students as it is believed to be a memory enhancer. “As the sun rises in the east, this direction signifies rejuvenation and positive energy characterised by intellect and creativity,” Dr Gopinath said.

Dr. Dixa added that this direction helps improve concentration, and promotes meditative sleep and very good health.

West: Sleeping west, on other hand, is linked to an unsettled night’s sleep. “Vastu Shastra says that this is the direction of striving which could give you unsettling dreams and not a very restful night’s sleep,” she explained.

Additionally, sleeping with your head towards the west can lead to emotional distress, Dr Gopinath mentioned. “It increases Rajas or restlessness, and you may suffer from nightmares. But it also makes a person success-driven, so it is for those who want to succeed in life and are not bothered about their sleep quality,” he added.

(https://indianexpress.com/article/lifestyle/health/sleep-directions-east-west-north-south-best-worst-ayurveda-8162133/?utm_source=newzmate&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=eveningbrief&pnespid=B68nqEFQ8jQUyVuF5M2KD0BLuR9hxbtxt1sUAakHKY3KD_fUpaTktoqDS4zO4DB_1sM4ZpX5)

A Saudi man has claimed to tie the knot 53 times in 43 years to find “peace and stability”. Being called the ‘polygamist of the century’, the 63-year-old man said the reason behind his multiple marriages was his “search for a woman who could make him happy”, reported Gulf News.

According to the ‘polygamist’, he “tried to be fair to all his wives”.

Narrating his story, he said that “when I married for the first time, I did not plan to marry more than one woman because I was feeling comfortable and had children”.

The man, identified as Abu Abdullah, said that, however, after a while, due to certain “problems”, he decided to marry again at the age of 23.

He said that several issues erupted between him and his wives, prompting him to marry again. “I married 53 women over long periods. The first was when I was 20 years and she was six years older than me,” he was quoted in the article.

Abdullah said that his shortest spell of marriage was a one-night event. He added that “most of his marriages were to Saudi women”, but he has also married foreigners during his overseas business trips. “I used to stay for three to four months. So I married to protect myself from vice,” Abdullah said.

Meanwhile, the polygamist is reportedly now married to one woman. According to him, he does not plan to remarry.

Matrimonial relationships in Kerala seem influenced by a consumer culture of “use and throw” which is evident from the rise in live-in relationships and divorce on flimsy or selfish grounds, the Kerala state high court has observed.

The Kerala High Court in India observed that matrimonial relationships appear to have been influenced by consumer culture of “use and throw”, which is evident from rise in live-in relationships in the state and the prevailing trend to opt for divorce on flimsy or selfish grounds.

The HC also said that the younger generation apparently views marriage as an “evil” to be avoided in order to enjoy a “free life” without any liabilities or obligations.

The HC dismissed a divorce plea of a man who abandoned his wife and three daughters after nine years of marriage subsequent to an alleged affair with another woman and said “courts cannot come to the aid of an erring person to legalize his activities, which are per se illegal”.

“Law and religion consider marriage as an institution by itself and parties to the marriage are not permitted to walk away from that relationship unilaterally, unless and until they satisfy the legal requirements to dissolve their marriage through a court of law or in accordance with the personal law which governs them,” the high court said.

The younger generation apparently views marriage as an evil to be avoided for enjoying a free life without any liabilities or obligations. “They would expand the word ‘WIFE’ as ‘Worry Invited For Ever’ substituting the old concept of “Wise Investment For Ever”

Mere quarrels, ordinary wear and tear of matrimonial relationships or casual outburst of some emotional feelings cannot be treated as cruelties warranting a divorce, the HC said.

“They would expand the word ‘WIFE’ as ‘Worry Invited For Ever’ substituting the old concept of ‘Wise Investment For Ever.’ The consumer culture of ‘use and throw’ seems to have influenced our matrimonial relationships also,” said the court.

“Live-in-relationships are on the rise, just to say goodbye when they fall apart,” a bench of Justices A Muhamed Mustaque and Sophy Thomas said while dismissing a divorce plea of a man who abandoned his wife and three daughters after nine years of marriage subsequent to an alleged affair with another woman.

“They would expand the word ‘WIFE’ as ‘Worry Invited For Ever’ substituting the old concept of ‘Wise Investment For Ever.’ The consumer culture of ‘use and throw’ seems to have influenced our matrimonial relationships also,” said the court.

“Live-in-relationships are on the rise, just to say goodbye when they fall apart,” a bench of Justices A. Muhamed Mustaque and Sophy Thomas said while dismissing a divorce plea of a man who abandoned his wife and three daughters after nine years of marriage subsequent to an alleged affair with another woman.

The court said that law and religion consider marriage as an institution, and parties are not permitted to walk away from that relationship unilaterally, unless and until they satisfy the legal requirements to dissolve their marriage through a court of law.

The world’s population will cross 8 billion in November, according to recently released projections from the United Nations. And more than half of all people live in just seven countries.

China has the world’s largest population (1.426 billion), but India (1.417 billion) is expected to claim this title next year. The next five most populous nations – the United States, Indonesia, Pakistan, Nigeria and Brazil – together have fewer people than India or China. In fact, China’s population is greater than the entire population of Europe (744 million) or the Americas (1.04 billion) and roughly equivalent to that of all nations in Africa (1.427 billion).

As recently as 2015, half the world’s population was concentrated in just six countries – the same as above, with the exception of Nigeria, which was then the seventh most populous country and has since passed Brazil to move into sixth place. Recent population growth, however, has been faster in the rest of the world than in these nations, meaning that the top six now hold slightly less than half (49%) of the world’s people. Including Brazil’s 215 million people puts the world’s seven most populous countries at 51.7% of the global population.

In the UN’s “medium” scenario for future population growth – its middle-of-the-road estimate – the global population is expected to reach 9.7 billion in 2050 and 10.4 billion in 2100. Growth is expected to be concentrated in sub-Saharan Africa, where an estimated 29% of all the world’s births happened last year. The 2021 total fertility rate in sub-Saharan Africa, 4.6 births per woman, is double the global average of 2.3 births per woman and triple the average in Europe and Northern America (1.5) and in Eastern and South-Eastern Asia (also 1.5).

In the age of dating apps for adults, the platform specially caters to South Asian families in the diaspora that are looking for suitable marriage prospects within their own community.

Texas-based, Indian-American entrepreneur Radha Patel has launched, ‘The Auntie Network’, a tech-driven online desi dating platform for South Asian singles and families in North America.

The Auntie Network is based on the traditional South Asian system of matchmaking and aims to provide its users with suitable dating or marriage prospects from among the Desi diaspora community in the States.

“For decades, the Sima Aunties (Indian Matchmaking on Netflix) of the world have leveraged their networks to introduce single men and women to prospective life partners,” said Patel, founder and CEO of The Auntie Network and happily-married mother of two.

“Now, imagine if we could all harness the power of our inner Sima Aunties and had access to a network of singles all over North America, and eventually from the diaspora around the world,” she said.

“Just like grooming a child into an adult takes a village, finding that adult his/her plus one for life also takes a village,” Patel said. “Our platform aims to provide a safe, secure, sophisticated village for Indian singles who don’t cringe at the thought of a digitally-arranged marriage.”

Here is a step by guide to using ‘The Auntie Network’:

Step 1: Create an account at www.theauntienetwork.com

Start by making your own “parent” account. This is how you will talk to the parents of prospective matches and share profiles with your kids.

Step 2: Search the network

Find eligible matches by location, community, and many other search options. Save and favorite profiles or share potential matches with your children.

Step 3: Meet other aunties & uncles

Get to know parents of eligible singles and determine together if your children are a good match. Involve your kids as little or as much as they want in the search process.

Step 4: Introduce your kids

Recommend hand picked matches for your kids. They can talk to one another & decide if this is their life partner. Help make your family complete because after all… Auntie knows best! Membership varies from $0 to $30 a month, depending on the level of services selected.

The Auntie Network is currently live and family members can sign up for a free one month trial at www.theauntienetwork.com

A national panel of sleep experts released new recommendations Monday that call for more hours of sleep for most young people.

The National Sleep Foundation, a nonprofit aimed at promoting healthy sleep and safety, says the amount of sleep a person needs is highly variable and that some people need more than others. Still, the new hour ranges for each age group recommend more hours for infants, kids and teens:

Newborns (0-3 months ): Sleep range narrowed to 14-17 hours each day (previously it was 12-18)

Infants (4-11 months): Sleep range widened two hours to 12-15 hours (previously it was 14-15)

Toddlers (1-2 years): Sleep range widened by one hour to 11-14 hours (previously it was 12-14)

Preschoolers (3-5): Sleep range widened by one hour to 10-13 hours (previously it was 11-13)

School age children (6-13): Sleep range widened by one hour to 9-11 hours (previously it was 10-11)

Teenagers (14-17): Sleep range widened by one hour to 8-10 hours (previously it was 8.5-9.5)

Younger adults (18-25): Sleep range is 7-9 hours (new age category)

Adults (26-64): Sleep range did not change and remains 7-9 hours

Older adults (65+): Sleep range is 7-8 hours (new age category)

To come up with the new recommendations, the foundation put together a panel of 18 scientists and researchers from prominent medical associations in the United States and asked them to review over 300 studies on how much sleep is ideal. The panel then voted on how much sleep is appropriate at different ages.

Getting too little sleep and getting too much sleep are both unhealthy behaviors that can lead to a variety of consequences from grogginess to weight gain.

Happiness is a difficult thing to measure, but one initiative at the United Nations has been trying to figure it out. Every year since 2012, the U.N. Sustainable Development Solutions Network has published its World Happiness Report—a study that examines the connections between happiness and development, all while encouraging policymakers to place more of an emphasis on the former.

Around 1,000 people in each U.N. member state rate their quality of life on a scale from 0 to 10, while researchers cull data from six areas: GDP per capita, life expectancy, social support, trust and corruption, perceived freedom to make life decisions, and generosity. The World Happiness Report 2022 was just released, and while the results follow previous trends (every Nordic country made the cut), the list is a little more interesting because of COVID-19. The report paid special attention to evaluate how different governments have supported citizens’ happiness before, during, and likely after the pandemic.

Here is the list of the 10 happiest countries in the world—and who knows? Maybe just daydreaming about visiting these countries will give you a boost of happiness.

10. New Zealand

New Zealand has had one of the lowest rates of COVID-related deaths during the pandemic, cementing its spot in the top ten. Even without that time stamp, Kiwis are a famously happy and friendly bunch, which stems from satisfaction in both the workplace and social spheres. Having a Prime Minister who prioritizes emotional and mental growth certainly doesn’t hurt, either: In 2019, Jacinda Ardern introduced a Wellbeing Budget, which allocated billions of dollars towards initiatives like bolstering mental health, reducing child poverty, and supporting the Māori and Pasifika populations.

Endorphin-boosting travel tip: This one’s easy: go play outside. New Zealand is one of the most naturally beautiful countries in the world, with as many outdoor activities as there are stunning landscapes. Whether you spend your vacation kayaking in Milford Sound, hiking through Tongariro National Park, or bungy jumping in Queenstown, you’re sure to leave feeling better than when you arrived.

9. Israel

After placing 12th last year, Israel has finally broken into the top ten in 2022. The country’s response to the pandemic instilled a lot more government trust among citizens, as it was one of the first nations to successfully vaccinate a large percentage of its population. Israel also happens to be one of the healthiest countries in the world, with the lowest number of diet-related deaths (high cholesterol, Type 2 diabetes, etc.) in the entire world.

Endorphin-boosting travel tip: Travelers can enjoy that life-extending Mediterranean diet at thousands of restaurants in Tel Aviv, the culinary capital of Israel. Writer Gabrielle Robins suggests seeking out street food like falafel at HaKosem, hummus at Abu Hassan, and kebabs at Zalmaniko.

8. Norway

There’s not too much to complain about in Norway. The mix of a well-integrated government welfare system and a thriving economy built on responsible management of its natural resources (good riddance, fossil fuel-powered cars) means that very few are left behind, and the feelings of social support, trust in government, and economic well-being that come from that all contribute to overall happiness.

Endorphin-boosting travel tip: It’s scientifically proven that being near water makes people happier, and Noway has a lot of opportunities to enter an aquatic state of mind. The country has some of the deepest and most beautiful lakes in Europe, including Lake Mjøsa about 60 miles north of Oslo. There is a bike path that circles the entire lake, so get in a good ride before cooling off in the water.

7. Sweden

Sweden had the highest number of COVID-related deaths among all the Nordic countries, which may account for its drop from the 6th to the 7th spot this year. Still, it remains one of the happiest countries in the world thanks in large part to a high GDP per capita. An emphasis on social equality that is built into the education system starting in kindergarten, 16 months of paid family leave that can be split between a couple after a new child is welcomed into a family, and free day care also make Sweden the best country for women, according to a separate study. Basically, an emphasis on work-life balance leads to a happier populace.

Endorphin-boosting travel tip: Lagom is a way of life in Sweden (similar to hygge in Denmark), something that’s hard to translate but basically boils down to balance and moderation. Swedes apply lagom to everything from wardrobe to diet, but the most tourist-friendly way to enjoy this lifestyle is to join in fika—a designated time of day to slow down and be in the present, usually with a hot cup of coffee and baked good. Just stop by any one of Stockholm’s excellent cafes around 11 a.m. (we’re fans of Café Pascal and Green Rabbit) to easily join the locals in this daily tradition.

6. Luxembourg

With a population under 600,000, this small country offers high salaries and a strong social security system to help its citizens after retirement. But before you jump to the conclusion that money is actually buying happiness in Luxembourg, the country has many other perks that have nothing to do with cash, including a great healthcare system and excellent work-life balance (probably due to the mandatory five weeks of vacation time).

Endorphin-boosting travel tip: Can’t decide between nature and culture? Get a dose of both (and a little exercise while you’re at it) by climbing Chemin de la Corniche, a pedestrian promenade that winds along Luxembourg City’s 17th-century stone walls. Dubbed “Europe’s most beautiful balcony” by Luxembourger author Batty Weber, the street affords incredible views of the Alzette River and the city’s historic center.

5. Netherlands

The biggest stat from the Netherlands this year? That its happiness levels have barely changed (we’re talking less than 0.03 percent) between 2005 and 2021. And in the Netherlands, it turns out, happiness starts young. A 2013 UNICEF report rated Dutch children the happiest in the world, based on a number of metrics related to educational well-being, safety, and health.

Endorphin-boosting travel tip: According to the UNICEF report, 85 percent of Dutch children eat breakfast with their parents every morning (a sign of positive wellbeing). While you may be past the age of sitting down for meals before school, you can still enjoy a classic Dutch breakfast during your visit to the Netherlands: typically a slice of bread topped with appelstroop, jam, or hagelslag sprinkles (we’re smiling already).

4. Switzerland

Switzerland (which dropped one spot this year) is a country where everything is voted on, from how many vacation days workers should have to how many immigrants should be allowed into the country, and referendums down to the local level happen many times a year. This system of direct democracy means that Swiss citizens feel an unparalleled sense of participation in their country’s evolution. The Swiss are known to be insular, and it can be off-putting to first-time visitors, but there is a strong social fabric held together by a belief that every voice matters, which can go a long way toward feeling content.

Endorphin-boosting travel tip: According to a research from University College London, eating small amounts of dark chocolate can lead to a significant decrease in depressive symptoms—and where better in the world to shop around for chocolate than Switzerland? Try the 99 percent cocoa bar at the Teuscher HQ in Zurich, or hop on a train to Broc to visit the renowned Cailler-Nestle chocolate factory and shop.

3. Iceland

Iceland ranks high in terms of the proportion of respondents who said they felt like they had a fellow citizen to count on when the going gets rough. This perhaps became most obvious in the wake of the country’s post-2007 financial collapse and subsequent revitalization. You’d think that the perpetual flood of American tourists into Reykjavik might have dealt a blow to the residents’ happiness—it’s got to be a little harder to get that dinner reservation than it used to be, after all—but when it comes to well-being, the Icelanders are unfazed. Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that they can always escape the city to a countryside that looks like another planet.

Endorphin-boosting travel tip: In a small country like Iceland, it’s easy to socialize with your friends and family—a huge contributing factor to overall happiness. Tap into that close-knit culture by joining an Icelandic family for a homemade meal, which you can easily do through several tour companies. Creative Iceland offers a deal like this in Reykjavik, while Viator has an option in the fishing town of Hofn.

2. Denmark

Denmark remained in the number two spot this year. The country rates near the top in all the reported metrics—life expectancy, social support, and generosity among them—but it is also a country hugely committed to renewable energy production (39.1 percent of its energy was wind-generated in 2014). A recent study from the Copenhagen-based Happiness Research Institute (whose existence is probably reason enough for a top spot) narrows down Denmark’s happiness to a number of different categories, including trust in the government, economic security, freedom, civil participation, and work-life balance.

Endorphin-boosting travel tip: Socioeconomic factors aside, the country’s happiness certainly comes in part from a respect for the planet it’s built on. To get a sense of that “at one with nature” mentality, visit Denmark in the summer and stay at a traditional Danish seaside inn. After a few days cycling along the coast, eating fresh mussels and house-made sourdough, and taking in views of the Baltic Sea from a shaded hammock, you can’t help but feel a little more joyful.

1. Finland

For the fifth year in a row, Finland is number one when it comes to happiness. The country consistently ranks among the top education systems in the world, occasionally beaten out by countries like South Korea, Japan, and Singapore. Much of that success comes from a widespread reverence for teachers, who are required to have a master’s degree (their education is state-funded), and a pedagogical system that focuses less on quantitative testing and more on experiential learning and equal opportunity.

Endorphin-boosting travel tip: Winter swimming is an extremely popular activity in Finland, with citizens claiming they get a huge rush of happiness as soon as they’re back on dry land and their circulation kicks back in. It’s an acquired taste to be sure, but the surge of serotonin and dopamine might just be worth it.

For the fifth year in a row, Finland has topped the rankings of the World Happiness Report. Aalto University experts are available to comment on what happiness means in this context and how this small country ensures its residents’ well-being.

Finland shares a 1,340 kilometer border with Russia. Besides separating the European Union country from its neighbor, the border has also marked a grim reality: the largest happiness divide in Europe, with the happiest country alongside one of the unhappiest.

‘Other countries outside of the Nordics, like Canada, New Zealand and Netherlands have started examining wellbeing more closely to better understand what factors explain why some citizens are happy and some not. Wellbeing is very multi-layered. First, of course, you need to have your basic needs met. We might take food, shelter, and clean drinking water as self-evident, but if you suddenly lose them – like many civilians in Ukraine right now – life becomes a struggle. It’s much easier to think about higher needs, such as self-expression, when you can take your survival relatively for granted,’ says Frank Martela, an expert on the basis of Finland’s happiness.

‘Research shows that high national ranking on these surveys is not so much about culture,’ Martela notes. ‘It’s more about how a country’s institutions take care of their people – this leads to higher ratings of life satisfaction.’

Smart urban planning is part of how Finland promotes satisfaction and well-being. Access to green spaces reduces stress and promotes physical activity, and an environment of trust means that kids can move around independently and adults can feel safe and secure. Marketta Kyttä, professor of land use planning, says ‘a person’s environment plays a big role in their happiness, which makes the topic of health promotion in cities very important. It’s closely related to social sustainability and whether you feel connected to your community.’

Much of Finland’s success is underpinned by an effective system of progressive taxation, explains Timo Viherkenttä, a professor of practice in law and taxation. ‘Taxation – there’s two sides of the coin. It’s not a question of whether Finns are masochists and want to pay more. Finns get more social structure and safety with the higher taxes they pay. Nevertheless, we have to be vigilant that our tax euros are being spent efficiently,’ Viherkenttä says.

‘I think that health is a major factor in happiness. In Finland there’s always been heavy discussion around how to improve our healthcare and education systems – we prioritise these key initiatives so they’re not left behind,’ he says.

Aalto University experts are available to comment on following themes:

Measuring and maintaining well-being

Frank Martela is a philosopher and researcher of psychology specialized in meaningfulness, happiness, and how organizations and countries can unleash human potential. His book A Wonderful Life – Insights on Finding a Meaningful Experience (HarperCollins 2020) has been translated into 24 languages, including French, Spanish, German, Japanese, Korean, and Indonesian.

Martela has become one of the key experts on why Finland is so happy. He has written about the topic for Scientific American Observer and co-authored a chapter on the Nordic countries for the 2020 Word Happiness Report. Martela has been interviewed by The New York Times, Vice News, Le Monde, and the Monocle Observer. He earned his first PhD in organizational research (Aalto University, 2012) and his second PhD in practical philosophy (University of Helsinki, 2019).

Urban planning to make people feel healthy and safe

Marketta Kyttä, professor of land use planning, studies child- and human-friendly environments, environments that promote wellbeing and health, urban lifestyles, perceived safety, as well as new methods for public participation. Her multidisciplinary research team is currently focused on the place-based, person-environment research with public participation, using geographic information system methodology. The team has also worked on numerous real-life public participation projects in Finnish cities and abroad.

High rewards from high taxes

Timo Viherkenttä is a professor of business law with extensive experience in tax law and the economy. He was the CEO of the State Pension Fund of Finland (2015-2020), and has also served as Justice of the Supreme Administrative Court, as well as Director General of the Budget Department at the Finnish Ministry of Finance.

When it comes to relationships, conflict is inevitable. But it doesn’t have to be emotionally distressing or callous. Couples can disagree and, yes, even fight while still showing compassion and respect for each other, according to psychologists.

In fact, clinical psychologist Deborah Grody says, married couples who don’t have any conflict are often the ones who end in divorce. “Relationships that can’t be saved are relationships where the flame has completely gone out, or it wasn’t there in the first place,” she says. When one or both partners are indifferent toward their relationship, they don’t care enough to even fight, according to Grody.

That said, frequent heated and hurtful conflict is certainly not healthy or sustainable, either. You can have conflicts with your partner in a constructive way, and it may actually bring you closer together, according to a 2012 paper published by the Society for Personality and Social Psychology. Researchers found that expressing anger to a romantic partner caused the short-term discomfort of anger, but also incited honest conversations that benefited the relationship in the long run.

If you want to navigate conflict with your partner in a healthier and more productive way, keep these things in mind during your next argument:

Be curious about your fights

During counseling sessions, Noam Ostrander, an associate professor of social work at DePaul University, often asks couples, “What does the 5:30 fight look like on weekdays?”

“They sort of smile because they know,” says Ostrander. That’s because, Ostrander says, couples often have the same fight over and over — almost following a script — without solving anything.

A common cause of “the 5:30 fight,” Ostrander says, is one partner wanting to tell the other about their day, and the other partner avoiding it — needing a minute to decompress after getting home from work. This likely leads to one partner accusing the other of not caring about them, and the other partner feeling attacked.

Instead, Ostrander encourages couples to pinpoint what triggers this repetitive fight, and try out ways to compromise instead of allowing the conflict to erupt. Rather than following the same old script, notice that you fight when one person gets home, and suggest a new way around that. “You can say, ‘What if we just pause, say hello or kiss hello, give it 15 minutes, and come back together,’” Ostrander says. This way, both partners can communicate that they do want to hear about the other person’s day and together, find the best way to do that.

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Schedule a time for conflict

Despite having even the most open lines of communication, conflicts are still bound to happen. And when they do, it’s helpful to choose a time to talk through problems, according to Grody. “If you start to have a fight, say, ‘Let’s pick it up this evening, or another time when there’s time to discuss things,’” she says.

Setting aside time to work out disagreements allows both partners the space to regroup and prepare, Grody explains. They can think about the best way to communicate their feelings in a calmer, more rational way, so as to avoid the instinct of being defensive or accusatory. “Most of the time, things are said on impulse in the heat of anger,” says Grody. “But the words stay with us.”

Call a timeout if you or your partner needs one

During an argument, it’s common for one or both partners to enter “fight, flight or freeze” mode, according to Ostrander. Humans enter one of these modes when they think they may be in danger, he says. “Fight or flight” refers to when stress hormones activate to give people more energy to either fight the stressor or run from the situation. And “freeze” mode occurs when a person simply does not react at all, in hopes that the stressor loses interest in the fight, he says.

When a couple is in this precarious zone, problem solving is highly unlikely, because each person is solely focused on reacting to the perceived threat they feel from their partner. And if only one person is in the “fight, flight or freeze” mode, while the other is trying to resolve the issue, it can frustrate both people and escalate the fight, Ostrander says.

“If you’re really upset with someone and they’re trying to problem solve, it can feel like they’re not even listening,” he says. “I often encourage, in those moments, that someone needs to call a timeout.”

And you can frame this timeout in a way that doesn’t make your partner feel like you’re simply walking away. “Perhaps somebody says, ‘Okay, I want to have this conversation. I need like 10 minutes to calm down. I love you, I’m not going anywhere,’” Ostrander says. “‘We’re going to come back to this, we’re going to figure it out.’”

When returning to the discussion after the brief hiatus, both people will be in a better place to make real progress, Ostrander says.

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Make requests instead of complaints

Fights often start with the same two words: “You always.” Rather than asking their partner to do something they’d like them to do, like cleaning up around the house, people jump to make accusations, according to Ostrander.

“You’re not getting what you want, because of how you’re asking for it,” he says. It’s easier for people to ask their partner why they never do something than it is to simply request that they do it.

Saying, “I’m not feeling great. I’m stressed about the way the house looks. Would you mind picking some stuff up?” is more direct and respectful than putting your loved one down for his or her failure to meet your need, Ostrander says. It’s also more likely to result in your partner completing the task.

Listen, and ask your partner for clarification

When the time comes to sit down and talk about solving conflicts, Grody says the most important thing couples can do is to listen — without interrupting. This can be more challenging than it seems. If your loved one says he or she doesn’t feel heard, for example, you should listen until your partner is finished speaking, according to Grody. Then, ask for clarification if there is something you don’t quite understand.

Asking, “what makes you feel like I’m not listening?” is a much more tactful way to address your partner’s complaint than simply saying, “well, I’m listening, so you should feel heard,” Grody says. Making sure you’re holding eye contact and positioning your body toward your partner when he or she is speaking will also signal that you are listening. These small adjustments can prevent countless fights down the road, Grody says.

And of course, during any fight, insults and character assassinations should be avoided at all costs, according to Grody. “Once it gets to the point where there’s name calling and things like that, the discussion should stop,” she says. “It’s not going to go anywhere.” Couples can come back to the conversation when both parties have had time to cool down.

Learn the right way to apologize to your partner

Just as people have different love languages, Ostrander says we have different apology languages, too. It’s not enough to recognize that you’ve hurt your loved one and you owe them an apology: You have to know them enough to tailor your apology to their needs, according to Ostrander.

“Some people want big gestures and some people want, ‘I’m really sorry I hurt your feelings, and I will take steps not to do that again,’” says Ostrander. “The process is figuring out what’s meaningful for your partner.”

Valentine’s Day is a day of love, a special day on which we’re supposed to make sure that those around us know how much we care for them. But on this day when Cupid is supposed to strike us with his arrow, there are several reasons to think “love” (by its many definitions) isn’t what it once was in the United States, for better or for worse.

Indeed, here are four potentially troubling statistics and one potentially positive sign about love in the US. We’re at a 30-year low for sex

Twenty-six percent of Americans ages 18 and up didn’t have sex once over the past 12 months, according to the 2021 General Social Survey. You might think this is just a pandemic effect, but it’s part of a long-term trend. The two years with next-highest percentage of adults saying they didn’t have sex once in the past year were 2016 (23%) and 2018 (23%) — the last two times the survey was conducted. Before 2004, the highest percentage of Americans who said they hadn’t had sex in the past year was 19%.

Last year’s survey was also the first time that the percentage of Americans who had sex once a month or less topped 50%. In 1989, 35% of American adults had sex once a month or less.

Some of this has to do with fewer people getting married and an aging population, but that doesn’t explain all of it. Among married couples under the age of 60, 26% had sex once a month or less in 2021. In 1989, it was 12%. The 1980s really were better for sex.

We’re at a 30-year low for living together: Fewer people are living together with a partner.

It’s not just about sex. Some 62% of Americans ages 25 to 54 lived with a partner or were married, according to a 2021 Pew Research Center study of 2019 US Census Bureau data. This included 53% who were married and 9% who were cohabitating. That’s well below the 71% of couples who lived together in 1990, with 67% married and 4% cohabitating.

You might think the growing share of unmarried people living without a spouse is due to rising educational levels among women who don’t need the financial support of a man. The statistics tell a different story, though. Better educated people and higher wage earners are the most likely to live with a partner or be married. A lot of people won’t get married if they don’t think it’s financially feasible, according to Pew polling.

There’s also been a higher increase in unmarried men living alone (10 points) than women (7 points) compared to the 1990 baseline.

Partnership is at a low, not just marriage Could it just be the case that people are still in relationships, but don’t want to be tied down by either living together or being married? Yes, but the statistics suggest something else is cooking.

The General Social Survey has, on and off since 1986, asked participants whether they had a steady partner. This past year, 30% of adults ages 25 to 54 (the same age bracket as the Pew study) indicated that they did not have a steady partner. In 1986, it was 20%. In fact, the percentage of 25- to 54-year-olds who said they didn’t have a steady partner never topped 23% prior to the 2010s. It’s been 25% or above in every survey since.

Interestingly, as the population ages and more Baby Boomers have gotten above the age of 55, the percentage of older folks in a relationship has stayed fairly steady — in the mid-to-high 60s on average.

That means this trend toward singledom is more about young people than older people. It’s the same with sex: The percentage of those age 55 and older not having any sex in the last year (40%) is about the same as it was 30 years ago.

Lockdown measures throughout 2020 have been linked to people in Scotland and England drinking more at home, according to new research.

The latest study, from researchers at the University of Sheffield and University of Glasgow, measured the impact of COVID-19 restrictions in 2020 on drinking practices, using data on almost 300,000 adult drinkers.

The study, published in the journal Addiction, found that while people were broadly drinking the same amount of alcohol during periods of restrictions as they were when no restrictions were in place, lockdowns appeared to be linked to a shift in habits to at-home, late evening drinking.

In Scotland, the study found that there was also an increase in solitary drinking, although researchers say this could be explained by a higher proportion of people living alone in Scotland than in England.

At-home drinking remains an under-researched area, and while the long-term impacts of these recent changes are not yet known, the study authors suggest that these new drinking habits should be closely monitored as we move into a period of fewer restrictions.

During the first UK lockdown, venues such as pubs and restaurants were closed, affecting the type of locations where people could drink alcohol. Restrictions were eased from July 2020, with pubs and restaurants gradually allowed to reopen. However, from September 2020 in response to rising case numbers, a series of national and local restrictions were put in place that once again impacted hospitality settings.

The research team studied 41,500 adult drinkers in Scotland and more than 250,000 adult drinkers in England, focusing on the original March 2020 lockdown, the easing of restrictions in July 2020 and the onset of further restrictions in September 2020 until December 2020.

While figures show there was no statistical difference in the total number of alcohol units consumed each week during different periods of the first year of the pandemic, more detailed analysis reveals that lockdown restrictions were associated with people starting to drink later in the day, and in Scotland where there is a higher proportion of people living alone, with more solitary drinking.

Dr Abigail Stevely, co-author of the study from the University of Sheffield’s Alcohol Research Group, said: “Despite some concerns that people might drink more in the day-time, we actually found that there was a shift towards people starting drinking later in the evening during lockdown restrictions. This perhaps reflects changes in people’s routines and the absence of opportunities for daytime socialising such as going to the pub with colleagues after work.

“Although we found that lockdown restrictions did not change overall levels of alcohol consumption, there is evidence from other studies that heavier drinkers may have increased their consumption. It will be therefore important to continue monitoring drinking during the pandemic to prevent additional health problems in future.”

The study’s findings suggest shop-bought alcohol consumption increased following the March 2020 lockdown and remained persistently higher than previous years throughout the rest of 2020, even in the period when lockdown restrictions were eased. Meanwhile, hospitality alcohol consumption decreased following the March 2020 lockdown and remained lower than previous years throughout the remainder of 2020.

The researchers believe this is most likely explained by three reasons: even when on-trade premises reopened they were operating at reduced capacity; some venues (e.g. nightclubs and live music venues) remained closed; some people will have continued to stay away from hospitality settings even in periods of lesser restrictions over fears of catching COVID-19.

Dr Iain Hardie, lead author of the study from the University of Glasgow MRC/CSO Social and Public Health Sciences Unit, said: “Going forward it remains unclear what the long-term consequences will be of the changes in alcohol consumption in 2020. With hospitality premises back operating at closer to full capacity it’s likely that alcohol consumption in these venues will move closer to pre-pandemic levels, although they could potentially decline again in response to new variants if restrictions are reintroduced or people are afraid of indoor spaces.

“However, the increase in home drinking in 2020 is a concern. We know from other studies that alcohol related harm has risen during the pandemic. The increase in home drinking is likely to have contributed to this. In the past, home drinking has been a relatively under researched topic, and there is now a need to monitor it more going forward to find out whether these home drinking habits picked up by people in 2020  become a new norm within peoples’ drinking behaviour. ”

The study, ‘The impact of changes in COVID-19 lockdown restrictions on alcohol consumption and drinking occasion characteristics in Scotland and England in 2020: an interrupted time-series analysis’ is published in Addiction. The work is funded by The Economic and Social Research Council. The Medical Research Council and the Scottish Government Chief Scientist Office.

The University of Sheffield is one of the world’s top 100 universities, renowned for the excellence, impact and distinctiveness of its research-led learning and teaching.

With six Nobel Prize winners among its former staff and students, Sheffield has a proud history of discovery, innovation and social change. In 1930, it pioneered the very first medical use of penicillin, while more recently researchers developed a lifesaving drug for the treatment of ovarian and breast cancer.

America’s population size is standing still, according to new data from the U.S. Census Bureau. Population growth over the 12-month period from July 1, 2020 through July 1, 2021 stood at unprecedented low of just 0.12%. This is the lowest annual growth since the Bureau began collecting such statistics in 1900, and reflects how all components of population change—deaths, births, and immigration levels—were impacted during a period when the COVID-19 pandemic became most prevalent.[i]

The new estimates show that during this period, population growth declined from the previous year in 31 of 50 states as well as Washington, D.C., with 18 states sustaining absolute population losses. In some states, especially California and New York, population losses were exacerbated by inflated out-migration during the pandemic, just as other states such as Florida and Texas benefitted from greater population in-flows.

While COVID-19 clearly played a role in this near-zero population growth, that growth had begun to plummet even before the pandemic. The 2020 census showed that from 2010 to 2020, the U.S. registered the second-lowest decade growth in its history—a consequence, in large part, of the aging of its population, which led to more deaths and fewer births. Nonetheless, the new data shows that pandemic-related demographic forces have left an indelible mark on the nation.

Historic dips and spikes in population growth follow pandemics and economic trends

The unprecedented near cessation of U.S. population growth is depicted in Figure 1, which charts annual growth rates in the 121-year period from 1900 to 2021. Over this time, the nation experienced wide variations in growth, resulting from wars, economic booms and busts, as well as changing fertility and immigration patterns.

Noteworthy are the sharp dips in growth: in 1918-19, due largely to the Spanish Flu pandemic, and in the late 1920s and early 1930s as a result of the Great Depression. Growth rose to levels approaching 2% during the prosperous post-World War II “baby boom” years of the 1950s and 1960s. And after a lull in the 1970s and 1980s, population growth rose again in the 1990s due to rising immigration and millennial generation births.

The 21st century ushered in another population growth downturn, exacerbated by the 2007-09 Great Recession. This spilled into a 2010s decade-wide growth slowdown that provided a backdrop for the nearly flat growth of 0.12% in 2020-21. This most recent statistic reflects more deaths and fewer births associated with an aging population along with greater restrictions in immigration near the end of the decade, even before the pandemic hit.

The factors that led to today’s unprecedented flat growth rate

The demographic components of reduced population growth in 2020-21 are depicted in Figure 2, which contrasts year-by-year changes since 2000 in what demographers call “natural increase”—the excess of births over deaths as well as net international migration.

As indicted above, declines in the nation’s natural increase levels during the 2010s reflected more deaths associated with an aging population as well as the after-effects of the Great Recession in the postponement of childbearing for young adult women. Immigration trends were more uneven due to changing economic circumstances, including the recession and immediate post-recession downturn, as well as immigration policies that became more restrictive during the Trump administration.

Both natural increase and immigration contributions to population growth became markedly reduced in 2020-21, in large part due to the pandemic. (Pandemic impacts were partially evident already in 2019-20 data.) Population gains attributable to natural increase rose as high as 1.1 million in 2016-17, but dropped to 677,000 in 2019-20 and then again to 148,000 in 2020-21. Over the past two years, the number of deaths in the U.S. rose by 363,000 (from 3.07 million to 3.43 million) and the number of births declined by 166,000 (from 3.74 million to 3.58 million)—reflecting, in part, pandemic-related decisions to postpone having children.

Immigration levels plummeted as well, exacerbating the impacts of earlier policy restrictions. The new estimates showed a net international migration of just 256,000 in 2020-21—down from an already low 477,000 in 2019-20 and from over 1 million per year in the middle of the 2010s decade.

Despite this decline in immigration, it was the dip in natural increase—propelled by deaths during the pandemic—that drove much of the nation’s dramatic growth slowdown.  In contrast to earlier years, the contribution of natural increase to the nation’s growth was even less than that of immigration.

Eighteen states lost population in the past year

The national growth slowdown exerted a broad impact across the nation’s states. Among the nation’s 50 states and Washington, D.C., 31 showed lower growth (or greater losses) in 2020-21 than in 2019-20 (see downloadable Table B).

The states that led in growth rates were mostly in the Mountain West, including Idaho, Utah, Montana, and Arizona, which had annual rates exceeding 1.4%. In terms of numeric growth, the biggest gainers in 2020-21 were Texas (310,000 people), Florida (211,000), Arizona (98,000), and North Carolina (93,000). Still, these gains were smaller than what these states saw in 2019-20 or 2018-19.

Perhaps most noteworthy is the fact that 18 states (including Washington, D.C.) lost population in 2020-21. This is up from 16 population-losing states 2019-20; 14 in 2018-19; and just 10 in the two prior years.

New York and California registered the biggest numeric losses. Both states showed substantially greater losses in 2020-21 than in the prior two years, as was the case for most states that sustained recent population losses.

Twenty-five states registered more deaths than births

The poor growth performance of most states in 2020-21 reflects a combination of lower natural increase and smaller immigration from abroad—components which led to reduced national growth and reduced domestic migration across states (see downloadable Table C).

All 50 states and Washington, D.C. displayed lower natural increase in 2020-21 than in the previous year. Moreover, 25 states showed what demographers call “natural decrease”—an excess of deaths over births. Led by Florida, Pennsylvania, Ohio, Michigan, and West Virginia, most of these states are in the nation’s Northeast, Midwest, and Southeast. Just eight of these states registered natural decreases in 2019-20; in 2018-19, this was the case for only four (West Virginia, Maine, New Hampshire, and Vermont).

Similarly, immigration from abroad was lower across all 50 states and Washington, D.C. in 2020-21 than in the previous year. This is especially the case for those with greatest immigrant gains: Florida, Texas, New York, and California.

Domestic migration sharpened state gains and losses

Domestic migration (movement within the U.S.) is the one demographic component which can either worsen or improve state population growth in a slow growth environment. This was especially the case during the past year, when pandemic-related economic, social, and safety factors prompted selective movement flows.

The new census estimates show how domestic migration impacted states which both lost and gained population. For example, the three states with the greatest overall population losses—New York, California, and Illinois—were the three leaders in net out-migration.    These states contain major cities and metropolitan areas, which have been associated with out-migration during the pandemic, and registered greater out-migration in 2020-21 than in each of the previous two years. It is also noteworthy that Washington, D.C. lost 23,000 domestic migrants—a huge outlier from earlier years, when the city experienced far smaller migration losses or gains (see downloadable Table C).

Similarly, states with the greatest overall population gains—Texas, Florida, and Arizona—were leaders in 2020-21 domestic in-migration. Just as most migrant-losing states shed greater numbers of migrants during the pandemic than earlier, it is the case that most migrant-gaining states (Arizona and Nevada were among the exceptions) gained more migrants than before.

A historic demographic low point

Among the many consequences the COVID-19 pandemic has inflicted on the nation, its impact on the nation’s demographic stagnation is likely to be consequential. The new census estimates make plain that as a result of more deaths, fewer births, and a recent low in immigration, America has achieved something close to zero growth in the 2020-21 period. This trend has affected most states, and will lead to sharp changes in how many Americans make decisions about childbearing as well as where and how they live.

While it is true that the rise in pandemic-period deaths—especially among the older population—contributed much to this slow growth, declines in fertility and immigration also added a great deal. Because the latter demographic components contribute most to any future rise in the nation’s youth and labor-force-age population, it is vital that we examine public policies that can overcome barriers to the bearing and raising of children and, probably most important, stimulate immigration in ways that will reinvigorate the nation’s population growth.

Even before the onset of the pandemic, Census Bureau projections foresaw the onset of slower growth, increased aging, and continued stagnation of our labor force. Among the many ways that are needed to recover from the pandemic, a focus on reactivating the nation’s population growth should be given high priority.

Aside from the medical concerns that the epidemic presented to millions of people, there was also an overwhelming sense of loneliness and fear that contributed to mental health problems. Humans are social beings, so it’s only natural that they want to connect with others and develop meaningful bonds. In fact, in the 21-30 age range, 90 per cent of men and 78 per cent of women showed a strong desire to venture out during these difficult times.

Eagerness to get out and meet new people

Two out of every three males in the 18-21 age group believe that they are obligated to go out and meet intriguing people; they believe that they no longer have a choice. Instead, it’s an absolute must to keep them sane.

According to QuackQuack CEO Ravi Mittal, the epidemic has produced a global feeling of agonising isolation triggered by stay-at-home standards. ‘The yearning among people, particularly young people, to return to regular conduct is stronger than ever. They’ve been glued to their screens for the past 18 months and can’t take it any longer.’

The sweet spot between video calls and restaurant dates.

While the epidemic has caused certain mental problems, it can never be regarded casually. It is necessary to maintain vigilance since lives are at stake. A decent strategy would be to keep the interactions online for as long as feasible and then organise for ‘meets-in-person’ when the pain of nostalgia becomes too much to bear. Men and women can communicate via phone conversations, chats, and video calls while also planning meet-ups at a favourite hangout.

At least 52 per cent of men aged 21 to 30 and 45 per cent of men aged 31 and up are willing to leave their homes on occasion for brunch or dinner dates. The fact that this population has already been vaccinated is one clear reason. According to App, 75 per cent of males in the 18-20 age bracket are willing to go out with their dates while adhering to all pandemic restrictions. A combination of online and physical dates, according to 44 per cent of women, is the greatest option for pursuing a romantic relationship.

Challenges that stem from dating the ‘hybrid’ way

In this time of uncertainty and disease, about 55 per cent of women between the ages of 21 and 30 are nervous about going out on a date. They do agree, however, that if they are too lonely or miserable to stay at home for too long, they may reconsider their decision not to go on an offline date. Moving out of your gates and attempting to enjoy a few moments with the one you love is both exciting and terrifying. Hybrid dating may not be the greatest option for lovers who are so enamoured with each other that they don’t want to be apart for even a second. It is still the most practical approach that is precisely aligned with the current circumstances.

It has the support of a large number of people of various ages, and as the trend gains traction, it is safe to assume that hybrid dating is not risky – 83 per cent of males in the 30+ age group agree. People are catching on to this new trend: in the last three months, the number of women who agree with the concept of hybrid dating has increased by 50 per cent . After all, mental health is at the top of the list of things that might assist you in living a happy life. There are no questions to be asked if anything assists you in achieving that goal. Everything is fair and just when it comes to finding ways to spend time with the people you care about. (IANS)

Responses to the question, “In your opinion, is a husband justified in hitting or beating his wife…,” from as many as 18 states and Jammu and Kashmir are telling.

A falling fertility rate and a surge in their bank accounts point to the growing empowerment of women but when it comes to attitudes regarding domestic violence, the latest National Family Health Survey shows the distance that needs to be travelled.

Responses to the question, “In your opinion, is a husband justified in hitting or beating his wife…,” from as many as 18 states and Jammu and Kashmir are telling.

Of the women surveyed, Telangana led with 83.8 per cent of them saying that men are justified to beat their wives; Himachal Pradesh registered the lowest at 14.8 per cent. Among men, Karnataka leads with 81.9 per cent of the respondents saying such behaviour is justified as against 14.2 per cent in Himachal Pradesh.

Also Read |NFHS survey out: Dip in women owning property, but better financial, social autonomy

The survey asked the question and then listed the “following (seven) situations” as reason to hit or beat the wife: If she goes out without telling him; if she neglects the house or the children; if she argues with him; if she refuses to have sex with him; if she doesn’t cook food properly; if he suspects her of being unfaithful; if she shows disrespect for in-laws.

According to the survey, the most common reasons cited to justify domestic abuse: showing disrespect to in-laws, neglecting the house and children.

Data pertaining to surveys held in 2019-21 was released Wednesday. These were conducted in Assam, Andhra Pradesh, Bihar, Goa, Gujarat, Himachal Pradesh, Jammu and Kashmir, Karnataka, Kerala, Maharashtra, Manipur, Meghalaya, Mizoram, Nagaland, Sikkim, Telangana, Tripura and West Bengal.

The other states which have a high percentage of women who justify domestic violence are Andhra Pradesh (83.6 per cent), Karnataka (76.9 per cent), Manipur (65.9 per cent) and Kerala (52.4 per cent). Men from Himachal Pradesh and Tripura had the lowest acceptance of domestic abuse with only 14.2 per cent, 21.3 per cent respondents agreeing.

Data from the NFHS-4 (2015-2016) for the entire country released in January 2018 said that while 52 per cent of women surveyed believed it was reasonable for a husband to beat his wife, only 42 per cent of men agreed with it.

In the latest survey, of the 18 states, women respondents in 13 — Manipur, Gujarat, Nagaland, Goa, Bihar, Assam, Maharashtra, Karnataka, Telangana, Nagaland, Himachal Pradesh, Kerala and West Bengal — chose ‘disrespect to in-laws’ as the main reason for justifying beating.

This is followed by the second option: ‘neglecting house and children’ for accepting spouse violence. ‘Being suspected of being unfaithful’ has got the least number of justifications for beating. Only women (21%) in Mizoram choose it as the main reason for physical abuse over the other two options.

Sharada A L, director of Population First, an NGO working for women rights, said: “This kind of patriarchal mentality is deeply imbibed in the minds of the women who think that serving their family and husband should be their first priority.”

According to the World Happiness Report 2021 which was released by the UN Sustainable Development Solutions Network, Finland was once again crowned as the world’s happiest country. India has been ranked 139 out of 149 countries in the list of UN World Happiness Report 2021. To make society happy, firstly it is really important to spread awareness on how it is okay to relax, chill and take a break. People tend to normalise overworking, which is so wrong. Of Course, we need a job to live and sustain ourselves but you shouldn’t be working yourself to death, and the fact that this is seen as normal is really worrying. You spend more hours at work than you do awake at home, so if those hours are drenched in misery then sadness basically becomes the norm. A study from Gallup (2017) found that happier employees were more engaged, which resulted in improved customer relationships, and a 20 percent increase in sales.

Also, lowering down the crime level would act as a major factor towards a happy society. People who witness crimes, or come across evidence of a crime in their local area, can suffer anxiety and may feel demoralised or powerless. We should also teach them to stop judging people by materialistic things and accept everyone with all their flaws. Media plays an important role in making society happy because they have the power of reaching out to billions of people and helping them out through a solution-based approach.

As per Aishwarya Jain, the Founder of IM Happiness, a social community that works to increase awareness of mental well-being, “Every great leader always talks about building a happier society from Chanakya to J.R.D. Tata. As J.R.D Tata said, “I do not want India to be an economic superpower. I want India to be a happy country”. Happiness makes good things happen. It actually promotes positive outcomes. It’s high time corporates start taking importance of mental well-being like it’s happening around the world. Last week, Nike became the latest company to close its offices for a week to give employees a mental health break. That’s after LinkedIn, Bumble, and Hootsuite have all shut down their offices for a week this year to address mental health. I think the global revolution of happiness has started.”

Our brains are literally hardwired to perform at their best not when they are negative or even neutral, but when they are positive. Yet in today’s world, we ironically sacrifice happiness for success only to lower our brain’s success rate . When we are happy — when our mindset and mood are positive — we are smarter, more motivated, and thus more successful. Happiness is the centre, and success revolves around it. IM Happiness is a community that believes happiness is a skill to be enhanced by training and practice. The team works day and night to help the sufferers get rid of their mental chaos and teach them the skill of being optimistic and happy in every situation, either favourable or adverse. They work on the aim of the United Nations Goals of promoting good health and well-being and have worked closely with the organisation. The team is utilizing the power of Science and Spirituality in achieving this aim.

IM Happiness is initiating a new campaign, ‘Hello Happiness’. The campaign unites 30+ celebrities from across the country to have a surprise conversation with selected people in India. Ranveer Brar, Daniel Weber, Masoom Minawala Mehta and Ash King are some of the celebrities who will be a part of this campaign. With this campaign, the community wants to help people deal with their emotions and to motivate them. The campaign is free of cost and the nominee just has to register, wherein the unique algorithm will connect the nominee with a celebrity or other mentors on a call according to their keywords. The community is trying to bring a change but it is the society’s accumulative effort to spread awareness and to make oneself happy. We should try to start small and it will eventually make a great difference because a better society allows us to lead a better life. (IANS)

We’ve all been there, the stage when we are falling in love with a person and everything feels so perfect. An expert says: It’s perfectly normal to go through this process but what happens next? How do we mature from this infatuation into something more stable and sustainable? How do we manage to deal with our partner’s flaws once we get past the butterflies-in-the-stomach stage?

Chandni Tugnait, a psychotherapist, life and business coach, and founder-director of Gateway of Healing, says there are many reasons why people become emotionally unavailable to their partners. Tugnait talks about what one can do about this disconenct:

Getting too caught up in the infatuation phase

Falling head over heels for someone isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. Some people enter relationships rather slowly, taking time to really get to know the other person and letting themselves fall slowly, whereas others rush into relationships and focus only on the good things. To some extent, all of us have rose-tinted glasses on, when we are infatuated with someone; everything about our new love-interest feels perfect, therefore we conclude that they must be right for us. We might also tend to neglect the issues in the relationship as a whole because we are driven by an intense need for completion that makes it hard for us to see things objectively. For this reason, people can get disappointed in their partners once they come out of this infatuation stage simply because they expect certain things from them that were never established.

No personal boundaries

Setting your own boundaries is something that many of us struggle with, especially in romantic relationships. It can feel scary to put a certain distance between you and your partner and it can be hard to find that right balance between getting too close and being suffocated by the relationship. However, having solid boundaries would allow you to enjoy this relationship while not losing yourself in it.

They have unrealistic expectations

Having realistic expectations about what you are entering into when you start a serious relationship is very important for the success of the relationship. A lot of people tend to set themselves up for failure as they create unrealistic expectations; for example, they might expect their partner to always be available and willing to put their relationship first, leaving other things aside.

Having problems accepting your own flaws

The best way for your partner not to feel overwhelmed by your flaws is simply by first accepting them yourself. There are many people who refuse to take responsibility for some of the things they do wrong in relationships, yet they still get upset when their loved ones point out those flaws which in turn fuels the conflict between them. It is also very important to be empathetic towards your partner and try to understand their point of view so that you can establish a healthy communication.

They stop putting in effort

Putting in some sort of effort is what will keep relationships alive. When people stop trying to make things work it usually means that they have lost interest in the relationship but still want to hold on to it for as long as possible; usually because they are afraid of being alone or lonely.

They start thinking that they don’t deserve better

A lot of us enter new relationships with the idea that we don’t deserve someone better and therefore we end up accepting all sorts of unacceptable behaviour from our partners. We might even be in this situation ourselves! Think about that for a second; when you think that you don’t deserve better, it means that one day you will stop making an effort to find someone who is actually good for you because deep down, the idea that, “they are as good as it gets” still lingers.

They stop seeing their partner’s flaws

A relationship can only work if both people acknowledge each other’s flaws and learn how to deal with them accordingly. For example, if your partner has anger management issues, much care needs to be taken so they don’t lash out at you when they get mad or hold a grudge after they calm down. However, this can only happen if both partners are willing to talk about their flaws and improve the way they act on them.

They don’t express their feelings

Even when it comes to expressing our feelings, some people tend to take things too far by saying everything that pops into their head without thinking or saying nothing and suppressing it all. This usually results in an overload or lack of information, respectively, that makes it hard for anyone to keep up with what’s going on. The worst part is that this never allows your partner to fully understand how you feel so they won’t be able to comfort you and help you through difficult situations. Expressing yourself is very important as you learn about what bothers you and how you can fix it while enabling your partner to understand and comfort you.

They start thinking that they don’t deserve to be happy

Again, this goes back to the point we talked about earlier, when you think that you don’t deserve better and therefore end up accepting all kinds of bad behaviour from your partner. This also leads to a feeling of apathy because no matter what happens, your life will always remain stuck in the same place where it is hard for anything new or exciting to happen. This in turn, makes you feel unhappy.

They try taking control over their relationship

This usually happens when people are afraid of losing their loved ones so they try doing whatever it takes in order to keep them around as long as possible. However, trying to control every aspect of a relationship usually results in a lack of communication, emotionally suffocating the partner, nagging, sulking, and prevents any kind of healthy relationship from emerging.

They isolate themselves

Being emotionally unavailable to the point when you stop having friends can be very dangerous because when there is no one around to support you, it will be harder for your partner to do so as well. This makes the situation even worse because it becomes more and more difficult for anyone to help you break out of that vicious cycle.

They are simply lazy

Some people are unable to complete tasks or maintain good habits once they stop thinking about what would happen if they fail at something. For instance, it’s easy to cancel your plans last minute a couple of times but as those habits stack up over time, your partner will start feeling that their presence does not matter much and this usually leads to an emotionally abusive relationship.

They think the grass is greener on the other side

Some people always want more, no matter what. Often, it results in their relationships deteriorating because they seek for better things outside even if they already have everything in and around them. Over time, you can develop an attitude of constantly wanting something else or expecting too much from your partner as well and this may cause them to feel less loved by you.

They lose themselves along the way

Sometimes, we forget about our feelings or desires because we let ourselves get carried away with day-to-day chores. This usually happens after long-term relationships where partners start feeling like they cannot do anything without having their significant other around all the time to support them and make everything better. In the end, it’s hard to feel like you have your own identity because the other person starts taking too much control over your life.

They get comfortable with the routine

Some people don’t know how to get out of a rut so they do nothing about it and this results in them feeling stuck with their partner on an emotional level as well. This usually happens when one becomes complacent with the current situation and stops caring about improving things between them. If you let these opportunities for change slip away from you, what would remain is simply a relationship that no longer exists or one that doesn’t have value anymore.

They become toxic themselves

Sometimes people just become emotionally unavailable because of their own issues which stem from past experiences or by being exposed to those experiencing them, for too long. If you surround yourself with destructive people, sooner or later you will start developing a lifestyle based on toxicity which would invariably be unfavourable for everybody around you.

Be mindful, take responsibility and nurture the relationship with your partner by being emotionally available to them and allowing the same for yourself too. Reaffirm commitment, surprise your partner and most importantly, be available for them. (IANS)

Chicago IL: Life Partner USA – A community-based organization dedicated to facilitating meeting of life partners – has been ceremoniously launched in Chicago with the attendance of a host of community and business leaders on July 31, 2021 at Naren Patel Auditorium in the Hillside, IL with the attendance of Chicago’s prominent community and business leaders.

It takes 10 seconds to break someone’s life and takes your entire life to give someone new life. In Indian community any reason a person over 50 years old’s wife expires. He has everything except nobody to talk to. He is feeling too lonely and causes mental health problems such as depression. They get addicted to NARCO (Tylenol 3, Vicodin) alcohol, marijuana, and drugs. In severe cases, they commit suicide. On the other hand, no Indian women get ready after 50 years old. This is a massive growing problem in our society, if you find out from seances bureau numbers are very high for them. To resolve this, we have Life Partner U.S.A.

We are not a marriage bureau or matchmakers, our main goal is bringing two people together, everything will be confidential; nobody will know about you and our Service is Free of cost. This official launch of Life Partner USA was celebrated with a great festivity overwhelmed by an extravagant musical show featuring some of Chicago’s finest vocalists: Bhupinder Singh, Rama Raghu, Jitender Bulsara, Rita Shah and Pratibha Jairath with the masterful orchestration led by Hitesh Master and his troupe.

The event kicked-off with the lamp-lighting ceremony with frontline community leaders. Chicago Alderman David Moore, who served as the chief, guest in his remarks, commended Mr. Suresh Bodiwala for creating an outstanding platform for the people to find life partners who are devoid of them in the life. Alderman David Moore expressed his praise for the Life Partner USA and its mission to help meet soulmates.

Speaking at the ceremony, Founder/President Suresh Bodiwala said he is truly impacted by struggles of life of single/divorced/widowed individuals living without a life partner in abject loneliness silently suffering the pangs of life without companionship.  President Suresh Bodiwala explained in detail the objective of Life Partner USA which he founded and narrated his journey of life.

Presiding over the event, Mr. Suresh Bodiwala expressed his desire to serve the supreme power by assisting mankind and by serving humanity. He has a strong will to live up to his ripe age and use each hour to serve humanity for the remaining 31 years. He is also the founder President / Chairman for Asian Media USA, Asian community USA, Asian cremation USA, Asian Wedding USA, Asian Business USA, Asian Broadcasting USA, Best of Chicago USA, Gandhi Memorial Chicago, Bollywood Ticket and Bollywood Muzik.

The event was supported by some amazing sponsors who were recognized with a plaque for their community service in their respective fields. The Grand Sponsor was Mr. Mafatbhai Patel, Distinguished Community Leadership Award, Mr. Sunil Shah, Distinguished Community Leadership Award, Mr. Iftekhar Shareef, Distinguished Community Leadership Award, Shobhana Kothari, Media Excellence Award were Rita Shah, Distinguished Community Service Excellence Award, Keerthi Kumar Ravoori  with Distinguished Leadership award, Dr. Bhupinder Beri, Community Service Award , Pinky Dinesh Thakkar Community Service Award, Sohan Joshi, Community Service Award, Ketan Shah , Community Service Award, Hasmukh Kothari, Community Service Excellence Award, Hanumanth Reddy, Leadership role in the Indian American community.

The efforts of Life Partner USA are supported by a number of ambassadors representing a variety of communities and language groups. The ambassadors are Hema Shastri, Bharti Desai, Hima Mehta (NJ), Sandhya Bhatt, Mr Kanti N Patel, Farhana Altaf Bukhari, Nita Bodiwala, Vishnu Mahadeshwar, Subhash Mantri, Meena savant, Srinivas Aanaya, Lakshman Swamy, Shirley Kalvakota, Gurmeet Singh Dhalwan, Usha Kamaria, Keerthi Ravoori, and Umira Khan. Noman Khan served as the Emcee for the evening.

Mr. Suresh Bodiwala immigrated to the United States in 1969. He is an academic scholar and worked as a Director of Engineering in Research and Development fields in Aerospace and Nuclear Industries for 36 years winning several distinguished honors and awards. He is married to his childhood sweetheart, Usha, for over 48 wonderful years. “With the blessing of God, we are physically and mentally blessed and are a ‘happy’ family with three talented daughters and four grandchildren”, said Mr Bodiwala while addressing the audience.