Humans May Achieve Immortality by 2030, Says Futurist Ray Kurzweil

The concept of living forever has fascinated human beings for thousands of years. From ancient legends about magical elixirs to modern-day science fiction tales of people cheating death, the dream of immortality has long occupied a special place in the human psyche. Historically, immortality was treated as a philosophical or imaginary pursuit. However, recent breakthroughs in artificial intelligence, genetics, and nanotechnology are pushing the boundaries of human longevity. What was once fantasy is now entering the realm of serious scientific discussion. Leading this movement is Ray Kurzweil, a visionary thinker, inventor, and former Google engineer, whose recent forecast has reignited global conversations about the future of life itself.

Kurzweil has made the remarkable prediction that by 2030, humans might achieve biological immortality. While the idea sounds extraordinary, it is not purely speculative. Kurzweil’s forecast is backed by progress in several scientific fields, including nanotechnology, robotics, and genetic engineering. According to him, medicine will soon be transformed by the development of tiny machines called nanobots. These microscopic devices could travel through the human bloodstream, continuously monitoring our health, repairing damaged cells, and even reversing the aging process. If such technology becomes reality, it could allow the body to self-heal and prevent diseases before they occur, possibly ending aging altogether.

Ray Kurzweil is no newcomer to bold technological predictions. Over the years, he has accurately predicted several developments in the tech world. He foresaw the rise of the internet, the development of artificial intelligence, and the merging of biology with computing—often decades before they became widespread. Out of 147 predictions he has made, nearly 86 percent have proven to be correct. This impressive track record has earned him both admiration and skepticism. In 1999, the U.S. government recognized his achievements by awarding him the National Medal of Technology, the highest honor for innovation in the country. His credibility is further strengthened by his active involvement in developing advanced technologies rather than merely speculating about them.

In addition to his predictions about immortality, Kurzweil has shared his views on the coming age of artificial intelligence. He believes that by 2029, AI will reach a pivotal milestone—it will become capable of human-level intelligence and pass the Turing test, meaning it can mimic human behavior convincingly. Kurzweil envisions a future in which humans and machines not only coexist but also integrate. This fusion of human consciousness with artificial intelligence could enhance memory, perception, and decision-making, allowing human capabilities to exceed natural biological limits.

Central to Kurzweil’s vision is the concept of the Singularity. This is a point in time when technological progress becomes so rapid and transformative that it fundamentally alters human civilization. Kurzweil expects this turning point to arrive around 2045. By then, he believes human intelligence will be magnified a billion-fold through integration with advanced technology. Consciousness, he says, will no longer be restricted to biological bodies. Instead, it will be something that can be uploaded, enhanced, and preserved indefinitely. As he sees it, the line between human and machine will blur, giving rise to a new form of existence.

Kurzweil is not alone in imagining such a transformative future. Masayoshi Son, CEO of SoftBank, has made similar predictions. He has suggested that by 2047, super-intelligent machines will emerge that can learn independently and develop emotional intelligence. These machines could potentially surpass humans as the most intellectually advanced beings. SoftBank’s own humanoid robot, Pepper, already showcases emotional awareness and interaction, highlighting how emotional AI is becoming a reality.

Signs of this technological shift are already visible today. In 2023, tech giants like Google and Microsoft released powerful AI-driven chatbots, sparking both amazement and fear. While these tools demonstrated unprecedented abilities, they also stirred unease about their long-term effects. Public responses ranged from excitement about their potential to alarm over what might happen if AI systems become too independent. The concern was significant enough that, in March 2023, a group of scientists, engineers, and tech entrepreneurs, including Elon Musk, signed a public letter urging a halt in AI development. Their statement warned that current AI systems pose a real threat to society and should be properly regulated before advancing further.

Kurzweil’s ideas about immortality, while built on a foundation of scientific optimism, also raise serious ethical and societal questions. If humans stop aging and no longer die naturally, how will society deal with population growth, resource distribution, and economic sustainability? Will such life-extending technology be available to everyone, or only to the wealthy? More profoundly, if death is no longer a certainty, how will it affect our understanding of life’s purpose, meaning, and legacy?

As Kurzweil suggests, these are not merely scientific or technical questions. They cut to the core of what it means to be human. While science may eventually allow us to live forever, it also challenges us to rethink our values, ethics, and responsibilities as a species. If immortality is truly within reach by 2030, as Kurzweil predicts, then humanity must begin preparing for a future that looks radically different from anything we’ve known before.

Kurzweil’s vision is a daring blend of scientific insight and bold imagination, but it demands serious reflection. As he proposes, “Humans could achieve immortality by 2030 through nanobots.” Whether or not we arrive at that future on time, the very possibility urges us to ask how such a world would function and who it would benefit. In the coming decades, we may not only be witnesses to a revolution in life expectancy but also participants in shaping the new rules of existence.

How the Happiest Couples Spend Their Weekends to Strengthen Their Bond

Balancing a full-time job is already a challenging task, requiring significant time, effort, and mental energy. Adding a romantic relationship into the mix makes the pursuit of work-life balance even more complex. As a psychologist who studies couples—and as someone with a working spouse—I’ve encountered these struggles firsthand. However, my dual role as a researcher and a husband has given me valuable insights into the importance of intentional time spent with a partner, especially during weekends.

Here are five key ways the happiest and most successful couples use their free time to deepen their relationships and create lasting happiness.

First, they intentionally put their phones away. A couple might spend hours together, but if that time is interrupted by constant texts, social media scrolling, or emails, the quality of their connection suffers. Conversely, a couple who spends less time together but makes that time technology-free tends to experience greater relationship satisfaction. It’s not about how much time is spent, but how present both partners are in the moment. The nature of the activity doesn’t matter—it could be a quiet coffee shared in the morning, a leisurely walk filled with shared silences, or even a more traditional dinner date. What counts is being fully there. “What matters is presence,” the author states, emphasizing the value of undivided attention during quality time.

Second, successful couples engage in what psychologists call “parallel play.” This concept, borrowed from child psychology, refers to two individuals engaging in different personal activities while still occupying the same physical space. After a stressful week at work, it’s natural to want some alone time. But many people struggle with choosing between “me time” and “we time.” Parallel play provides the best of both worlds. One partner might be immersed in a novel on the couch while the other enjoys a video game nearby. They are not interacting directly, yet they are still connected through shared proximity and the comfort of each other’s presence. It’s a way of expressing, “I love you, but I also need to love me for an hour or two. Let’s do it together.”

Third, these couples maintain shared rituals. Rituals help anchor a relationship by providing a sense of predictability and comfort. Knowing that certain activities will happen every weekend creates a shared rhythm that can help couples weather the chaos of life.  Research shows that rituals can help couples organize their lives in a way that allows for both change and stability to coexist. These traditions foster a collective identity that feels unique to the couple and greater than the sum of its parts.

Rituals don’t have to be grand or elaborate. In fact, the simpler they are, the better. Think of making pancakes every Sunday morning, dedicating a night to board games complete with a quirky scoreboard on the fridge, or having a weekly wine night to plan out the upcoming week. Even tackling a mundane household chore together while a shared playlist plays in the background can become a cherished ritual. These routines, while seemingly ordinary, provide emotional grounding.

The fourth strategy is scheduling intimacy, including sex. Despite its central role in relationship satisfaction, sex often becomes a low priority amid weekend chores, errands, and obligations. What begins as a time to unwind can quickly turn into a continuation of the weekday hustle. Couples may assume that scheduling sex removes spontaneity, but the opposite is often true. Structured intimacy can be a good thing. It eliminates the added pressure of trying to manufacture the right moment, allowing partners to engage meaningfully and without distractions. By intentionally setting aside time for intimacy, couples create space to emotionally reconnect, which is especially beneficial when their work lives are draining.

Lastly, the happiest couples prioritize laughter. According to research, being playful is one of the most effective tools to build stronger relationships. Playfulness boosts satisfaction, eases conflict, and prevents the relationship from falling into a dull routine. During the workweek, we unconsciously train our minds to focus on stress and responsibility. But weekends should serve as an intentional escape from this mindset. Playfulness… can boost relationship satisfaction, ease conflict and break up the sense of monotony that partners can start to resent.

Making space for fun doesn’t require elaborate planning. Laughter can come from the simplest of activities, such as inventing silly trivia rules, staging a spontaneous dance-off, or reenacting an inside joke. The goal is to find joy and share it deliberately. Most couples already know what makes their partner laugh—they just need to make time to do it.

“The act of being silly — and being met with silliness in return — helps us reconnect with the childlike wonder we carry inside that gets buried beneath our responsibilities,” the author adds. The key is to look for joy on purpose and create those light-hearted moments that keep a relationship lively and connected.

In sum, sustaining a happy and fulfilling relationship amidst busy work schedules requires conscious effort, particularly over the weekend when time together is more available. The happiest couples take advantage of this time by being present with each other, engaging in shared and individual activities side by side, forming meaningful rituals, scheduling intimacy, and seeking laughter together. Each of these practices strengthens the bond and makes the relationship resilient in the face of life’s inevitable challenges.

Though none of these ideas require extravagant effort or money, they do demand a level of intentionality that often gets overlooked. As with most aspects of a successful relationship, it’s not about doing more—it’s about being present, mindful, and loving with the time you already have.

Let Go of These 8 Habits to Reclaim Your Time and Inner Peace

If you’re anything like me, you’re always searching for ways to invite more peace into your everyday life. And the surprising truth? That peace often begins with letting go—specifically, letting go of habits that drain our energy and consume our time.

Peace doesn’t just come from sitting in meditation or getting away from everything. Instead, it often stems from the choices we make with our time and how we engage with our daily routines. In this article, I’m sharing eight common habits that rob us of peace and eat away at the minutes in our day. Shedding these habits may be the key to unlocking a more peaceful, fulfilling life.

So, are you ready to gain more peace simply by letting go? Let’s dive in.

First on the list is overthinking. We’ve all found ourselves trapped in a cycle of nonstop thoughts, overanalyzing decisions or replaying past moments. This habit, though common, is one of the biggest culprits when it comes to draining peace and wasting time. “It’s like a treadmill for your brain – lots of effort with no real movement.” Overthinking occupies our mental space without providing real solutions, robbing us of both clarity and productivity.

The good news is that it’s possible to step off that mental treadmill. The next time you find yourself spiraling into a loop of thoughts, take a breath and remind yourself that it’s okay not to have every answer. Letting go of the need for certainty doesn’t mean acting recklessly—it simply means making room in your mind for calm and focus.

Next is procrastination, a habit many of us are all too familiar with. Personally, I’ve put off difficult tasks with the promise of doing them “later,” only to find that “later” often becomes “never.” This tendency not only wastes time but also generates stress. “The tasks I avoided would loom over me like a dark cloud, causing unnecessary stress and anxiety.”

To overcome this, I began breaking large tasks into smaller, manageable chunks and focusing on one piece at a time. This approach made things feel less overwhelming and brought a satisfying sense of accomplishment. By addressing procrastination, I found myself with not only more free time but also a calmer state of mind. “Letting go of procrastination didn’t just liberate my time – it freed my mind as well.”

The third habit to let go of is constantly checking social media. While platforms like Instagram and Facebook can keep us connected and entertained, they can easily consume more time than we realize. “A study found that the average person spends about two hours and 22 minutes per day on social networks and messaging.” Imagine what else you could do with that time—read, walk, cook, rest.

Rather than quitting social media completely, the goal is mindful use. Try setting boundaries such as checking your apps only at designated times or limiting your scrolling sessions. By doing so, you regain control of your time and create more space for peace and joy.

Neglecting self-care is another habit that diminishes both our time and our well-being. It’s easy to dismiss self-care as indulgent when life gets busy, but it’s actually essential. “Neglecting self-care doesn’t just harm your health, it also wastes your time in the long run.” Skipping rest or relaxation makes us more prone to mistakes, stress, and burnout.

Making time for self-care doesn’t have to be complicated. Whether it’s a short walk during lunch, a few minutes of daily mindfulness, or time spent on a hobby, these small actions replenish your energy and boost your peace. “By investing time in self-care, you’re actually saving time in the long run.”

Another peace-draining habit is saying ‘yes’ when you really want to say ‘no’. This often comes from a desire to please others or avoid conflict, but it can have a heavy cost. “Every time we say ‘yes’ to something we don’t want, we’re saying ‘no’ to ourselves, our needs, and our peace.”

Learning to say ‘no’ is not selfish—it’s an act of self-respect. It allows you to protect your time and devote it to what truly matters to you. “By learning to say ‘no’, you can reclaim your time and bring more peace into your life.”

Perfectionism is another trap I know all too well. For years, I obsessed over getting everything just right. “I would spend hours working on a task, trying to get it just right.” While striving for excellence isn’t a bad thing, chasing perfection can consume hours and leave you feeling constantly inadequate.

Eventually, I realized that perfection is unattainable and not worth the anxiety. The key is to do your best and accept that mistakes are part of learning. “Letting go of the need for perfection can free up your time and bring a lot more peace into your life.”

Not setting boundaries is another habit that chips away at peace. Whether it’s answering emails after hours or constantly being available to others, failing to establish limits takes a toll. “Setting boundaries means respecting your time and energy.”

It’s important to communicate your needs clearly, even if it feels awkward at first. Boundaries help create structure and protect your well-being. “By setting boundaries, you’re taking a crucial step towards reclaiming your time and fostering more peace in your life.”

The final habit is living in the past or the future. Many of us dwell on past regrets or stress about what’s ahead, but this focus steals our attention from the present moment. “Living in the past or future not only wastes our time but also steals our peace.”

Peace is found in the now. By staying grounded in the present, you can enjoy life more fully and avoid the stress of things you can’t change or control. “Because peace isn’t found in the past or future, but right here, in the present moment.”

At the core of all this is the idea that peace is not a far-off goal—it’s a continuous journey made up of everyday decisions. “It’s about making small, conscious choices every day to let go of habits that no longer serve us and embrace those that bring us closer to our true selves.”

Time is one of our most valuable resources. Once it’s gone, we can’t get it back. But the beauty is that we have the power to choose how we use it. “Whether it’s saying no to things that drain us or saying yes to self-care, each decision we make shapes our experience of peace.”

As Lao Tzu said, “If you are at peace, you are living in the present.” Let’s start releasing these peace-stealing habits, moment by moment. Because peace isn’t just about silence or stillness—it’s about how we engage with time and how we live each day.

Trump Pushes for Baby Boom Amid Declining Birth Rates, But Many Young Couples Opt Out of Parenthood

As the oldest members of the Baby Boomer generation prepare to turn 80 next year and the youngest among them become eligible for Social Security, President Donald Trump is calling for a new baby boom to counter declining birth rates. His administration even considered introducing a $5,000 “baby bonus” aimed at reducing the financial strain of raising children. However, for a growing number of young couples, financial incentives alone are not enough to change their minds about parenthood.

One such couple, Tiana and PJ Morales, have been married for seven years and spent the early part of their marriage traveling extensively. Since tying the knot, they have repeatedly faced the common question from relatives about whether they plan to start a family. But the Florida-based couple has firmly decided against having children—now or in the future.

Tiana, who is currently 37, once assumed she would become a mother. However, her perspective shifted during her early twenties when she worked as a nanny, caring for four children simultaneously. The experience was transformative and made her rethink her future. “It just dawned on me, is this what I would want to do every single day?” she recalled.

This sentiment resonates with many others across the country. According to newly released data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), the U.S. fertility rate has dropped significantly over the past 20 years and is now approaching historic lows. A combination of factors appears to be influencing this trend. While high living costs and environmental concerns are often cited, a substantial number of young adults simply express no desire to become parents.

Amy Blackstone, a sociology professor at the University of Maine, has conducted extensive research on individuals who identify as “child-free by choice.” She suggests that societal expectations often drive people to believe that parenthood is a natural and inevitable part of adulthood. “We are raised to believe that it is our destiny to become parents,” Blackstone explained.

For Blackstone and her husband Lance, the decision to remain a family of two was deeply personal. They rejected the conventional narrative and instead chose to prioritize their relationship. “Child-free person will say, ‘I valued my relationship with my partner so much that I didn’t want another party changing that relationship,’” she noted. In contrast, “A parent will say the imagined relationship with a child is so important to me that I want that relationship.”

Tiana Morales, like Blackstone, began to connect with others who shared her outlook. As her friends entered parenthood, she took the initiative to organize occasional gatherings for people who have chosen to be child-free. The reasons shared at these events vary widely, from lifestyle preferences to concerns about climate change and the direction in which the world is heading.

While Tiana is largely confident in her choice not to have children, she admits to occasional moments of reflection about the future. Growing up in a large family, her childhood holidays were filled with warmth, noise, and togetherness. She sometimes wonders what her future holidays will look like without a big extended family to gather around. “I grew up in a big family and the holidays were always surrounded by a large family. It’s fun. And so as I age, what will holidays look like? Will they be just as fun? I don’t know,” she said.

Despite these lingering questions, Tiana and PJ are certain about their path. The decision to remain child-free wasn’t made hastily or casually. It was a deliberate and thoughtful choice—a reflection of their values, experiences, and vision for their future.

The Moraleses represent a growing segment of the population in the United States: individuals and couples who are opting out of traditional family structures and carving their own paths. And while political leaders may offer incentives in an attempt to influence demographic trends, the choice to become a parent remains one of the most personal decisions a person can make.

In recent years, calls for policies to reverse the fertility slump have gained momentum among some conservative politicians and economists, who view declining birth rates as a threat to economic stability and national prosperity.  President Trump’s baby bonus proposal is one such attempt to reverse the demographic slide. But many experts argue that such policies rarely address the underlying reasons people choose not to have children.

Economic factors are certainly a significant concern for many. The rising cost of housing, education, and childcare creates considerable financial pressure, particularly for millennials and Gen Z adults who are also grappling with student debt and job market uncertainties. For some, the idea of bringing a child into such an environment feels irresponsible or even unmanageable.

Meanwhile, the looming threat of climate change weighs heavily on the minds of others. With global temperatures rising and natural disasters becoming more frequent and severe, many people are questioning what kind of world their children would inherit. These concerns have prompted a noticeable shift in attitudes about reproduction and responsibility.

Career goals also play a pivotal role. As more women pursue higher education and professional advancement, they are increasingly choosing to prioritize their ambitions over starting families. The notion of fulfillment has evolved; where past generations may have equated happiness with parenthood, today’s younger adults often find purpose in different aspects of life—such as travel, creative endeavors, or deep relationships.

For those like Amy Blackstone, the cultural narrative around childlessness is slowly shifting. Years ago, choosing not to have children might have invited skepticism, pity, or judgment. Now, that choice is becoming more visible and accepted, thanks in part to growing communities of child-free individuals who are vocal about their decisions and experiences.

Still, the pressure to conform can be intense. Many who opt out of parenthood report being asked repeatedly to explain their choice or being told they’ll change their minds. Social gatherings, family events, and even casual conversations can become moments of scrutiny. Despite this, those who identify as child-free remain firm in their convictions.

Ultimately, the conversation surrounding parenthood is evolving. What was once seen as a near-universal life stage is now one of many valid paths. The story of Tiana and PJ Morales illustrates this new reality. They are not anti-family, nor are they indifferent to the joys of parenting. Rather, they have chosen a different route—one that aligns more closely with their values and long-term vision.

And as America grapples with declining birth rates and policymakers search for solutions, it’s clear that no single financial incentive or government program can override the deeply personal nature of the decision to have children. For many young couples today, the answer to that question is simply no—and it’s a no born out of careful thought, self-awareness, and the freedom to choose.

Building Stronger Adult Relationships Through Small Acts of Altruism

As adults, developing and sustaining meaningful relationships often feels like an uphill task. With work demands, family commitments, and the daily grind, carving out the time and emotional capacity to invest in relationships can seem nearly impossible.

Social networks naturally tend to shrink over time, and it becomes easy to slip into a cycle of simply maintaining surface-level interactions without forming the deeper bonds we crave. Even when opportunities arise to meet new people, forging those first meaningful connections often feels more intimidating than ever before.

Yet, classical research continues to emphasize how essential social support is to our overall well-being. There are two major models that explain this: the “main effect” model, where simply having a robust social network directly improves mental and physical health, and the “buffering model,” which shows that strong social ties can shield us from the damaging impacts of stress.

Even though the importance of relationships is well-established, the practical realities of forming and sustaining these connections remain daunting. As we become increasingly busy, finding common ground with new people, overcoming social hurdles, and maintaining initial bonds becomes more difficult.

However, the encouraging news is that grand, sweeping gestures are not necessary for building meaningful bonds. Often, the smallest acts of kindness and cooperation are the ones that lay the foundation for deep, enduring relationships. These selfless gestures promote mutual support and help create lasting emotional connections.

Here are two research-supported strategies that can ignite new relationships or strengthen existing ones through simple acts of altruism.

Bonding Through Shared Goals and Coordinated Efforts

When people collaborate toward a common objective, a unique bond often forms. Whether it’s helping a friend move, participating in a team sport, or working together on a project, coordinated tasks naturally create a sense of unity. As individuals synchronize their actions and intentions, they often come to understand each other without the need for excessive communication.

This sense of connection goes far beyond simply completing a task. Shared activities often generate deeper feelings of goodwill, increasing the desire to help and support each other outside of the task itself. As bonds strengthen through cooperation, participants often feel more inclined to engage in additional acts of kindness toward one another.

A 2017 study published in Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience explored this phenomenon through brain imaging, examining how synchronized brain activity during shared tasks can enhance social bonds. The researchers discovered that when two people collaborated on a task, their brain activity became strikingly aligned. Specifically, brain regions linked to understanding others lit up, indicating mental synchronization.

This brain alignment correlated with a rise in prosocial behavior. “The more in tune the participants were with each other during the task, the more likely they were to show kindness and cooperation afterward,” the study found.

The study’s findings demonstrate how working together—even on simple tasks—can foster profound emotional connections. Incorporating these shared moments into daily life can help deepen both new and existing relationships.

To nurture current bonds, try engaging in collaborative creative projects like painting a mural, designing a scrapbook, or cooking a meal together. Shared wellness routines such as group walks or yoga sessions can also create moments of connection.

In professional or social environments, seek out low-pressure opportunities to work alongside others. Participating in a volunteer event, tackling a collaborative work project with curiosity rather than competition, or brainstorming with new colleagues are all ways to lay the groundwork for stronger relationships.

When trying to make new friends, consider joining group activities where collaboration is built into the experience, such as fitness classes, art workshops, or volunteer initiatives.

By simply showing up and engaging in these everyday collaborations, you’re creating space for deeper understanding and support to naturally unfold . Whether reconnecting with old friends or forging new relationships, the small, shared efforts often pave the way for lasting bonds.

Building Bonds Through Meaningful Favors

Asking for help might not be the first method that comes to mind when thinking about strengthening relationships. It can feel awkward, vulnerable, or even intrusive. Yet, research shows that requesting a favor can actually enhance the bond between individuals.

This idea draws on the psychological concept of “amae,” a Japanese term that refers to the desire to rely on others for emotional support or affection. Amae suggests that allowing oneself to depend on others can deepen interpersonal bonds by fostering a sense of mutual care and trust.

An experiment conducted with both Japanese and American participants asked individuals to assist a confederate—someone secretly working with the researchers—and then evaluated their feelings toward that person afterward. The study found that participants who were asked for help developed greater feelings of liking, closeness, and sociability toward the confederate.

The study’s key takeaway was that vulnerability in asking for help is not a weakness, but a bridge to stronger connection. “The act of needing someone and showing vulnerability can encourage people to feel more positively about the requester,” the researchers noted.

When one person seeks support and another provides it, both individuals benefit: the requester feels cared for, and the helper experiences a sense of importance and appreciation. This reciprocal dynamic fosters emotional closeness and trust over time.

To integrate this principle into everyday life, try asking friends to review something you’ve created, like a social media post, resume, or important message. This not only signals trust but also makes others feel valued for their input.

Another simple method is to request help with small decisions, such as choosing between two outfits or selecting a gift. Many people enjoy giving advice and feeling helpful.

Additionally, acknowledging emotional support when offered can strengthen bonds. If you are having a rough day, expressing gratitude for a friend’s check-in reinforces the sense of connection.

Another thoughtful approach is to ask someone to teach you a skill they excel at. Whether it’s a small hobby or a professional skill, asking to learn from someone makes them feel seen and appreciated.

The goal of asking for help is not to exploit others but to create opportunities for meaningful interaction. As you practice this, you’ll find that asking genuinely and respectfully can lead to a deeper sense of connection that benefits both of you.

Finally, it’s important to remember that strong relationships thrive on mutuality. Offering help to others is just as vital as asking for it. This ongoing give-and-take builds the trust and emotional intimacy that are the cornerstones of enduring relationships.

When we approach others with sincerity, value both giving and receiving, and recognize the power of vulnerability, we can create bonds that move beyond surface-level interactions to something truly meaningful.

Daily Bed-Making: The Quiet Habit That Builds Strength, Resilience, and Self-Belief

I’ve always been intrigued by the simple rituals that quietly shape our daily lives—those often-overlooked routines that have the power to influence our mood and mindset. For some, it might be writing in a journal as soon as they wake up. For others, it’s enjoying the serenity of their first coffee. And then there’s the act of making the bed—a seemingly mundane habit that can actually carry deep psychological meaning.

Truthfully, I didn’t always pay attention to making my bed. In my twenties, I’d rush out of the house, leaving my bedding in a tangled heap. But over the years, especially through my work as a relationship counselor, I started noticing how the smallest routines can reflect larger emotional and behavioral traits.

I gave bed-making a shot, and to my surprise, I felt an immediate difference—not just in how my room looked, but in how I felt about myself.

At DM News, we love exploring how ordinary habits can have extraordinary impacts. And this particular habit—making your bed every morning—definitely qualifies. Here are seven quiet strengths I’ve found are often present in those who embrace this daily practice.

First, they demonstrate self-discipline. Discipline isn’t about forcing yourself into unpleasant routines. It’s more about creating structure in your life that helps you grow. Making your bed might seem trivial, but it signals to your brain that you’re in control. Stephen Covey once said, “Our character is basically a composite of our habits.” When you commit to even a small action like bed-making, you reinforce the idea that you can direct your day. That mindset tends to carry over into bigger decisions and challenges. It tells you, “I’m someone who follows through.”

Second, they practice mindful awareness. If you’ve ever taken the time to carefully tuck in your sheets, fluff your pillows, and smooth the comforter, you’ve probably noticed how grounding it feels. This isn’t just mindless housekeeping—it can be a small moment of mindfulness. Early in my counseling work, I encouraged anxious clients to adopt a calming daily task they could do slowly and with intention. Bed-making turned out to be a great fit. It gives people a reason to pause before diving into the day. As Susan Cain, author of Quiet, observed, small reflective rituals can be powerful, especially for introverts. But extroverts benefit too. Instead of jumping straight to emails or texts, you begin with presence—and that grounded feeling can carry through the day.

Third, they start the day with accomplishment. It’s easy to believe that big wins—like completing a major project—are the only way to feel successful. But even small victories can offer a psychological boost. Seeing your bed neatly made just five minutes after waking up gives you a sense of order and completion. Admiral William H. McRaven once said, “If you make your bed every morning, you will have accomplished the first task of the day.” That small success can create a ripple effect, preparing your mind to tackle what comes next.

Fourth, they value order and calm. Chaos in your environment often reflects internal stress. Coming home to a messy, unmade bed can amplify feelings of disorder, while walking into a room with a neatly made bed can create instant calm. I’ve recommended this habit to clients dealing with overwhelm, and they almost always tell me it makes a difference. Brené Brown has spoken about how physical or emotional clutter weighs us down. Tidying your space—starting with your bed—can create room for peace in your thoughts as well. It’s not about perfection but about giving yourself a space that feels stable.

Fifth, they’re consistent with the little things. We often associate consistency with major life goals—like fitness routines or career plans. But consistency is also in the small daily actions. I’ve seen that people who make their beds regularly are usually the same ones who meet deadlines, arrive on time, and follow through on promises. Tony Robbins put it best: “It’s not what we do once in a while that shapes our lives. It’s what we do consistently.” By being dependable in tiny details, you build a character of trust and reliability—even when no one’s watching.

Sixth, they develop a quiet confidence. A friend of mine—let’s call her Amanda—once shared how she’d struggled with self-esteem. Unsure of her strengths, she made a decision to start making her bed every morning. It seemed small, but it helped her build confidence. Over time, that daily act reminded her she could stick to commitments, even if they were just to herself. Eventually, she felt ready to ask for a raise and speak up at work. Warren Buffett once said, “The best investment you can make is in yourself.” Following through on simple promises, like arranging your bed, is an investment in self-trust. That trust translates into subtle yet impactful confidence—in posture, tone, and actions.

Seventh, they become more resilient to life’s bigger challenges. This final point may be the most important. Resilience isn’t innate—it’s built. Though bed-making might not seem related to emotional strength, it exercises the mental muscle of persistence. I recall a psychology study that showed a connection between consistent daily routines and better stress resilience. Those who stick with positive habits are often better equipped to manage difficulties. As Michelle Obama once said, “You may not always have a comfortable life. And you will not always be able to solve all of the world’s problems at once. But don’t ever underestimate the importance you can have.” Resilience is about doing what you can, day by day—even in the smallest ways.

In closing, I’ve come to see that making your bed is about far more than aesthetics. It symbolizes self-discipline, mindfulness, calm, confidence, and inner strength. It’s one of those powerful but humble actions that doesn’t shout for attention—but changes your attitude all the same.

If you’ve read my work before on building meaningful daily habits, you might already recognize how essential small routines can be. Bed-making stands out because it’s simple, quick, and repeatable—and it can set the stage for profound changes.

In my counseling practice and in my book Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, I explore how awareness and change go hand in hand. Bed-making might seem worlds away from healing relational patterns, but there’s a common thread: it’s about choosing habits that empower rather than drain us. Whether it’s setting boundaries in your relationships or sticking to a morning ritual, it’s about lifting yourself up.

Of course, making your bed won’t magically solve all of life’s problems. But it’s a grounding practice—a small, steady anchor in a sometimes chaotic world. Like many forms of quiet strength, it doesn’t need applause. It just needs consistency.

So tomorrow morning, try it. Straighten your sheets, arrange your pillows, and give yourself that moment of calm. That one little act might be all it takes to start your day stronger, more centered, and more resilient.

Signs Your Marriage Is Still Worth Saving: Key Indicators of Hope and Healing

When you’re asking yourself whether your marriage is worth saving, you’re probably standing at a difficult juncture. You may feel caught in the same painful routines, disconnected from your partner, and uncertain if things can genuinely improve. The growing emotional distance and a shaky connection can leave you wondering if there’s anything still holding the relationship together.

Even the strongest relationships encounter moments of frustration or doubt, raising questions about whether the love you once shared still exists. While not every marriage is meant to last, sometimes walking away is indeed the healthiest decision. Still, other relationships may hold the potential for healing—if both partners are genuinely willing to invest in growth and reconnection.

The goal isn’t to force a fairy tale ending. It’s about assessing whether something meaningful still lies beneath the surface and if both individuals are prepared to make the necessary effort to move forward. Here are four clear signs that your marriage may still be worth saving.

One of the most overlooked truths in troubled marriages is that the path to healing doesn’t always begin with fixing the relationship as a whole. More often, it starts with each person taking personal responsibility and doing their inner emotional work. When one or both partners begin to reflect, regulate emotions, and evolve personally, it creates positive ripple effects in how they communicate and connect.

Building happiness independently and still choosing to invest in your relationship each day lays a powerful foundation for lasting transformation. Research indicates that individuals with higher levels of well-being tend to experience greater marital happiness over time, whereas those with lower emotional health are more likely to remain in unhappy marriages. Additionally, individual distress often spills over into the marriage, causing added strain.

Supporting this, a 2024 study focusing on distressed women in individual therapy found that “two out of three participants showed notable improvement in marital satisfaction and commitment.” This suggests that individual therapeutic approaches such as Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) can positively impact the relationship—even when only one partner undergoes treatment.

If both you and your spouse are open to acknowledging your emotional challenges and committed to working through them—whether that means managing stress, healing past wounds, or forming better habits—there’s a real possibility for your marriage to evolve. Growth may begin alone, but it opens the door for transformation together.

Another hopeful sign is a shared willingness to improve communication. Communication is essential in any relationship, yet as stress builds, even everyday conversations can turn into recurring conflicts. A major indicator that a marriage can be saved is when both people want to learn new, healthier ways of relating to each other.

A 2021 study published in BMC Women’s Health found that married women who learned effective communication skills experienced fewer marital conflicts, lower emotional burnout, and an improved overall quality of life. Although the study focused on women, the principle that good communication supports emotional health and reduces relationship strain is universal.

Clear, compassionate communication can make navigating conflict easier and increase emotional intimacy. The way you express yourself—and your willingness to listen—matters just as much as the content of what’s being said. If both partners recognize existing communication issues and are willing to take active steps to change, it’s often a sign that the relationship isn’t broken beyond repair, but rather in need of renovation.

Every relationship goes through its share of emotional wounds—instances of disappointment, pain, or disconnection. While such moments are difficult, they can also present opportunities for healing if both individuals are open to confronting the past and working through it. True healing happens when both people choose to move forward without sweeping things under the rug.

Forgiveness plays a vital role in this process. It isn’t merely about letting go of resentment—it also helps eliminate harmful behaviors and encourages couples to adopt healthier approaches. As researchers note, “forgiveness reduces harmful conflict behaviors and increases constructive efforts toward relationship building.”

Couples who choose forgiveness are more likely to communicate with empathy, break free from negative cycles, and show greater commitment to rebuilding their bond. But forgiveness only works when both people are fully engaged in healing and willing to hold themselves accountable. It should never be used to excuse ongoing harm or avoid difficult conversations.

When partners are prepared to revisit painful topics with honesty and empathy, and choose to show up differently—extending grace and learning from the past—it’s often a clear indicator that there’s still a strong foundation to build upon.

Making mistakes is inevitable in any relationship, but what sets healthy partnerships apart is how people respond when they mess up. A marriage can often be saved when both partners consistently own up to their behavior, apologize sincerely, and refrain from blaming the other.

Studies show that the timing and manner of an apology significantly influence how it’s received. Experts explain that apologies are most effective when they come after the hurt person has expressed their emotions and felt understood. Apologizing too quickly may feel dismissive, whereas waiting and truly listening allows for what researchers term “ripeness”—a point when the individual is more open to forgiveness.

As the research suggests, “when a partner is allowed to voice what hurt them and the other person shows real understanding,” it builds trust and makes the apology more credible. The wounded partner is also more likely to believe that the same mistake won’t happen again.

If both you and your spouse are willing to admit your faults and learn from them, it reflects the kind of emotional maturity and mutual respect that often means your marriage has a future.

Sometimes, being unsure about your marriage isn’t a sign of failure but an invitation to pause and reflect. When the path ahead feels uncertain—not a definitive yes or no—it might mean it’s time to reframe the question. Instead of asking “Should we stay together?” it may be more revealing to ask, “Are we both willing to put in the effort to build something better?”

Relationships are dynamic. As people grow and change, so do their needs and expectations. Rather than aiming to return to how things once were, couples may need to courageously envision what the relationship could become—with greater awareness and intention.

If you’re questioning whether to stay in your marriage, remember that uncertainty is not a final judgment. It can be a powerful opportunity to assess if growth—both personal and mutual—is still possible. Healing is rarely straightforward, but when both partners are committed to evolving, it might mark the start of something even more meaningful than what existed before.

Globalization and Marriage: A Double-Edged Transformation Across Societies

The influence of globalization on marriage has sparked wide-ranging debates, with perspectives varying significantly on whether its effects are detrimental or transformative. While critics argue that globalization contributes to the erosion of marital stability by reshaping societal values, inducing economic stress, and promoting non-traditional partnerships, proponents highlight its potential to enhance gender equality and expand options for family life. The topic remains highly nuanced, as the overall impact appears to vary depending on cultural, economic, and personal factors.

One key argument suggesting that globalization leads to reduced marital stability revolves around the disruption of traditional social values. As societies become more interconnected, long-standing beliefs about marriage, family roles, and personal relationships often face challenges. A study published by the International Journal of Novel Research and Development (IJNRD) supports this view, observing that “globalization can erode traditional family values and social norms, leading to changes in attitudes towards marriage and family life.” This shift may lead individuals to question the importance or relevance of formalized marriage, opting instead for alternative forms of relationships that align better with contemporary lifestyles.

In addition to changing values, globalization is also closely associated with growing economic pressure, which can impact marital relationships. Economic instability, including job insecurity and rising inequality, can increase tension within households and reduce the resilience of marital bonds. A study conducted by Lupine Publishers warns that “globalization can lead to increased economic inequality and job insecurity, potentially putting strain on relationships and marriage.” This financial stress may manifest in conflict over roles and responsibilities, ultimately weakening the institution of marriage for many couples across different economic backgrounds.

The emergence and growing acceptance of alternative relationship structures also contributes to a possible decline in traditional marriage. Globalization fosters cultural exchange and exposure to different lifestyles, including cohabitation and long-term partnerships without legal or religious recognition. These evolving norms may make conventional marriage less central in some societies. As TODAY.com highlights, “globalization can lead to the acceptance and prevalence of non-traditional relationship models, such as cohabitation, which may decrease the emphasis on marriage as a primary social institution.” In some communities, the once-standard expectation of marriage is now one of many possible paths individuals may choose for intimate partnerships.

Another factor often cited as influencing marital dynamics is the transformation of gender roles. As globalization accelerates, traditional expectations regarding men and women’s roles within a marriage are undergoing significant changes. Women, in particular, are increasingly engaging in the workforce, gaining access to education, and asserting their autonomy. While these developments can foster greater equality, they can also cause friction in households where more conventional gender norms persist. The United Nations comments on this shift, stating that “globalization can lead to changes in traditional gender roles and expectations, potentially impacting the dynamics within marriage and family life.” These changes may result in role renegotiations, and in some cases, conflict, particularly in societies where shifts in gender dynamics are met with resistance.

Yet, while globalization has been linked with marital strain and shifts in traditional norms, other scholars and analysts see it as a force for progress and diversification in family life. One of the most significant benefits observed is the increased autonomy of women. As societies modernize, women gain greater economic and social independence, which may lead to more fulfilling and equitable marriages. The United Nations highlights this positive development, noting that “globalization can empower women economically and socially, potentially leading to more equitable marriages and a greater focus on personal fulfillment within relationships.” These improvements in gender equity may contribute to stronger relationships based on mutual respect and shared goals, rather than dependence or obligation.

In line with this perspective is the growing diversity in family forms. Rather than adhering to a single template of marriage, individuals today have more flexibility to choose relationship models that best reflect their values and aspirations. This diversification allows people to structure their family lives in ways that feel most authentic to them. According to the Institute for Family Studies, “globalization can lead to a wider range of family structures and relationship models, allowing individuals to choose what best suits their needs and preferences.” From single-parent households to blended families and non-marital partnerships, the modern family now exists in many different forms, driven in part by the forces of globalization.

Another frequently mentioned benefit is the increased emphasis on personal growth and individual goals in marriage decisions. Globalization fosters broader educational and career opportunities, greater mobility, and exposure to various cultural ideals. These conditions empower individuals to reflect more deeply on what they want from marriage and life. Rather than marrying out of societal pressure, people are now more likely to make intentional and well-considered choices. As TODAY.com explains, “globalization can encourage individuals to prioritize their personal goals and values, potentially leading to more deliberate and fulfilling marriage choices.” This shift suggests that while fewer people may marry in traditional ways, those who do are more likely to be entering relationships grounded in compatibility and shared aspirations.

The overall conclusion, however, is that globalization’s impact on marriage cannot be understood through a one-size-fits-all lens. Instead, its effects vary greatly based on the surrounding cultural, social, and economic context. A study by Indiana University Bloomington encapsulates this perspective, stating that “globalization’s impact on marriage is multifaceted and depends on various factors, including cultural context, economic conditions, and individual preferences. While some argue that it undermines traditional marriage, others see it as a catalyst for change and the development of more diverse and equitable family forms.”

Ultimately, the relationship between globalization and marriage reflects the broader tensions of a world in flux. On the one hand, long-standing structures and expectations are being questioned or even dismantled, leading to feelings of uncertainty or instability for some. On the other, these very shifts create space for new models of partnership—ones that emphasize equality, autonomy, and authenticity. Whether globalization weakens or strengthens the institution of marriage may depend less on globalization itself and more on how societies choose to respond to the changes it brings.

Seven Psychological Traits That Define a Truly Fulfilling Relationship

A happy, deeply fulfilling relationship isn’t just built on shared playlists, similar movie preferences, or agreement on pizza toppings. While common interests may help spark a connection, the core of a lasting, joyful partnership lies in much deeper qualities—those rooted in emotional intelligence and psychological behaviors that foster true intimacy and growth. Here are seven specific behaviors, backed by psychology, that signal you’ve found a partner capable of bringing enduring happiness.

First, she actively supports your personal growth. When a woman encourages you to take chances, chase your dreams, and better yourself—whether by returning to school, exploring a new hobby, or pursuing a career move—she’s showing more than just surface-level support. She believes in your capabilities and nudges you forward without judgment or hesitation. This attitude reflects Carl Rogers’s principle of unconditional positive regard. Rogers emphasized that individuals thrive when they are valued and accepted as they are. A partner who offers this kind of emotional environment allows you to flourish, offering a safe space where you’re not afraid to fail or succeed. This unconditional support becomes a key driver of self-growth and happiness.

Second, she communicates openly, even about uncomfortable or difficult subjects. If you’ve ever felt silenced or uneasy in a previous relationship, you know how essential open dialogue can be. A woman who doesn’t shy away from discussing conflicts or sharing her concerns does more than maintain peace—she strengthens the relationship. She speaks with empathy and honesty, making sure both partners are understood. This type of communication is a pillar of stability, according to psychologist John Gottman. Known for his research into marital success, Gottman found that couples who handle conflict with calm, clear communication are more likely to last. “Instead of bottling things up or sweeping issues under the rug,” a woman who promotes open conversation ensures problems are resolved early, protecting the relationship from deeper damage.

Third, she provides emotional support without rushing to judge. Relationships naturally come with emotional highs and lows. A woman who remains by your side through both extremes—whether you’re celebrating a win or managing stress—adds stability. She listens patiently, giving you space to express feelings without jumping to criticism. This behavior aligns with the concept of secure attachment, introduced by John Bowlby and expanded by Mary Ainsworth. In this model, emotional safety is key. Both partners feel they can be themselves without fear of rejection. A woman who creates this security becomes the anchor in a storm, helping you feel safe enough to be vulnerable.

Fourth, she fosters and reciprocates trust. One of the most telling signs of a meaningful relationship is mutual trust. She respects your boundaries, believes in your integrity, and avoids suspicion and doubt. In turn, she is transparent about her own life, building a dynamic free of secrecy. This behavior reflects the psychological principle of reciprocal self-disclosure. Based on Social Penetration Theory by Irwin Altman and Dalmas Taylor, this idea explains how trust deepens through gradually revealing one’s inner thoughts and emotions. When she shares her fears, goals, or uncertainties, you’re more likely to do the same, creating a strong bond built on vulnerability and respect.

Fifth, she demonstrates empathy and compassion. Empathy isn’t simply acknowledging another’s feelings—it’s fully understanding them. A woman who feels joy when you succeed and offers comfort when you’re down strengthens your emotional connection. She doesn’t dismiss your feelings; she tries to feel them with you. This behavior aligns with “compassionate love,” a concept emphasized in positive psychology. Psychologist Barbara Fredrickson has written about the importance of shared positive emotions and caring deeply about your partner’s well-being. When empathy and compassion are present, both individuals feel seen, understood, and supported in meaningful ways.

Sixth, she invests in shared experiences. A partner who creates memories with you—through road trips, hobbies, or even simple nights at home—builds a foundation that weathers future challenges. These moments create a shared story, one that brings laughter, resilience, and closeness. Studies in positive psychology highlight how engaging in joyful activities as a couple increases relationship satisfaction. It’s not just about spending time together, but doing so with a sense of exploration and fun. Whether it’s trying a new restaurant, learning to cook a new dish, or attending an unfamiliar event, the spirit of togetherness deepens emotional bonds.

Seventh, she embraces humor and maintains a positive attitude. A good sense of humor isn’t just fun—it’s psychologically powerful. It shows emotional flexibility, intelligence, and an ability to de-escalate tension. Life brings stress, but a woman who can lighten the mood and share laughter can help both of you manage tough times. This doesn’t mean she’s constantly joking or doesn’t take life seriously. Instead, she introduces levity at the right moments, offering emotional relief. Neuroscientist Robert Provine’s research confirms that laughter releases endorphins, enhancing mood and decreasing stress. In relationships, humor can prevent arguments from escalating, encourage problem-solving, and create a relaxed atmosphere where both partners feel free to be themselves.

Putting all these traits together paints a clear picture. No one is perfect, and it’s unrealistic to expect any partner to exhibit every ideal quality at all times. Still, when these key behaviors—support for personal growth, clear communication, emotional availability, mutual trust, empathy, shared experiences, and humor—are present, the relationship gains the strength and depth needed for long-term happiness. These psychological pillars are not only signs of a good partner, but a roadmap to building a partnership that thrives.

What truly matters is that the core ingredients are present.You don’t need a flawless partner. Instead, focus on how both of you show up for each other. It’s not just about what someone brings to your life, but how you grow in response. Healthy relationships are built when both people engage equally, mirroring each other’s compassion, trust, and joy.

In the end, the happiest relationship of your life isn’t some far-off fantasy. It’s built step by step, through small acts of encouragement, moments of vulnerability, and shared laughter. “So, if you notice that special someone cheering you on, meeting you halfway in communication, helping you grow, and laughing with you through life’s inevitable chaos—consider yourself incredibly lucky. You just might have found the relationship that will bring the deepest joy and fulfillment to your life.”

Gratitude’s Hidden Power: How Thankfulness May Heal Us at the Cellular Level

Gratitude is widely praised in positive psychology as a life-enhancing practice, known for shifting our mindset and boosting well-being. However, new research indicates its impact may reach much deeper—possibly reshaping the very makeup of our cellular memory and fostering healing not just mentally, but physically.

We tend to think of gratitude as a tool to improve attitude or mental health. But what if its influence extends into the biological foundation of who we are? Scientists are now exploring the idea that gratitude not only helps reframe our experiences but may also change how our bodies store and process those experiences at the cellular level.

We live through stories. The ways we narrate our lives determine not only how we remember the past but also how we anticipate the future. In the face of hardship, these internal narratives can either lift us up or hold us down. Gratitude plays a crucial role in reshaping these personal stories. This shift goes far beyond a fleeting positive thought. It alters how memories are embedded, recorded, and ultimately woven into our identity. Practicing gratitude prompts a shift in attention—from what’s missing to what is present—causing a mental realignment that resonates throughout our psychological and biological systems.

Traditionally, memory is linked to pathways in the brain, but new findings challenge this limited view. A more complex picture is forming, one in which memory may also exist throughout the body, embedded in individual cells. This developing perspective aligns with insights from trauma research, which observes that physical bodies store the imprint of traumatic experiences—a view captured in the phrase, “the body keeps the score.”

If traumatic memories are held in the body, then could uplifting emotions, like gratitude, also become part of our cellular memory? This is the heart of what makes gratitude so compelling from a healing perspective.

Gratitude may serve as a method of cellular reprogramming. As we intentionally practice thankfulness, we may be rewriting the biological data stored within our cells. This process is connected to a concept called epigenetics, which studies how behavior and environment influence the way genes are expressed.Epigenetic changes are stored in cells in a way that facilitates rapid adaptation to environmental changes.. These adaptations create what scientists refer to as “epigenetic memory,” which functions like a biological journal of our environmental and emotional history.

When we repeatedly experience gratitude, it induces consistent positive emotional states that activate specific biochemical processes. Studies reveal that gratitude triggers brain regions tied to morality, reward systems, and social fairness. These areas release chemicals like dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin—known not just for elevating mood but for their ability to affect how our cells function throughout the body. In this way, consistent gratitude could form positive cellular memories that balance out past stress responses. Through intentional gratitude, we may quite literally be encoding new information into the epigenome—an archive of our life experiences stored at the cellular level.

Some researchers also highlight the special role of the heart. More than a metaphor for emotion, the heart houses about 40,000 sensory neurites—nerve cells that can encode and transmit information. Often called the “heart-brain,” this system appears to play a unique role in our biological response to gratitude.

This discovery supports why heart-focused gratitude exercises, like those developed by the HeartMath Institute, have proven especially effective in reducing anxiety and aiding recovery. “When we focus on feeling gratitude in the heart area, we may be directly influencing this ‘intracardiac nervous system’ and its ability to store and transmit information throughout the body” .

The implications of this knowledge are profound. Rather than simply thinking grateful thoughts, one can harness gratitude as a healing tool by engaging in intentional and embodied practices. For example, “feel the sensation of appreciation in your body, particularly in your heart area. Notice where gratitude creates physical sensations of warmth, expansion, or relaxation.” This approach transforms gratitude into a full-body experience, anchoring it more deeply into both emotion and physiology.

Another method involves rewriting our own stories through a lens of thankfulness. This is called narrative reconstruction—viewing painful events from a perspective of growth and strength. When you ask how adversity shaped you for the better, it provides an opportunity to create “new cellular memories in areas holding physical tension or dysfunction.”

Express gratitude toward one’s own body—especially parts that are unwell or in pain. This simple act may create fresh positive cellular imprints that replace negative, stress-laden ones. As the piece puts it, “express appreciation for your body’s functions and capabilities, particularly those parts experiencing illness or pain.”

Crucially, these changes don’t depend on long or dramatic rituals. Consistency is more powerful than intensity. The article notes, “Brief daily gratitude practices create more sustained biochemical changes than occasional intense sessions. Even three minutes daily can shift your cellular responses over time.”

Science supports several mechanisms through which gratitude might produce these effects. One of the most striking findings in the field of epigenetics is that epigenetic memory can be inherited. This means your gratitude practice may not just benefit you—it could influence your descendants as well.

Additionally, recent studies show that memory isn’t solely stored in the brain’s synapses. Instead, the peripheral nervous system—which stretches through the body—can serve as a memory backup. Gratitude may more easily tap into and revise these widespread memory systems than purely intellectual approaches.

Perhaps most provocatively, cells across the body seem capable of remembering by encoding and storing experience-based information. Gratitude activates a full-body experience that could be influencing this complex memory system. As such, healing may not be top-down—from the brain to the body—but also inside out, from the cell to the system.

Ultimately, the intersection of gratitude science and cellular biology introduces a groundbreaking approach to wellness. We often think of gratitude as a fleeting feeling or attitude adjustment, but it might be far more than that. As the article concludes, “When we cultivate gratitude, we’re not simply adopting a positive attitude—we’re potentially rewriting information stored within our cells, creating conditions for transformation at the most fundamental biological level.”

This research reframes our understanding of healing, showing that deep change can come not only from mental shifts but also from cellular evolution. In gratitude, we may have one of the most accessible and profound tools for rewriting the way our bodies remember—and the way we heal.

Eight Countries That Make Work-Life Balance a Way of Life

Sometimes it seems like we’re so consumed by work that we forget what it means to really live.

I’ve definitely experienced it myself—managing several tasks, logging countless hours, and suddenly realizing it had been far too long since I’d taken an actual break.

It’s not surprising that many of us fantasize about relocating to a place where the work-life balance is healthier—where you can fulfill your professional duties without feeling chained to your desk.

That’s what we’re focusing on at DM News today: eight nations that make it easier to work less, enjoy life more, and embrace a lifestyle that prioritizes personal well-being.

Let’s explore.

Denmark

I first came across Denmark’s famous work-life balance through a friend who accepted a teaching position in Copenhagen.

She often joked that for the first time, she understood what it meant to have “free time” that was truly her own.

Danish workplaces typically support flexible hours—some employees begin early and leave early, while others opt for later shifts if that suits them better.

According to the World Economic Forum, Denmark ranks highest globally for work-life balance.

Most Danes dedicate around two-thirds of their day—roughly 16 hours—to eating, sleeping, and enjoying leisure activities.

This approach is rooted in a national philosophy known as “hygge,” centered around comfort, simplicity, and savoring life’s small joys.

Combined with progressive parental leave and an emphasis on family life, it’s easy to see why stress is comparatively low.

This balance extends beyond work. People in Denmark take time to enjoy a coffee or relax at a park instead of racing from one task to the next.

If you’re used to a hectic lifestyle, adopting the Danish mindset could transform how you view your career.

Netherlands

The Netherlands is widely known for its bicycle culture, but another key trait stands out: it champions part-time employment.

Many Dutch workers hold part-time roles yet still earn enough for a comfortable lifestyle.

One study revealed that Dutch employees average just 32.2 working hours per week—the shortest in Europe.

And yet, they maintain high productivity levels. It’s not about reducing effort—it’s about making the most of your work hours and reserving time for life outside the job.

When I attended a marketing conference in Amsterdam, I noticed that offices and stores closed at sensible times.

A colleague there told me, “We believe in working to live, not living to work.” That mindset explains why the Netherlands ranks high in life satisfaction.

You won’t hear people boasting about all-nighters. Instead, efficiency and balance are what matter.

It’s a smart approach for those looking to enjoy life while still advancing professionally.

Norway

Norway offers more than just breathtaking landscapes—it also promotes a culture that genuinely values personal time.

If you’ve met Norwegians, you’ve likely seen how laid-back they are about scheduling, thanks in part to their shorter workweeks.

The average workweek is around 37.5 hours, and employees typically receive five weeks of paid vacation annually.

That’s what real downtime looks like—no emails from the beach or guilt over time away from your desk.

What stands out is the high level of trust in workplaces. Employees are given autonomy, which cultivates loyalty and responsibility.

When people feel appreciated and are allowed to recharge, they tend to be more efficient during work hours.

It’s a win for both workers and businesses.

Germany

Germany may be known for its precision and discipline, but it also respects the boundary between work and personal life.

In many German workplaces, once your workday ends, you’re not expected to respond to messages or calls.

That might seem unusual for those accustomed to constant phone alerts from colleagues or clients.

Additionally, German labor laws protect the right to rest. By law, full-time employees are entitled to at least 24 days of paid vacation annually, along with strict limits on working hours.

Living in a country where free time is seen as essential to well-being can be a game-changer.

If you’ve ever lounged in a German beer garden on a sunny afternoon, you’ve probably witnessed how they truly embrace downtime.

Sweden

The Swedish term “lagom” roughly means “just enough,” and it influences everything from food servings to work routines.

Some Swedish companies even experimented with a six-hour workday in recent years.

Though it wasn’t widely implemented, the experiment sparked conversation about whether more hours actually lead to better results.

During my visit to Stockholm, I observed that coffee breaks—or “fika”—are almost sacred. Workers are encouraged to pause, socialize, and refresh themselves during the day.

It’s more than just a break—it’s a reflection of Sweden’s belief in meaningful connection and mental well-being.

If taking a short coffee break has ever made you feel guilty, Sweden’s culture might offer a refreshing change.

France

France’s 35-hour workweek, introduced in the early 2000s, helped shape a national attitude that values leisure.

The French take pride in enjoying good meals, conversations, and extended time off.

Stroll through Paris in the late afternoon, and you’ll find cafés bustling with people already off the clock or taking long breaks.

When I studied in Lyon one summer, businesses would often shut down for a couple of hours mid-day.

Lunch was a serious affair, and this rhythm was widely accepted as part of life.

Even though larger companies may operate more flexibly now, the overall ethos remains one of not letting work dominate every waking hour.

The idea that life should be relished—not rushed—is deeply ingrained in French culture and supported by labor laws.

Australia

Australia’s easygoing vibe extends to its approach to employment, with a standard full-time workweek of about 38 hours.

But what’s even more telling is how seriously Australians take their time off.

While working remotely with an Australian team during my marketing career, it was standard practice to unplug completely while on leave.

One of our managers even recommended deleting email apps from our phones during vacations.

Australians also have access to flexible arrangements such as extended unpaid leave for travel, study, or personal reasons.

That kind of flexibility reflects a national understanding that people are more than just their job titles.

New Zealand

New Zealand is another country embracing the idea that work should fit around life—not the other way around.

Many Kiwis take “gap years” or extended time off to travel and explore themselves.

Some companies have even tried four-day workweeks, finding that shorter schedules can improve both productivity and employee happiness.

Though it’s not standard everywhere, it signals an openness to rethink traditional work models.

The country’s natural beauty, from Queenstown to Fiordland, encourages people to disconnect and enjoy their surroundings.

Even in cities like Auckland, it’s common to see people leaving work in time to watch the sunset.

You get the impression that New Zealanders aim to live well every day, not just on weekends.

In Conclusion

A well-balanced life isn’t a fantasy in these eight countries—it’s part of the norm. They show that it’s possible to work efficiently while still having time to rest and enjoy life.

Each country has its own unique lifestyle, but they all embrace the belief that work is just one part of a fulfilling existence.

Relocating may not be realistic for everyone, but we can still take inspiration from these examples: respect your personal time, create boundaries, and remember that you’re not a machine.

As we always say at DM News, staying informed and inspired starts with recognizing that a “less work, more life” philosophy isn’t just possible—it’s already real elsewhere.

Seven Behaviors That Define the Happiest Relationship of Your Life

When it comes to love, there’s a big difference between settling for any relationship and choosing the one that brings genuine happiness. Contrary to the ideals we often see in films, true joy in a relationship doesn’t come from grand gestures or dramatic romance. Instead, it’s found in the quiet, consistent actions of a partner who understands what it means to truly care.

Psychology identifies seven behaviors that are essential for a fulfilling relationship. When a man exhibits these traits regularly, chances are you’ve found someone who can lead you into the happiest chapter of your romantic life.

Let’s explore these seven crucial behaviors that can shape a deeply rewarding partnership.

He expresses genuine empathy

Empathy isn’t just a trendy concept—it’s the foundation of emotional connection in any meaningful relationship. It’s not simply about acknowledging your emotions; rather, it’s about your partner stepping into your shoes and feeling what you feel. This depth of understanding builds a powerful emotional bond.

A man who practices true empathy will not only understand your experiences but will also honor your emotions. That level of consideration helps you feel validated and supported. When both people show this mutual respect, they create a relationship that thrives.

Importantly, empathy is most valuable in times of difficulty, not just joy. If you’ve found a man who consistently empathizes during both your highs and lows, you’re already closer to experiencing the most fulfilling relationship of your life.

He prioritizes communication

Open and honest communication is the lifeline of any healthy relationship. From personal experience, I’ve seen that conflicts can be constructive if handled through dialogue. In one relationship, after a serious disagreement, my partner and I chose to talk it out instead of letting the issue linger. We shared our feelings, truly listened, and arrived at a resolution.

This process not only solved the immediate issue but also deepened our connection. Good communication isn’t about always agreeing—it’s about addressing differences openly and maturely.

When your partner is willing to communicate even during rough times, the relationship becomes more resilient and capable of lasting happiness.

He embraces your flaws

Have you ever felt like you couldn’t show your true self in a relationship? That feeling can be exhausting and unsustainable. Real happiness starts when you’re accepted for who you are—quirks, flaws, and all.

In my own life, the most satisfying relationships were those in which both partners stopped trying to change each other. Instead, they cherished each other’s individuality.

Psychologist Carl Jung once said, “The most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely.” That truth applies to relationships too. When your partner accepts you fully, it creates a safe and loving space.

A man who loves you as you are—without trying to mold you into someone else—can bring you the happiest relationship you’ll ever experience. True love lies not in finding perfection but in embracing imperfection wholeheartedly.

He respects your boundaries

A truly healthy relationship requires mutual respect, especially when it comes to personal boundaries. It’s not just about knowing your partner’s limits but also honoring them consistently.

According to research published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, couples who respect each other’s boundaries tend to report higher satisfaction in their relationships. They face fewer conflicts and feel more secure together.

In everyday life, this might look like your partner recognizing your need for alone time or never pressuring you to share something you’re not ready to discuss. Boundaries are not walls—they are guidelines that foster mutual respect and emotional safety.

If your man understands and respects your personal space and emotional needs, it’s a strong indication that your relationship is on the path to lasting happiness.

He shows appreciation

Feeling valued is a basic human need. In my own experience, when appreciation is present, even tough times become more bearable. Being acknowledged makes people feel seen and cherished.

Appreciation means expressing gratitude, recognizing your partner’s efforts, and letting them know they matter. Renowned psychologist William James put it well: “The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.”

When your partner routinely thanks you, acknowledges your work, or notices the small things you do, it transforms the relationship. It turns everyday life into something meaningful and warm.

If your partner never misses a chance to show gratitude, you’re in the presence of someone who can give you the happiest relationship of your life.

He encourages your independence

Independence within a relationship might seem contradictory, but it’s vital. Many believe that love requires sacrificing freedom—but real love respects it.

Healthy relationships allow both partners to maintain their individuality. You should be free to pursue your interests, dreams, and passions, even within a committed partnership.

Psychologist Erich Fromm wisely said, “Love is union with somebody, or something, outside oneself, under the condition of retaining the separateness and integrity of one’s own self.”

When a man supports your independence, it shows trust and emotional maturity. He understands that your identity doesn’t have to dissolve in the relationship—instead, it can thrive.

Having a partner who encourages your personal growth and respects your autonomy is a sign of a truly happy and supportive relationship.

He’s consistent

While surprises and romantic gestures have their place, the true mark of a dependable partner is consistency. It’s the steady presence and reliability that build lasting trust.

Psychologist Albert Bandura once said, “People with high assurance in their capabilities approach difficult tasks as challenges to be mastered rather than as threats to be avoided.” A consistent man applies this attitude to relationships. You can count on him, not just when things are easy, but also when challenges arise.

This reliability reinforces trust, and trust is the backbone of any joyful relationship. A consistent partner proves through actions—not just words—that he’s committed and dependable.

Final thoughts

At their core, human relationships are intricate but often grounded in simple principles. These seven behaviors may seem straightforward, but together, they hold the power to define a truly fulfilling relationship.

Of course, no one is perfect. The goal isn’t to find a man who flawlessly exhibits these traits every day, but rather someone who strives to live by them consistently. Effort and intention make all the difference.

Ultimately, the happiest relationship of your life is not only about what your partner brings to the table—it’s about what you both build together. Love, respect, and mutual understanding form the foundation of a joyful, lasting partnership.

So as you navigate love and life, keep these seven behaviors in mind. They’re not just signs of a good relationship—they’re the roadmap to the happiest one of all.

At 100, Ralph Young Reflects on a Life of Hard Work, Resilience, and Love

Ralph Young, now a centenarian, has lived through war, personal loss, and major world changes — and still offers wisdom about leading a long and fulfilling life, especially when faced with hardships or surprises.

Born and raised in Kentucky, Young was the youngest of 11 siblings. His childhood home lacked basic utilities like electricity and running water. However, the family had a garden and preserved their own food, which they sold in their small community of Greasy Ridge. Life was tough, but it was a foundation that built resilience in him from a young age.

At just 10 years old, Young found himself taking on major responsibilities. His mother suffered a stroke that left her with limited mobility, and his father handed him the task of handling the household laundry and meals. He describes this as his first job, which required carrying heavy loads of laundry and washing clothes by hand in a nearby spring.

Despite the demands, Young remembers those times fondly because they brought him closer to his mother. “With all that time together, my mother and I got close,” he recalled.

In 1943, when Young was 18, he made a pivotal decision to enlist in the U.S. Navy, choosing to sign up before receiving a draft notice. His service took him into the heart of World War II. Saying goodbye to his family was a moment he still remembers vividly. “I remember my mom sitting on the front porch, tears streaming down her cheeks,” he told Dayton Daily News. “She told me, ‘Everything is going to be alright, Ralph.’ I knew she was going to watch over me.”

Sadly, while Young was overseas serving his country, his mother passed away. It was a deeply emotional loss for someone who had shared such a close bond with her.

After the war ended, Young was discharged from the Navy in 1946. The following year, he returned home and married Charlotte, his first wife. Together, they had three children and built a life that took them on journeys far from the humble beginnings of Greasy Ridge.

By the mid-1950s, global electrification efforts were ramping up, and the engineering company Young worked for needed someone to lead a critical international project. The assignment was to help develop a power system in Thailand, and Young saw it as a great adventure. He wasn’t the only one enthusiastic about the move. “Charlotte was as eager to go as I was,” he said.

The family spent several years living in Asia, including time in Indonesia due to another job posting. Even after returning to the United States, Young’s career kept him on the move, taking him to countries like Saudi Arabia and Iran. He remained active in his profession until he officially retired at the age of 70.

In 2000, Charlotte began showing signs of serious illness. She was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease, and Young stayed by her side until she passed away in 2006, six years after her diagnosis. Her death was a heavy blow, and Young was 81 at the time.

The loss led him into a period of reflection and deep sorrow. He questioned whether life held anything more for him. But rather than giving in to grief, he found strength through faith and purpose. “Always have something to do. That’s what has helped me,” he shared. “My faith in God and my willingness to conquer anything I started.”

His life took an unexpected but joyful turn when he reconnected with a woman named Janice. They had known each other four decades earlier. After hearing about Charlotte’s passing, Janice reached out to offer comfort. “I understand,” she wrote — she had lost her husband just five months before Charlotte’s death.

That simple message reopened a meaningful connection. Janice eventually invited Young to join her for Christmas. From there, the two started spending more time together and having frequent conversations. Their bond deepened, and it wasn’t long before they chose to marry and start a new chapter of life together.

Reflecting on his extraordinary journey, Young said, “You can do a lot of things you don’t think you can do.”

From a childhood spent cooking and washing laundry in rural Kentucky to traveling the world as an engineer, from losing his mother while at war to losing his wife to Alzheimer’s, Ralph Young’s century of life is a testament to endurance, optimism, and the human ability to rebuild. Through every twist and turn, he’s lived by the principle of staying active, nurturing faith, and embracing every new opportunity.

Harvard-Trained Expert Laurie Santos Shares Three Daily Habits Proven to Boost Happiness

Many people misjudge what will truly bring them happiness, according to Laurie Santos, a happiness expert who trained at Harvard University. While it’s common to believe that a promotion or a higher salary will lead to joy and a sense of fulfillment, Santos argues that these assumptions can be misleading. In some cases, such as when someone is struggling to cover basic expenses like rent, financial gains may indeed offer relief. However, once basic needs are met, happiness is more likely to be sustained through consistent, small daily habits that promote health and connection, she explained during a live taping of the interview series “Last Meal with Tom Nash” at SXSW on March 12.

Santos, who is also a psychology professor at Yale University, emphasized that sacrificing sleep, exercise, or time with loved ones in pursuit of professional or financial goals can end up compromising one’s happiness. In contrast, maintaining a focus on health, rest, and relationships offers a more effective and lasting return on emotional well-being. “Material possessions, fame, professional accolades at work … We think those are going to be the stuff that moves the needle,” Santos said. “[But] we’re often pursuing that stuff at opportunity cost of the stuff that really matters.”

Her perspective aligns with findings from a 2022 meta-analysis published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, which concluded that goals centered on one’s social, emotional, and physical health tend to contribute more positively to well-being than those based on external validation or the approval of others.

Santos outlined three straightforward and science-backed habits that can help people feel happier on a daily basis:

Keeping a Gratitude Journal

One of the most effective ways to enhance happiness is through practicing gratitude. Writing down things you’re thankful for—whether it’s a stable home, a strong relationship, or a hobby that brings you joy—has been shown to elevate both emotional and physical well-being. According to Santos, the benefits of this habit increase over time. In her free online course “The Science of Well-Being for Teens,” which launched in 2023, she said, “The longer you keep a gratitude journal, the more of a difference you’ll notice.”

Supporting this idea, a 2020 study by psychologists from the University of Twente and Eastern Washington University found that practicing gratitude for just 15 minutes a day, five days a week over six weeks can significantly improve mental wellness. Additional research shows that gratitude practices can lower stress levels, sharpen mental clarity, and enhance the quality of relationships, sleep, and overall mental health.

While journaling is one option, it’s not the only way to experience the benefits of gratitude. Santos and other experts note that alternative methods—such as writing thank you notes, acknowledging small acts of kindness from strangers, or reflecting on when someone has treated you kindly—can offer similar advantages. People can choose the approach that best suits their preferences and lifestyle.

Improving Sleep—Even Slightly

Getting more sleep is another critical component of happiness and mental health, and even small increases can make a big difference. “I actually think we could solve most of the mental health in college age students and high school students if we just forced [them] to get more sleep,” Santos said in her online course.

Research has consistently demonstrated that sleeping at least seven hours per night can boost cognitive function, enhance mood, and reduce the risk of chronic conditions like heart disease and dementia. To help people improve the quality of their rest, Santos recommends using a traditional alarm clock and leaving phones in another room while sleeping. “I know there’s stuff to do … but if you can just get the right amount of shut eye, you really will improve your mental health much more than you expect,” she said.

The importance of adequate rest is echoed by longevity specialist Poonam Desai, who also spoke to CNBC Make It. “It’s something we do every single day. It’s free. You have an opportunity to optimize it every single day,” Desai said, emphasizing that sleep is the number one most effective way to maintain long-term physical health.

Connecting in Real Time with Others

Santos also stresses the importance of real-time social interaction. While digital communication through social media and texting allows for easy contact with people near and far, it doesn’t provide the same mental uplift as engaging with others in person or in real-time conversations. Speaking on the “Huberman Lab” podcast in December 2024, Santos explained that real-life social experiences have a more meaningful impact on happiness.

“The two things that predict whether or not you’re happy … is how much time you spend with friends and family members, and how much time you’re just physically around other people,” Santos said.

This includes brief and seemingly minor interactions. Even talking with your local barista during a coffee run can elevate your mood, regardless of whether you consider yourself introverted or extroverted. Santos explained that these small connections can significantly influence our emotional state. “It gives you a sense that your life is going better,” she said. “You feel less lonely. [Being social] has all these positive outcomes that we don’t expect.”

Taken together, Santos’ guidance encourages a shift in how people think about the pursuit of happiness. Instead of chasing larger, often external achievements—like promotions or financial success—people can benefit more from smaller, consistent efforts that enhance physical, mental, and social well-being. These daily habits may not be glamorous or headline-making, but they are deeply effective at fostering a lasting sense of happiness.

Santos’ insights serve as a reminder that happiness often lies in what we overlook. While ambition and hard work can be valuable, they shouldn’t come at the cost of one’s health, rest, or relationships. By practicing gratitude, prioritizing quality sleep, and fostering real-life connections, people can build a foundation for sustained happiness—without waiting for a major life event to bring it.

The True Path to Happiness: Beyond Material Wealth

Happiness is not a destination but a state of being—something experienced rather than achieved through material gains. When happiness is tied to acquiring possessions, it becomes an unattainable goal, as there will always be something more to want. Instead, happiness stems from meaningful experiences and connections, not just wealth or status.

The Fleeting Nature of Material Happiness

The American Dream often equates success with material possessions, but happiness derived from ownership is temporary. Just as a new car loses value the moment it leaves the dealership, the excitement of new possessions fades over time. In contrast, experiences—such as travel, spending time with loved ones, or enjoying simple pleasures—create lasting fulfillment.

If financial pursuits lead to stress and overextension, they can turn the American Dream into a nightmare rather than a source of joy. Instead, shared moments, such as road trips with loved ones, deep conversations, or playing with children, add true value to life.

What Research Says About Happiness

Studies on happiness and well-being over the past five decades have identified key factors that contribute to lasting contentment. While no universal formula exists, research highlights five essential elements that foster happiness:

1️⃣ Relationships and Social Bonds

  • Human beings thrive on connections.
  • Romantic relationships are not the only source of happiness—supportive friendships are just as vital.

2️⃣ Acts of Kindness and Generosity

  • Helping others—whether through volunteering, donations, or thoughtful gestures—creates an internal sense of joy.
  • Simply planning to help others can generate a boost in happiness.

3️⃣ Gratitude and Appreciating Abundance

  • Acknowledging and appreciating what one already has fosters contentment.
  • A focus on scarcity breeds resentment, envy, and discontent.

4️⃣ Purpose and Meaning in Life

  • Contributing to something greater than oneself instills a deeper sense of fulfillment.
  • Finding meaning in work, relationships, or passions helps cultivate lasting happiness.

5️⃣ Healthy Lifestyle Choices

  • Exercise, even a daily walk, has been proven to reduce depression.
  • Yoga, meditation, and mindfulness alleviate stress and promote well-being.
  • Quality sleep is crucial—poor sleep habits increase stress, weaken immunity, and contribute to health risks.

Misconceptions About Happiness

A major myth about happiness is the belief that it can be bought or reached as a final goal. Research, including the World Happiness Report, contradicts this notion.

🔹 Wealth ≠ Happiness: Richer nations do not always rank highest in happiness.

🔹 Simple Living, Greater Joy: Many people in less affluent countries report greater happiness due to stronger social bonds and less material fixation.

🔹 Core Happiness Factors: The World Happiness Report identifies five key factors for happiness:

  • Caring for and sharing with others
  • Sharing meals with family and friends
  • Avoiding loneliness through communal living
  • Engaging in altruistic and community-driven activities
  • Maintaining social connections, especially for young adults

Final Thoughts

True, lasting happiness is not found in possessions but in experiences, relationships, and a sense of purpose. A fulfilling life is shaped by connections, gratitude, kindness, and well-being—not by the relentless pursuit of material wealth.

The Viral ‘Let Them’ Theory: A Psychological Guide to Letting Go

In a world that often feels overwhelming and beyond our control, a transformative psychological approach has gained widespread attention. Known as the “Let Them” theory, this concept was popularized by Mel Robbins in 2024 and has since gone viral, garnering over 15 million views. The theory advocates for a radical shift in perspective, urging individuals to relinquish their attempts to control others and instead focus on their own reactions and emotional well-being. While its premise is simple, the psychological foundations and practical applications of “Let Them” are deeply nuanced.

Psychological Origins and Key Concepts

At its core, the “Let Them” theory is rooted in Julian B. Rotter’s locus of control theory, which was first introduced in the 1950s. This theory distinguishes between an external and internal locus of control, explaining how individuals perceive their influence over life events. Those with an external locus believe their lives are shaped by external factors, while those with an internal locus feel a sense of agency over their outcomes. The “Let Them” philosophy encourages shifting toward an internal locus, fostering a mindset that prioritizes self-regulation over external control.

Additionally, the theory aligns with Buddhist principles of non-attachment, which emphasize letting go of the need to control outcomes as a pathway to inner peace. It also intersects with attachment theory in psychology, particularly in relation to individuals with anxious attachment styles. People with this attachment type often seek control as a means of securing emotional stability. The “Let Them” theory presents an alternative approach, promoting security through acceptance and detachment rather than control.

The philosophy behind “Let Them” also echoes Toltec wisdom, which teaches the importance of releasing attachments “with love and without fear.” This perspective encourages individuals to cultivate emotional and spiritual freedom by accepting what they cannot change.

Why the “Let Them” Theory Resonates Today

The growing popularity of this concept can be attributed to the uncertainty that characterizes modern life. From global pandemics and climate crises to economic instability and political turmoil, individuals are repeatedly confronted with the realization that control is often an illusion. The “Let Them” theory offers a way to cope with this reality, providing a psychological framework that aligns with contemporary movements toward mindfulness and mental well-being.

By adopting this mindset, people can reduce anxiety and stress, both of which are frequentlyexacerbated by futile attempts to control external circumstances. The theory offers an empowering alternative: rather than expending energy trying to change others, individuals can redirect their focus toward self-improvement, self-regulation, and personal fulfillment.

Psychological Benefits of Letting Go

One of the primary psychological advantages of embracing the “Let Them” approach is the immediate reduction of internal conflict. Resistance to reality often results in distress, leading individuals to ruminate on thoughts such as “This shouldn’t be happening.” Instead, the “Let Them” theory encourages a shift in perspective, prompting individuals to ask, “This is happening—now what?” or “How can I best respond to this reality?”

This mental reframing aligns with principles from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), a form of psychotherapy that emphasizes radical acceptance. ACT helps individuals reduce psychological stress by shifting their focus from controlling external circumstances to developing a healthier relationship with their thoughts and emotions. Studies show that acceptance-based treatment approaches can significantly reduce stress and anxiety, improving overall mental well-being.

In relationships, adopting a “Let Them” mindset can decrease conflict and foster mutual respect. Many interpersonal struggles stem from an attempt to control or change others. By stepping back and allowing people to make their own choices, relationships can become healthier and more balanced.

Research suggests that autonomy is a key factor in maintaining strong relationships. When people feel trusted and respected, they are more likely to engage in self-directed change rather than responding with defensiveness. Supporting a partner, friend, or family member’s autonomy does not equate to endorsing their decisions; rather, it allows space for voluntary growth and self-discovery.

This shift in dynamics can enhance closeness and open communication. The absence of pressure reduces resistance, creating a more positive environment for constructive conversations. Psychological research on motivation confirms that when autonomy is supported rather than threatened, individuals become more receptive to influence rather than less.

In her 2024 book, Robbins highlights this concept by emphasizing that “Let Them” ultimately redirects attention toward what one can control: themselves. She encourages individuals to take this further by adopting a follow-up phrase: “Let me.” This means that after choosing to let others act as they wish, individuals should ask themselves, “Let me decide what I will do next, given the present reality.”

Potential Risks and Misinterpretations

While the “Let Them” theory offers valuable psychological insights, it is not without its potential pitfalls. One common misinterpretation is that letting go means disengaging entirely from relationships or avoiding difficult conversations. However, detachment does not equate to avoidance. True emotional health involves a balance between acceptance and engagement.

If misapplied, the “Let Them” approach could lead to passive-aggressive behavior or emotional withdrawal. In some cases, it might even enable harmful actions. The theory should not be used as an excuse to ignore problems, avoid setting boundaries, or bypass necessary discussions.

Healthy detachment involves recognizing when stepping back is beneficial and when active participation is necessary. Emotional avoidance, on the other hand, can contribute to unresolved conflicts and deteriorating relationships. Therefore, it is important to apply “Let Them” with discernment, ensuring that it promotes self-growth rather than avoidance of responsibility.

A Practical Guide to Applying the “Let Them” Theory

To effectively implement the “Let Them” approach, individuals can follow a three-step process that balances acceptance with intentional action.

  1. Let Them (Pause and Accept): When confronted with someone’s behavior that triggers frustration, pause and accept the reality without attempting to change it immediately. Engaging in breathwork or mindfulness techniques can help calm the nervous system, allowing for a more measured response.
  2. Let Yourself (Assess and Align): Take time to reflect on personal feelings about the situation. Ask questions such as, “Why is this bothering me?” or “What is the deeper root of my reaction?” This self-inquiry process can help differentiate personal self-worth from external circumstances. It also allows individuals to assess their needs and values before deciding on a response.
  3. Take Action (Respond Intentionally): Based on the insights gained from reflection, choose a response that aligns with well-being and personal values. This might involve setting a boundary, expressing feelings, or consciously choosing to let go of the situation. Importantly, the goal is not to control the outcome but to make a decision that serves long-term emotional and psychological health.

The “Let Them” theory is not merely a method for managing interpersonal relationships; it is a broader life philosophy that encourages resilience and self-awareness. By recognizing the limits of control and focusing on personal growth, individuals can cultivate a greater sense of inner peace and emotional balance.

Conclusion

The “Let Them” theory has gained traction for its simple yet profound message: let people be who they are, and focus on what you can control—yourself. Rooted in psychological principles such as locus of control, attachment theory, and acceptance-based therapies, the theory offers a powerful framework for navigating life’s uncertainties.

While it has the potential to improve mental well-being, relationships, and overall resilience, it is essential to apply it with mindfulness. Used appropriately, “Let Them” is not about passivity but about intentional detachment that fosters both personal and relational health. By embracing this mindset, individuals can step away from unnecessary struggles and move toward a life that prioritizes self-awareness, peace, and authenticity.

Dating Over 50: Embracing Confidence, Connection, and Authenticity

Dating in your fifties and beyond offers companionship, intimacy, and even health benefits, often with less pressure than dating at a younger age. Jasbina Ahluwalia, a dating coach, emphasizes that successful relationships at this stage require open communication, mutual respect, and a clear understanding of personal needs and expectations.

What Men Over 50 Value in a Partner

Men in this age group are drawn to qualities that reflect emotional maturity, confidence, and authenticity. They seek partners who can navigate life’s challenges gracefully and communicate openly, fostering trust and stability in a relationship.

1. Shared Values and Interests

Compatibility goes beyond attraction—it’s about having common interests, lifestyle choices, and personal beliefs. A strong bond is built when both partners enjoy meaningful conversations, shared activities, and a similar outlook on life.

2. Life Experience and Wisdom

A lifetime of experiences, lessons, and personal growth adds depth and richness to a relationship. As one of Ahluwalia’s clients, a writer in her 60s, reflected:

“As I’m sure you hear from many clients, this process is a wonderful opportunity for reflection, self-inquiry, and clarity. I walk away with two for the price of one: I found myself and, God willing, my lover. And the former, the most important gift.”

Your personal journey not only enhances your own fulfillment but also makes you a deeply engaging and insightful partner.

3. Confidence and Presence

While physical attraction remains important, it’s not about youthful beauty but rather how you carry yourself. Confidence, self-care, and being comfortable in your own skin leave a lasting impression.

4. Kindness and Positivity

Men over 50 often prioritize partners who bring warmth, encouragement, and emotional support. A positive outlook on life and compassion create a nurturing environment for a relationship to flourish.

Embracing the Journey

For women over 50, dating isn’t just about finding a partner—it’s an opportunity to rediscover themselves. Ahluwalia’s client summed it up best:

“This process is about discovering the most authentic ways to publicly and genuinely introduce yourself.”

By embracing confidence, life experience, and authenticity, the right partner will recognize and cherish you for exactly who you are.

23 March, 2025: An Attempt at Jogging

set in Bandung, Indonesia

“Follow me. Keep up. This isn’t a walking contest. You can’t run anymore?”

“Bisa,” Father says, but he is pushing himself. He is only running because he wants to look good in front of Ipin. His actual calves feel like they are burning off of his legs. He is heaving more than breathing. He remembers how they made fun of him in his childhood days for his inability to cut the rice properly with his father’s sickle, and it gives him the energy to run forward.

“Bisa, bisa begitu,” Ipin says, jogging in place on the red granite of the track. He’s wearing a black cap, along with a black jogging suit. The suit is dark and covers most of Ipin’s sandy-coloured skin, just as the cap covers the thinning parts of his scalp. Ipin has a lanky and tall build, just like Father when he was a teen, but now he has a significant belly and fat on his legs. Ipin has the excuse of being a mechanic by trade who works every day at a garage, but still, if one takes a look at him, one would think he is nearing forty, not seventy.

Father can improve. He was fit growing up, and he can be fit now if he makes the effort. He looks at the blossoming banana flowers in the park and then at the skyline. There are short water jasmines and Fukien trees all across the green of the walkway. People a quarter of Father’s age are jogging rapidly past him. They embody youth in their dress choice, body language, and speed. They have probably run loops around him in the time that Father has completed one. He smells the frangipani blooms around them and thinks of the future. This is Bandung, the Paris of Java, one of the great cities of modern Indonesia. He sees the young gossiping while holding bubble tea in their hands while he takes Mother out shopping on Jalan Brava. He notices the youngsters reading books in foreign languages when he takes the DAMRI. Dago, where they live, is full of nightlife. From the noise that doesn’t stop until three or four o’clock in the morning, he knows that these clubs and pubs are thriving.

He is getting old, but he is part of a vibrant city with a bright future. If they can keep going and trying, why can’t he? He’s not aiming to dance until the sun comes up or learn a new skill. He just has to jog three rounds in the park and keep up with Ipin.

To keep his mind focused on the goal in mind, rather than on the aching of his body, Father decides to engage Ipin in small talk.

“Maria baik?”

“Iya,” Ipin responds. “Pratiwi bagaimana?”

“Baik, baik,” Father says. It doesn’t distract him as much as he’d like. His calves are really burning. He talks to himself as if he were still a doctor talking to a patient. He reminds himself that this sort of pain is normal. People who are out of shape need time to get back into these habits. He will feel some pain, but then he will rest. Tomorrow, most likely the pain will be excruciating and it will take some time to recover, but in some days he will be ready to jog again. He’s unlikely to injure himself in any serious way. He ought to at least be able to run with Ipin for twenty minutes. He can’t be that out of shape.

He tries to think of another small talk question to ask.

“When was the last time you went back home?”

“Towards Garut? Years ago.”

“Years ago? But why?”

“My mother is dead. My father is dead. My brothers are in other cities in Indonesia. Why would I go back?”

“That is true,” Father said.

“Will you go back home now that your mother is gone?”

“Towards Garut?” Father takes the time to think on it, but in reality the answer comes to his head almost immediately. “No.”

And he doesn’t give a reason. This is actually because as he is about to speak, he feels a web of mucus in the back of his throat. He spits it into a bush, next to a bench where two teens are sitting. The two give him an annoyed glare which Father cannot understand, given how much people here spit or throw things all over the place anyway.

“Are you okay?” Ipin asks.

“Iya,” Father says, mostly because he doesn’t want to be teased by Ipin again. He was happy that he completed one round around the track, but halfway through his second, it feels like his legs are going to cramp. And if someone is going to tease him, it is going to be Ipin. Not that he ever had that habit when they were little boys. Quite the opposite. Ipin was one of the few who never made fun of him, partly because they were close back then, two like-minded boys who, despite being from different families, stuck together over a shared dream of leaving the village behind and pursuing a better quality of life in the city. It changed once they both moved to Bandung, but inhabited different worlds inside of it. Father was a hospital doctor and Ipin was a mechanic, and while they met once in a while because their wives ended up becoming best friends, they barely talked otherwise. There was very little trust between them anymore, nor the truth they had earned for each other during their formative years.

But they are still friends because they have known each other for so long, and they still live in the same city. Now that Father is retired, he has time for Ipin, and Ipin is happy to take advantage of it.

“We’re almost about to finish the second lap,” Ipin says. “You promised me at least three.”

“I know,” Father says. He puts on a smile, but the exhale he has to heave interrupts it. He wonders how much longer he can keep up this charade of being fit.

It ends up being not for very long. The moment Father finishes the second lap, his right leg jolts into a spasm. It’s as if the calf muscle has just snapped off the bone of his leg. It is excruciating. Father has to crouch to try to stop the pain, but the pain isn’t stopping, and his face is twitching.

Ipin rushes towards him, shouting all sorts of questions, but Father puts his hand up. He doesn’t want Ipin to know the pain he is in. It will embarrass him. Plus, Father is a doctor. He knows what he is doing. He can treat himself as he would any of his patients. Father crouches fully into a standing version of the fetal position and tries to hold his muscle in place. He hopes that the cramp will subside, but he feels his muscle convulsing in his fingers.

In the meantime, Ipin watches him with a pained look on his face.

“It is okay,” Father says, not wanting to indulge in any of Ipin’s sympathy. “Aku baik. You can keep jogging.”

“Bisa lari?”

“Bisa.”

Ipin leaves, though Father gets the sense that he is doing so to give Father his privacy. He probably should have taken his help, but how could he have helped? It’s a muscle spasm. It has to go by itself. As Ipin retreats farther and farther, lost behind the thick green vines of the nearby trees, Father lets his facade disappear and allows his thoughts to intrude. Why did he agree to go on a jog with Ipin? Whenever they had met previously, they would just go for a walk and catch up. Father knew Ipin took his fitness seriously, while Father next to never did. He always just had too much work in the hospital to care about the state of his body. And he liked all those fried snacks they served at the canteen. He had had no issue letting himself go. It didn’t confront him while he was working because he had his duties, but in his retired life, because he was mostly on his couch or eating heavy meals with his wife, he was gaining even more weight. He was seeing his own stomach bulge outwards as he sat on the toilet or when he lay down on the bed. His double chin was growing to the extent that it was visible in any picture he took with his wife. His elbows and wrists were starting to look bulbous, in a way that he would be cautious about if he were to see it in any one of his patients.

Knowing all this, why did he decide to go on a jog, of all things, with his friend? He wasn’t even thinking about his fitness when he said yes. He just wanted to enjoy some time together with an old friend. Now, he is humiliating himself in front of someone he has known for most of his life.

He doesn’t like it one bit.

The cramp isn’t the end of the world, he reminds himself. A cramp happens whenever someone isn’t used to a new strenuous style of exercise. And jogging isn’t something Father does. That is why it is hard. If he did this once a week with Ipin, he would improve. It is a matter of endurance, which can be trained.

Ipin finishes his lap and approaches Father. He asks, “Is it better now?”

Father tries to stand straight and smile despite his leg feeling sore. It doesn’t fully straighten, and he limps as he comes to Ipin’s side. “Yeah, I’m better now.”

Ipin can tell Father is lying. He says, “If you took care of your health better, this wouldn’t happen.” Father doesn’t like this comment, but Ipin continues with with no care for the glare on Father’s face. “You are so fat now. Fat, really. When you were a teenager, you were so skinny. What happened?”

“Because I had work to do,” Father says, wanting to remind Ipin that he was at the hospital sometimes twenty hours in a day, with barely any time to sleep, let alone eat.

“And I didn’t have work to do?” Ipin asks. That is true, Father thinks. Ipin was also working hard, trying to lift his family out of poverty and towards the middle class. Admittedly, his work allowed him to remain in shape, but Father doesn’t want to point that out. He genuinely appreciates Ipin and his struggles, particularly knowing that he raised several children on a much smaller salary than Father’s, putting them into school and now helping them to raise and feed his grandchildren.

Ipin takes out his phone and shares a number with Father.

“This is a guy from my apartment building. He is a physical trainer. He can help you get stronger.”

Ipin makes a weight lifting gesture with his biceps.

“Terima kasih,” Father says, but mostly as a formality. Though he is still pretending to smile, he is annoyed with his friend. Father can barely walk straight, and his friend is already pushing a trainer onto him? It seems rude and out of place.

Ipin must see that Father is annoyed, because he asks Father, “Can I do another round?”

“Pasti,” Father says. He finds himself a seat on the bench those teens were using. He watches Ipin make his circles. Out of curiosity, he looks up the name that Ipin has given him. He is shocked to see that this bodybuilder has hundreds of thousands of followers on social media. The videos he puts up of himself are short, but both entertaining and informative.

Father’s belly expands as he sits. It is so big that it’s almost halfway to his knees. He has been sitting for a few minutes, but he still finds himself gasping for breath. It wouldn’t hurt to get in shape, Father reasons. He is retired, and he is a little tired of spending most of his free time with his wife. This would give him something else to do, something productive and useful and good for his health.

Father doesn’t wait for Ipin to finish his exercise. He calls the number he has been given, and enjoys talking to this young man, who is charismatic, kind, and professional in his tone. The young trainer says he is busy for the rest of the month but claims that he will give Father a free consultation. Father likes the idea of anything free and agrees. He ends the phone call, a smile on his face. He can almost smell the frangipani around them now that his breathing has eased. He closes his eyes and imagines himself skinny and muscular, just like this young bodybuilder.

How to Handle Relationship Conflict in a Healthy Way

No relationship, no matter how strong, is entirely free of conflict. What sets healthy relationships apart from unhealthy ones is not the presence of conflict but how couples approach it. The strongest couples don’t fear disagreements; they see them as opportunities for growth rather than obstacles to avoid.

Disagreements don’t have to escalate into heated arguments. Instead, they can be viewed as natural differences in opinions, emotions, or expectations—things that, when handled correctly, can even strengthen a relationship. However, for many people, conflict feels intimidating, especially if they lack the tools to manage it effectively.

Renowned relationship expert Dr. John Gottman, in his book The Marriage Clinic, outlines four key techniques to ensure that conflicts are constructive rather than damaging. Practicing these consistently can help transform relationship disputes into opportunities for deeper understanding.

1. Use a ‘Softened Start-Up’

One of the biggest mistakes couples make is approaching conflicts with blame, criticism, or frustration. While it’s natural to feel emotional, the way a conversation begins often determines how it ends.

If you start with hostility, your partner will likely become defensive, turning what could have been a constructive discussion into an unproductive argument. Gottman emphasizes the importance of what he calls a “softened start-up”—approaching conflict with calmness, clarity, and care.

For example, if you feel unheard in your relationship, you have two ways to bring it up:

  • Harsh approach: “You never listen to me. You don’t care about what I have to say.”
  • Softened start-up: “I feel like I’m not always heard when we talk. I want to make sure we’re on the same page. Can we figure out a way to do that?”

The softened approach encourages conversation rather than combat. Instead of making accusations, you’re expressing a need, giving your partner a chance to respond with understanding rather than defensiveness.

Healthy couples don’t avoid difficult conversations—they take responsibility for how they initiate them. Starting discussions gently sets the stage for a productive exchange rather than an escalating argument.

2. Accept That Some Problems Are Unsolvable

Many people believe that a strong relationship means resolving every conflict. In reality, most relationship disagreements don’t have clear-cut solutions. Gottman’s research found that 69% of conflicts in relationships are perpetual, meaning they stem from fundamental differences in personality, values, or lifestyle.

For example, one partner may thrive on social interaction, while the other prefers solitude. This isn’t something that can be “fixed”—neither person is going to change their fundamental nature. However, successful couples learn to manage these differences rather than letting them cause division.

Instead of trying to eliminate unsolvable problems, couples who last focus on respecting each other’s needs and finding compromises. In the case of differing social needs, a couple might agree to set aside certain nights for socializing and others for quiet time together.

Unsolvable problems don’t have to be dealbreakers. What matters is how couples handle them. Instead of seeing disagreements as signs of incompatibility, the healthiest couples recognize them as natural and navigate them with patience and mutual respect.

3. Always Make Repair Attempts

It’s not conflict itself that ruins relationships—it’s the lingering resentment that can follow if conflicts go unresolved. Successful couples don’t just argue; they also repair the relationship afterward.

A repair attempt is any gesture—verbal or nonverbal—that helps defuse tension and reinforce the bond between partners. This could be an apology, a reassuring touch, humor, or even a simple, “I don’t want to fight. Can we start over?”

For instance, if an argument is escalating, one partner could reach out, hold the other’s hand, and say, “I love you. I don’t want to fight like this.” While this doesn’t erase the disagreement, it shifts the focus toward working together rather than against each other.

However, repair attempts only work if both partners are willing to accept them. If one person offers an olive branch but the other refuses to take it, resentment can linger. The key is to recognize these gestures as a way to reconnect and move forward.

4. Forgive and Focus on Gratitude

Forgiveness doesn’t mean ignoring problems or pretending they didn’t happen. Instead, it means choosing not to let past hurts define the relationship. Holding onto resentment can create distance, while letting go allows couples to move forward.

Forgiveness takes time, but research shows that practicing gratitude can make it easier. When couples actively focus on the positive aspects of their relationship, they shift their perspective away from mistakes and toward appreciation.

For example, if a partner forgets an anniversary or an important promise, it’s understandable to feel hurt. However, rather than fixating on the mistake, one might also recall the many ways their partner has shown love and support in other moments. This doesn’t mean dismissing hurt feelings—it just means putting them in a broader, more forgiving context.

By choosing to see a partner as a whole person rather than defining them by one mistake, couples create a path forward with love and hope.

Final Thoughts

Conflict is inevitable in any relationship, but it doesn’t have to be destructive. By starting conversations gently, accepting unsolvable differences, making repair attempts, and practicing forgiveness and gratitude, couples can turn disagreements into opportunities for deeper understanding.

The strongest relationships aren’t free of conflict—they are simply built on the skills to navigate it in a way that strengthens the bond rather than weakens it.

U.S. Falls to Lowest-Ever Ranking in World Happiness Report

The United States has experienced a sharp decline in global happiness rankings, falling to No. 24 in the latest World Happiness Report—its lowest position in the report’s 13-year history.

Last year, the U.S. dropped out of the top 20 for the first time, but the continuous decline has researchers particularly concerned.

Youth Well-Being Driving the Decline

A major factor behind the drop is the declining happiness among young Americans. According to Jan-Emmanuel De Neve, an Oxford professor and editor of the report, the decline is particularly driven by people under 30.

“If you were only to assess those below 30, the U.S. wouldn’t even rank in the top 60 happiest countries,” De Neve told Fortune.

Inequality and Social Isolation Are Key Factors

Unlike Nordic nations such as Finland (No. 1), Denmark (No. 2), and Iceland (No. 3), where well-being is more evenly distributed, the U.S. has greater economic inequality, affecting overall happiness.

“In these Scandinavian countries, a rising tide lifts all boats,” De Neve explained, adding that in Finland, most people rate their happiness at seven or eight on a scale of ten, whereas in the U.S., responses are more polarized, with both high and extremely low ratings.

Additionally, social isolation is growing. In 2023, nearly one in five young adults in the U.S. reported having no one to rely on for support. Data also shows that the number of people dining alone in the U.S. has surged 53% since 2003.

“You see an extraordinary increase in dining alone over the past two decades in the U.S.,” De Neve noted.

This social isolation fosters mistrust in others and society, leading people to form echo chambers that reinforce negative perceptions, including distrust of strangers and institutions.

Trust in Others: A Key Indicator

The study measured trust levels using a “lost wallet” experiment, where people were asked whether they believed a stranger would return a lost wallet.

Compared to Nordic countries, Americans were less likely to believe that a stranger would return a wallet or that police would ensure its safe return.

“That single item of the wallet drop is very powerful,” De Neve explained.

Broader Implications

With trust eroding and social isolation increasing, the report suggests that America’s happiness crisis may continue unless deeper structural issues—such as economic inequality, loneliness, and declining trust in institutions—are addressed.

10 Science-Backed Habits to Train Your Brain for Lasting Joy

Ever wonder why some people radiate joy no matter what life throws at them?

It’s not about luck or ignorance of stress—it’s about habits that reinforce positive neural pathways. These aren’t fleeting mood boosters; they’re small, consistent actions that build long-term emotional resilience.

Here are 10 research-backed strategies to rewire your brain for sustainable happiness.

1. Start Your Day with Gratitude

Beginning the morning with a simple gratitude practice signals your brain to focus on the good.

  • Write down three things you’re thankful for—a supportive friend, a warm bed, or a great cup of coffee.
  • Neuroscience shows that repeatedly recognizing positivity strengthens optimism circuits in the brain.
  • Over time, gratitude becomes self-reinforcing, making it easier to spot the good in everyday life.

2. Move Your Body—Even a Little

Exercise isn’t just about fitness; it’s a mood booster.

  • Physical activity releases endorphins, reducing stress hormones.
  • Even a brisk 10-minute walk can refresh your mood, improve focus, and lower irritability.
  • Movement acts as a mental reset button, helping you tackle challenges with clarity and resilience.

3. Feed Your Mind with Positivity

The content you consume shapes your mindset.

  • Choose uplifting books, podcasts, or videos that inspire and motivate.
  • A short motivational speech, an inspiring chapter, or a funny clip can subtly shift your mindset.
  • Over time, these micro-doses of positivity train your brain to lean towards optimism.

4. Perform Micro-Acts of Kindness

Small good deeds trigger a “helper’s high”, lighting up the brain’s reward centers.

  • Buy someone coffee, send a kind message, or hold the door open.
  • Research shows acts of kindness lower cortisol (the stress hormone) and increase happiness chemicals.
  • Shifting focus from internal worries to external empathy promotes a greater sense of connection and fulfillment.

5. Challenge Limiting Beliefs

Your thoughts shape your reality—so why not rewrite negative mental scripts?

  • Identify outdated beliefs like “I’ll never be a positive person” or “I’m bad at work-life balance.”
  • Challenge and reframe them into constructive, empowering statements.
  • Studies show that changing self-defeating narratives weakens negative neural pathways, rewiring the brain for growth.

6. Take Mindful Breaks

We live in a fast-paced world, but short breaks can reset your stress response.

  • Try deep breathing, silent reflection, or a quick walk.
  • Marcus Aurelius once said, “Nowhere you can go is more peaceful—more free of interruptions—than your own soul.”
  • These micro-pauses train the brain to stay resilient under pressure.

7. Engage in a Creative Outlet

Creative activities activate brain regions linked to problem-solving and emotional expression.

  • Painting, writing, cooking, or playing an instrument can be deeply therapeutic.
  • Flow states—where you lose track of time—can rejuvenate the mind and lower stress.
  • Creative expression fosters a sense of progress and accomplishment, boosting self-esteem.

8. Prioritize Real Social Connections

Humans thrive on connection.

  • Face-to-face interactions release oxytocin, the bonding hormone linked to happiness.
  • Even if you can’t meet in person, a call or video chat can reduce feelings of isolation.
  • Studies on Blue Zones (regions with the longest lifespans) show that strong social networks are key to well-being.

9. Limit Doomscrolling

Excessive exposure to negative news keeps the brain in a constant state of stress.

  • Set boundaries around news consumption—stay informed, but in controlled doses.
  • Offset negativity by seeking out positive or uplifting content.
  • A less-stressed nervous system makes room for more joy and peace.

10. Reflect Before Bed

A quick nighttime review rewires your brain to focus on what went well.

  • Ask yourself:
    • What am I grateful for today?
    • What went better than expected?
  • This reflection strengthens positive memory storage and reduces rumination on negative events.

The Bottom Line

Rewiring your brain for joy isn’t about overnight transformation—it’s about small, consistent habits that stack up over time.

Each time you:

✅ Practice gratitude

✅ Take a mindful break

✅ Choose uplifting content

✅ Engage in creativity or kindness

—you’re literally reshaping your brain’s neural pathways.

Joy isn’t just a personality trait; it’s a skill you can train.

And that’s a powerful realization—because it means happiness is within your control.

Love, Money & Chores: The Three Biggest Relationship Deal-Breakers and How to Fix Them

Having worked with countless couples in counseling sessions over the years, I have come to realize that no relationship is without its flaws. Every couple encounters disagreements, but what are the major deal-breakers that lead to repeated conflicts? While every relationship has its own triggers, three common themes often emerge as the root causes of disputes: financial disagreements, division of household responsibilities, and conflicting long-term aspirations. Let’s take a closer look at each issue and explore ways to navigate these challenges while maintaining a healthy relationship.

1. Financial Friction: When Money Becomes a Battleground

Money can be one of the most sensitive topics in any relationship, and financial stress is a leading cause of arguments between couples. Studies indicate that differing attitudes toward money can create a significant strain, as one partner may prioritize saving and financial security while the other may adopt a more carefree, spend-as-you-go approach. When these differing financial habits clash, they can lead to feelings of frustration, resentment, and insecurity about the future.

Consider Sarah and Ethan, a couple who found themselves in constant financial disputes. Sarah was meticulous about saving for the future, ensuring they had a financial cushion, while Ethan preferred to enjoy the present and spend on experiences. Sarah perceived Ethan’s spending habits as reckless and feared they would struggle later in life, while Ethan felt constrained by Sarah’s cautious approach, believing that life was meant to be enjoyed now. Over time, their disagreements intensified, making both feel misunderstood and disconnected.

So, how can couples prevent financial differences from becoming a relationship-breaking issue? The key lies in open and honest communication. It’s essential for partners to discuss their financial values early in the relationship and continue revisiting the conversation as circumstances change. Establishing a shared budget that respects both partners’ perspectives can help create a balanced approach. Rather than avoiding discussions about money, couples should proactively manage their finances together, ensuring that both partners feel heard and respected.

2. The Battle Over Household Chores: Resentment in the Routine

Another issue that can quietly erode a relationship is an unequal division of household chores. While arguments about money may be expected, conflicts over domestic responsibilities can be just as damaging, often leading to underlying feelings of imbalance and lack of appreciation. It’s not just about whether the dishes are done or the laundry is folded—it’s about fairness, respect, and feeling valued in the relationship.

Research has shown that when one partner feels overburdened with household duties while the other does not contribute equally, resentment can quickly build. Over time, this imbalance can lead to ongoing frustration, which may manifest in frequent arguments or emotional withdrawal.

Take Carla and Jack, for example. Carla found herself handling the majority of household tasks, even though she worked full-time. Jack, who had a demanding job, believed that since he put in long hours at work, household chores should not be his responsibility. While he wasn’t intentionally dismissing Carla’s efforts, his lack of participation made Carla feel overwhelmed and unappreciated. What started as small frustrations soon turned into major conflicts, as Carla grew resentful of carrying the bulk of the domestic workload.

How can couples navigate this issue? The solution starts with open communication and clear expectations. Instead of assuming that one partner will naturally take on more responsibilities, couples should have honest conversations about how they will divide household tasks. Sharing the workload fairly, considering both partners’ time and effort, can make a significant difference in reducing tension. Expressing appreciation for each other’s contributions—whether big or small—can also go a long way in strengthening the relationship.

3. Conflicting Life Goals: When Dreams Don’t Align

As relationships evolve, couples may discover that their long-term goals and aspirations do not align. While small differences can often be worked through, major life decisions—such as career paths, family planning, or lifestyle choices—can lead to deep-seated conflicts if not addressed. If one partner envisions a future vastly different from the other’s, the relationship may feel like it’s heading in opposite directions.

Consider the case of Mike and Clara. Mike had always dreamed of advancing his career in a bustling city, while Clara longed for a peaceful life in the countryside, where she hoped to raise a family. At first, they avoided discussing their differences, assuming that love would be enough to bridge the gap. However, as time went on, their conflicting visions of the future became impossible to ignore. Each felt that compromising meant sacrificing their personal dreams, leading to increasing frustration and emotional distance.

So, how can couples navigate major differences in life goals? The key lies in deep, honest conversations about the future. Partners must be willing to openly discuss their long-term aspirations and listen to each other’s perspectives. Compromise does not always mean splitting things down the middle, but it does require a genuine effort to understand and respect each other’s dreams. In some cases, seeking guidance from a relationship counselor can help couples explore possible solutions that allow both partners to feel fulfilled in the relationship.

How to Handle Conflict Without Damaging Your Relationship

While these three issues—money, household chores, and conflicting life goals—are among the most common relationship deal-breakers, how couples handle these conflicts can determine whether their relationship thrives or struggles. Conflict is a natural part of any relationship, but it’s how disagreements are approached that makes all the difference.

Here are some key strategies for navigating relationship conflicts effectively:

  1. Practice Active Listening: When disagreements arise, take the time to truly listen to your partner’s perspective rather than immediately reacting. Acknowledge their feelings and validate their concerns.
  2. Communicate with Respect: Avoid accusatory language or placing blame. Instead, use “I” statements to express your feelings. For example, instead of saying, “You never help around the house,” try, “I feel overwhelmed when I have to handle all the chores alone.”
  3. Find Common Ground: Look for solutions that work for both partners. Whether it’s creating a shared budget, dividing chores more equitably, or finding a compromise on long-term goals, relationships thrive on mutual effort and understanding.
  4. Schedule Regular Check-Ins: Set aside time to discuss any ongoing concerns and assess how the relationship is progressing. This helps prevent small issues from escalating into major conflicts.
  5. Seek Professional Guidance if Needed: If conflicts become overwhelming, couples therapy or counseling can provide a safe space to work through issues with the help of a neutral third party.

Final Thoughts: Building a Stronger Relationship Through Conflict Resolution

No relationship is without its challenges, and conflicts are inevitable. However, addressing issues with open communication, mutual respect, and a willingness to work through differences can strengthen the bond between partners. Instead of avoiding conflict, couples should view disagreements as opportunities for growth and deeper understanding.

By proactively managing financial discussions, ensuring a fair division of household responsibilities, and openly discussing future goals, couples can create a solid foundation for a long-lasting and fulfilling relationship. At the end of the day, love is not about never disagreeing—it’s about learning how to navigate those disagreements together.

Mastering the Art of Happiness: Eight Mindful Ways to Lead a Fulfilling Life

There is a significant contrast between temporary joy and long-lasting happiness.

The key difference lies in mindfulness. While fleeting joy is often tied to external circumstances or possessions, sustained happiness stems from adopting a particular lifestyle.

Living a happy life is, in many ways, an art—one that requires dedication and patience to master. Having spent time practicing this art, I’ve discovered several mindful approaches that can lead to a happier existence.

Below are eight mindful strategies that I have learned to cultivate happiness. And believe me, it’s easier than it seems.

  1. Develop an Attitude of Gratitude

Many people overlook the impact of gratitude in their pursuit of happiness.

It is all too common to become caught up in daily routines and forget to value the things we already have. This is where practicing gratitude becomes essential.

Gratitude is about recognizing the positive aspects of life—whether it’s something as simple as a beautiful sunset or as significant as good health and meaningful relationships.

Studies indicate that consistently expressing gratitude can elevate happiness levels. The practice involves shifting focus from what is lacking to what is already abundant in life.

If happiness is the goal, then acknowledging your blessings is the starting point. Keeping a gratitude journal, expressing appreciation frequently, or setting aside time each day to reflect on what you are grateful for can be transformative.

It is important to remember that happiness is not always about gaining something new; sometimes, it emerges from valuing what is already present.

  1. Live in the Present

Being fully present is a fundamental aspect of happiness, something I have personally experienced.

I used to spend too much time dwelling on past memories or planning for the future. However, I soon realized that by doing so, I was missing out on the present.

One day, during a walk, my mind was preoccupied with an upcoming presentation. I was so lost in thought that I barely noticed the blooming trees around me. It was then that I realized how much I was missing by not living in the moment.

From that point on, I made a conscious effort to be present. It was challenging at first, but with practice, it became a habit. Whether eating a meal, talking to a friend, or admiring a sunset, I now make an effort to immerse myself in the experience fully.

This shift has brought me greater joy and fulfillment. My advice? Stop worrying about what’s next and start appreciating what’s happening now. You might be surprised by how much happier you feel.

  1. Build Strong Relationships

Human beings are inherently social. Our connections with others have a profound impact on our happiness.

A Harvard University study found that individuals with strong relationships tend to be happier, healthier, and live longer. The research revealed that wealth or fame were not the primary factors behind a fulfilling life; rather, the quality of relationships played a crucial role.

Prioritizing relationships with loved ones can enhance happiness. Engaging in meaningful conversations, offering support, and sharing both joys and struggles contribute to deeper connections.

Happiness flourishes when shared, making strong relationships an essential component of a fulfilling life.

  1. Take Care of Yourself

Self-care is not just about indulgent spa treatments or relaxation rituals—it encompasses physical, mental, and emotional well-being.

In today’s fast-paced world, people often neglect their own needs while attending to others. However, as the saying goes, you cannot pour from an empty cup.

Ensuring a healthy diet, adequate rest, and necessary breaks is essential. It is also important to engage in activities that provide relaxation and renewal.

A well-balanced body and mind enable individuals to navigate challenges more effectively and appreciate life’s pleasures. Self-care, therefore, is a fundamental ingredient in the pursuit of happiness.

  1. Show Kindness

Kindness is a simple yet powerful tool that can create happiness for both the giver and the receiver.

Small gestures—such as offering a warm smile, giving a compliment, or extending a helping hand—can brighten someone’s day while fostering a sense of personal fulfillment.

Being kind benefits not just others but also oneself. It fosters a cycle of positivity, spreading joy and encouraging others to reciprocate the same behavior.

“In a world where you can be anything, be kind.” The happiness that stems from kindness has a ripple effect, making it one of the most effective ways to cultivate joy.

  1. Accept Imperfections

At one point, I constantly chased perfection—the ideal career, the flawless home, the perfect physique. The pursuit seemed endless, and it led to frequent disappointment.

Life is unpredictable and imperfect, and that is completely okay. What truly matters is how one responds to these imperfections.

Rather than fixating on perceived flaws or failures, I began viewing them as opportunities for growth. This shift in mindset alleviated unnecessary pressure and significantly increased my happiness.

Letting go of perfectionism allows for personal development. Accepting imperfections and learning from mistakes is essential in the journey toward happiness.

  1. Cultivate a Positive Mindset

Thoughts have a strong influence on emotions and actions. Developing a positive mindset can greatly enhance happiness.

Having a positive outlook does not mean ignoring difficulties; instead, it involves facing challenges with optimism and confidence in one’s ability to overcome them.

Focusing on the good aspects of life, celebrating even small achievements, practicing positive affirmations, and surrounding oneself with positivity can help maintain a healthy mindset.

Happiness originates from within, and fostering a positive perspective is a key step in experiencing genuine joy.

  1. Discover Your Purpose

Having a purpose provides direction and motivation, helping individuals navigate life’s ups and downs.

A sense of purpose is not solely defined by one’s profession—it encompasses personal values, impact on others, and the legacy left behind.

Living with purpose brings passion, and passion often leads to happiness. Identifying what truly inspires and drives you can make a significant difference.

Pursuing one’s purpose fosters a deeper sense of fulfillment, making it a crucial component of a happy life.

Final Thoughts: Happiness is a Journey

The search for happiness is a lifelong and personal journey. Rather than being a fixed destination, it is a continuous process of growth and appreciation.

Happiness is not a static state; it fluctuates, much like the tides. True contentment lies in embracing small joys, valuing what is already present, and striving for self-improvement.

As Aristotle wisely stated, “Happiness depends upon ourselves.”

Whether through practicing gratitude, being present, nurturing relationships, or discovering one’s purpose, each mindful step contributes to a happier and more fulfilling life.

The Hallmarks of a Secure Relationship: Three Key Signs to Look For

True love should never feel like an endless balancing act—constantly navigating loyalty tests, second-guessing your partner’s emotions, or struggling to maintain the right level of closeness. Instead, love should provide a sense of safety and emotional stability.

This emotional security—or lack thereof—is often shaped by an individual’s attachment style. Those with a secure attachment bring trust, maturity, and stability to their relationships, making them a refreshing presence for partners who may have previously encountered insecurity in past relationships.

If you’ve ever wondered whether your partner exhibits secure attachment traits, here are three key indicators to consider.

They Are Comfortable With Missing You

Psychologically, secure attachment is rooted in trust. According to classic research published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, securely attached individuals tend to exhibit significantly higher levels of trust in their relationships. They recognize that physical proximity is not required to maintain a strong connection. Instead of seeing their partner’s social life as a threat, they understand it as an independent aspect of a healthy relationship.

Imagine you have been looking forward to a night out with friends. You and your partner have spent quality time together recently, but tonight, you just want to unwind and enjoy yourself.

An anxiously attached partner might flood your phone with texts, asking when you’ll be back or worrying that you are enjoying yourself too much without them. They may express concern with statements like, “I just don’t get why you want to go without me,” or “Are you sure you won’t forget about me while you’re out?”

Conversely, an avoidantly attached partner might pretend they are unaffected but later withdraw emotionally. Rather than admitting they missed you, they could become distant, almost as if they are punishing you for having fun.

A securely attached partner, however, would simply say, “Have a great time! Send me a picture if you guys do something fun. I can’t wait to hear all about it when you get home.”

There would be no guilt trips, no subtle attempts to make you reconsider, and no silent treatment afterward. Secure partners have confidence in the relationship and trust that no matter how much fun you have without them, you will always return.

This sense of security extends beyond just social outings. It means they trust you when you travel for work, take on new personal projects, or build friendships outside the relationship. They see your independence as a sign of balance rather than a threat. Most importantly, when you return home, you are met with warmth—not suspicion.

They Communicate With Clarity and Care

Imagine coming home after a particularly rough day at work. You are quieter than usual, weighed down by stress.

An anxiously attached partner might repeatedly ask what’s wrong, even after you have said you’re not ready to talk. If you remain withdrawn, they may assume they have done something wrong, spiraling into self-doubt with questions like, “Is it me? Did I say something? Are you mad at me?” Instead of managing your own emotions, you end up having to reassure them.

An avoidantly attached partner, in contrast, may sense your distress but choose to ignore it. They might avoid eye contact, leave the room, or pretend not to notice. Their thinking is, “If they want to talk, they’ll say something,” disregarding the importance of emotional presence. If they acknowledge the situation at all, it might be with a detached “You okay?” that they immediately drop if you respond with “I’m fine” or “I don’t want to talk about it.”

A securely attached partner approaches the situation differently. They recognize that your mood is not necessarily about them and respond with patience and tact. They might say, “Hey, I can tell that you’re out of sorts today. I want to be there for you, but I can’t if I don’t know what’s wrong. When you’re ready, let’s talk about it together?”

Their tone is warm, open, and pressure-free. If you decide to talk, they listen attentively. If you choose to remain silent, they respect your space while making it clear they are available when you need them.

This kind of emotional availability is one of the greatest benefits of secure attachment. According to Frontiers in Psychology research from 2015, emotionally available individuals are open to maintaining deep emotional connections. Secure partners do not shy away from tough conversations, nor do they rely on mind games or passive-aggressive tactics. Instead, they prioritize clear, direct, and compassionate communication.

With a secure partner, there are fewer misunderstandings, fewer moments of tension, and fewer instances where you feel unheard. Instead, you feel truly seen—even when you aren’t saying anything. Secure partners know when to read between the lines and when to listen intently to what is being said.

They Handle Conflict With Maturity

Psychologists have long observed that secure individuals approach conflict in ways that strengthen relationships rather than weaken them. Research from The American Journal of Family Therapy highlights that securely attached partners excel in verbal engagement, self-disclosure, and constructive discussions.

To them, disagreements provide an opportunity to gain deeper insight into their partner’s thoughts and feelings, rather than posing a threat to the relationship.

For instance, suppose you need to address something that has been bothering you. Perhaps your partner made a comment—a joke or a passing remark—that unintentionally hurt your feelings. You sit down with them and say, “Hey, I just wanted to talk about something. When you said that earlier, it really hurt my feelings.”

An anxiously attached partner might respond by over-apologizing, shifting the focus to their own insecurities. “Oh my God, I’m the worst! I always mess up! Do you even love me anymore?” Before you know it, you are comforting them, and your feelings remain unaddressed.

On the other hand, an avoidantly attached partner might react defensively, saying, “You’re overreacting. It was just a joke. Why are you making such a big deal out of this?” This dismissive response shuts down the conversation, leaving you feeling invalidated.

A securely attached partner, however, would not roll their eyes, become defensive, or make the conversation about themselves. Instead, they would listen carefully before responding with something like, “Wow, I didn’t realize that came off that way—but after hearing your perspective, I totally understand why you’d be upset. I’m really sorry, and thank you for telling me.”

Once the serious discussion is over, they might even use humor or affection to restore warmth. There is no lingering bitterness—only a sincere desire to reconnect and move forward.

Secure partners do not resort to silent treatments or escalate minor issues into dramatic fights. Likewise, you do not feel as though you must constantly tread carefully to avoid triggering an overreaction. Instead, problems are acknowledged, solutions are found, and both partners walk away feeling heard, validated, and stronger together.

Ultimately, a relationship with a securely attached partner is one in which love feels safe—not like an endless test of endurance.

The Subtle Art of Not Caring: 10 Mindful Ways to Let Go and Find Happiness

Life today is fast-paced and demanding. Juggling work, relationships, social media, and countless other responsibilities often leads us to seek approval from others. The more we concern ourselves with external opinions and societal expectations, the more anxious and disconnected we become.

However, there is a way to escape this mental turmoil: by mastering the subtle art of not caring. This doesn’t mean becoming indifferent or emotionless; rather, it’s about freeing ourselves from unhealthy expectations and embracing a more authentic way of living.

Having studied psychology in university, I have long been fascinated by the intersection of Eastern philosophy and modern happiness research. Over time, I’ve realized that happiness is not about constantly adding more to our lives but about shedding unnecessary mental burdens.

Here are ten mindful strategies to help stop stressing over minor matters and cultivate a more fulfilling life.

Embrace impermanence

Everything in life is constantly changing, and understanding this can be surprisingly comforting. I used to hold onto expectations—whether about people, outcomes, or my own abilities—but once I accepted that change is inevitable, I felt a sense of relief.

Recognizing impermanence doesn’t mean giving up on what matters; it simply means letting go of the illusion of control. When faced with unexpected challenges, remind yourself: “This too shall pass.” Most problems are temporary, and adopting this perspective can prevent unnecessary worry.

Let go of external approval

As social beings, we naturally crave acceptance. But when we become overly concerned with what others think, we lose sight of our own identity.

I have experienced this firsthand—trying to please everyone only left me drained. Eventually, I realized I was conforming to expectations that weren’t even my own.

Releasing the need for external validation doesn’t mean disregarding others entirely; rather, it means acknowledging that we cannot control people’s perceptions. When we detach from this constant pursuit, we redirect our energy toward personal growth, meaningful relationships, and inner peace.

Practice mindful detachment

Eastern philosophies emphasize detachment—not as a rejection of emotions, but as a way to create a healthy distance from our thoughts and desires.

Over-attachment to outcomes, such as securing a promotion or finding the perfect partner, breeds tension and often leads to disappointment. Mindful detachment allows us to observe our thoughts without letting them dictate our emotions.

For example, if I’m anxious about a work project, I acknowledge the worry, plan my next steps, and then release the anxiety rather than dwell on it. This approach fosters calmness and resilience, making setbacks easier to navigate.

Set healthy boundaries

One of the most effective ways to maintain peace of mind is by setting clear boundaries. Saying “yes” to every request—whether social or professional—can quickly lead to burnout. Understanding where your responsibilities end and others’ begin is crucial.

A long-term study by Harvard on adult development emphasizes the role of healthy relationships in overall well-being. An essential part of maintaining these relationships is learning to say “no” when necessary. Interestingly, when we establish firm boundaries, people often respect us more, not less.

Find freedom in vulnerability

I once feared vulnerability, believing it would lead to rejection or diminished respect. However, I later realized that being open about fears and insecurities strengthens relationships rather than weakens them.

The same Harvard study found that meaningful relationships are a key predictor of happiness and longevity. But deep connections can only form when we allow others to see our true selves—flaws included.

Accept your feelings without judgment

It’s common to label emotions like anxiety or sadness as “bad” and attempt to suppress them. However, resisting emotions only amplifies them.

Instead, practice acknowledging your feelings without criticism. Simply saying, “I’m feeling anxious, and that’s okay,” can help reduce the intensity of the emotion.

This approach is rooted in mindfulness, which encourages us to observe emotions with curiosity rather than resistance. Paradoxically, acceptance makes it easier to let go of distressing thoughts.

Focus on the present moment

Many of us spend our days either reliving past mistakes or worrying about the future—rarely focusing on the present. This mental habit fuels anxiety and prevents us from fully experiencing life.

Shifting attention to the present is a powerful way to let go of unnecessary worries. Even a short five-minute breathing exercise can help ground you in reality rather than hypothetical fears.

Research has shown that mindfulness significantly reduces stress and enhances life satisfaction, making it a valuable practice for anyone struggling with overthinking.

Align with your personal values

Whenever I find myself overly concerned about societal expectations, I ask: “Does this align with my values?” If the answer is no, I remind myself that it’s not worth my mental energy.

Psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky’s research on happiness suggests that up to 40% of our happiness stems from our daily activities and mindset. Living in alignment with our values plays a major role in this.

When our actions reflect our beliefs, we experience a sense of integrity and fulfillment that no external approval can replace.

Remember it’s okay to recalibrate

Life is constantly evolving, and so are we. What was important to us a few years ago may no longer hold the same significance. Allowing ourselves to change—whether that means switching careers, ending friendships, or embracing new interests—is crucial for growth.

Change can feel intimidating, but research from the University of Pennsylvania indicates that openness to new possibilities fosters optimism, which in turn enhances well-being. If your intuition suggests a shift is necessary, trust that you have the ability to navigate the transition.

Choose what you care about wisely

Mastering the art of not caring doesn’t mean becoming indifferent; it means being selective about where you invest your energy.

Think of life as a carefully curated experience. By focusing on what truly matters—whether it’s relationships, personal goals, or passions—you create space for deeper fulfillment.

This concept is explored in my book, Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How to Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego. A key takeaway is that by letting go of distractions and concerns that don’t align with our values, we can fully invest in what brings us joy.

Final words

At its core, not caring is not about apathy—it’s about intention. It’s about decluttering our mental space and filling it with meaningful pursuits, relationships, and inner peace.

For me, the greatest transformation came when I stopped tying my self-worth to external judgments. By relinquishing unnecessary concerns, I gained clarity, strengthened relationships, and discovered a contentment I never thought possible.

I hope these ten mindful strategies inspire you to embrace a more liberated way of living. Life is too short to be weighed down by worries that don’t reflect your true self. Why not allow yourself the freedom to live authentically, love deeply, and care selectively? Trust me—it’s worth it.

9 Morning Habits That Help Keep the Mind Sharp as We Age

The way we start our mornings plays a crucial role in shaping the rest of our day. As we age, these habits become even more important in maintaining mental sharpness. Some individuals manage to stay mentally agile well into their 70s, 80s, and beyond—not just by chance but through simple, effective routines. Fortunately, these habits are easy to adopt and can be beneficial to anyone. Here are nine morning practices that contribute to long-term cognitive health.

  1. They Begin the Day with Physical Activity

A common trait among individuals who maintain mental sharpness as they age is their commitment to staying active, starting from the moment they wake up. They do not necessarily engage in intense workouts like marathon running or heavy lifting. Instead, they incorporate simple movements such as stretching, yoga, or a brisk morning walk.

Engaging in physical activity boosts blood flow to the brain, enhances focus, and uplifts mood, setting a positive tone for the entire day. The key lies in consistency—a small amount of movement each morning can have significant benefits in preserving both physical and mental strength over time.

  1. They Nourish Their Brain with the Right Foods

For a long time, coffee alone seemed sufficient to kickstart the morning. However, as the years passed, it became clear that morning nutrition plays a major role in sustaining focus and energy throughout the day.

Observing people who remained mentally sharp well into their later years revealed a common pattern—they prioritized brain-boosting foods. Instead of opting for sugary cereals or skipping breakfast, they incorporated protein, healthy fats, and fiber into their diets. Eggs, nuts, berries, and whole grains provide essential nutrients that support cognitive function.

After making this dietary shift, the difference was noticeable. Energy levels became more stable, focus improved, and mental clarity increased. Though a minor adjustment, it has a lasting impact on brain health.

  1. They Engage in a Mental Challenge Every Morning

Just as physical exercise is vital for the body, mental stimulation is crucial for the brain. People who maintain sharp minds often begin their day with an intellectual challenge.

Activities such as crossword puzzles, Sudoku, reading a book, or learning new vocabulary in a foreign language help strengthen neural connections and enhance cognitive abilities.

The brain thrives on novelty and problem-solving, and research has shown that regularly engaging in mentally stimulating activities reduces the risk of cognitive decline. Dedicating just ten to fifteen minutes in the morning to such activities helps keep the mind alert and engaged.

  1. They Get Exposure to Morning Sunlight

Spending time outside in the morning is not just refreshing—it plays a role in maintaining brain function.

Morning sunlight regulates the body’s internal clock, improving sleep quality and boosting daytime alertness. It also stimulates serotonin production, a neurotransmitter crucial for mood regulation, concentration, and overall cognitive function.

Even a brief exposure of 10 to 15 minutes to natural light can have a significant impact. Whether by sipping coffee near a sunny window, taking a short walk, or sitting outdoors, getting early morning sunlight contributes to long-term mental clarity.

  1. They Incorporate Mindfulness or Meditation

Stress negatively affects the brain, impairing memory, concentration, and cognitive health. To counter this, many individuals who stay mentally sharp incorporate mindfulness or meditation into their morning routines.

Spending just a few minutes in quiet reflection, focusing on breathing, or practicing gratitude can lower stress levels and improve mental clarity. Research indicates that meditation can even increase gray matter in the brain, which is essential for learning and memory.

The practice does not have to be complex—deep breathing exercises, journaling, or simply enjoying a peaceful moment with a cup of tea can create a calm and focused mindset for the day ahead.

  1. They Stay Connected with Loved Ones

Mental sharpness is influenced not only by diet and exercise but also by social connections.

Those who maintain strong cognitive function as they age make an effort to interact with others daily. A quick phone call to a friend, breakfast with a spouse, or a friendly exchange with a neighbor helps keep the brain engaged.

Human connection enhances mood, fosters a sense of purpose, and prevents feelings of isolation. In contrast, loneliness has been associated with cognitive decline and memory problems.

Taking a few moments in the morning to connect with others—whether through conversation, laughter, or shared experiences—is one of the most impactful habits for both mental and emotional well-being.

  1. They Avoid Starting the Day with Negativity

For a long time, mornings began with scrolling through news updates or checking emails. Unknowingly, this habit introduced stress before the day had even started.

People who stay mentally sharp are mindful of what they allow into their mornings. Instead of immediately engaging with social media, distressing news, or overwhelming tasks, they prioritize positive activities—reading an uplifting book, listening to music, or simply enjoying a moment of quiet.

The initial moments of the day shape overall mental and emotional states. Protecting this time from negativity does not mean ignoring real-world concerns but rather choosing to begin the day with a clear and composed mindset rather than stress and distraction.

  1. They Maintain a Consistent Sleep Schedule

A well-functioning mind depends on adequate rest. Those who remain mentally agile prioritize sleep, and this starts with a regular wake-up time.

Waking up at the same time every day helps regulate the body’s internal clock, leading to improved sleep quality at night. Restful sleep is crucial for memory retention, concentration, and overall brain performance.

It is not just about clocking in a certain number of hours but about establishing a routine that allows the brain to recharge efficiently. A consistent sleep schedule promotes clearer thinking, a better mood, and long-term cognitive health.

  1. They Approach Each Day with Curiosity

Individuals who stay sharp well into their 70s and beyond never stop learning. They wake up each day with a sense of curiosity about the world, the people around them, and their own potential for growth.

They actively seek out new knowledge, ask questions, and explore unfamiliar ideas. Whether trying out a new hobby, experimenting with a different cuisine, or researching a topic of interest, they continually challenge their minds.

Staying mentally sharp is not just about preserving what has already been learned—it is about remaining open to new discoveries and experiences.

By integrating these nine morning habits into daily life, anyone can support long-term cognitive function, enhance focus, and promote overall mental well-being as they age.

10 Subtle Signs Your Partner Loves You Deeply

Love doesn’t always come with grand declarations or dramatic gestures. Sometimes, it reveals itself in the smallest, most understated ways—things that can easily go unnoticed unless we’re paying close attention.

Not everyone expresses love the same way. Just because your partner doesn’t frequently say “I love you” doesn’t mean they don’t feel it just as deeply.

Psychology suggests that love often manifests in unexpected forms. If you know what to look for, you may realize your partner has been demonstrating their affection all along.

Here are ten subtle but powerful signs that indicate your partner loves you deeply—even if you haven’t noticed them yet.

They pay attention to the little things

Love is not just about grand gestures; it’s often found in the smallest details.

Perhaps your partner knows exactly how you like your coffee or senses when you’re having a tough day before you even say a word. These small but meaningful actions demonstrate attentiveness and show that they truly see you and care about your well-being.

Psychologists refer to this as attunement—the ability to be emotionally in sync with someone. When your partner picks up on these little things, it’s a strong sign that they are deeply connected to you and invested in your happiness.

They support you, even in small moments

Love isn’t just about being there for major life events—it’s about showing up in everyday situations.

Once, I was overwhelmed with work and casually mentioned that I hadn’t had time to eat lunch. I didn’t expect anything, but an hour later, my partner arrived with my favorite sandwich, no questions asked. They didn’t make a big deal about it; they simply wanted to help.

Psychologists emphasize that emotional support is one of the strongest indicators of deep love. It’s not about solving every problem—it’s about quietly making life easier and showing up when it matters.

They mirror your body language

People unconsciously mimic the body language of those they feel connected to. If your partner naturally mirrors your gestures, posture, or even speech patterns, it’s a strong indicator of a deep emotional bond.

This happens due to mirror neurons in the brain, which help build social connections by reflecting the emotions and actions of those around us.

If you notice your partner subtly adopting your habits or expressions, take it as a quiet but powerful sign of their love.

They prioritize your happiness

When someone truly loves you, your happiness matters to them just as much as their own.

This doesn’t mean they sacrifice their well-being, but rather that they genuinely care about the things that bring you joy. Maybe they watch a show they don’t particularly enjoy just because you love it, or they surprise you with your favorite snack without being asked.

Psychologists refer to this as compassionate love—where a partner finds fulfillment in making the other happy. If your partner consistently considers your feelings, it’s a clear sign of deep affection.

They make an effort to resolve conflicts

Disagreements are inevitable in any relationship, but what truly matters is how your partner handles them. Someone who loves you deeply doesn’t avoid difficult conversations or let problems linger; they actively work to find resolutions.

Rather than trying to “win” an argument, they focus on understanding your perspective and finding common ground. They listen, communicate calmly, and genuinely want to improve the situation instead of proving a point.

Psychologists call this constructive conflict resolution, a key trait of strong, lasting relationships. If your partner values your relationship more than their own pride, it’s a clear sign of their deep love.

They make you feel safe

Love isn’t just about passion or excitement—it’s about emotional security. When someone truly loves you, you don’t have to question where you stand with them. You don’t feel the need to prove your worth or constantly seek reassurance.

Their presence brings a sense of calm. You know that even on your worst days, they won’t turn away. They listen without judgment, support you without hesitation, and stand by you when life gets tough.

This kind of emotional safety is one of the deepest expressions of love. It means they love you not just at your best, but also in your most vulnerable moments.

They remember the things that matter to you

Love is often found in the details—the things you mention once and forget about, but your partner remembers because they know they matter to you.

Maybe you casually mentioned a childhood book you loved, and months later, they surprised you with a copy. Or they remember your favorite teacher’s name, the backstory of your favorite song, or how you take your tea—without ever needing to ask again.

It’s not about grand gestures; it’s about paying attention. When someone truly loves you, your words don’t just pass through them—they stay. Because to them, every part of you is worth remembering.

They challenge you

Love isn’t about agreeing on everything or making life easy. Sometimes, the deepest love comes from a partner who challenges you—even when it’s uncomfortable.

They don’t just tell you what you want to hear; they tell you what you need to hear. They call you out when you’re being unfair, push you to face your fears, and refuse to let you settle for less than you deserve.

This isn’t criticism—it’s care. A partner who challenges you isn’t trying to change who you are; they see your potential and want to help you reach it. That kind of love is rare, but it’s one of the strongest indicators that someone truly cares.

They include you in their future

When someone loves you deeply, they don’t just think about the present—they envision a future with you in it.

It’s evident in the small things, like saying “We should go there someday” when discussing a dream destination, or mentioning long-term plans with you in mind. They naturally use “we” instead of “I”, because to them, a future without you isn’t even a consideration.

Psychologists call this emotional commitment—the instinct to plan and build a life together. If your partner consistently includes you in their future, it’s a clear sign their love is deep and lasting.

They show up, over and over again

Love isn’t just about words or big gestures—it’s about consistency.

It’s in the way they’re there for you, not just when life is easy, but when it’s hard. When things go wrong, when you’re not at your best, when circumstances become messy—they stay. They choose you, not just once, but every single day.

Real love isn’t about perfection; it’s about presence. And the strongest sign that your partner loves you deeply is that, no matter what, they keep showing up.

Evening Habits That Make the Happiest People Stand Out

Ever notice how some individuals exude happiness despite not necessarily being wealthier, more accomplished, or leading flawless lives? They carry a sense of peace and joy that’s difficult to overlook.

This isn’t due to luck or some mysterious force—it’s a result of their daily habits.

How you spend your evenings significantly influences your overall well-being.

While many people end their days by endlessly scrolling through their phones or worrying about the next day, the happiest individuals engage in simple yet impactful nightly routines that set them up for a more fulfilling life.

If your goal is to wake up feeling more refreshed and content, these eight evening habits could be the secret to achieving that.

  1. They disconnect from screens before bedtime

Screens dominate modern life, from televisions and smartphones to tablets and laptops. While they facilitate connectivity, they also overstimulate the brain, making it challenging to unwind.

Those who consistently experience happiness recognize this and deliberately step away from screens at least an hour before sleeping.

Rather than spending their final moments of the day watching videos or scrolling through social media, they opt for activities that promote relaxation, such as reading, journaling, or engaging in meaningful conversations.

By distancing themselves from screens, they give their minds a chance to slow down, leading to improved sleep quality and a more tranquil end to the day.

  1. They focus on positive moments from the day

Many people go to bed replaying everything that went wrong—the awkward exchanges, workplace errors, or missed opportunities.

However, those who are generally happier refuse to let negativity dominate their thoughts before sleeping.

Each night, I take a few minutes to recall the day’s positive moments. Sometimes, these are major accomplishments, like completing an important project, while other times, they are small joys—a delicious cup of coffee or a stranger’s kind smile.

Initially, this practice felt unnatural because my mind was conditioned to dwell on stressful events. But over time, it reshaped my perspective.

Now, even on the most difficult days, I can find small moments of happiness—and this shift in mindset has greatly enhanced my overall well-being.

  1. They maintain a consistent sleep schedule

Quality sleep isn’t just about duration—it also depends on consistency. Those who are happier tend to wake up and go to bed at the same time daily, including weekends.

The human body operates on a natural rhythm, and frequently altering sleep patterns disrupts energy levels, mood stability, and the ability to manage stress effectively.

By sticking to a routine, the body instinctively prepares for rest and waking, making mornings feel like a fresh start rather than a struggle.

This doesn’t mean being overly rigid or never staying up late; rather, it’s about providing the body with the stability it needs to wake up feeling revitalized rather than drained.

  1. They engage in a calming pre-sleep routine

The activities performed in the final hour before bedtime set the tone for the next day. Happy individuals prioritize winding down with relaxing habits that signal their brain that it’s time to rest.

For some, this means reading a book. Others prefer meditation, light stretching, or listening to soothing music. Regardless of the specific activity, the goal is to slow down and detach from the day’s chaos.

By establishing a bedtime ritual that promotes relaxation, they not only enhance sleep quality but also create a peaceful moment in an otherwise hectic world.

This intentional approach to unwinding makes finding happiness feel more natural.

  1. They plan something enjoyable for the next day

I’ve observed that my most joyful days don’t happen randomly—they begin with preparation the night before. Before sleeping, I always try to schedule something small to look forward to the next day.

This doesn’t have to be anything extravagant. It could be as simple as planning to have a favorite breakfast, taking a walk in the park, or setting aside time for a beloved hobby.

Just knowing that something enjoyable awaits makes getting out of bed feel exciting rather than like an obligation.

Naturally, happy people do this effortlessly. They create small moments of anticipation, preventing life from becoming a monotonous cycle of stress and work. And honestly? It’s incredibly effective.

  1. They welcome moments of boredom instead of avoiding them

Most people go out of their way to escape boredom. The moment silence creeps in, they instinctively grab their phone, turn on the television, or find another distraction.

However, the happiest individuals do the opposite—they allow themselves to experience boredom.

Rather than filling every second with external stimulation, they make space for their thoughts to wander. This is when creativity flourishes, deep reflections emerge, and genuine relaxation occurs.

Constant distraction prevents the brain from processing the events of the day or simply existing in a state of peace.

By sitting with boredom, even briefly, they open themselves up to clarity, fresh ideas, and a tranquility that distractions simply cannot provide.

  1. They practice gratitude each night

Happiness isn’t about accumulating more—it’s about valuing what one already has. This is why consistently happy individuals integrate gratitude into their nightly routine.

Some document their gratitude in a journal, listing a few things they appreciate. Others take a quiet moment for reflection or express their thanks to loved ones. The method varies, but the practice remains consistent.

When you train your mind to focus on what’s going well rather than what’s lacking, your entire outlook transforms.

You begin noticing more positive aspects of life, feeling greater contentment, and understanding that happiness isn’t something to chase—it’s something to nurture.

  1. They don’t go to bed clinging to negativity

Going to sleep feeling angry, anxious, or overwhelmed doesn’t just impact that night—it carries into the following day. Happier individuals make a conscious effort to release negativity before resting.

They choose to forgive—whether it’s someone else or themselves. They remind themselves that tomorrow presents a fresh start. They refuse to let a single bad experience ruin their night and subsequently, their next day.

This doesn’t mean ignoring problems, but rather, not allowing them to occupy unnecessary mental space when rest is the priority.

Why happiness starts the night before

If you’ve read this far, you’ve likely realized that happiness isn’t solely determined by life events—it’s shaped by how you set yourself up for it.

The way you conclude your day influences how you experience the following one. Consistently practicing small yet meaningful habits can be the difference between waking up feeling exhausted and waking up ready to embrace the day.

Happiness isn’t something that just happens—it’s cultivated in quiet moments, through the choices made when no one is watching, and in the way you care for yourself before closing your eyes each night.

Three Subtle Yet Powerful Ways to Make Your Partner Feel Deeply Loved

When people think of romantic love, they often picture grand gestures, intense passion, or an immediate spark. However, a 2024 study published in the Journal of Psychology suggests that love is far more than these fleeting moments.

Researchers sought to understand what specific actions made individuals feel most loved in their relationships. Their findings highlighted three key behaviors—often overlooked yet profoundly impactful.

Be Responsive to Their Needs

A major way people feel loved is when their needs are met through “positive responsiveness.” Research indicates that when individuals perceive their partners as caring, validating, and supportive, their relationship satisfaction increases. It’s not about granting every request but rather about demonstrating genuine care, affection, and encouragement.

The study found that people feel most loved when their partners exhibit three types of positive responsiveness:

  • Displaying Affection: Affection can take many forms, from a warm embrace to a heartfelt text. Grand romantic displays aren’t necessary; instead, small, consistent gestures communicate love. Holding hands, making eye contact during conversations, offering sincere compliments, or surprising a partner with a thoughtful note or gift are all meaningful ways to express affection.
  • Providing Support: Being a supportive partner extends beyond difficult times; it includes actively contributing to each other’s well-being. Emotional support might involve respecting a partner’s independence, providing words of encouragement, or simply being a dependable presence. Tangible support, like assisting with daily tasks, running errands, or offering advice when needed, also fosters a sense of love and security.
  • Enhancing Their Sense of Worth: A crucial way to make someone feel cherished is by helping them recognize their own value. This goes beyond occasional compliments. It’s about consistently appreciating and prioritizing them. Recognizing their achievements—big or small—showing respect for their opinions, and making them feel seen and appreciated all play a role. Participants shared how their partners demonstrated this, such as by offering “constant reminders that I am beautiful inside and out” or by going “out of their way to do things that I love, even if they do not.”

Lean Into Your Authentic Connection

Another fundamental way to ensure a partner feels loved is by fostering an authentic connection. This means being genuine in interactions, regularly checking in with each other, and prioritizing quality time together.

Participants identified two primary ways in which partners nurtured an authentic connection:

  • Cultivating Mutual Affinity: Love flourishes when two people genuinely enjoy being together—not out of obligation, but because they want to share experiences. This could involve engaging in deep conversations, planning a future together, or setting aside time for regular activities as a couple. Something as simple as scheduling a weekly date night without distractions can reinforce closeness.
  • Being in Sync Emotionally: A strong relationship is built on understanding. Feeling loved often stems from being heard, validated, and deeply understood. This requires active listening, empathy, and attentiveness to each other’s thoughts and feelings. For example, if a partner expresses anxiety about an upcoming work presentation, following up afterward to ask how it went shows emotional engagement.

As the researchers noted, “People (felt) loved when both partners’ feelings and thoughts were in sync with each other, such that the two parties become mentally one.”

Offer a Strong Sense of Stability

Finally, one of the most powerful ways to foster love is by providing a relationship built on trust and security. When people know their partners are reliable and steadfast, they feel valued and safe, even in difficult moments.

The study found that deep feelings of love often arose from experiencing this kind of stability. Here’s how to cultivate it:

  • Being Dependable: Reliability is about ensuring a partner can trust in one’s consistency. This doesn’t mean being flawless, but rather following through on promises, being honest, and providing support when needed. Even small gestures—like checking in with a quick message during a busy day or remembering meaningful dates—can reinforce dependability.
  • Demonstrating Unwavering Love: True love is not conditional. It doesn’t come with rigid expectations or requirements. It involves accepting a partner wholeheartedly, embracing both their strengths and flaws, and standing by them through both triumphs and challenges. For instance, if a partner is struggling with self-doubt or has made a mistake, offering kindness instead of criticism can strengthen the emotional bond. This fosters an environment where both individuals feel free to be their authentic selves without fear of judgment or rejection.

The beauty of these behaviors is that they do not require perfection—only genuine effort, intentionality, and consistency. At its core, love is about fostering a space where both partners feel safe, appreciated, and valued.

As the study suggests, making a partner feel loved doesn’t require elaborate or grand gestures. Instead, it’s the quiet, consistent moments of care—being present, showing kindness, and remaining dependable—that truly define a loving relationship.

Ultimately, these small, everyday actions don’t just make a partner feel loved. They create the foundation for a relationship where love is reciprocated, deepened, and continually nurtured.

Nine Morning Habits That Lead to a Happier Retirement

Retirement isn’t just about having more leisure time—it’s about making the most of life in a fulfilling way. Observing retirees who are truly happy, it’s clear they share certain morning habits that help them start their days with energy and purpose.

The way a person begins their morning influences the rest of their day. Some wake up feeling sluggish or uncertain about how to spend their time, while others approach the morning with enthusiasm. The difference lies in simple yet effective habits that promote happiness, health, and a sense of fulfillment.

For those looking to enhance their retirement experience, here are nine morning habits practiced by the happiest retirees.

They wake up with gratitude

One common trait among content retirees is their appreciation for the morning. Rather than immediately focusing on problems or responsibilities, they begin their day with gratitude.

This doesn’t require anything elaborate—just a moment to acknowledge something positive in life. It could be their health, the presence of loved ones, or simply the opportunity to enjoy another day.

Research indicates that practicing gratitude contributes to greater happiness and well-being. Making it a daily habit in the morning establishes a positive mindset that carries through the day.

For a more fulfilling retirement, start by valuing what’s already present in life.

They start the day with movement

Many assume mornings should be slow and relaxed—sleeping in, sipping coffee, and easing into the day. However, those who incorporate movement early on often find themselves feeling better both physically and mentally.

Incorporating movement into the morning doesn’t have to be strenuous. A short neighborhood walk, some light stretching, or yoga can be beneficial. One retiree swears by a morning swim, while another finds joy in tending to her garden.

Happy retirees don’t spend their mornings being sedentary. They engage in physical activity, even if only briefly, as it helps wake them up, lifts their mood, and provides energy for the rest of the day.

For a more vibrant retirement, consider adding some form of movement to the morning routine. The impact can be surprisingly significant.

They have a morning routine (but keep it flexible)

Successful retirees maintain a morning routine, but they avoid rigid schedules. Instead, they establish a flow to their mornings that feels natural and enjoyable.

A morning routine creates stability and sets the tone for the day. Studies show that people who follow regular routines experience lower stress and improved well-being. However, too much structure can be overwhelming, so the key is finding a balance.

Some retirees start their day with a quiet cup of coffee on the porch, while others prefer reading, journaling, or planning out their day. The specifics are less important than the overall effect—creating a sense of calm, purpose, and positivity that lasts throughout the day.

They connect with loved ones

Retirees who are happiest make an effort to connect with important people in their lives each morning. Whether it’s a quick phone call to a friend, breakfast with a spouse, or exchanging messages with family, starting the day with connection fosters warmth and belonging.

Strong social ties are linked to longer lifespans and better mental health. In fact, studies suggest that maintaining close relationships is just as vital for longevity as diet and exercise.

Without intentional effort, retirement can sometimes feel isolating. Taking time each morning to reach out to loved ones strengthens relationships and provides a sense of closeness that carries through the day.

They spend time outdoors

Retirees who prioritize happiness understand the benefits of fresh air and sunlight. Whether it’s a morning walk, enjoying coffee outside, or gardening, being outdoors improves mood and energy levels.

Exposure to natural light in the morning helps regulate the body’s internal clock, promoting better sleep and overall well-being. It also enhances vitamin D levels, which are crucial for bone health, immune function, and mood stability.

Even a few minutes outside can make a difference. Feeling the sun on the skin, breathing in fresh air, and hearing nature’s sounds contribute to a sense of peace that lasts throughout the day.

They take a moment for reflection

Instead of rushing into their day, happy retirees pause to reflect and set their intentions. This may involve meditation, prayer, journaling, or simply sitting quietly with their thoughts.

Retirement offers the gift of time—after years of obligations, there’s finally an opportunity to slow down and savor life in a more meaningful way. Spending a few moments each morning reflecting on past experiences, the present moment, and future aspirations can provide clarity and peace.

This practice isn’t about dwelling on past regrets or future worries but rather about being fully present. A brief moment of morning reflection fosters gratitude, purpose, and fulfillment that lasts throughout the day.

They focus on what they can control

At one point, mornings felt overwhelming—filled with thoughts of things beyond control, concerns about the future, and regrets from the past. It took time to recognize how much energy was being wasted on uncontrollable factors.

Happy retirees avoid fixating on things they cannot change. Instead, they concentrate on what’s within their power—their choices, attitude, and how they spend their day. Letting go of the need for control brings a deep sense of peace.

Each morning presents a fresh start, offering a chance to prioritize what truly matters. Approaching the day with this mindset makes everything feel lighter and more manageable.

They engage their mind

A fulfilling retirement isn’t just about staying physically active—it also involves keeping the mind engaged. Happy retirees incorporate mental stimulation into their mornings, whether through reading, crossword puzzles, writing, or learning something new.

Mental engagement is linked to improved cognitive function and a reduced risk of memory decline. It doesn’t require anything complex; the key is to remain curious and give the brain a task to focus on.

Starting the day with some form of intellectual activity builds momentum, sharpens the mind, and fosters a sense of accomplishment before the day has fully begun.

They wake up with a sense of purpose

The happiest retirees don’t simply fill their schedules with activities—they wake up each morning with a reason to get out of bed. Whether through hobbies, passion projects, volunteering, or supporting family and friends, they have something that gives their days meaning.

Retirement isn’t just an extended vacation; it’s a new phase of life. Those who embrace it wholeheartedly find joy in having something to look forward to each day.

By adopting these nine habits, retirees can create mornings that bring happiness, health, and fulfillment—ultimately leading to a richer and more rewarding retirement.

The Lasting Impact of Words: Seven Phrases That May Be Hurting Your Child More Than You Think

At times, we say things without giving them much thought. A casual remark here, a quick comment there—it might seem harmless in the moment.

However, when it comes to children, certain words leave a deeper impact than we realize. Psychological research suggests that even offhand comments can influence a child’s self-esteem, confidence, and worldview.

The good news? A little mindfulness can make a big difference. By being aware of specific phrases, we can foster a more positive and supportive environment for our children to thrive.

Here are seven seemingly harmless comments that may be affecting your child negatively—and alternatives that can be more constructive.

  1. “You’re too sensitive”

Children experience emotions deeply, which is a positive trait. However, when we dismiss their feelings by saying, “You’re too sensitive,” we imply that their emotions are invalid.

Studies suggest that disregarding a child’s emotions can lead them to question their own experiences. Over time, they may suppress their feelings rather than learning to manage them in a healthy way.

Instead of minimizing their emotions, acknowledge them: “I can see that really upset you. Want to talk about it?” This approach reassures children that their emotions matter while helping them express their feelings constructively.

  1. “Why can’t you be more like your sibling?”

Many children have experienced this comparison, and its sting can last for years. One child may excel academically, while another might struggle with organization. When a parent compares them, it does not inspire improvement; instead, it fosters feelings of inadequacy.

Psychologists caution that such comparisons can harm self-esteem and create unnecessary rivalry. Instead of encouraging better performance, they often lead to resentment and self-doubt.

A more positive approach is to celebrate each child’s strengths. Rather than comparing, say, “I love the way you think creatively” or “I appreciate how hard you worked on that.” Every child is unique, and recognizing their individuality helps them develop confidence.

  1. “I’m disappointed in you”

Disappointment carries a significant emotional weight, especially when it comes from a parent.

Research indicates that children are wired to seek approval from their caregivers. Hearing “I’m disappointed in you” may make them feel they have failed as a person rather than simply made a mistake.

Rather than guiding them toward growth, such comments can instill shame and self-doubt. Over time, children who hear this frequently may develop anxiety about making mistakes or struggle with perfectionism.

A more effective response shifts the focus to learning: “That wasn’t the best choice, but let’s talk about how you can handle it better in the future.” This keeps the emphasis on problem-solving rather than guilt.

  1. “Stop crying, it’s not a big deal”

A broken toy or a lost game may seem trivial to an adult, but for a child, it can feel devastating. When parents say, “Stop crying, it’s not a big deal,” they send the message that the child’s emotions are unimportant.

Over time, this can lead to emotional suppression. Studies show that children who feel their emotions are validated develop greater resilience and emotional intelligence later in life.

Rather than dismissing their feelings, acknowledge them: “I see that you’re really upset. Do you want to talk about it?” This approach helps children feel understood while teaching them how to manage their emotions effectively.

  1. “You always mess things up”

Making mistakes is a natural part of growing up. However, when a child hears, “You always mess things up,” they may begin to believe they are incapable of doing things right. Even if said in frustration, such words can linger long after the moment has passed.

Repeated exposure to this message can lead to a child giving up altogether. They may start thinking, Why try if I’m just going to fail anyway? Instead of fostering improvement, it instills fear—fear of failure, fear of disappointment, and fear of never measuring up.

A more constructive response focuses on effort and learning: “That didn’t go as planned, but what can we do differently next time?” Encouraging children to learn from mistakes builds resilience and confidence.

  1. “Because I said so”

Nearly every parent has used this phrase at some point—it’s quick, it ends the conversation, and sometimes, it just feels easier.

However, constantly relying on “Because I said so” denies children the opportunity to understand the reasoning behind rules and boundaries.

Psychologists suggest that when children comprehend the purpose behind a rule, they are more likely to follow it—not just out of obedience, but because they recognize its value.

Conversely, if they are only taught to obey without question, they may struggle with critical thinking and decision-making as they grow older.

Instead of shutting down the conversation, try providing a simple explanation: “You can’t stay up late because your body needs rest to feel good tomorrow.” This approach helps children feel respected while teaching them to make thoughtful decisions.

  1. “I wish you were more like…”

Few words hurt more than feeling like you are not enough. When a child hears, “I wish you were more like…”—whether referring to a sibling, a friend, or even a younger version of themselves—it reinforces the idea that they are not good enough as they are.

This can result in lifelong self-doubt, people-pleasing tendencies, and a constant need for external validation. Instead of feeling motivated to improve, they may start believing that love and acceptance are conditional—that they must become someone else to be valued.

Every child deserves to feel appreciated for who they are rather than compared to who they could be.

The lasting impact of words

The way we speak to our children becomes the inner voice they carry into adulthood.

Arthur C. Brooks’ Guide to Happiness: The Science of Joyful Living

Happiness isn’t something that simply happens overnight. Joy and positivity require practice, and few understand the science behind it better than Arthur C. Brooks.

Arthur’s expertise in cultivating happiness has made his course at Harvard University the most in-demand class at the prestigious business school. “I have about 180 students, with over 400 students on the waiting list,” he told HELLO! “There’s even a secret Zoom link for it that the students think I don’t know about.”

With an increasing focus on living a more purposeful, joyful, and contented life, Arthur believes social media has played a major role in this shift. “But I’m not going to suggest to my students to get rid of social media, because I’m also never going to do that,” he said. “But I do tell them they must try to limit their screen time, don’t look at their phone first thing, and make sure they only follow accounts that make them happy.”

Citing a study by LG Electronics, Arthur pointed out that “half of social media feeds have more negative content than positive, which is why our anxiety and unhappiness levels are creeping up.” He emphasized that establishing a disciplined morning routine has never been more essential. “It gets you off your phone and sets your day right,” he explained.

A Three-Step Formula for Happiness

Arthur outlined a straightforward approach to becoming happier. “To get happier, you need to do three things, and they do not involve downloading an app or taking a pill,” he stated. These steps include understanding the science of happiness, improving daily habits, and making a commitment to long-term lifestyle changes.

“The science of happiness is often surprising,” Arthur said, adding that the final step is sharing these ideas with others. “Most importantly, share the ideas with other people so that you’re committed to and can remember the things yourself,” he advised.

Arthur himself follows a disciplined daily routine that ensures he maintains what he calls “proper happiness hygiene.” “It’s not about having the most special thing or getting the perfect hammock or self-care or any of that nonsense,” he said. Instead, it’s about sticking to scientifically backed protocols that provide a strong foundation for sustained happiness.

The Power of a Morning Routine

Arthur firmly believes that discipline is at the core of self-care. “It’s not about the traditional self-care, which usually means taking it easy by having a bath or lighting a candle… No. Self-care is not taking it easy. Self-care is being disciplined about the things that really work and things that really matter, and that starts first thing in the morning,” he explained.

Regardless of where he is, Arthur adheres to the same morning schedule. “No matter what time zone I’m in, I get up before dawn. I work out. I go to mass. I always start the day in the same way,” he shared.

His approach aligns with an ancient Vedic concept known as Brahma Muhurta, which is also supported by modern neuroscience. “If you get up before dawn, you’re going to have better mental acuity, creativity, and focus for the rest of the day,” Arthur explained. He encouraged people to embrace early mornings, even if they consider themselves night owls. “Yes! This means that you should get up when it’s still dark. And I know, people are like, ‘But I’m a night person,’ and I say, ‘No. You’re not. No. You’re a morning person. You’re just undisciplined.’”

The Role of Physical Activity

Arthur emphasized the importance of exercise in managing mood and stress. “The single best way for you to manage your moods, which tend to be highest when you wake up in the morning as your stress hormones are peaking, is vigorous exercise. So get up before dawn and beat it up,” he advised.

While some might find simple activities like walking beneficial, Arthur takes a more intense approach. “For you, it might be walking, but for me, I have to really get uncomfortable to put myself in my happy place,” he said. “So I get up at 4:30 a.m., and at 4:45 until 5:45 a.m., I exercise very heavy.”

His workout routine involves high-intensity training and resistance exercises. “A lot of resistance and a lot of high-intensity exercise really helps me to manage my stress hormones and my anxiety responses over the course of the day,” he explained.

Nurturing the Soul

After exercising, Arthur prioritizes spiritual and mental well-being. “After exercising, I’m working on my soul,” he said. As a traditionally religious person, his routine includes daily mass. “I go to mass every morning from 6:30 a.m. to 7 a.m., which helps me start the day calm and focused.”

For those who aren’t religious, Arthur suggested alternative methods of soul care. “For somebody else, working on your soul might mean meditation, journaling, or even listening to music or daydreaming on social media,” he said. However, he cautioned against mindless scrolling. “Make sure you’re scrolling on happy accounts. Look out for happy playlists like this one on TikTok to bring optimism to your feed.”

Embracing Unhappiness as Part of Life

Arthur stressed that feeling unhappy at times is natural and doesn’t necessarily mean something is wrong. “Happiness and unhappiness are not opposites,” he explained. Instead, they require different approaches. “But you have to manage them separately. You want to raise your happiness, and you want to manage your unhappiness.”

He warned against the common misconception that eradicating unhappiness should be the goal. “You don’t want to eradicate your unhappiness—that’s a big mistake because there’s nothing wrong with you for feeling unhappy,” he said. “It’s natural, you just need to manage it by getting your routine right. That’s the bottom line.”

Arthur’s approach to happiness is rooted in scientific research and practical strategies, proving that joy isn’t something we stumble upon—it’s something we cultivate through discipline, intentionality, and shared wisdom.

6 Habits to Let Go for a Happier Life in Your 70s and Beyond

Have you ever wondered what it takes to lead a truly fulfilling and happy life as you grow older? For many, the key to happiness lies not in adding more to life but in letting go of certain habits that quietly undermine well-being over time. These behaviors may seem harmless initially, but recognizing and releasing them can significantly improve your future quality of life.

Here are six habits to leave behind as you age, paving the way for a brighter and more joyful future.

1) Worrying About the Past

One of the biggest obstacles to happiness later in life is dwelling on the past. Obsessing over regrets, mistakes, or missed opportunities often robs us of the joy available in the present. While reflecting on life can be a positive way to learn from experiences and appreciate the journey, it becomes harmful when it turns into remorse or regret.

As the saying goes, “The past is a place of reference, not residence.” By focusing on the present and looking forward to the future, you can free yourself from the burden of what’s behind you.

2) Neglecting Physical Health

Taking care of your physical health becomes increasingly important with age. Neglecting it can severely impact energy levels, mood, and overall happiness.

A personal story illustrates this point. A man in his 70s stopped prioritizing his health—he skipped exercise, ate poorly, and ignored routine medical check-ups. This led to declining energy and a negative impact on his well-being. Recognizing the need for change, he began walking daily, eating better, and attending regular health check-ups. The result? Improved energy levels, a healthier body, and a more positive outlook on life.

Taking care of your physical health is a non-negotiable aspect of a happy and fulfilling life, no matter your age.

3) Holding Onto Grudges

It’s natural to feel upset or hurt when someone wrongs you, but holding onto resentment can cause lasting harm. According to Healthline, “Holding a grudge may increase your chances of experiencing anxiety, depression, and other mental health conditions.”

Forgiveness doesn’t mean condoning bad behavior or forgetting the incident—it’s about freeing yourself from the emotional burden of resentment. Forgiveness, whether expressed outwardly or practiced internally, is a powerful tool for growth and happiness.

Life is too short to let old wounds overshadow your joy. Choose to make peace with the past and focus on moments that matter.

4) Avoiding New Experiences

As we grow older, it’s easy to fall into routines and avoid stepping out of our comfort zones. However, avoiding new experiences can limit personal growth and reduce happiness.

Trying new things—whether traveling, learning a skill, or even experimenting with a new recipe—adds excitement and joy to life. It also keeps the mind sharp and fosters creativity.

Life is an adventure, no matter your age. Embrace it, and you’lllikely discover new sources of happiness and fulfillment.

5) Isolating Oneself

Social isolation is a significant issue among older adults, with approximately one-quarter of older Americans experiencing it. The CDC warns that isolation can lead to depression, anxiety, heart disease, and even premature death.

Human beings are inherently social, and maintaining connections becomes even more crucial in later years. While physical limitations or retirement can make isolation more likely, taking proactive steps to stay connected—such as joining local groups, volunteering, or reaching out to friends and family—can make a world of difference.

Loneliness doesn’t have to define your later years. Invest in relationships, prioritize your social life, and remain open to forming new connections. A little effort can go a long way in keeping your heart full and your life meaningful.

6) Neglecting Self-Care

Neglecting self-care can have profound effects on mental and physical health. As noted by Psych Central, a lack of self-care can lead to low energy, feelings of hopelessness, and a diminished motivation to engage with others.

Self-care involves more than occasional indulgences; it means prioritizing your physical, mental, and emotional needs. Nourish your body with healthy food, stay active, take time to relax, and engage in activities that bring you joy.

Remember, self-care isn’t selfish—it’s essential. You can’t pour from an empty cup, and investing in your well-being ensures you’re in the best position to enjoy life and connect with others.

The Bottom Line

Happiness in your 70s and beyond isn’tjust about what you do—it’s also about what you let go of. By shedding these six habits, you can make space for joy, connection, and fulfillment in your later years.

It’s never too late to start making changes. Begin today, and gift your future self the happiness and peace you deserve.

Steve Jobs’ Timeless Advice on High Performance: Empowering Self-Managing Employees

In a 1985 interview, Steve Jobs shared an insightful approach to hiring and managing employees, emphasizing the importance of surrounding oneself with highly capable, creative, and intelligent individuals. His perspective on hiring has since become a cornerstone for leaders aiming to build effective teams. However, Jobs offered more than advice on recruiting the right talent; he provided a leadership lesson that remains underappreciated to this day.

Once these exceptional individuals join the team, empowering them through a rare but simple management strategy can transform their potential into high performance. Jobs captured the essence of this strategy when he said:

“The greatest people are self-managing; they don’t need to be managed.”

The Connection Between Self-Management and High Performance

Jobs’ assertion is bold yet crucial for fostering innovation and results. He firmly believed in assembling a team of self-motivated individuals capable of taking initiative, solving problems independently, and achieving outcomes without constant supervision.

For leaders and small business founders, this concept is particularly relevant. Many dream of hiring team members who intuitively understand their roles, take ownership of their responsibilities, and execute tasks without requiring frequent guidance. While it may seem challenging to create such a team, it is achievable by rethinking leadership and embracing self-management as a cultural norm.

Let’s explore why supporting a self-managing workforce can benefit your organization and how this approach can be implemented effectively.

The Benefits of Self-Managing Teams

  1. Boosting Innovation and Agility

Empowering employees with autonomy encourages creativity and swift decision-making. Self-managing employees thrive in environments where they are trusted to act on their instincts, which can be a significant advantage in fast-paced industries. By stepping back, leaders allow these high performers to experiment, solve problems, and innovate.

Jobs famously articulated this principle:

“It doesn’t make sense to hire smart people and tell them what to do; we hire smart people so they can tell us what to do.”

This approach fosters an environment where employees feel confident taking bold actions and pursuing big ideas, ultimately driving the organization forward. Research supports this, indicating that autonomy enhances problem-solving and innovation.

  1. Freeing Up Managers for Strategic Work

Micromanagement often drains time and energy, leaving managers preoccupied with minor details rather than strategic objectives. In contrast, self-managing employees handle day-to-day execution, freeing leaders to focus on long-term goals and organizational vision.

Managers who resist the urge to control every aspect of their team’s work empower employees to take ownership. This shift benefits both parties: managers can dedicate their efforts to “why” and “what’s next,” while employees develop confidence and competence in handling the “how.”

  1. Enhancing Employee Engagement and Retention

Trusting employees to manage their own work significantly impacts engagement. In one instance, an executive reviewed their company’s engagement scores, which were alarmingly low. The survey revealed that a lack of managerial trust in employees was a key factor.

Autonomy is a critical driver of engagement. When employees feel trusted, they are more motivated and invested in their work. This sense of ownership fosters loyalty and reduces turnover. As Jobs’ philosophy suggests, companies that value and empower their employees see stronger commitment, higher performance, and lower attrition rates.

Building a Self-Managing Culture

Creating a self-managing team requires intentionality. Leaders must shift their focus from control to trust, setting clear expectations and providing employees with the tools and support they need to succeed. By fostering an environment where employees feel empowered, businesses can unlock their teams’ full potential, much like Jobs did at Apple.

The key takeaway from Jobs’ timeless advice is that great leaders don’t simply manage talent—they trust it, nurture it, and allow it to flourish.

AAPI, Heartfulness Meditation, American Heart Association Organize  Seminar on Lifestyle Modifications in Chronic Disease Treatment & CPR Training

The American Association of Physicians of Indian Origin (AAPI), the largest ethnic medical organization in the country, representing the interests of over 120,000 physicians of Indian origin, has been focusing on ways to help AAPI members, who have been in the forefront helping millions of patients around the nation, to take care of self and find satisfaction and happiness in the challenging situations they are in, while serving hundreds of patients everyday of their dedicated and noble profession, Dr. Satheesh Kathula, President of AAPI said.

IMG 3249In this context, The American Association of Physicians of Indian Origin (AAPI), in collaboration with Heartfulness Meditation and the American Heart Association, embarked on a mission to educate and train its members and provide opportunities to promote self-care, improve physician wellness, and reduce burnout, with focus on lifestyle modifications in the treatment of chronic diseases, including cancer, at Kanha Shanti Vanam in Hyderabad, Telangana, India on January 19, 2025.

“Our physician members work very hard everyday, providing the best healthcare to their patients across the United States. The Heartfulness Meditation has allowed AAPI to serve these hard working members, who have dedicated their lives to the cause of healing.  It is a perfect time to heal the healers with a special focus on wellness as we rejuvenate and relax,” said Dr. Satheesh Kathula, who, along with several AAPI members visited and experienced Heartfulness Meditation at the Kanha Shantivanam on the outskirts of Hyderabad, during the Indo-US Scientific  Convention  organized by AAPI in January this year.

The event began with a meditation session led by Daaji, followed by Dr. Murthy Gokula’s presentation on “8 Habits for Highly Effective Health and Happiness.” Dr. Satheesh Kathula then led a session on “Cancer and Lifestyle Modification.” Approximately 400 attendees, including several AAPI leaders, participated in the seminar.

During the event, four AEDs were donated to the Heartfulness Medical Center, with funds raised by a group of AAPI members. Additionally, a Memorandum of Understanding (MOU) was signed between AAPI and Heartfulness, launching the “HAAPI” project (Heartfulness and AAPI), aimed at fostering mutual benefits in education, research, and clinical work.

Practicing yoga and meditation has been shown to decrease stress, fatigue, and alleviate chronic pains, as well as improving physical fitness.

CPR training was also provided to over 300 individuals, in collaboration with the American Heart Association and the All India Institute of Medical Sciences (AIIMS), Mangalagiri, AP, India.

The event was conceived and organized by Dr. Satheesh Kathula, the Heartfulness Meditation Center, Daaji and his associates, Drs. Vemuri Murthy, Ranga Reddy, AIIMS-Mangalagiri, Dr. Murthy Gokula, and Dr. Dwarakanatha Reddy, President of the Indian Medical Association, Telangana.

What Men Truly Value in a Relationship: Insights from Psychology

When it comes to relationships, men may not always articulate their needs openly, but research reveals consistent traits they value deeply in their partners. While physical attraction and chemistry play a role, the foundation of a meaningful relationship lies in emotional connection, trust, and mutual respect. These qualities foster a sense of appreciation, support, and understanding, which are essential for a lasting bond.

As a relationship expert and founder of the Love Connection blog, I’ve observed that the qualities men value most in their partners align with emotional intelligence, independence, and trustworthiness. Here are seven key traits that psychology identifies as critical for a fulfilling relationship.

  1. Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence is a cornerstone of a strong relationship. A partner with emotional intelligence doesn’t just listen but genuinely understands the underlying emotions behind what is said. This ability to pick up on subtle cues, respond with empathy, and communicate thoughtfully helps diffuse conflicts and fosters open dialogue.

Men value this trait because it creates a safe emotional space. An emotionally intelligent partner avoids impulsive reactions, listens without jumping to conclusions, and expresses feelings constructively. This kind of understanding builds trust, enabling men to open up without fear of being judged or criticized.

“A relationship built on emotional intelligence is one that lasts because both partners feel seen, heard, and valued,” highlights the importance of this quality.

  1. Supportiveness

Supportiveness, especially during challenging times, is another quality men deeply appreciate. A supportive partner boosts a man’s sense of self-worth and happiness by standing by him and believing in his dreams and ambitions.

As I’ve observed in counseling sessions, men value having someone who is their cheerleader, providing encouragement and standing as a steady pillar in times of adversity. “After all, we all need a cheerleader in our corner, don’t we?”

  1. Independence

Independence may seem counterintuitive, but it is a trait that men admire in their partners. Men respect women who have their own goals, friendships, and passions, as it reflects confidence and self-sufficiency. This doesn’t mean creating distance but striking a healthy balance between individuality and connection.

In my book Breaking the Attachment: How to Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, I explore the importance of cultivating independence while fostering interdependence. A strong sense of identity outside the relationship allows both partners to bring their best selves into the partnership, creating a healthier and more balanced dynamic.

  1. Vulnerability

Contrary to the belief that men only value strength and independence, vulnerability is a trait they deeply cherish. A partner who is open about their emotions fosters trust and intimacy. Being vulnerable signals that one trusts their partner enough to show their authentic self.

Vulnerability strengthens the bond between partners by allowing them to connect on a deeper emotional level. “It’s about letting your guard down and not being afraid to show that you’re human too,” encourages embracing moments of vulnerability to deepen the relationship.

  1. Humor

A shared sense of humor can add joy and lightness to a relationship. Humor helps partners navigate life’s challenges with a positive outlook and strengthens their bond through shared laughter.

Psychological research supports the idea that humor is a desirable trait in relationships. “Laughter is the shortest distance between two people,” emphasizing the power of humor in fostering connection.

From personal experience, I’ve seen how humor can be a game-changer. My husband often tells me it was my sense of humor that initially drew him to me, underscoring the significance of this trait in building a joyful partnership.

  1. Physical Attraction

While physical attraction isn’t everything, it does play a role in relationships. Men value partners who take care of themselves—not for superficial reasons but because self-confidence and self-care are inherently attractive qualities.

It’s not solely about appearances but also the way someone carries themselves, smiles, and engages with the world. A woman who feels good about herself exudes a positive energy that draws others in. Physical attraction is multi-dimensional, encompassing confidence and how one presents themselves.

  1. Trustworthiness

Trustworthiness forms the bedrock of any strong relationship. Men value partners they can depend on—those who are reliable, honest, and transparent. As Ernest Hemingway aptly said, “The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.”

Building trust takes time and effort, but it’s worth every moment. Trust acts as the glue that holds the relationship together, ensuring that love and respect continue to thrive even in difficult times.

Conclusion

These seven traits—emotional intelligence, supportiveness, independence, vulnerability, humor, physical attraction, and trustworthiness—represent the qualities men value most in their partners. While every individual is unique, these traits provide a foundation for understanding what contributes to a fulfilling relationship.

Ultimately, relationships thrive when both partners bring their authentic selves to the table and nurture these qualities in a way that feels genuine. As a relationship expert, I encourage you to focus on growth and connection, remembering that love is not about finding perfection but embracing the imperfections of your partner with an open heart.

For more insights into building a healthy and lasting relationship, consider exploring my book and other resources. Keep loving, keep growing, and remember: the strongest relationships are built on mutual respect, trust, and understanding.

Strengthening Your Bond: Key Resolutions for a Fulfilling Relationship

If your relationship was put to the test last year, with heightened emotions, misunderstandings, or arguments that spiraled out of control, you may have realized that such moments could often be mitigated with greater mindfulness, open communication, or taking a moment to listen.

A 2020 study published in PNAS, analyzing data from over 11,000 couples across 43 datasets, revealed significant insights into what drives relationship quality. According to the study, relationship-specific factors, such as perceived partner commitment, appreciation, sexual satisfaction, perceived partner satisfaction, and conflict management, were far more critical to relationship success than individual traits like personality or external circumstances.

These findings provide a roadmap for resolutions couples can adopt to build more loving and united partnerships. While no relationship is without its challenges, intentional effort can ensure that past difficulties don’t repeat themselves this year.

Here are three impactful resolutions, supported by the study, that can help elevate your relationship.

  1. We Will Appreciate Each Other Deeply

Feeling truly appreciated by your partner is transformative. Small moments, such as a sincere “thank you” for making coffee or an unexpected compliment, can make a profound difference.

The PNAS study highlighted appreciation as one of the strongest predictors of relationship quality. When partners feel valued, it fosters emotional intimacy, trust, and a sense of partnership. Without it, even small gestures may feel ignored, leading to dissatisfaction.

Here are ways to cultivate appreciation in your relationship:

  • Acknowledge the little things. Express gratitude for everyday acts, like your partner preparing dinner or running an errand. A heartfelt “Thank you for thinking of us” reinforces how much you value their efforts.
  • Be specific with praise. General statements like “You’re amazing” are nice, but recognizing specific actions, such as “I love how you always make time for me, even when you’re busy,” makes your appreciation feel more genuine.
  • Make gratitude a habit. Dedicate time each day to share what you’re grateful for in your life together. Reflecting on your relationship’s strengths reinforces your bond and reminds you not to take each other for granted.

Appreciation creates a positive feedback loop, where both partners feel valued and inspired to reciprocate, strengthening the relationship over time.

  1. We Will Believe in Each Other’s Commitment

If last year left you questioning your partner’s dedication, resolving to build trust in each other’s commitment can be transformative. Feeling secure in your partner’s devotion lays the foundation for a strong and resilient relationship.

The study identified perceived partner commitment as a crucial predictor of relationship satisfaction. Confidence in each other’s dedication fosters trust, intimacy, and resilience, equipping couples to handle challenges together.

Here’s how you can strengthen this sense of commitment:

  • Align actions with words. Trust is built through consistency. If you promise support during a difficult week, follow through by checking in, helping with tasks, or offering emotional encouragement.
  • Set shared goals. Working together on meaningful plans, like saving for a vacation, starting a project, or pursuing fitness objectives, creates a sense of partnership and a shared future.
  • Hold regular check-ins. Take time to discuss your relationship. Ask questions like, “How do you feel about where we are right now?” or “What can I do to support you better?” These conversations show your investment in the relationship’s well-being.
  • Voice your dedication. Never assume your partner knows how much they mean to you—express it. Statements like “You’re the most important person in my life” or “I’m committed to building a future with you” reinforce your bond.

Trust in each other’s commitment isn’tjust about faith—it’s about creating a relationship that feels secure, supportive, and future-focused.

  1. We Will Resolve Conflicts as a Team

If last year’s disagreements often escalated into blame-filled arguments, this year presents an opportunity to shift your approach. Adopting a “team mindset” during conflicts can help you tackle challenges collaboratively rather than seeing each other as adversaries.

The study emphasized the importance of how couples handle conflict, as effective resolution strengthens trust and intimacy. Conversely, unresolved arguments can undermine a relationship’s foundation.

Here are strategies to approach conflicts constructively:

  • Reframe the issue as “us vs. the problem.” Avoid treating disagreements as competitions. Instead of saying, “You never help around the house!” try, “How can we share tasks so neither of us feels overwhelmed?” This keeps the discussion solution-oriented.
  • Pause when tensions rise.Heated arguments often escalate because emotions cloud judgment. When needed, take a short break by saying, “I need a moment to gather my thoughts. Let’s revisit this calmly.” Pausing allows both of you to reflect and respond thoughtfully.
  • Start gently. How you begin a discussion often determines its outcome. Replace criticism with kindness, such as, “I know you’ve been busy, and I appreciate all you do. Can we talk about how to share responsibilities better?” This reduces defensiveness and encourages teamwork.
  • Apologize sincerely. Taking responsibility for your role in a conflict can defuse tension. A heartfelt apology like, “I’m sorry for interrupting earlier—I see how that made you feel unheard,” shows accountability and fosters healing.
  • Stay focused. Arguments can lose focus if unrelated issues surface. Gently redirect by saying, “Let’s solve this issue first, then address the rest later.” Staying on topic prevents escalation and ensures progress.

Approaching conflicts with a team mentality transforms disagreements into opportunities for growth, paving the way for a stronger partnership.

Conclusion

The effort you invest in your relationship today sets the foundation for a fulfilling future. By committing to these resolutions—expressing appreciation, reinforcing commitment, and resolving conflicts constructively—you can create a relationship built on mutual respect, trust, and love.

As the study suggests, the quality of a relationship hinges on specific actions and attitudes, not external factors. Prioritizing these intentional efforts keeps your relationship moving forward, allowing you to navigate challenges and nurture a deeper connection together.

Eight Habits to Let Go of for a Happier Life After 60

There’s a significant distinction between merely growing older and truly thriving in your later years. The secret to the latter lies in our habits. While some habits hold us back, others can lift us toward fulfillment.

If you’re aiming to enhance your happiness in your 60s and beyond, it’s time to reconsider certain routines. Here are eight habits worth saying goodbye to, allowing you to embrace a more joyful and fulfilling life.

  1. Limiting Yourself Based on Age
  1.  Far too often, entering your 60s can trigger self-imposed restrictions rooted in age. Phrases like “I’m too old for this” or “I should’ve done that earlier” become common. Yet, who says age has to define what you can or cannot achieve?

“Believe me, you’re never too old to explore, learn, and grow,” says the author. Letting go of this mindset can unlock endless possibilities.

Take each day as an opportunity to pick up a new skill or hobby. By saying farewell to this mental barrier, you’re choosing to redefine what’s possible, regardless of the number attached to your age.

  1. Neglecting Your Physical Health
    At some point, many of us have sacrificed our health for other priorities—be it work, family, or daily chores. The consequences, however, become more apparent with age.

The author shares, “I used to tell myself I didn’t have time to exercise or cook healthy meals. But in my 60s, I realized how much neglecting my health was holding me back.”

Taking small, consistent steps, such as daily walks or incorporating more fruits and vegetables into meals, can yield profound changes. Improved physical health enhances energy, mood, and overall well-being.

Health truly is wealth, and maintaining it is vital for a happy life in your golden years.

  1. Resisting Change
    Resisting change often feels like paddling upstream against the current—it’s exhausting and counterproductive. Life, by its nature, is ever-changing. Embracing this reality rather than resisting it can open doors to growth and opportunity.

“Research shows our brains continue to evolve throughout life,” the author notes. By adapting to new circumstances, you position yourself to experience fresh and rewarding experiences.

Let go of the habit of resisting change and learn to flow with life’s natural rhythms.

  1. Holding Onto Grudges
    Harboring grudges can weigh you down like carrying a bag full of stones. While it’s natural to feel hurt, refusing to let go of anger or resentment only prolongs your suffering.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting or dismissing wrongdoings. Instead, it’s about releasing the emotional burden for your own peace of mind.

“It’s not always easy, but letting go of grudges provides relief and freedom like nothing else,” the author shares. Choose to forgive, not for others, but for yourself.

  1. Neglecting Your Passions
    Passions often take a backseat amid life’s demands, but they remain integral to your sense of purpose and joy. Whether it’s gardening, painting, hiking, or reading, these activities infuse life with meaning.

“Your passions are a part of who you are. Ignoring them leaves a void,” the author explains.

Rekindle your enthusiasm for the things you love. By prioritizing your passions, you’ll find renewed energy and happiness in your 60s and beyond.

  1. Trying to Please Everyone
    The habit of always saying “yes” can lead to emotional exhaustion. Attempting to please everyone often means neglecting your own needs.

“You can’t pour from an empty cup,” the author reminds us. This realization prompted them to start prioritizing their well-being, finding that it’s okay to set boundaries and say “no” when needed.

Let go of the urge to meet everyone else’s expectations. Focus on what truly matters to you, and don’t hesitate to put yourself first.

  1. Dwelling on the Past
    The past is a rich source of lessons, but dwelling on it can hinder your happiness. Reliving mistakes or missed opportunities prevents you from appreciating the present moment.

“It’s like driving while constantly looking in the rearview mirror—you’re bound to miss what’s ahead,” the author observes.

You cannot change the past, but you can learn from it and move forward with optimism. Let go of regrets and embrace the present as it unfolds.

  1. Forgetting to Practice Gratitude
    Gratitude is a transformative habit that shifts focus from what’s lacking to what’s already abundant in life. Simple joys—a sunny day, a good meal, or a conversation with a friend—are often overlooked but hold immense value.

“Gratitude doesn’t ignore challenges; it acknowledges the good that exists in every situation,” the author explains.

Cultivate a habit of gratitude by actively appreciating life’s blessings. This practice fosters positivity and enhances your overall happiness.

 

Letting go of these eight habits can pave the way for a richer and more fulfilling life in your 60s and beyond. Each change represents a step toward self-discovery, joy, and personal growth. After all, life’s most vibrant chapters often unfold when we allow ourselves to grow, learn, and embrace each moment.

9 Habits to Let Go for a Joyful Life in Your 70s and Beyond

Aging gracefully and joyfully involves more than just advancing in years. It’s about making deliberate choices to cultivate happiness. Many seniors who age happily learn to let go of certain habits that no longer serve them, paving the way for a fulfilling life. Here are nine habits worth reconsidering if you’re aiming to embrace the golden years with joy and contentment.

1) Releasing the Past

Happiness in later years often stems from the ability to let go of the past. Many joyful seniors have mastered releasing regrets, grudges, and unresolved “what-ifs” that weighed them down in their youth. Letting go doesn’t mean forgetting your past; rather, it’s about learning from experiences and moving forward. Although memories may linger, clinging to negative ones can sap emotional energy better spent appreciating the present. “The freedom it brings can make the effort well worth it,” they often affirm. While challenging, the peace that comes with letting go is transformative.

2) Overcoming Perfectionism

The relentless pursuit of perfection often diminishes joy. One senior reflected, “In my younger years, I was a self-confessed perfectionist. Every task had to be flawless, but the stress and energy drain were immense.” This pursuit often prevents us from enjoying the process. Joyful seniors learn to let go of perfectionism, embracing flaws as part of the human experience. Mistakes teach us and add authenticity to our lives. Instead of seeking perfection, focusing on doing one’s best brings a liberating peace of mind.

3) Neglecting Physical Health

Physical health becomes paramount as we age. According to the World Health Organization, adults over 65 should engage in at least 150 minutes of moderate exercise weekly. Many joyful seniors prioritize staying active and eating healthily, benefiting both body and mind. Exercise boosts mood, reduces stress, and sharpens cognitive abilities, while a balanced diet helps manage chronic conditions. The message is clear: “It’s never too late to start taking care of your physical health.”

4) Avoiding Social Connections

As people retire and children grow up, social circles can shrink. However, maintaining relationships is vital for happiness. Seniors who continue to thrive prioritize strong social connections, whether by reconnecting with old friends, making new ones, or joining community activities. “It’s not just about the quantity but the quality of your relationships,” research emphasizes. Genuine bonds significantly enhance mental and emotional well-being, making them indispensable for a joyful life.

5) Shying Away from New Experiences

Routine and familiarity are comforting, but they can stifle growth. Joyful seniors step out of their comfort zones and embrace new experiences, whether it’s trying a new hobby, traveling, or learning a skill. These activities stimulate the mind and create lasting memories. “Life doesn’t stop being an adventure just because we’ve grown older,” many remind us. Staying curious keeps life exciting and fulfilling.

6) Ignoring Self-Care

The tendency to prioritize others—spouses, children, or grandchildren—often leads to neglecting one’s own needs. However, self-care is essential, not indulgent. Simple acts like enjoying a walk, reading, or savoring a quiet moment make a profound difference in overall well-being. “You cannot pour from an empty cup,” wise seniors stress. Prioritizing self-love allows you to be present and supportive for others while maintaining your own happiness.

7) Holding Onto Clutter

Decades of accumulation can result in an overwhelming amount of possessions. Decluttering brings a sense of freedom. “I realized how much stuff I had—things I hadn’t used in years,” shared one senior. Letting go of unnecessary items clears both physical and mental space, making room for what truly matters. Joyful seniors often embrace minimalism, finding that less is indeed more.

8) Resisting Change

Change is inevitable, yet resisting it can lead to frustration. Joyful seniors accept and adapt to evolving technologies, shifting norms, and new perspectives. Embracing change keeps them engaged with the world and open to growth. “Life is a journey of constant learning,” they say. Adjusting to change fosters resilience and connection, crucial elements of a happy life.

9) Forgetting the Present

Finally, joyful seniors understand the value of living in the moment. The past is unchangeable, and the future is uncertain, but the present is a gift to be cherished. Dwelling on past regrets or future anxieties robs us of today’s joys. By fully immersing in the present, seniors find happiness in the little things and savor the richness of life. “This is where happiness and joy are found,” they emphasize.

Final Thoughts: Joy Is a Choice

American author Leo Buscaglia once said, “Life is a paradise for those who love many things with a passion.” Aging joyfully isn’t just about letting go; it’s about embracing habits that nurture happiness. Seniors who choose to prioritize relationships, self-care, and present living shape a life filled with joy and fulfillment. As you journey through your golden years, reflect on what you can let go of and what you can embrace to create your own paradise.

Relationships: The Foundation of a Happy Life

If given a choice for the most pleasant train ride, would you prefer solitude or a conversation with an unfamiliar fellow passenger? Most of us instinctively opt for solitude, fearing the unpredictability of interacting with strangers. As Dr. Robert Waldinger, a psychiatry professor at Harvard Medical School and co-author of The Good Life, explains to Fortune, “We assume the worst.” Waldinger’s book highlights this widespread tendency to expect negative outcomes from new social interactions, largely due to the fear of rejection.

Surprisingly, a study from the University of Chicago revealed that commuters who chose to engage with strangers rated their experience more positively than expected. Waldinger and his co-author, Marc Schulz, noted in their book, “We seem particularly bad at forecasting the benefits of relationships. A big part of this is the obvious fact that relationships can be messy and unpredictable. This messiness is some of what prompts many of us to prefer being alone.”

The Science Behind Happiness

The Good Life draws on the world’s longest-running study of happiness, which began in 1938. Tracking the lives of 724 Harvard students and low-income boys from Boston, the study has since expanded to include over 2,000 participants, encompassing spouses and descendants of the original group. For decades, researchers have collected health records, conducted DNA tests, and issued biennial questionnaires about participants’ well-being. Roughly every 15 years, they conducted in-person interviews to delve deeper into their lives.

The central finding of this extensive study was not a surprise: happiness wasn’t primarily tied to good health or financial success but to the strength of personal relationships. The researchers emphasized that relationships are “intrinsic to everything we do and everything we are.”

Overcoming Life’s Challenges

Relationships served as a cornerstone of hope for participants as they navigated life’s hardships—be it illnesses, wartime trauma, or personal losses. Many shared stories of individuals who supported them during difficult times, such as a friend lending money in a financial crisis or a fellow soldier providing emotional strength during war.

Regrets often centered on missed opportunities to nurture these bonds. Participants lamented prioritizing trivial pursuits like career achievements or material wealth over family and friendships. Waldinger observes, “It’s not that accomplishment isn’t important and satisfying. It is. But when we sacrifice our [relationships], that’s when we end up regretting it, and living a life that isn’t as good as we might have.”

Strengthening Connections at Any Age

The good news is that it’s never too late to improve relationships, whether by cultivating new ones or rekindling old ties. Waldinger emphasizes the concept of “social fitness,” urging people to assess their connections and intentionally prioritize them.

“Which ones energize you? Who do you appreciate, and how can you incorporate them into your life in new ways?” he asks. Relationships evolve as we age, requiring intentionality to maintain them. Waldinger encourages us to decide, “This person I want to keep in my life,” and act on that commitment.

One practical approach to boosting “social fitness” is to schedule time for relationships, much like planning a workout or business meeting. Waldinger and Schulz practice this themselves, connecting every Friday at noon. “We talk about our work and writing this book, but we also talk about our kids and personal lives. That phone call is automatic, and we have to cancel it only if necessary,” Waldinger shares.

Building New Bonds

For those seeking to forge new relationships, Waldinger recommends creating opportunities to connect. This might involve joining local clubs, participating in community activities, or simply reaching out to acquaintances. Even small acts, like introducing yourself to a barista or complimenting a stranger, can spark moments of joy and connection.

Technology also offers unique avenues to foster relationships. Waldinger shares an example of his mother, who formed a deep friendship through an online support group for chronic pain. The pair now regularly call each other and visit each other’s homes. However, Waldinger cautions against relying too heavily on social media, which can distort perceptions of happiness by promoting idealized versions of life.

He advises using technology intentionally, asking, “How can I be an active consumer rather than a passive one?” Regularly reflecting on how online interactions make us feel—energized or drained—can help identify media that enriches relationships rather than diminishes them.

The Gift of Attention

As one of Waldinger’s Zen teachers once said, “Attention is the most basic form of love.” In today’s fast-paced world, offering undivided attention has become increasingly rare yet remains profoundly meaningful. Waldinger encourages active listening, suggesting we eliminate the pressure to perfectly understand or solve someone’s problems. Simply being present and attentive shows others that we care.

Embracing Vulnerability

Strong relationships require vulnerability. This means being open to giving and receiving help, even if it feels uncomfortable. Waldinger and Schulz highlight that as people age, they often worry about appearing needy or burdening others. Yet, they write, “One of the harder things for some people to learn is how to give help, and—even harder for others as they grow older—how to receive help.”

Acknowledging the complexities of relationships, Waldinger admits, “Relationships don’t keep us happy all day, every day because nobody’s happy all day, every day. What they do is they build a bedrock of well-being. They build a safety net. They build a sense that I got people in my life when I need them.”

Final Thoughts

Whether it’s sharing a conversation with a stranger or maintaining cherished connections, relationships undeniably play a central role in happiness. By prioritizing “social fitness,” giving others our attention, and embracing vulnerability, we can foster a fulfilling and connected life—at any age. As Waldinger and Schulz’s study reminds us, the messiness of relationships is far outweighed by their enduring rewards.

Vancouver Tops Quality of Living Rankings in North America

Mercer’s annual Quality of Living survey has once again recognized Vancouver as one of the world’s top cities for quality of life, with several other Canadian cities also earning high rankings. The British Columbia city claimed the top spot in North America and tied for seventh place globally alongside Frankfurt, Germany. This marks an improvement from its eighth-place ranking in the previous year’s survey.

Mercer’s survey is renowned for assessing daily life for international workers and their families, considering a range of factors that contribute to the overall quality of living. In 2024, four other Canadian cities joined Vancouver in the top 25: Toronto, Ottawa, Montreal, and Calgary. These cities outperformed several well-known American cities, including San Francisco (36th), Los Angeles (44th), New York (45th), and Washington DC (49th).

Here is how the Canadian cities ranked:

Vancouver: #7

Toronto: #13

Ottawa: #20

Montreal: #20

Calgary: #25

The latest Mercer Quality of Living report highlights cities that excel in living standards, infrastructure, and cultural vibrancy. “The most successful destinations today are those that blend flexible governance around mobile talent with a high quality of life and an affordable cost of living,” the survey states.

The evaluation considers various factors, including housing, recreation, socio-cultural environment, political stability, healthcare, education access, travel options, traffic conditions, air quality, and purchasing power. Vancouver, in particular, stands out for its combination of mild weather, outdoor recreation opportunities, and cosmopolitan atmosphere.

“Canada continues to be a leading destination for international assignees who can access the range of benefits the country and cities have to offer,” said Vince Cordova, Mercer partner for Mobility Advisory Services in North America. He emphasized the unique qualities of each Canadian city: Vancouver’s proximity to nature, Toronto’s diversity, Ottawa’s political significance, Montreal’s historic charm, and Calgary’s robust job market.

Although Vancouver ranks as the most livable city in North America, it is not without challenges. According to Mercer’s 2024 cost-of-living data, it is the 101st most expensive city globally for international workers. The survey underscores the importance of balancing affordability with quality of life for both employees and corporations.

The recognition of these Canadian cities reinforces Canada’s appeal as a destination for international workers, offering a high standard of living and an environment that caters to diverse cultural and professional needs.

Intimacy: The Quiet Magic That Strengthens Relationships

Intimacy is the heartbeat of any meaningful relationship. It’s the element that adds depth, transforming connections from surface-level to profound. Contrary to popular belief, intimacy is not just about grand romantic gestures. It thrives in the little things—like sharing a laugh over a silly joke or offering a warm hug after a difficult day. It’s about truly seeing, accepting, and appreciating each other. When intimacy is strong, a relationship feels alive and secure. Without it, even the most promising partnerships can seem hollow and disconnected. Intimacy, then, is not an optional extra in love; it is the foundation that holds everything together.

Physical intimacy is a significant love language, an irreplaceable way to convey care and affection. Simple acts like hugs, kisses, and cuddles carry profound emotional weight. These gestures can express feelings words often fail to capture. “A little affection goes a long way in making each other feel truly valued,” notes the essence of physical intimacy. Such moments reinforce emotional bonds, foster trust, and assure your partner of their importance in your life. It’s a subtle yet powerful reminder of the closeness you share, one that words alone cannot replicate.

Beyond the physical, intimacy is the cornerstone of emotional connection. Think of it as the Wi-Fi of relationships—it keeps everything in sync and running smoothly. When intimacy flourishes, communication feels effortless and natural. On the contrary, its absence can make even simple conversations seem strained and empty. Emotional intimacy allows partners to feel deeply understood and genuinely loved. Just like having full phone bars, a strong connection ensures everything feels aligned. However, as intimacy wanes, disconnection begins to creep in, leaving the relationship feeling out of sync.

Intimacy is also a natural stress reliever, offering a safe haven during challenging times. Whether it’s confiding in your partner about your fears or simply holding hands in silence, these small acts of connection provide immense comfort. They create a space to pause, breathe, and tackle life’s hurdles together. “These little moments of togetherness bring strength and keep the relationship resilient,” reflecting how intimacy serves as a buffer against external pressures. By sharing these moments, couples can lighten their emotional burdens and remind each other that they are never alone, no matter how tough life gets.

Moreover, intimacy extends beyond romance. It’s about being your true self in the presence of your partner. This means sharing your quirks, dreams, and vulnerabilities without the fear of judgment. Such openness fosters trust and builds a bond that surpasses physical affection. “It’s the little things—like laughing at inside jokes or feeling safe in each other’s presence—that make intimacy the glue holding everything together,” highlighting how small, genuine interactions can solidify relationships. Intimacy invites partners to embrace each other wholly, creating a connection that is authentic and enduring.

As relationships evolve, so does intimacy. What may begin as passionate romance often transforms into a deeper bond rooted in trust, shared experiences, and emotional depth. This evolution doesn’t diminish intimacy; rather, it adds layers to it. Staying curious about each other and finding opportunities to connect—whether through meaningful conversations, shared activities, or simple gestures—keeps the relationship vibrant. “It’s not about recreating the past but evolving together in ways that nurture your unique connection over time,” emphasizing that growth and adaptation are key to sustaining intimacy.

Intimacy is not confined to fleeting moments of closeness; it grows and adapts over time, offering couples new ways to connect. Acts like listening intently, sharing daily experiences, or exchanging a comforting touch weave a rich tapestry of connection. These everyday gestures cultivate a sense of safety and security, allowing both partners to show up as their authentic selves. When intimacy is prioritized, it creates an environment where vulnerability thrives, judgment is absent, and trust becomes unshakable.

This shared vulnerability and understanding deepen the bond between partners, making the foundation of the relationship even stronger. As intimacy flourishes, it encourages honest communication and deeper emotional support. It enables couples to navigate life’s challenges with unity and resilience, reinforcing their commitment to each other.

In the long run, intimacy acts as the quiet magic that makes a relationship feel genuine and alive. It’s not about elaborate displays of affection or perfect moments. Instead, it resides in the seemingly ordinary yet profoundly meaningful exchanges that bring couples closer together. By nurturing these moments of connection, relationships can remain robust, joyful, and full of love. Intimacy, after all, is the essence that makes everything feel truly real.

Age and Achievement: When We Peak in Life

Aging often carries a sense of unease, but scientific research consistently shows that growing older offers its own advantages. Youth may have its perks, but there are numerous ways in which middle-aged and older individuals excel, proving that life doesn’t merely decline after early adulthood.

Studies that identify peak ages for various abilities rely largely on averages and surveys, which means they don’t capture every individual experience. Despite this limitation, recurring patterns across the data reveal a reassuring truth: many skills and traits peak well beyond our youth. Here’s a breakdown of what science says about the highs of human potential at different stages of life.

Learning a second language is easier for children around the age of 7 or 8. Linguists largely agree that pre-puberty is the best time to master a new language, although debates about the specifics continue.

Cognitive processing power reaches its peak at 18. A 2016 study using digit-symbol coding tests, where participants match numbers to symbols, found 18-year-olds scored the highest.

At age 22, individuals are best at remembering unfamiliar names. A 2010 study showed this ability peaks in young adulthood, so those introductions stick more at this age.

Interestingly, men generally find women most attractive around age 22. This finding, based on OKCupid data explored in the book Dataclysm, showed men’s preferences stay consistent regardless of their age. Women, by contrast, prefer partners slightly older in their 20s and younger by their 30s. However, this analysis reflects a specific dating app demographic and may not apply universally.

Life satisfaction reaches its first peak at 23. A German survey of 23,000 people found individuals in their early 20s reported being particularly content with their lives.

Physical strength is at its maximum at 25. Muscles are their strongest during this time, though with consistent exercise, they remain powerful for another decade or so.

When it comes to settling down, 26 is the ideal age according to the “37% Rule” from statistics. By this time, most individuals have met enough potential partners to make informed decisions without missing out on good opportunities. Research also shows that marrying between ages 28 and 32 correlates with the lowest divorce rates.

For elite marathon runners, peak performance happens at age 28. A 50-year marathon analysis revealed that top competitors complete races in just over two hours at this age.

Bone mass is at its strongest around 30. While calcium and vitamin D can help maintain bone density, this peak signals the body’s strongest structural phase.

Chess grandmasters perform their best at 31, based on a study analyzing the careers of 96 top players. Similarly, this is also the age when individuals excel at recognizing unfamiliar faces after a brief introduction.

Groundbreaking achievements often occur around 40. Nobel Prize-winning research, for example, tends to emerge from middle-aged scientists, suggesting that intellectual mastery often blossoms during this period.

Salaries peak for women around 39 and for men near 48. According to Payscale data, women’s median earnings reach $60,000 by their late 30s, while men’s salaries top out closer to $95,000 by their late 40s.

The ability to concentrate reaches its height at 43. A 2015 study by Harvard and the Boston Attention and Learning Laboratory found people in their mid-40s perform best on focus-based tasks. Co-author Joe DeGutis explained that older adults excel in maintaining concentration over time, even if younger individuals process information more rapidly.

Empathy peaks in one’s 40s and 50s. Research involving 10,000 participants demonstrated that middle-aged individuals were best at discerning emotions from images cropped to show only a person’s eyes.

Arithmetic skills hit their high point at 50. Quick and accurate mental math appears to improve steadily with age, reaching its zenith in this decade.

Life satisfaction peaks again at 69. The same German study that identified happiness at 23 found another spike in well-being for people nearing 70. Notably, individuals over 60 often felt better about life than they had anticipated.

Vocabulary skills continue to expand into one’s late 60s and early 70s. Multiple-choice vocabulary tests reveal consistent improvement well past midlife, likely reflecting a lifetime of language exposure.

Body confidence soars after 70. A Gallup survey found that nearly two-thirds of Americans over 65 consistently feel good about their appearance. This confidence peaks for men in their early 80s, with three-quarters expressing satisfaction with their looks. Women also see a notable rise in self-perception by their mid-70s.

Wisdom, defined by qualities like perspective-taking and embracing uncertainty, increases with age. A psychological study asking participants aged 60 to 90 to analyze conflicts showed older adults outperformed younger ones in nearly every measure.

Psychological well-being peaks at 82. A National Academy of Sciences study found that individuals aged 82 to 85 rated their lives higher on a metaphorical ladder than any other age group, scoring an average of 7 out of 10.

Finally, age-related milestones ending in 9 often prompt life-altering decisions. Research revealed people aged 29, 39, 49, or 59 are more likely to take significant steps, such as running marathons, having affairs, or, in some cases, contemplating life’s big questions.

These findings paint an encouraging picture of human development. While youth has its advantages, aging brings with it peaks in wisdom, empathy, and satisfaction, proving life is far from a one-way journey downhill.

Tokyo to Launch Four-Day Workweek for Government Workers to Address Falling Birth Rates

The city of Tokyo will implement a four-day workweek for government employees starting in April, a move aimed at supporting working mothers and addressing Japan’s declining fertility rate. This initiative by the Tokyo Metropolitan Government will allow employees to take three days off each week. Additionally, the government introduced a policy enabling parents of young children, particularly those with children in grades one to three of elementary school, to leave work early by accepting a reduction in their salaries.

“We will review work styles … with flexibility, ensuring no one has to give up their career due to life events such as childbirth or childcare,” Tokyo Governor Yuriko Koike said during a policy speech unveiling the plan. She emphasized the importance of adapting to societal changes, stating, “Now is the time for Tokyo to take the initiative to protect and enhance the lives, livelihoods, and economy of our people during these challenging times for the nation.”

Japan has struggled with a declining birth rate for years, hitting a record low in June despite various government campaigns encouraging marriage and parenthood. Last year, only 727,277 births were registered in the country. The fertility rate, which represents the average number of children a woman has during her lifetime, fell to 1.2. This is far below the replacement level of 2.1 needed to sustain the population, according to the Ministry of Health, Labour and Welfare.

To counter this demographic crisis, the Japanese government has introduced several urgent policies, including measures to encourage men to take paternity leave. Local governments have also implemented initiatives aimed at improving working conditions.

Sociologists point to Japan’s demanding work culture and high living costs as key reasons for the country’s low birth rate. Grueling working hours have long been a hallmark of corporate Japan, where health issues linked to overwork are common. In severe cases, this has led to “karoshi,” a term meaning death caused by excessive work.

Women in Japan face significant challenges in balancing careers and family life. The country’s culture of overtime work often makes pregnancy and raising children particularly challenging. This pressure is compounded by a stark gender gap in labor force participation. According to the World Bank, in 2023, only 55% of Japanese women participated in the labor force compared to 72% of men, a disparity that is larger than in other high-income nations.

The concept of a four-day workweek has gained traction in some Western countries, where companies are exploring it as a means to improve work-life balance and attract talent. Studies have shown that compressed work schedules can enhance worker well-being and productivity. However, the idea remains unconventional in Japan, where long hours are often equated with dedication and loyalty to employers.

Tokyo’s initiative aligns with broader trends in Asia, where other governments are also experimenting with family-friendly policies. Earlier this year, Singapore introduced new guidelines requiring companies to consider employees’ requests for flexible working arrangements, including four-day workweeks or flexible hours.

By reimagining traditional work structures, Tokyo aims to create a more supportive environment for families while addressing the nation’s demographic challenges. Whether this bold approach will inspire similar changes across Japan remains to be seen.

Strengthening Relationships: The Importance of the 5:1 Rule in Resolving Conflicts

In Tolstoy’s Anna Karenina, there is a famous line: “All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” While the novel is a work of fiction, some psychologists suggest that happy couples share a common trait, particularly when it comes to managing conflict. This common trait is the 5:1 formula, a concept that emphasizes the importance of maintaining five or more positive interactions for every negative one during a disagreement.

The Gottman Institute highlights the significance of this simple rule, which was initially formulated by psychologists John M. Gottman and Robert W. Levenson. In the 1970s, the two researchers began studying couples by observing how they navigated disagreements within a brief time frame. They discovered that by watching how couples handled conflicts, they could predict with more than 90% accuracy which couples would remain together and which ones would divorce. Their conclusion was clear: sustaining a higher ratio of positive interactions during arguments is vital for a stable and lasting relationship. According to their research, it takes at least five positive interactions to offset one negative one.

Dr. Gottman, one of the founders of this theory, insists that disagreements are a natural part of any relationship, even in healthy marriages. However, he stresses that it is important for both partners to repair the situation quickly. “Anger only has negative effects in marriage if it is expressed along with criticism or contempt, or if it is defensive,” Dr. Gottman explains in his 1994 book Why Marriages Succeed or Fail: And How You Can Make Yours Last. This underscores the need for partners to express negative emotions in ways that don’t create long-lasting harm to the relationship.

Dr. Gottman also offers practical advice on how couples can handle disagreements in ways that promote understanding and foster a deeper connection. Below are some key strategies that can help strengthen a relationship, especially during challenging moments:

Showing Interest

When your partner expresses dissatisfaction, do you take the time to truly listen? Are you curious about the root of their frustration? Dr. Gottman advocates for demonstrating genuine interest by asking follow-up questions and using body language that signals you’re engaged. This not only reassures your partner that their concerns are being taken seriously but also makes them feel heard and valued.

Expressing Affection

Physical and verbal closeness during a conversation, especially in the midst of a disagreement, can greatly reduce stress and tension. By expressing affection, you remind your partner that you are committed to resolving the issue together. This simple act reinforces the idea that the relationship is a partnership, and both parties are in it for the long haul.

Making Small but Meaningful Gestures

The Gottman Institute emphasizes the significance of small gestures that show attention and affection. These simple acts, when practiced consistently over time, can have a positive and lasting impact on a relationship. These gestures serve as “buffer” signals that contribute to the accumulation of positive interactions, even when a disagreement is ongoing.

Focusing on Common Ground

During arguments, it’s easy to focus on points of disagreement, but Dr. Gottman advises couples to emphasize areas where they do agree. Highlighting shared perspectives can help de-escalate tension and pave the way for faster resolutions. By focusing on what unites you, rather than what divides you, it becomes easier to find solutions that work for both parties.

Empathizing and Apologizing

Empathy is one of the most powerful ways to deepen emotional bonds in a relationship. It allows both partners to feel understood, seen, and loved. Dr. Gottman stresses the importance of empathy during conflicts. When you empathize with your partner’s feelings and experience, you demonstrate that you care about their emotional state. Offering a sincere apology can also go a long way in mending a rift. Apologizing shows accountability and willingness to make things right.

Accepting the Other Person’s Perspective

A critical part of conflict resolution is the ability to acknowledge your partner’s perspective, even if you don’t necessarily agree with it. Acceptance doesn’t mean agreement, but it signals respect for the other person’s thoughts and feelings. This can help avoid defensiveness, making it easier to resolve the conflict in a constructive manner.

Sharing a Joke

While it may seem counterintuitive to joke around during an argument, playful teasing can actually help diffuse tension. Humor can create a lighter atmosphere and help both partners reconnect emotionally. Dr. Gottman suggests that sharing a light-hearted moment during a heated exchange can help to re-establish emotional intimacy and reduce the intensity of the disagreement.

The 5:1 rule, as formulated by Dr. Gottman, offers a practical and evidence-based framework for strengthening relationships during times of conflict. By maintaining a higher ratio of positive to negative interactions, couples can navigate disagreements in ways that promote long-term emotional connection. As Gottman’s research shows, it is not the absence of conflict but the manner in which it is managed that determines the success and longevity of a relationship. The strategies outlined above, such as showing interest, expressing affection, focusing on common ground, and empathizing with your partner, can help couples resolve disagreements in ways that enhance rather than harm their emotional bond.

Malaysian Billionaire’s Son Chooses Spiritual Fulfillment Over $5 Billion Fortune

In a remarkable story that mirrors themes of simplicity and spiritual fulfillment, Ven Ajahn Siripanyo, the only son of Malaysian billionaire Ananda Krishnan, made a life-changing decision to renounce his claim to a $5 billion family empire in favor of embracing a monastic lifestyle. Ananda Krishnan, a leading figure in Malaysia’s business world, controls a vast empire that includes interests in telecommunications, satellites, oil, real estate, and media.

Who is Ven Ajahn Siripanyo?

Born into a life of privilege, Ven Ajahn Siripanyo made an extraordinary decision at the age of 18 to leave behind his luxurious upbringing and become a Buddhist monk. His choice, though unconventional, aligns with his father’s strong Buddhist faith. A report by the South China Morning Post states, “Ajahn Siripanyo’s choice was entirely his own, and it is respected within the family.”

Interestingly, Siripanyo’s mother, Momwajarongse Suprinda Chakraban, is descended from the Thai royal family, giving him both noble and wealthy lineage. Despite the immense material wealth available to him, Siripanyo’s spiritual journey began when he took a temporary retreat in Thailand, which eventually evolved into a lifelong dedication to the monastic life.

The Life of a Forest Monk

For over 20 years, Ven Ajahn Siripanyo has lived as a forest monk, primarily residing at the Dtao Dum Monastery, located near the Thailand-Myanmar border. He embraced the Buddhist principles of renouncing material possessions and living simply, relying on the kindness and generosity of others to meet his basic needs. His decision reflects the core Buddhist teachings of detachment and mindfulness.

While Siripanyo has committed himself to monastic life, he occasionally reconnects with his family, particularly his father. These brief visits are aligned with Buddhist teachings that emphasize the importance of family ties and maintaining relationships within the family while upholding spiritual values. His visits allow him to balance the monastic ideals with familial duties without forsaking his deeper spiritual commitment.

Embracing Global Perspectives

Raised in London alongside his two sisters, Siripanyo was exposed to diverse cultures and experiences. He completed his education in the UK, where he became fluent in at least eight languages. This broad cultural exposure significantly influenced his worldview, allowing him to integrate a deeper understanding of Buddhist teachings into his life and practice.

Ajahn Siripanyo’s path mirrors that of Julian Mantle, the fictional lawyer from the book The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari, a story about a successful lawyer who seeks spiritual enlightenment after abandoning his career. However, Siripanyo’s journey is unique because it is a rare, real-life instance of someone from such a wealthy and privileged background choosing a life of spiritual service and simplicity over material wealth.

A Unique Spiritual Journey

While many individuals born into wealth may find it difficult to abandon such luxuries, Ven Ajahn Siripanyo has chosen a different path, one that prioritizes spiritual enlightenment over the comforts of affluence. This decision to pursue a life dedicated to Buddhism is not simply a fleeting desire but a deep commitment to understanding the true meaning of life, transcending the pursuit of material success. The contrast between his upbringing and the life he now leads is a striking example of the personal sacrifices made in the quest for spiritual fulfillment.

The story of Ajahn Siripanyo also raises questions about the role of family expectations versus individual aspirations. His father, a business mogul with an expansive empire, likely had aspirations for his son to inherit and continue the family legacy. Yet, Ajahn Siripanyo’s personal decision to embrace Buddhism, which he describes as his calling, highlights the freedom to pursue one’s true path despite the external pressures of wealth and legacy.

Ven Ajahn Siripanyo’s renunciation of materialism is a testament to the profound influence of Buddhism in shaping an individual’s values and worldview. His decision demonstrates the potential for profound personal transformation, even for someone born into extreme wealth, and highlights the enduring power of spiritual practice.

In a world where materialism often dictates life choices, Ajahn Siripanyo’s journey serves as an inspiration for others seeking meaning beyond material wealth. His choice to become a forest monk has made him a living example of the Buddhist ideals of non-attachment, simplicity, and spiritual dedication.

Though his life as a monk is marked by simplicity and self-discipline, it also includes moments of connection with his family, which reflect the values of compassion and respect for one’s roots. This balance between his monastic life and his family ties shows that it is possible to live a life of spiritual fulfillment without completely severing connections to one’s past.

In conclusion, Ven Ajahn Siripanyo’s story stands out as an inspiring example of how spiritual fulfillment can be prioritized over wealth and worldly success. His choice to leave behind a life of luxury and embrace monastic life speaks to the power of Buddhism’s teachings, demonstrating that true wealth lies in spiritual growth and inner peace, not material possessions. His journey is a rare, real-life manifestation of the kind of transformation that many only dream of, and his life continues to serve as an example of the possibilities that open up when one chooses the path of simplicity and spiritual service.

Adultery Decriminalized in New York with Repeal of Century-Old Law

Adultery is no longer a criminal offense in New York following Governor Kathy Hochul’s decision on Friday to repeal a law dating back to 1907.

The repealed statute in New York’s penal code stated, “A person is guilty of adultery when he engages in sexual intercourse with another person at a time when he has a living spouse, or the other person has a living spouse.” Previously classified as a Class B misdemeanor, this law could result in a jail sentence of up to three months.

The New York State Senate referred to the law as “outdated” in its rationale for removal. Assemblyman Charles Lavine, who authored the bill to repeal the law, highlighted its limited enforcement over the decades. According to Lavine, there were 13 recorded arrests and charges under this law, with five resulting in convictions. However, he acknowledged that these figures might not fully capture the scope of the law’s application, as some court records are not readily accessible.

The most recent known case involving this statute occurred in 2010 but was ultimately dismissed, underscoring the law’s diminishing relevance and application in modern times.

By signing the repeal, Governor Hochul has brought New York’s legal framework in line with contemporary views on personal relationships and privacy, marking the end of a statute that persisted for more than a century.

5 Parenting Habits That May Be Holding You Back from Building a Strong Bond with Your Kids

As parents, we dream of maintaining a close and trusting relationship with our children well into their adult years. However, some parenting habits, despite being well-intentioned, might inadvertently hinder the deep connection we aim to build.

Here are five common behaviors that may be creating distance between you and your kids—and how to change them for a lasting, meaningful bond.

1) Acting as a Dictator Instead of a Guide

When children are young, parents naturally assume the role of decision-makers and protectors. This approach ensures their safety and well-being during their formative years. However, as children grow, holding on to this “dictator” mindset can backfire.

Teens and young adults need space to develop their judgment and learn from their mistakes. Maintaining rigid control often leads to frustration and resentment, making it harder for children to open up or feel understood.

Transition to being a guide: share advice, set boundaries when necessary, but give them room to make decisions. This shift nurtures mutual respect, fosters independence, and builds trust—key ingredients for a strong parent-child relationship.

2) Being Overly Critical

It’s easy to view our children’s actions as a reflection of our own parenting, which can lead to being excessively critical. However, constant criticism can harm their self-esteem and create emotional distance.

Dr. Jeffrey Bernstein, a parenting psychologist, emphasizes that frequent criticism can cause children to feel “inadequate and unvalued.” Instead of focusing on their shortcomings, acknowledge their efforts and growth. Celebrate their individuality and provide guidance with empathy.

By supporting rather than judging, you cultivate a bond rooted in understanding and encouragement.

3) Pretending to Be All-Knowing

Parents often feel pressure to appear infallible to maintain authority. While this may provide young children with a sense of security, it can alienate older kids. Teens are quick to recognize that no one has all the answers and appreciate authenticity over perfection.

Dr. Brené Brown, a researcher on vulnerability, explains, “Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity.” Acknowledge when you don’t know something, and invite your children to figure it out together.

This openness fosters humility, trust, and a willingness to learn, making your child more likely to approach you during times of uncertainty.

4) Avoiding Tough Conversations

It’s tempting to shield children from difficult or uncomfortable topics, whether it’s about relationships, mental health, or past mistakes. However, avoiding these discussions can make them feel isolated or unsure of where to turn when facing their struggles.

Creating a safe, nonjudgmental space for open dialogue signals to your child that no topic is off-limits. These conversations, while challenging, are opportunities to build trust and demonstrate your unwavering support.

Even if the discussion isn’t perfect, your willingness to engage openly strengthens your bond.

5) Refusing to Admit When You’re Wrong

No parent is perfect, and mistakes are inevitable. Refusing to acknowledge these missteps can damage your credibility and hinder trust.

Admitting when you’re wrong and apologizing teaches your children humility and accountability. It shows them that making mistakes is part of life and that owning up to them is a sign of strength.

By modeling this behavior, you reinforce values of honesty and responsibility while strengthening the foundation of respect in your relationship.

Final Reflection: Parenting Is a Two-Way Journey

Building a meaningful bond with your children doesn’t require perfection—it requires presence, understanding, and authenticity. By letting go of habits that unintentionally create barriers, you pave the way for a relationship built on trust, respect, and connection.

Here’s to fostering a deeper, lasting bond with your kids as they grow!

Rethinking Communication: Turning Battlegrounds Into Bridges in Relationships

As a relationship therapist, I’ve often heard couples lament, “We just can’t communicate.” Yet, deeper examination reveals it’s usually not a lack of communication but how they communicate that creates tension. Miscommunication often turns into a destructive cycle, fostering emotional distance and disconnection.

Take Jamie and Liz as an example. Jamie tended to bottle up frustrations until they became unmanageable. This often led to emotionally charged “We need to talk” moments where they unloaded grievances all at once. Liz, feeling ambushed, would react defensively and withdraw, leaving both partners feeling unheard and resentful. This cycle embodies what I term the “3-D Effect”—emotional Distance, constant Distraction, and a growing sense of Disconnection—a theme I explore in my book, Why Can’t You Read My Mind?

This dynamic is all too common. Whether you’re the partner who bottles up feelings or the one who reacts defensively, these patterns can strain even the strongest relationships. But the good news is that small, deliberate changes can transform conversations from hostile exchanges to meaningful connections.

Why “We Need to Talk” Backfires

The phrase “We need to talk” sets the stage for tension before the conversation even begins. It implies blame, often making the other person defensive before a word is exchanged.

Consider Marcus and Ellie, another couple. Marcus was frustrated with Ellie’s frequent phone use during dinner. Instead of calmly addressing his feelings, Marcus blurted out, “You’re always on that thing! Don’t you care about us?” Ellie, feeling attacked, retorted, “I’m busy with work—why don’t you get off my back?” Neither felt understood, and the issue remained unresolved.

This cycle of blame and defensiveness is common, but shifting how we approach such conversations can break the pattern and foster understanding.

Three Steps to Improve Communication

  1. Begin with Connection, Not Criticism

Instead of starting with a complaint, open with empathy or a positive statement. For instance, Marcus could have said, “I love spending dinner time with you and feel disconnected when phones are out. Could we agree to keep them away during meals?”

Why it works: Starting on a positive note sets a collaborative tone. It signals that the goal is connection, not conflict, making the conversation less confrontational.

  1. Own Your Feelings Without Blaming

Using “I” statements can help express emotions without making the other person feel attacked. For example, Jamie could have said, “I feel overwhelmed when I don’t share my feelings earlier. Can we make time to talk before things build up?”

Why it works: When you take ownership of your emotions, it reduces the likelihood of defensiveness from your partner. This keeps the conversation focused on resolving the issue rather than assigning blame.

  1. Invite Solutions Instead of Dictating Them

Rather than pointing out the problem, shift toward brainstorming solutions together. Ellie could have responded to Marcus by saying, “I didn’t realize how important this was to you. Maybe we can have a no-phone rule for dinners?”

Why it works: Collaborative problem-solving fosters teamwork and mutual understanding, strengthening the relationship.

Practical Tips for Healthier Conversations

Choose the Right Time: Timing is critical. Avoid addressing sensitive topics when emotions are running high or distractions are present. A calm, private setting can help ensure the conversation is productive.

Practice Active Listening: Reflect on what your partner says to show you’re genuinely engaged. For example, Marcus could have responded, “So, you feel unheard when I check my phone at dinner. Is that right?” This simple act of listening can diffuse tension and foster connection.

Focus on the Future: Avoid rehashing past mistakes. Instead, direct the conversation toward solutions and moving forward together.

Changing the Script

If “We need to talk” has become a dreaded phrase in your relationship, it’s time to replace it with something more inviting. For example, saying, “Can we talk about something on my mind? I want us to feel closer,” shifts the tone and sets the stage for a more positive exchange.

Couples like Jamie and Liz or Marcus and Ellie don’t succeed because they avoid disagreements but because they learn to handle conflicts with respect, creativity, and care.

“Relationships flourish not when we avoid hard conversations but when we handle them with courage, kindness, and a willingness to truly hear each other.”

Next time you need to address a sensitive topic, rethink your approach. It’s not about avoiding tough conversations but about handling them with intentionality and compassion. A willingness to listen and connect can transform your relationship into one that thrives.

Life’s Journey: Finding Strength in Adversity

Life is a tapestry of highs and lows, a mixture of joyous celebrations and inevitable hardships. Along the way, people often encounter challenges that test their resolve, leading to one of life’s most perplexing questions: “Why do bad things happen to good people?” Yet, the reality is that adversity does not discriminate—difficulties arise in every life. While the reasons behind these struggles often remain elusive, they are an intrinsic part of the human experience.

The Certainty of Hard Times

From sudden illnesses and broken relationships to career setbacks, life’s trials can leave individuals feeling shaken and bewildered. In these moments, it’s common to seek explanations or assign blame, often turning inward with questions like, “What did I do to deserve this?”

While self-reflection and accountability are valuable, they do not always yield satisfying answers. As much as people strive to rationalize their pain, some experiences defy explanation. “Sometimes, there simply are no easy answers,” the article reminds us. Instead of dwelling on the “why,” a more productive approach is to accept that pain is an inevitable part of life.

Adopting a Growth-Oriented Perspective

One way to face adversity is by shifting focus from lamenting the situation to exploring the lessons it offers. A growth mindset enables individuals to reframe challenges as opportunities for self-improvement. Rather than succumbing to despair and asking, “Why me?”, one might instead consider, “What can I learn from this?”

A growth mindset transforms obstacles into stepping stones, fostering resilience and strength. Each hardship presents an opportunity to grow, equipping people with the tools to face future challenges. This approach instills a sense of purpose and optimism, helping individuals persevere even during their darkest hours.

Taking Control Amid Uncertainty

A crucial aspect of navigating life’s struggles lies in recognizing the difference between what can and cannot be controlled. Although external events often remain beyond one’s influence, personal reactions to those events are always within reach.

Consider the scenario of losing a job—a distressing and often unexpected occurrence. While the decision to downsize is out of an employee’s hands, their response can shape the outcome. They can either dwell on the loss or use it as an opportunity to reevaluate their goals, acquire new skills, and explore different career paths. The article underscores, “By focusing on our internal reactions and making conscious choices about how we respond to challenges, we empower ourselves to take charge of our own happiness.”

Building Resilience to Rebound

Resilience, the ability to recover from setbacks and adapt to change, is a cornerstone of personal growth. Those who cultivate resilience discover an inner strength that helps them face adversity with courage and determination.

Resilience is not about avoiding difficulties but learning to navigate them effectively. It involves believing in one’s capacity to overcome obstacles and focusing on small, actionable steps. Progress may be slow, but each step forward reinforces the idea that setbacks are temporary and surmountable.

The Role of Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence plays a pivotal role in managing life’s challenges. It encompasses the ability to recognize, understand, and regulate emotions—both one’s own and those of others. Mastering emotional intelligence enables individuals to respond to difficulties constructively rather than react impulsively.

Empathy and compassion are key components of emotional intelligence. Understanding that everyone endures hardships fosters a sense of shared humanity. By extending kindness to oneself and others, individuals create a supportive environment conducive to healing and growth.

Seeking Support: A Vital Step Forward

No one is immune to life’s difficulties, and seeking help is not a sign of weakness but of strength. Talking to trusted friends, family members, or professional counselors can provide valuable insights and a sense of relief. As the article emphasizes, “It takes courage to reach out to others, but it can make a significant difference in your ability to cope with challenges and move forward.”

Sharing burdens not only lightens the load but also opens the door to new perspectives and potential solutions. Support systems play an essential role in helping individuals navigate tough times.

Creating a Meaningful Life

Despite its ups and downs, life offers countless opportunities to find beauty and fulfillment. By adopting a growth mindset, focusing on controllable factors, building resilience, honing emotional intelligence, and seeking support when needed, individuals can rise above adversity and forge a meaningful path forward.

“Remember, don’t give up,” the article concludes. Even in moments of despair, hope persists, and solutions exist. With determination and a positive outlook, no obstacle is insurmountable. Life’s challenges, though daunting, ultimately shape individuals into stronger, more compassionate versions of themselves.

John and Julie Gottman on Strengthening Relationships Through Conflict and Understanding

John and Julie Gottman, renowned for their groundbreaking work in couple’s psychology, have spent decades studying how conflict shapes relationships. Their research offers invaluable insights into how couples can not only survive disagreements but use them to strengthen their bond. Through their work, they’ve created strategies and laws for relationships that are built on the foundation of understanding, empathy, and communication.

John and Julie Gottman have been married for over 35 years, and their partnership has proven instrumental in their research into why some couples thrive, while others fall apart. Their journey began in 1986 when John, alongside a colleague, established a laboratory at the University of Washington to study couples. Soon after, Julie joined the team, and together they named their project the “Love Lab.” The Gottmans wanted to answer a fundamental question: Could they predict the future of relationships?

“We wanted to see whether we could predict the future of relationships,” John Gottman says, explaining the origin of their research.

Their methodology was unique. Couples were invited into the lab, where they would sit across from each other and discuss unresolved issues. These conversations were not only recorded but also monitored for physiological reactions, such as heart rate, blood velocity, and skin conductance. Through these readings, they could assess how stress and emotional reactions were influencing the conversation.

“Couples would come into the lab, sit down, typically facing one another, and we would ask them to think about a problem that they hadn’t solved yet that they wanted to talk about,” Julie Gottman recalls. The couple’s body language, tone of voice, and facial expressions were all analyzed to gain a deeper understanding of how conflict affected their relationship dynamics.

John Gottman elaborates on the physiological monitoring: “We measured things like skin conductance, sweating from the palms of the hands, respiration, and a variety of other signals, and they were synchronized to the video time code.” By meticulously analyzing these metrics, the Gottmans discovered patterns in how couples reacted to stress and disagreement.

The Gottmans’ research demonstrated that when individuals became upset during a conversation, their physiological responses—such as an elevated heart rate (typically over 100 beats per minute) and shallow breathing—indicated a state of emotional flooding. In these instances, they found that the ability to listen and engage in productive problem-solving decreased dramatically.

“What we discovered from the physiological research is that people who stonewalled tended to be what we call flooded, which actually means in fight or flight,” Julie Gottman explains. This emotional flooding, John Gottman adds, triggers the release of stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline, impairing one’s ability to process information. “When you’re flooded, you really feel like you’re in danger of dying. You feel so threatened by your partner that you start to really secrete these stress hormones,” he says. The result is often a breakdown in communication, with partners repeating themselves and becoming increasingly frustrated.

The Gottmans discovered that the key to navigating conflict was not avoiding it, but managing it effectively. Their research led to the identification of what they call the “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse”—four behaviors that, if present during an argument, significantly increase the likelihood of relationship dissolution. These are criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling.

Julie Gottman explains the first horseman: “The first one was criticism—blaming a problem on a personality flaw of your partner. For example, ‘Oh, my God, this place is such a mess. Why are you such a slob?’” The second horseman, contempt, is even more damaging, as it involves superiority, sarcasm, and scorn. “Contempt is like criticism, but it has a dash of superiority,” John Gottman adds. Defensiveness, the third horseman, is when one partner adopts a victim mentality, refusing to take responsibility or listen to the other person’s perspective. “That’s the most common one,” Julie Gottman says. Finally, stonewalling occurs when one partner shuts down completely, refusing to engage with the other.

To combat these destructive behaviors, the Gottmans emphasize the importance of taking breaks during heated conversations. “As soon as you recognize there’s flooding in the room, you say, ‘I think we need to take a break,’” Julie Gottman advises. This allows both partners time to calm down and return to the conversation with a clearer mind. “On the break, you distract yourself by reading, by listening to music, maybe watching TV. So your body has a chance to calm down,” she suggests. When both partners reconvene, they often approach the issue with a renewed sense of understanding.

The Gottmans’ latest book, Fight Right: How Successful Couples Turn Conflict Into Connection, outlines strategies for managing conflict in a way that builds rather than undermines the relationship. One of the exercises they discuss is the “dream-within-conflict” technique, which helps couples understand the underlying dreams and values driving their disagreements.

Julie Gottman gives an example from their work with couples: “We had a woman who was adamantly opposed to getting a dog, but her partner was all for it. They decided to try the dreams-within-conflict conversation.” This exercise helps partners move beyond their positions and explore the deeper emotional needs behind them. When one partner explained that not having a dog meant they could travel freely, the other partner revealed that they saw having a dog as a practice run for raising a family. This deeper understanding allowed them to find common ground.

“Beneath the surface, it was about leading a life of adventure and travel versus staying home and raising a family,” John Gottman notes.

However, not all conflicts can be resolved through understanding. The Gottmans acknowledge that some issues may be deal-breakers, where no amount of compromise or understanding can bridge the gap. John Gottman points out that certain life dreams, such as whether or not to have children or where to live, can be incompatible, leading to a breakup.

“Sometimes one person’s dream is the other person’s nightmare, and they cannot reach a compromise, but at least they know why they’re breaking up,” he explains.

Julie Gottman adds, “Another one that I’ve seen is geography. I treated a couple where one partner lived in Uganda and the other in Switzerland. They loved each other but couldn’t make their future come true.”

Despite these challenges, the Gottmans believe that fighting right can lead to a stronger, longer-lasting relationship. John Gottman concludes, “The payoff is that we can have a lifelong love. Research has shown that when you can do that, you actually live an average of 15 to 17 years longer. You’re healthier, and your kids turn out better.”

Julie Gottman reflects on the deeper nature of love that can emerge when couples work through their conflicts. “What I’ve seen in doing couples therapy for 30 years now is a different kind of love. It’s much more profound,” she says. “Once you’ve seen one person in their fullness, including the cracks, you tend to be more forgiving, I think, of other people.”

The Gottmans’ research and methods offer a path for couples not just to survive conflict but to use it as a foundation for growth, understanding, and connection.

Expert Debra Whitman on Embracing Aging: Keys to a Happier and Healthier Future

As she approached her 50th birthday, Debra Whitman, a specialist on aging, found herself pondering questions about the future. Despite her extensive work in public policy, she couldn’t locate a comprehensive guide for navigating life beyond midlife, similar to guides that prepare people for parenthood. “There was really nothing out there about this second half of life,” said Whitman, now 54 and an executive at AARP as well as a former staff director for the US Senate Special Committee on Aging.

Despite significant advancements in life expectancy, with the population of centenarians in the United States projected to quadruple over the next 30 years, Whitman noted a lack of resources for those wanting to live purposefully into older age. Motivated by this gap, she decided to author The Second Fifty: Answers to the 7 Big Questions of Midlife and Beyond, aiming to shed light on aging’s unique challenges and opportunities.

In an interview just shy of her own 50th birthday, a CNN journalist spoke with Whitman about practical steps for a healthier, more contented second half of life.

When Do Adults Experience Peak Happiness?

Addressing common questions about happiness, Whitman revealed that contentment tends to increase with age. “Personal happiness increases with age,” she said, referencing an AARP survey that found people are generally less happy in their 40s and 50s, but levels of happiness rise dramatically by their 70s. Whitman shared, “By the time we’re in our 70s, that’s when we are happiest. We found that 91% of people over age 70 are happy.” Even among those aged 50 and above, 90% remain optimistic about their future, suggesting that life satisfaction improves with maturity.

Whitman attributes this to greater appreciation for life, improved emotional control, and a positive outlook, even as health issues may become more common. Many older adults, even into their 80s and 90s, still view themselves as healthy despite physical limitations.

Addressing Cognitive Decline

One of the most prominent concerns about aging is the fear of cognitive decline. Whitman noted that “about half of Americans think they’re going to get dementia,” yet only 15% of people, even those in their 70s, experience mild cognitive impairment. She explained that the notion of inevitable memory loss is a misconception.

For those wanting to reduce the risk of dementia, Whitman suggests five essential habits: regular exercise, a balanced diet, maintaining a healthy weight, avoiding smoking, and limiting alcohol intake. Following even one of these habits can extend life expectancy by two years, while practicing all five can add 14 years for women and 12 for men. “Those healthy habits also help our brain health, too,” Whitman said, adding that just a few of these lifestyle changes could reduce dementia risk by up to a third.

Learning From Other Cultures

Whitman’s research also led her to study aging in different cultures. While many countries face similar demographic shifts, she observed that some, like Singapore, proactively address aging by fostering a lifelong culture of learning and engagement. Singapore’s Silver Academies, designed to keep older adults mentally sharp, offer both educational and job-training programs, encouraging active aging.

In New Zealand, Whitman encountered the Kiwi Coffin Club, an initiative sparked by Maori elder Katie Williams. When Williams suggested a class on coffin decoration, she realized that many shared her interest. The club now serves as both a social and support group, where members decorate coffins with personal symbols, from favorite hikes to beloved themes like Elvis. The club even provides coffins for low-income families and customizes coffins for young children. Whitman found it inspiring to see older adults connecting over meaningful projects and giving back to their communities, illustrating a unique approach to both life and death.

The Importance of Community in Aging

Whitman emphasized that having strong social connections is crucial for healthy aging. “Being socially isolated is the equivalent of smoking 15 cigarettes a day,” she explained, adding that isolation can reduce life expectancy by as much as 15 years. Citing Dr. Robert Waldinger, leader of the long-running Harvard Study of Adult Development, Whitman shared that adults who enjoy fulfilling relationships and robust community ties tend to be healthier well into their 80s.

Cultivating a Positive Mindset on Aging

Whitman believes that mindset plays an essential role in the aging process. “If you think that aging is a positive time of life…you live seven and a half years longer,” she said. A positive perspective not only promotes longevity but also reduces risks for strokes, heart attacks, and even dementia. Whitman noted that a constructive outlook on aging can enhance physical and mental health by fostering a sense of purpose and resilience.

Challenging Misconceptions About Advance Directives

Discussing end-of-life preferences, Whitman explained how she had originally planned to advise people to set advance medical directives. However, Dr. Diane Meier, a pioneer in palliative care, offered a different view. Meier pointed out that advance directives might not always reflect a person’s current wishes and can sometimes be limiting. During the COVID-19 pandemic, many individuals chose not to go on ventilators, not realizing they could recover and be removed from ventilators once they improved. Meier advocates for designating a trusted individual to make medical decisions on one’s behalf rather than rigidly outlining preferences in advance.

Whitman now encourages open, ongoing conversations with loved ones to ensure that decisions align with one’s evolving needs and values. She highlighted that as people age, their views on end-of-life care often shift, so these conversations should continue throughout life to accommodate changes.

Preparing for Life’s Physical and Financial Realities

The journey through later life brings various practical needs, from vision and dental care to long-term health services. Whitman pointed out that these needs can be both anticipated and managed with appropriate planning. “There are a lot of holes that we can fall into across our second 50 years,” she said, stressing that preparation can significantly ease the aging experience. Acknowledging the needs of an aging population at a national level is also essential to support the wellbeing of older citizens, Whitman argued.

Making Time for Connection and Gratitude

Reflecting on her own life, Whitman shared that writing her book inspired her to prioritize relationships. With her children now in college, she focuses on maintaining close ties with family and friends. “I think carrying a sense of gratitude through my life as well is really important,” she said, highlighting that nurturing personal bonds and values plays a vital role in ensuring a fulfilling “second 50.”

Whitman’s advice underscores a proactive approach to aging: adopting healthy habits, fostering social connections, cultivating positivity, and preparing for future needs. She believes that both individuals and society must take steps to address aging, ensuring that everyone can enjoy a longer, healthier, and more satisfying life. Through her work, Whitman hopes to guide others in embracing the opportunities that come with growing older.

Nine Daily Habits to Look Younger in 60 Days

The search for youthfulness is timeless, yet it’s less about finding a magical elixir and more about adopting a few transformative habits. Implementing these habits daily can make you look and feel younger within just two months. The goal isn’t to hide age but to embrace it with grace, confidence, and health.

This approach doesn’t involve drastic changes or pricey treatments. Rather, these simple, everyday actions can brighten your appearance and improve your overall confidence.

Here are nine habits that can make a noticeable difference in your appearance, giving you a vibrant glow within 60 days.

  1. Hydrate Continuously

Drinking water seems basic, but it’s a powerful step toward youthful skin. Many overlook the importance of hydration, yet it helps maintain skin’s plumpness, smooths wrinkles, and supports a natural glow. Staying hydrated also helps detoxify the body, which is essential for a refreshed appearance.

Think about it—when dehydrated, skin becomes dull, dark circles form, and wrinkles become more pronounced. Make it a habit to drink at least eight glasses of water a day. Though it might seem like a lot initially, it will soon feel natural, and you’ll wonder how you ever managed without it.

  1. Wear Sunscreen Daily

Sunscreen isn’t just for beach days; it’s essential year-round. Many, like the author, regret not adopting this habit earlier. “I thought sunscreen was only necessary when heading to the beach or spending a significant amount of time directly in the sun. Boy, was I wrong.” UV rays can damage the skin anytime they reach us, even through clouds or cool temperatures, causing wrinkles, dark spots, and other signs of aging.

Now, sunscreen is as essential as brushing teeth every morning, applied rain or shine. Using a moisturizer with SPF 30 or more has made a noticeable difference, leading to an even skin tone, improved texture, and fewer fine lines around the eyes and mouth.

  1. Get Sufficient Sleep

Adequate sleep is fundamental for youthfulness, as it’s not just a recharge for the body but also for the skin. During sleep, the body repairs daily damage and gets ready for the next day. Chronic sleep deprivation, however, accelerates aging, leading to dull skin, dark circles, and fine lines.

While asleep, collagen production increases significantly, which is crucial for skin elasticity. When well-rested, the skin looks brighter, healthier, and rejuvenated.

  1. Exercise Regularly

Exercise benefits the body and mind, but it also contributes to radiant, youthful skin. Physical activity boosts blood flow to the skin, bringing in oxygen and nutrients that are key to skin health. It also promotes collagen production, resulting in firmer, younger-looking skin.

Sweating during exercise helps flush out toxins from the body, preventing clogged pores and skin issues. Any exercise—from brisk walks and yoga sessions to intense high-intensity workouts—can be beneficial for the skin.

  1. Eat a Colorful Diet

Diet plays a significant role in skin health. Consuming excessive processed foods, sugars, and unhealthy fats can cause breakouts, dullness, and speed up the aging process. On the other hand, a diet rich in fruits and vegetables, packed with antioxidants, can have the opposite effect.

For instance, red bell peppers are rich in anti-aging antioxidants, while papaya is loaded with vitamins, minerals, and antioxidants that improve skin elasticity and reduce fine lines. Aim to “eat the rainbow” by including various colorful fruits and vegetables in daily meals, which will not only make you look younger but also improve overall health.

  1. Practice Mindfulness

Stress affects more than just the mind; it also has a visible impact on the skin. When stressed, the body releases cortisol, which can cause acne, wrinkles, and skin conditions like rosacea. Practicing mindfulness can be a powerful way to mitigate these effects.

Yoga, meditation, or simply deep breathing can reduce stress, fostering a youthful appearance. “Beauty truly does come from within,” notes the author. Taking care of the inner self allows the outer self to reflect that well-being.

  1. Quit Smoking

The author recounts their experience with smoking and its toll on the skin: “I used to be a smoker, and I can tell you firsthand about the damage it does to your skin.” Smoking restricts blood flow to the skin, depriving it of oxygen and nutrients. Additionally, the chemicals in tobacco harm collagen and elastin, essential proteins for firm and elastic skin.

After quitting, the author noticed improved skin health, a brighter complexion, and fewer lines around the mouth. This visible transformation demonstrates the skin’s capacity to heal when spared the damage caused by smoking.

  1. Drink Alcohol in Moderation

Alcohol has a dehydrating effect that leaves skin looking dry and dull. It also triggers inflammation, which can cause skin sagging and wrinkles over time. While occasional drinks are fine, reducing alcohol intake is better for the skin’s appearance.

Consider substituting a nightly drink with a hydrating herbal tea a few times a week. This switch not only aids hydration but also improves sleep quality, which benefits skin health overall.

  1. Appreciate and Care for Your Skin

Finally, one of the most important aspects of youthful skin is self-love. The author emphasizes the need to treat skin gently, nourishing it and embracing its unique qualities. Lines and wrinkles reflect a life lived fully, and they can be worn proudly while still caring for the skin.

Beauty emanates from within, and self-love amplifies this beyond physical appearance. True beauty lies in acceptance and mindful care, which shine through to the outside.

Balancing Act for Overall Well-Being

Each of these habits contributes to a balanced lifestyle that enhances not only appearance but also overall well-being. “The beautiful thing about these habits is that they all feed into one another,” the author observes. A good night’s sleep can reduce stress, a balanced diet complements exercise, and all of these promote healthier, more youthful-looking skin.

Consistency is the key to transforming these habits into a routine that naturally yields lasting results. Just as true beauty comes from within, so does the resilience and radiance achieved through daily dedication to self-care.

7 November, 2024: Just Another Man of the Mountains

set in Zeni, the Republic of Abkhazia

Father takes a break from pouring water into his mother’s mouth to look up and notice that he is not just at home, but also at the bottom of the mountains, and all around him is the beauty of Svaneti. He sees this view from the window every day, but for the first time in his life, he is astounded by the tint of the sky and the shape of the mountains. It is like the mountains are curling around him and his home. They are inverted white-powdered cones stacked together under an infinite swathe of blue. The day is just beginning. And unlike when Father was working, the mountains are no longer a nuisance for Father to drive around on the way to the hospital in the bigger town of Gali.

They are his surroundings, they are a part of his world, they are the source of his air and water.

Father sips some coffee, slowly savouring the bitter taste. The beauty of being retired is that the day is no longer a back and forth between hospital and home, a rush from one duty to another. There is time for introspection. There is time to remember who he is beyond the work he does. And there is time to consider the value of his wife, the state of his mother, the taste of food, and the beauty of nature.

His mother was once a beautiful mountain girl. Father remembers how she’d make matsoni out of milk in the early hours of the day. He remembers the barely built-up cottage he grew up in, how the sheep and goat would come harass them from outside the windows of their home, how cold he felt cuddling in his wool blankets in the winter. There was no heating in that house, and Zeni is in the lowlands unlike Chegali, but otherwise things are more or less the same.

He hasn’t visited the hospital or the town of Gali for a good forty days. He thought he’d still be visiting often after he retired for the check-ups that his mother, the Andu of family Gogia, would require.

But Andu Gogia has been doing better in the last month. Instead of making a pained or frustrated face at the wall, she smiles whenever Father walks into the room, her eyes lighting up. She doesn’t sit in her wheelchair silently and wait for the day to pass. She’s gone back to attempting communication, though her mind has forgotten how to construct the words. She blathers incoherent syllables and sounds, but the point is that it feels like a conversation.

Feeding her is still incredibly difficult. The hole in her throat has long been patched up and the feeding tube is no more, but Andu Gogia still gargles when she is supposed to be swallowing the food from Father’s spoon. Even when she drinks water she coughs longly and loudly after every sip. Many people are dying of old age in Abkhazia. Father was used to these sorts of sounds when it came from his patients. He always felt removed from them. Their problems were things to be solved like mathematical puzzles, and their deaths the results when he failed at his task or when he couldn’t do more. He never thought health problems could concern him at a spiritual level until he treated his mother. He is worried about her impending death, and admittedly this makes him feel more human.

Father feels the coffee stains on the top of his lips. He really smells them, he really tastes them.

This is what it means to be human.

The breakfast ends. Father cleans the pastry pieces that have fallen onto the floor while his mother’s coughing slows down. When she calms down, Father asks her:

« An, do you know what time it is? Do you know what we are doing? »

« Da da da… »

Andu Gogia’s eyes light up.

It is time for them to go for their walk, which is really a euphemism for what they will be doing. It is mostly Father pushing his mother in her wheelchair up and down the pothole-ridden road, passing by the cottages on both sides for several rounds, and then returning home. Had Father been told a few years ago that he would have gone from a successful and accomplished doctor to a person who pushes a wheelchair once every few hours, he would have had a panic attack. How dare he be insulted, how dare he be taken down, how dare he be told he’d be doing anything other than the important work of a doctor attempting the Hippocratic oath.

Now he sees this walk as his favourite part of the day, and he can’t believe that he spent so many years of his life without doing so.

« Come, An. We are going for our walk. Can you say walk? »

« Wa, wa, wam » Andu Gogia murmurs excitedly. « Wa ya tu, tu ra gu. »

« Yes, An, good. I am happy, too. »

They head out. The temperature is cold, but nothing compared to winter. Andu Gogia shivers with a frightened look, but as she notices the cottages on both sides and the backdrop of the mountains, her body relaxes. She lets her body be one with the wheelchair. She is ready for the ride.

Right on the steps of one of the cottages are two girls. One looks like a teenager and the other is on the cusp of her teenage years. They are both smoking cigarettes and gossiping. They usually ignore Father, but as he has become a common fixture of the street for the last month, they smile and wave and sometimes shout, « How are you, Andu? » to his mother as they pass.

Today, they say nothing. The younger girl looks worried. Father is tempted to stop and ask if something is wrong, but he knows he ought to mind his business, and it is a few degrees above the freezing point. If they pause, his mother will get cold.

The road is frozen and hard. Over many weeks of practice, Father has learned how to manage with the potholes. Still, one of the neighbours, a guy who loves to sit idly in his truck, makes the same comments whenever they come around.

« You should be careful on this road. If the wheelchair trips over, she will fall. »

« I know. »

« And then if she breaks something, what will you do? »

« I am a doctor. I will take her to the hospital. »

The man nods, as if he is satistfied, despite him saying the same thing the next day and Father responding in the exact same way.

Sometimes a smile breaks on his face, and he asks something random. Today, he feels like talking about his family.

« My daughter told me last night that she is immigrating to Russia. »

« That is good. She will make good money there. »

« I think she is going because she has found a boyfriend. She is talking to some boy online from Chechnya. I saw it in the browsing records from her computer. I do not want her to be with one of those Chechens. I see how they treat women. I know what they will do to her. »

Father smiles half-heartedly. The truth, as he has seen, is that it often backfires to meddle in the affairs of one’s children. His son was living life as a homosexual far away from them. Because Father had told him to stop, he stopped talking to them altogether. Over the last year, at least he was returning their calls or calling himself on special occasions like birthdays or to check up on his grandmother. But regardless Father knows things would be different if he had kept his mouth shut.

It’s easy to remember this advice but hard to practice when the children are there. The emotions flare up, and one sees them not as the adults they are now but as the kids they were back then. They fell because they didn’t stand when they were told to; they chose bad careers because they didn’t listen to what their parents said.

Anyways, Andu Gogia is gasping to herself. This is her way of communicating that they have stopped for long enough and she would prefer for them to move on. Father points downwards to the woman and the man nods knowingly. He says politely:

« We will talk tomorrow. Have a good day. »

« Have a good day, » Father replies and waves. The man reciprocates. As he turns back to make sure that nothing fell off the wheelchair onto the road, he observes the man rolling up his window but smiling widely. Father can tell he is actually excited to continue his complaining tomorrow. Father will have to be sterner about how he is only out to spend time with his mother or the man will continue to absorb his time.

As they continue on the road, Father sees a woman feeding the birds and another going to milk her cow. They wave fondly at them both. There are some boys getting into a car to be taken to school. There are some women walking in a group on the way to another’s home.

Whenever Mother talks about these neighbours, it is to complain, as if they are the worst humans she has ever met. She’s been the subject of a lot of their gossip, and Father has been tainted by those experiences. But over the last month, Father has gotten to know a lot of them better through these small talks, and he’s finding everyone quite pleasant and warm. He thinks he would enjoy these interactions even without his mother there. He’d probably go out of his way to talk with them, too.

Actually, he does have the free time. He’s no longer rushing about. Why should he not stop to chat with them or invite himself over if he so chooses? Father has gone back to being another one of the villagers. He’s just another man of the mountains. He’s just another one of the neighbours, a community member, a person who lives on this road.

He notices his mother is shivering. He puts the blanket firmly over her. He whispers softly in her ear to provide some of the warmth of his breath, and also some of the warmth of what he is thinking.

« There are good people all around us. We are truly blessed. »

Andu Gogia smiles and says triumphantly, « Ah ga ga! »

The walk is over, and he turns the wheelchair back homewards, excited for the warmth of the heater as well as the achma Mother will have made for lunch. And he feels warmer yet thinking about the fact that, in a way, he is like achma. He is not just one piece of food wasting idly on the side of a plate. He and all of his people are like the melded cheese, singular and firm in consistency, but melded under the spread of the layers of dough.

U.S. and Canada Prepare for Annual Fall Back to Standard Time

As the annual time shift approaches, most parts of the United States and Canada are gearing up to return to standard time, with clocks scheduled to move back an hour early on Sunday morning. The transition officially happens at 2 a.m., when clocks are set back to 1 a.m. This shift grants an extra hour of sleep for many, while overnight workers experience an additional hour in their shifts. The return to standard time means earlier sunrises, but also earlier sunsets, ushering in the shortest days of the year over the next six weeks.

For many people, automated and electronic devices, like smartphones and computers, will adjust to the new time on their own. However, time will still need to be manually changed on some appliances, such as older microwaves, stoves, and certain car clocks. A few may relate to the sentiment of a writer who noted, “I still haven’t fixed my stove, which has been blinking an incorrect time since a power outage back in July, so that ship has sailed.”

The History of Daylight Saving Time

The concept of daylight saving time dates back to 1784, when Benjamin Franklin, in a lighthearted jest, suggested the practice. In a satirical letter to the editor of the Journal of Paris, Franklin humorously calculated how much Parisians could save on candles if they adjusted their schedules during the winter.

Germany became the first country to officially implement daylight saving time in 1916, followed by the United States in 1918. Initially, it was met with resistance from farmers, who found the change inconvenient as it limited the morning hours available to harvest and prepare goods for market openings.

Although the concept had been introduced, a nationwide daylight saving time law didn’t go into effect in the U.S. until 1966. Before that, during the 1940s and ’50s, local governments were free to set their own schedules, leading to widespread confusion, particularly in the transportation sector. In response, the Uniform Time Act of 1966 established consistent dates for daylight saving time across the country, while allowing states to opt out as long as their choice was uniform statewide. Interestingly, the U.S. Department of Transportation was assigned the task of enforcing this legislation to ensure consistent timekeeping.

Today, most states observe daylight saving time and participate in the annual “fall back” on the first Sunday in November. However, there are exceptions. Arizona, Hawaii, and U.S. territories like American Samoa, Guam, the Northern Mariana Islands, Puerto Rico, and the U.S. Virgin Islands all opt out. Arizona’s time practice is especially unique. While the state largely observes standard time year-round, the Navajo Nation, which covers a significant portion of Arizona, still participates in the daylight saving time change.

The Debate: Should We Stop Changing Clocks?

The tradition of changing clocks twice a year has long sparked debate, with many Americans expressing a preference to end the practice. There have been multiple attempts in Congress to make daylight saving time permanent, but most efforts have stalled.

Additionally, there is a regional push to adopt a different time zone for certain areas in the Northeast. In states like Rhode Island, Connecticut, and parts of Massachusetts, many advocate for a move to Atlantic Standard Time. This shift would mean cities such as Boston and Providence would share the same time zone as Nova Scotia, potentially eliminating early winter sunsets before 4:30 p.m. “Boston’s earliest sunsets happen at 4:11 p.m. during the first week in December, even though sunrises creep before 7 a.m.,” according to proponents of this proposal, which gained some traction in 2016.

However, for those in northern regions like Utqiagvik, Alaska, the impact of daylight saving time is minimal. In Utqiagvik, the northernmost town in the United States, the sun sets for a period lasting 62 days, and no time change can alter that.

Exploring Bhutan’s Philosophy: Ron Gutman on Simplicity as the Key to Happiness

What is the essence of human happiness? It’s a question that has intrigued humanity for centuries. Ron Gutman, a Stanford adjunct professor, serial entrepreneur, author, speaker, and award-winning inventor, has dedicated a significant portion of his career to understanding it. Known for his widely viewed TED Talk from 2011, *”The Hidden Power of Smiling,”* Gutman took his research to the next level with a trip to Bhutan in October 2024, hoping to uncover insights on happiness from the South Asian kingdom where well-being is prioritized over economic growth.

Journeying Through Bhutan

In October, Gutman embarked on a three-week exploration of Bhutan, a country often called the Kingdom of Bhutan, nestled in the eastern Himalayas. Accompanied by academics, clergy, and local guides, Gutman trekked across the country’s rugged landscape, absorbing the Bhutanese way of life and their understanding of happiness. Bhutan is notable for its focus on “Gross National Happiness,” a concept coined in the 1970s by Bhutan’s fourth king, Jigme Singye Wangchuck. The king asserted, “Gross National Happiness is more important than Gross Domestic Product,” as quoted in a recent OECD report. This philosophy of prioritizing collective happiness and well-being over economic advancement distinguishes Bhutan on the world stage.

“Going deep into understanding happiness led me to researching Bhutan, because they put an emphasis on this,” Gutman explained in an interview with CNBC Make It. He added, “It made me want to understand it from their vantage point, right? So, [I wanted] to go and listen to them, to the people that have been getting this knowledge, from generation to generation for many [years].”

Most of Gutman’s journey was a physically demanding climb through Bhutan’s high-altitude terrain, traveling mostly on foot or by local means. The elevation ranged from around 1,000 feet to nearly 14,000 feet, offering him ample opportunity to immerse himself in Bhutan’s serene and awe-inspiring natural environment.

Bhutan’s Unique Connection to Nature

Environmental sustainability is deeply embedded in Bhutan’s national identity. The country is the world’s first “carbon-negative” nation, a status helped by its extensive forests, which cover over 70% of the country. A 2023 report highlights how this dedication to conservation has shaped Bhutan’s policies and practices. Gutman observed, “They’re very mindful of nature, very protective of nature… It’s sacred for them. You can’t cut a tree without getting a very special permit.”

For many Bhutanese, the bond with nature is more profound than simple respect; it is foundational to their identity. Gutman noted how locals perceive their lives as not merely connected to nature but as emanating from it. This deeply ingrained belief reflects Bhutan’s commitment to safeguarding its natural environment as a crucial component of its philosophy on happiness and well-being.

The Key to Happiness: Simplicity

So, what is the key to happiness? For Gutman, the answer lies in simplicity. He discovered during his time in Bhutan that happiness is closely tied to mindfulness, which can often be found through a connection with nature. Gutman observed, “The more I progress in the research of happiness, the more I personally understand it better, the more I connect it to mindfulness.”

He realized, by observing Bhutanese people and conversing with local religious figures, that happiness is rooted in mindfulness. In his view, modern culture often fosters a fixation on external stimuli, which can become overwhelming. “In modern culture, we’re very concentrated on what’s happening outside. There’s a lot of stimulus that is coming at us …. At some point, we become almost prisoners of that,” he said. In contrast, nature, Gutman reflected, has a calming effect: “Nature creates the exact opposite …. Nature is just there, it just happens.”

Gutman describes this discovery as a revelation about the “empty self.” Just as nature exists in a state of tranquility, so too can human consciousness, he argues. Whether resting beside a secluded lake or hurrying through a bustling city, Gutman believes that our consciousness remains inherently calm and unchanged. He remarked, “We basically choose to get stressed by all these sensory emotions… [because] actually, the inside of us is calm and empty, right? Nature helps see that and understand that.”

Bhutan’s Challenges

However, despite its strengths, Bhutan faces numerous challenges. Only recently did Bhutan leave the UN’s Least Developed Countries category in December. The nation’s GDP per capita was approximately $3,700 in 2022, according to World Bank figures. “We look at it as maybe poverty — low GDP,” Gutman explained. Yet, he was struck by the happiness he observed among Bhutanese citizens, despite their relative lack of material wealth. “It’s not an easy life because these are not wealthy people, but they’re happy,” he said.

The Bhutanese government has been actively working to improve the economy while maintaining its values of environmental sustainability and Gross National Happiness. Policies like a daily tourism fee are one way Bhutan tries to uphold its guiding principles. Gutman believes that Bhutan’s balance between progress and tradition exemplifies a unique approach to growth. “It’s a country that demonstrates how you can innovate without forgetting the ancient wisdom that has supported them for centuries,” he said.

Lessons from Bhutan’s Approach

Gutman’s experience in Bhutan highlighted for him the importance of balancing innovation with tradition. Many developed nations, he observed, often prioritize rapid development and constant change, leaving behind some foundational values. He explained, “When we rush towards the innovation, the new thing, doing things faster, better, easier, cheaper … The thing is, we forget to take with us this very solid foundation that keeps the core very strong. So we’re building a little bit on water.”

According to Gutman, the Bhutanese model shows that slower progress, grounded in strong ethics and mindfulness, can create a more resilient society. He pointed out, “And I think what Bhutanese are doing really well … is keeping that strong core of beliefs, of morals, of ethics, of mindfulness as the foundation of how they make progress. So progress is, sure, slower, but more solid, right? And, I think that’s something to learn from them.”

Conclusion: A Path to Inner Calm

Through his journey, Gutman gained valuable insights on the simplicity of happiness. In Bhutan, he encountered a culture that values mindfulness, a connection with nature, and a slower, more deliberate approach to progress. Gutman left with a sense of admiration for Bhutan’s commitment to preserving its environment, traditions, and focus on Gross National Happiness, offering the world a unique perspective on well-being that contrasts sharply with many developed nations.

In an era dominated by a relentless drive for economic advancement, Gutman’s experience in Bhutan serves as a reminder that happiness might not come from pursuing more but rather from embracing less. The “empty self” and the simplicity found in nature and mindfulness, Gutman argues, could offer a more profound understanding of happiness for those willing to look inward instead of outward.

Bhutan’s Visionary ‘Mindfulness City’ Aims to Redefine Sustainable Living Alongside India

Bhutan, widely recognized as one of the happiest nations globally, is embarking on a transformative project with the potential to set new standards in sustainable living. This ambitious venture, known as the “Mindfulness City,” is underway in Gelephu, a Special Administrative Region (SAR) in Bhutan. Spanning over 2,500 square kilometers, the region will function as a semi-autonomous zone, equipped with its own government, legal system, and judiciary, establishing it as an independent entity within Bhutan.

The project’s distinctiveness lies not just in its size but in its commitment to sustainability and harmonious living with nature. Gelephu Mindfulness City will incorporate two protected ecological zones: a national park and a wildlife sanctuary. These areas will house a network of rivers with renewable energy capacity, projected to generate between 4,000 and 5,000 megawatts of electricity. Additionally, the city will feature agricultural zones, small towns, extensive forests, and diverse wildlife, aligning with Bhutan’s dedication to environmental conservation and sustainable practices.

Bhutan’s King Jigme Khesar Namgyel Wangchuck conceived this “Mindfulness City” to elevate the nation’s growth while preserving its values and resources. The king envisions a place where individuals from various backgrounds can live together in harmony with nature, fostering a multicultural yet ecologically focused society. Prime Minister Tshering Tobgay spoke at the NDTV World Summit in New Delhi, describing the project as “Gross National Happiness 2.0.” He shared, “This is what we call ‘Gross National Happiness 2.0,'” highlighting the city’s goal to enhance the well-being of Bhutanese people through a refined model of sustainable and mindful urban living.

Significantly, Gelephu is strategically situated near Bhutan’s border with Assam, India. The prime minister noted that the location choice is intended to strengthen ties with India, emphasizing that the city will “directly benefit India” in numerous ways. This proximity to India underscores Bhutan’s commitment to collaboration with its neighboring country. The Bhutanese Prime Minister added, “The King had one word for why Gelephu: ‘India’,” illustrating the visionary outlook for integrating Bhutan and India’s futures.

The choice of Gelephu, a biologically rich and pristine area, was not arbitrary. Initially, Prime Minister Tobgay questioned why the project wasn’t placed in Bhutan’s existing infrastructure hubs like Thimphu or Paro, where airports and highways already exist. In response, the king conveyed that Bhutan’s future is inseparably linked with India, explaining, “If we chose any other place, then such a project may succeed, it may have its challenges, but if we plan this along the border with India, the concept itself will drive it to success.” This statement underscores Bhutan’s strategy to develop a collaborative, cross-border vision with India through this groundbreaking city.

Once realized, the Mindfulness City will occupy nearly 2.5% of Bhutan’s total landmass, an area more expansive than the entire nation of Singapore. Comparatively, it will dwarf Bhutan’s capital, Thimphu, which spans just 26 square kilometers, in contrast to Gelephu’s impressive 2,500 square kilometers. The city’s blueprint involves a series of “inhabitable bridges” that will link different areas, fostering a sense of interconnectedness across the region’s natural rivers and streams.

The architectural layout of Gelephu Mindfulness City aims for a low-rise skyline, emphasizing harmony with the surrounding landscape. The city will feature amenities typically found in modern urban centers, including a university, healthcare facilities offering both Western and traditional treatments, markets, and spiritual centers. The development will also see the construction of hydroelectric power plants and hydroponic greenhouses, further supporting Bhutan’s environmentally-conscious objectives.

The city will be divided into 11 key neighborhoods, spanning 35 rivers and streams, designed as mandalas with central public spaces, reinforcing the focus on community and inclusiveness. This design mirrors Bhutan’s Gross National Happiness (GNH) philosophy, where personal well-being, community spirit, and environmental preservation outweigh mere economic considerations. This philosophy has garnered global recognition for its emphasis on a holistic approach to progress, prioritizing the quality of life over GDP growth alone. The kingdom has expressed that the city will prioritize “not just economic development, but personal well-being,” aiming to set a precedent for future urban planning worldwide.

Construction on an international airport in Gelephu has already commenced, setting the stage for the city’s integration into the global network while preserving its unique mindfulness-oriented character. The city aims to redefine modern living, demonstrating how future cities might function in balance with the environment while achieving a high standard of living and well-being for their residents.

Five Signs You’re in a Functional but Emotionally Distant Relationship and What You Can Do About It

Relationships may seem well-adjusted from the outside; you and your partner manage daily responsibilities, communicate smoothly, and rarely clash. Friends and family may even see you as an ideal couple, united and reliable. However, beneath this polished exterior, you might be dealing with an underlying, disheartening void—a feeling that something essential is missing. Conversations might feel shallow, intimacy could seem routine, and the bond you once had may feel more like a faded memory than a current reality.

If you’ve ever wondered whether you’re just “going through the motions” or acting out roles rather than truly connecting, it’s possible that you’re in a functional but loveless relationship. Identifying signs of such a relationship can help you decide whether to reignite the emotional spark or explore alternative options. Here are five signs that may indicate you’re in a functional but emotionally lacking relationship.

  1. Conversations Are Only About Practical Matters, Not Personal Connections

A telltale sign of a functional relationship is the dominance of surface-level communication. Conversations typically revolve around daily logistics: coordinating schedules, managing household chores, or discussing finances. While these exchanges are vital for household management, they don’t nurture emotional closeness or deepen the relationship.

In a relationship rooted in emotional closeness, partners discuss more than logistics. They feel comfortable sharing their dreams, insecurities, and deeper thoughts, creating a genuine intimacy. As researcher Michael Kardas of Northwestern University’s Kellogg School of Management points out, meaningful conversations with others can provide unexpected joy and fulfillment.

When conversations with your partner rarely touch on personal topics, and a once-deep connection feels distant, it could be an indication that the relationship has transitioned from emotionally fulfilling to merely functional.

  1. Emotional Support Is Lacking, Only Coexistence Remains

One of the hallmarks of a healthy, loving relationship is the presence of mutual emotional support. Partners in such relationships offer each other reassurance, listen attentively to concerns, and respond with empathy. This emotional bond creates a sense of security, allowing each person to feel they have someone to rely on during difficult times.

However, in a functional but loveless relationship, emotional support may be missing. Attempts to share personal challenges might be met with indifference or minimal interest, prompting you to seek support from friends or family instead. This absence of emotional responsiveness can make you feel like you’re merely coexisting rather than connecting, which diminishes the relationship’s sense of vitality and partnership.

  1. Physical Affection Feels Obligatory Rather Than Genuine

Physical affection—including hugs, kisses, cuddling, and intimacy—is fundamental to romantic relationships. Studies show that these physical gestures can enhance emotional closeness, passion, and even mental well-being. In a loving relationship, affectionate actions feel genuine and contribute to a profound connection between partners.

In a relationship lacking love, physical affection may still occur, but it often feels forced or transactional. Intimate moments may lack the emotional depth they once had, leading to feelings of detachment or dissatisfaction. When affection feels like a routine task rather than a sincere expression of love, it’s a sign that the relationship has lost its emotional resonance.

  1. Avoidance of Issues Due to a “Fine” Status Quo

In many emotionally detached relationships, partners avoid addressing underlying issues because everything appears to be “fine” on the surface. This tendency often stems from a desire to keep the peace; partners may believe it’s unnecessary to “rock the boat” if no visible problems exist.

However, ignoring deeper issues only widens the emotional gap over time. Studies have shown that repressing emotions can lead to poor communication and weakened connections. In a loving relationship, there’s usually a willingness to confront and work through difficulties. Avoiding such discussions to maintain a superficial harmony can signal a lack of emotional foundation necessary for navigating conflicts and growing together as a couple.

  1. You Feel Alone, Even When Together

Perhaps the most poignant sign of a functional yet emotionally empty relationship is a sense of isolation that persists even in your partner’s presence. You may share meals, participate in activities, or manage household responsibilities together, yet feel emotionally distanced and lonely. This disheartening experience highlights the absence of true companionship in the relationship.

In their book Addressing Loneliness: Coping, Prevention and Clinical Interventions, the authors state that when a relationship doesn’t provide emotional security, it can lead to an overwhelming sense of loneliness. Without emotional intimacy, partners may withdraw, leading to a profound sense of solitude. If you often feel alone, even with your partner nearby, it’s time to evaluate whether the relationship can be revitalized or if a different path would be more fulfilling.

What Can You Do?

Realizing you’re in a functional but emotionally disconnected relationship is challenging, but it’s also a crucial first step toward meaningful change. If you relate to these signs, it doesn’t mean the relationship is beyond repair.

Many couples go through periods where emotional intimacy takes a backseat to daily responsibilities. To address the emotional disconnection, consider these steps:

  1. Initiate Open and Honest Conversations: Begin by expressing your feelings openly. Avoid blaming or judging your partner, and focus on communicating your own experiences and needs. Using “I” statements can help create a non-accusatory, respectful environment.
  1. Dedicate Time for Deeper Discussions: Set aside regular time for open conversations, perhaps through weekly “check-ins,” where both partners have the opportunity to share their thoughts and emotions without interruption.
  1. Consider Therapy: Seeking the guidance of a professional, either individually or as a couple, can be extremely beneficial. Therapists can help you navigate these feelings, break down communication barriers, and develop strategies to rebuild emotional intimacy.

These proactive steps may help you determine whether the relationship can be rekindled or if it’s best to move forward in a new direction. Reconnecting emotionally takes effort, but it’s possible if both partners are willing to work on their bond and prioritize each other’s needs.

By recognizing the signs of a functional but emotionally distant relationship and taking steps to address the underlying issues, you may be able to reignite the emotional spark or make an informed decision about your future.

Marry the Right Person, Lead by Example: Warren Buffett’s Insights on Success in Life and Business

Warren Buffett, a man with a net worth of $142 billion, offers invaluable advice not only on how to make smart business decisions but also on how to lead a fulfilling life. His fortune, amassed over decades, has only grown more impressive as he has donated approximately $56 billion to various charities. As the saying by Jim Rohn goes, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with,” Buffett underscores that whom you choose to spend your time with is critical—especially your spouse.

In Buffett’s words:

“You want to associate with people who are the kind of person you’d like to be. You’ll move in that direction. And the most important person by far in that respect is your spouse.”

Buffett strongly believes that marrying the right person will make an enormous difference in one’s life. “I can’t overemphasize how important that is. Marry the right person. I’m serious about that. It will make more difference in your life,” he emphasizes.

Studies back up Buffett’s perspective. A 2021 report from the U.S. Census Bureau reveals that married individuals tend to earn considerably more than their unmarried counterparts, and their net worth is often three times greater. Additionally, the Bureau of Labor Statistics found that married couples spend around $10,000 less per person annually than unmarried individuals.

Beyond financial implications, the choice of a life partner plays a significant role in professional success. Research from Washington University in St. Louis, which has been previously discussed, shows that people with reliable and prudent partners perform better at work, receive more promotions, earn higher salaries, and are generally more satisfied with their careers. This effect is attributed to what the researchers term “partner conscientiousness,” which positively influences job satisfaction, income, and career advancement. The study notes that conscientious partners tend to manage more household tasks, exhibit pragmatic behaviors, and contribute to a more satisfying home environment. This, in turn, allows both partners to focus more effectively on their professional lives.

Buffett’s views, echoed by Rohn’s saying, highlight the influence of those closest to us. Good habits are contagious. If one partner is organized and efficient, the other partner benefits by being able to focus more on work. Furthermore, if the less organized partner adopts these traits, both partners can more effectively manage their business and personal lives, potentially leading to greater wealth accumulation.

However, while marriage may lead to financial prosperity, it doesn’t necessarily guarantee better health. A study published in the Journal of Physical Activity and Health found that individuals in romantic relationships tend to exercise less than their single counterparts. The study notes that moderate to vigorous physical activities, like running or lifting weights, are less common among those in relationships. The researchers found that people in romantic relationships are more likely to engage in activities such as eating or watching TV together, rather than exercising. As they put it, “For those with a partner, current (exercise) levels are substantially lower when the partner is present than when the partner is absent.”

This finding reveals that people in relationships tend to engage in less physical activity when they spend time together. In short, the presence of a partner can significantly reduce the likelihood of exercising, as couples often prioritize spending time together over physical activity.

Another study, published in Health Psychology, found that individuals in stable relationships tend to gain more weight over time, beyond what can be attributed to natural aging. Similarly, research in Social Science & Medicine indicates that people in long-term relationships are more likely to gain weight and less likely to engage in physical activity. Interestingly, the study also points out that when relationships end, individuals tend to lose weight and increase their exercise levels.

These studies suggest that individuals in secure relationships may become less focused on their physical appearance, as they feel less pressure to maintain healthy habits like eating well and exercising regularly. This behavior, while understandable, can lead to a decline in physical health.

On the other hand, maintaining a healthy lifestyle — which includes regular exercise — can have profound benefits, both physically and mentally. Research published in the Journal of Comparative Physiology shows that increased blood flow during exercise improves brain plasticity, which enhances cognitive functions. Additionally, a study in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Science found that exercise can increase the size of the hippocampus, which helps mitigate age-related memory loss, even in individuals in their 60s and 70s.

Moreover, a study from the University of Vermont discovered that moderate aerobic exercise can improve mood for up to 12 hours. Similarly, research published in the International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health found that regular exercise is associated with greater life satisfaction and overall happiness. People who engaged in higher levels of physical activity reported significantly higher happiness compared to those who exercised less.

While it’s clear that exercise has immense benefits, choosing a life partner solely based on their lifestyle habits may not be the best approach. As the Washington University researchers suggest, marrying a conscientious partner might sound like a path to a rigid and unexciting life. However, having a partner who is both conscientious and practical, as well as one who values a healthy lifestyle, can lead to a more successful career and a longer, healthier life.

So, what’s the best course of action? Instead of trying to change your partner’s habits, focus on how you can be more supportive. You could take the lead in managing household finances, performing more household chores, or handling maintenance and schedules. After all, the most effective way to inspire change is by leading through example.

You could also prioritize exercising together or making healthier eating habits a shared goal. Even if you and your partner don’t do the same workout, being in the same space while exercising can help both of you stay on track. My wife and I work out together often; we may not do the same activities, but being in the same room helps us both remain committed to our fitness goals. Implicit peer pressure can go a long way in maintaining good habits, and it still feels like we’re spending time together.

Ultimately, marrying the right person plays a significant role in leading a successful and fulfilling life, but equally important is being the right person. By being supportive, encouraging, and setting a good example, you can strengthen your relationship in both practical and emotional ways.

19 October, 2024: Three Little Birds

set in Saint George’s, Grenada

Mother is with her best friends, Mary and Tonya, out at the sports bar. It’s nothing special, the bar. It overlooks the ferry dock, with British-looking buildings on one side and the church sticking out right over the top of them. The view’s better than anything Mother’s going to get over at her hillside cottage on the other side of La Borie, but other than that it’s another one of those dusty little places making business by selling alcohol.

There’s a lot of smoke in the bar, causing Mother to choke. Mary and Tonya, they’ve been meeting here once a week without Mother and have gotten used to her not being around. They’re sitting on the stools sipping on their beers. They don’t care how the greys of their spring curls are showing through their weaves. They’re gossiping, chuckling loudly, waiting for Mother to join in, but Mother is looking at her phone.

She’s worried any minute that she’ll get a call from Father. It was his idea for her to take a night off, but she thinks it wasn’t a good one. She’s been the busy one at home for the past few months, changing the diapers of her mother-in-law, bathing her from head to toe, checking up on her for every small thing. Father’s a newly retired man. He’s just getting used to the hang of things. And he was starting to say that she deserved to go out and have her fun, too.

Go out with the girls. Go on those nights you used to. You’re a big girl, and I’m a big boy. I can handle my mother.

The problem is it’s only been three weeks. It’s not nearly enough. And he’s a man. Men like to say things, they like to show they’re competent when it makes them look good. But when it comes to real action and care, it’s usually the woman partner doing the scrubbing and cleaning, whether someone is there to notice it or not. It’ll change someday, maybe in the decades, but it ain’t changing anytime soon.

The music is loud. They love playing dancehall beats from Jamaica. If this were proper Grenada, they’d be putting in some calypso and jazz, but that’s not the sound for them young ones. They like something thumping and beating and loud. There are a lot of young ones playing pool and flirting about. Look at how they’re dancing. The sun hasn’t had time to set and they’re already getting low and touching female rear to male front as if they’re covered in the dark. The girls have no shame, getting the sweat from their boobs all over the men’s dreadlocks and beards. Mother cannot help but think of the words from the Good Bible and wonder what the people of that age are getting from their time at church.

Mother complains: ‘We were at that age working so hard, and now the girls are this age and they are living their life pleasing the men and having their fun and doing nothing.’

Mother means every word she says, and she wishes some of the girls busy grinding over there could have heard her. But only Mary has heard her. She’s the youngest of the three of them, barely sixty, and likes to act like she is in her forties when she’s had a bit of rum. She squints her eyes at Mother, breathing her foul drunk breath all over the place. She says, ‘What?’

‘I said these young women are not thinking. They are shame-less.’ Mother enunciates the key word. ‘Not-thinking. No-shame. Shame-less.’

Mary has a bottle of Clarkes Court in her hand. She puts it up to her ear and lifts one of her fingers from the bottle to point it towards herself.

‘It’s too loud. You have to speak louder.’ She also enunciates. ‘Loud-er.’

‘I said…’ Mother starts but gives up. Mother doesn’t want to make the effort. She’s sounding hoarse, and her voice is cracking. She’s an old woman about to turn seventy. Who keeps the music up this loud? There’s the feeling that the floor is actually pounding, that’s how high up the volume is. The people half her age will be hearing worse than her by the time they hit forty.

Meanwhile, Tonya’s standing there, not making an effort to listen. Their eyes meet, and she smiles. Mother thinks it’s a testament to her force of will that she still comes to places like this. She’s nearing eighty, and yet she’s put on one of those leg-hugging black dresses, she’s locking eyes with the men here or there. She’s single, a widow, but she’s not given up. Tonya’s high religious and loves to go to church, and she also loves to spend her time with younger men because she’s alone.

Mary has gone up to the bar to order something, so Tonya turns her attention to Mother. She gives her a wide smile and holds her hand.

‘So long since I’ve had this chance,’ she says warmly, really gripping it. ‘What’s keeping you busy?’

‘Too much,’ Mother says. She really wants to smile as vibrantly and genuinely as Tonya is doing, but it’s not coming out. Any attempt at a smile would be as obvious as that—an attempt. That saddens Mother. She really likes the way Tonya smiles so genuinely despite all she’s been through. Mother just doesn’t know how to do it in the same way.

Mother asks, ‘How long has it been now? Eight, nine months?’

‘Longer than that. You have been busy.’

‘That’s because of the health of my husband’s mother. I told you all about it, I thought.’

‘You did,’ Tanya says. Her voice grows vacant. ‘And how is the mister at home?’

Mother gulps. She feels like there’s something else in the air that needs to be addressed, but she goes along with the conversation.

‘He’s a retired man now. He did it for his mother. That’s why I’m here and he’s at home.’

‘That’s the sign of a nice man. Ernest never thought about me. He was always thinking about the bills and going after the rum.’

‘That’s not how I’m remembering Ernest. He was quiet, but he was good.’

‘Not as good as yours.’ Tanya takes a swig of her rum, and she repeats, ‘Not as good as yours.’

Mother wants to tell her to stop drinking. Tonya’s got good control. She loves to do yoga, she keeps up with her reading. She’s in the best of her health. But the problem is that Tanya’s gaze has gotten real deep in the eyes. Mother doesn’t like this sad look. It’s been some time since they’ve talked. She doesn’t know how to snap her out of it.

The music suddenly turns up. Mary is dancing as she comes back to the two of them. She’s mouthing the words of the song. Mother has no idea what it is or what Mary’s trying to say. Tonya recognises some cue and goes to grab her hands. They begin dancing and are soon surrounded by the men. Mother can’t find them in the crowd.

She sits there, looking at all the empty alcohol bottles on the table.

Mother messages her husband. She sends three in a row but doesn’t get a response. He’s probably busy looking after his mother. But how can she know? She ought to check up on him. The girls are having their fun; a lot of the thirty somethings are giving them attention. Will they even miss her?

The sun’s now set. It’s dark, but the shades of pink and grey of the buildings come out through the shadows over the top of the hill. It’s like a rainbow, only drab and crusty and about to crack. The moon will soon come out.

Mother remembers how when she and Father were younger, they’d take their smokes and drink their drinks and stare at the sunset from their veranda.

Mother tries to call but isn’t getting an answer. She’s getting desperate. She’s out of the bar and on the street. There are a lot of men drunk out of their mind and on all of the drugs. She doesn’t like looking like one of those ladies of the night waiting for a man to come ask her for a favour. She’s doing nothing, really, just standing alone, but that’s all it takes.

Finally, he picks up. ‘You having a problem?’ Father says. He sounds gruff. Mother doesn’t like the tone.

‘You think I only call when there’s a problem? Tell me what the problem should be. Tell me what you think I should call to say.’

Mother thinks Father wasn’t expecting a comeback from Mother. For the last few months, it’s been very yes-sir and no-sir at home. Mother’s tried to be pleasant because of her husband’s mother’s health, which is making her think that he’s forgetting how things really are.

Father takes his sweet time before responding. He’s sounding defensive, but not angry. ‘I wasn’t expecting your call. You are with your best friends. You should be out having fun.’

‘I’m calling because I’m missing my husband. I’m missing my home. I’m missing my family. You think there’s something wrong with that?’

Mother’s nearly shouting. Whatever men were giving her those lusty stares are back to staring towards the docks, keeping to themselves in their drugged-out trance. Father’s tone changes to being fully passive.

‘Well…well…there’s nothing wrong with that. I’m glad you miss me. I thought you’d be wanting to have fun with your friends. I’m glad you miss us.’

Mother notices that the coast is clear. She feels a bit more relaxed.

‘How’s she doing?’ she asks, and she means it.

‘She’s good. We’re talking. Or, we’re trying talking. It’s not easy since she doesn’t know what it means to be talking. I keep asking her to say my name over and over. She’s not remembering.’

Mother feels the blood stop pumping in her veins. She’s imagining the scene, her husband trying to give her mother some water while he attempts to make her remember who he is. It isn’t easy. He’s been doing it every day for the entire year while never forgetting the woman’s dignity.

‘You spend so much time with her,’ Mother says. ‘You’re doing your best.’

‘I’m always doing my best,’ Father says. ‘But your best is better than my best.’

‘That’s not the truth at all. You know that.’

‘She’s better at remembering your name than she is at mine.’

‘That’s because I’ve been the only one at home for the last few months.’

And that’s really the crux of it. Since January the one who has been spending ninety percent of her time with that woman has been Mother. There was no other way. Father was a busy hospital man, and he was dependent on the hard work of his wife. But there’s a drawback to everything. Now, Father isn’t the most important person in his mother’s life. Mother suddenly wonders if that is why he has told her to go out tonight, so she can make space for him to enter.

‘You should get back to your mother. I’ll go back to enjoying,’ she says.

And she hangs up. He’s calling back because he’s confused, but Sse doesn’t want to hear a single word from Father. Perhaps this night out isn’t about her as much as she thought it was.

The moment she gets back to the table, her friends stand up and accost her. It looks like they were missing her, too.

‘Where did you go?’ Tonya shouts.

Mary adds, ‘You can’t be going around like this. We don’t know what the men outside will do. What if they took you aside and cut out your lung?’

She makes a little stabbing motion with a plastic knife.

Mother can smell the alcohol on both of their breaths. They’re looking scared and grasping at each other, still swaying a bit to the music. She almost wants to laugh. She hopes that neither of them fall.

The music’s loud, and it’s been a while since Mother has danced. She grabs the both of them, friends she’s known for over thirty years, and hugs them into her, happy that they were even thinking about her. Yeah, it’s been seven or eight months, but those months are nothing compared to all the things they’ve been through over the decades.

Mother grabs Mary’s hand with her left and Tonya’s hand with her right.

‘Are they putting on “Three Little Birds”?’ she asks.

Mother can recognise that Bob Marley song even though it is badly remixed.

‘It is!’ Tonya shouts.

‘It is!’ Mary repeats, shouting even louder, spreading her alcohol-stained breath everywhere. Mother laughs at how silly they look, and Mary and Tonya laugh back. They go to join the others who are lost to the music. The three of them hold each other’s hands and do their best to recite the words to the Bob Marley song. As Mary and Tonya dance, Mother does her best to hold them with her hands.

Kevin O’Leary’s Unconventional Advice on Managing Finances in Marriage Sparks Debate

Traditional wisdom suggests that once you’re married, merging your finances is the logical next step in building a life together. This idea has been promoted for years, with the belief that sharing bank accounts strengthens trust and simplifies financial management. However, Kevin O’Leary, a star of Shark Tank, offers a different perspective, arguing that financial independence is a crucial element in a successful relationship.

O’Leary’s advice stands in stark contrast to the age-old idea of joint financial accounts. He firmly believes that no matter how in love you are, keeping your finances separate is essential. According to him, love and trust should not overshadow the importance of maintaining individual financial independence, which he sees as the foundation of a strong relationship.

“What I tell everybody to do in a relationship is: Have your own account, your own credit card — never merge your finances together,” O’Leary said during an interview with Fox News, a clip of which he later shared on Instagram. He emphasized, “I don’t care how in love you are, you keep your account to yourself.”

While this approach might resonate with some, not everyone agrees with O’Leary’s advice. A recent study published in the Journal of Consumer Research found that couples who merge their finances may actually experience a stronger relationship over time. The study suggests that sharing financial responsibilities can foster trust and improve relationship satisfaction in the long run.

So, the real question becomes: Is it better to maintain financial independence or to merge finances as a show of trust and unity? Finding the right balance between the two approaches is key, especially since it involves both emotional and financial stakes.

Finding the Right Approach

Deciding whether or not to merge finances after marriage is not an easy decision, and what works for one couple might not work for another. Many couples decide to pool their money, believing that sharing accounts simplifies access to funds and streamlines managing household expenses. Splitting bills, rent, or grocery costs can become more convenient with joint accounts. However, this convenience comes with its own set of challenges.

O’Leary’s perspective sheds light on the importance of maintaining credit independence within a marriage. Building and maintaining a strong credit history is crucial for long-term financial success. In situations where one partner manages most of the financial responsibilities, the other may struggle to establish their own credit profile. Joint accounts also come with shared liabilities, meaning both partners’ credit scores can be affected if one racks up debt or misses payments.

“If your marriage ends, you may suddenly find yourself among the 26 million adults in the U.S. who are classified as ‘credit invisible,’” O’Leary warns. Credit invisibility refers to individuals who lack enough credit history for lenders to assess their financial reliability. Without a separate financial identity, securing basic financial tools like mortgages or credit cards can become a significant challenge after a separation.

Maintaining individual financial profiles can help ensure that even if a relationship ends, each partner’s creditworthiness remains intact. Lenders rely on credit scores to determine eligibility for loans, mortgages, and credit cards. Without a solid financial history, it becomes more difficult to access these essential financial resources.

O’Leary also emphasized this point, stating, “After you get divorced, if you have been merged in with your significant other, you’re a nobody in our system.”

The Risks of Financial Infidelity

While credit and financial independence are important, they aren’t the only factors to consider in managing finances within a relationship. Having separate bank accounts can, in some cases, encourage secrecy and dishonesty between partners, a phenomenon known as financial infidelity.

According to recent data from Experian, about 27% of young adults (aged 18 to 35) admit to lying to their partners about their financial situation. This dishonesty can take various forms, such as hiding purchases, underreporting debts, or maintaining secret bank accounts. Even more striking, nearly one in five young adults said they don’t trust their partner enough to open a joint account.

The study from the Journal of Consumer Research highlights a different perspective. Couples who merge their finances may foster greater trust in their relationship. Sharing accounts means both partners can see how the other handles money, which can increase transparency and reduce the likelihood of financial secrets. It also encourages a shared sense of responsibility toward financial goals.

For couples who decide to merge their finances, this shared responsibility can serve as a foundation for building a secure financial future together. As O’Leary suggests, there’s more than love on the line when it comes to managing money. Your financial future and independence are equally at stake. However, shared finances may provide a unique opportunity to build trust, reinforce partnership, and avoid the pitfalls of financial infidelity.

Weighing the Pros and Cons

The decision to merge finances or keep them separate depends on a variety of factors, including individual preferences, financial habits, and the level of trust in a relationship. Some couples find that joint accounts simplify their lives, enabling them to manage household expenses with greater ease. In contrast, others prefer to maintain their independence, ensuring that their financial standing remains intact regardless of the relationship’s outcome.

O’Leary’s advice — to keep your money separate and maintain financial independence — comes from a place of caution. He highlights the importance of protecting yourself from the financial risks that may arise if a relationship fails. By keeping separate accounts, individuals maintain their financial identity and ensure that their creditworthiness remains secure.

On the other hand, merging finances can strengthen a relationship by building trust, transparency, and a sense of shared responsibility. As the *Journal of Consumer Research* study suggests, couples who share financial responsibilities may actually enjoy a stronger bond and greater relationship satisfaction over time.

For those who decide to merge finances, communication and transparency are key. Couples should discuss their financial habits, goals, and expectations early on to avoid misunderstandings and potential conflicts. Creating a joint financial plan that accommodates both partners’ needs and concerns can help ensure that both parties feel secure in their financial future.

Ultimately, there is no one-size-fits-all approach to managing finances in a relationship. Whether you choose to merge your accounts or keep them separate, the most important factor is finding a balance that works for you and your partner. As O’Leary emphasizes, love is important, but financial independence is crucial to maintaining a solid foundation in any relationship.

The key takeaway? Whether you’re a fan of merging finances or prefer to keep things separate, it’s essential to communicate openly with your partner and make a plan that works for both of you. Financial independence may provide security, but sharing financial responsibilities can foster trust — both of which are critical to a successful relationship.

Singapore’s Rise in Life Expectancy: A Model of Policy and Progress

Singapore, a small city-state in Southeast Asia, has experienced a dramatic rise in life expectancy over the last few decades. In 1960, a child born in the country could expect to live only to around 65 years old. However, today, a newborn in Singapore can anticipate living more than 86 years. The number of centenarians has also doubled between 2010 and 2020. This significant increase in lifespan can be attributed largely to government policies and investments aimed at improving public health and quality of life.

Singapore’s rise in longevity has earned it the distinction of becoming the world’s sixth “Blue Zone” in August 2023. Blue Zones are areas identified by National Geographic journalist Dan Buettner where people tend to live longer and healthier lives due to a mix of lifestyle, culture, diet, and community support. While some researchers have questioned the accuracy of these zones, they remain a symbol of places that offer insights into healthy living. Singapore, however, stands out among Blue Zones for a unique reason: its increase in longevity has more to do with forward-thinking policies rather than longstanding cultural traditions that define other Blue Zones, such as Ikaria in Greece or Nicoya in Costa Rica.

Singapore’s inclusion as a “Blue Zone 2.0” marks a departure from the typical Blue Zone regions. Buettner himself emphasized that Singapore’s achievements reflect proactive planning, rather than traditions that have persisted over centuries. While Singapore’s improvements in life expectancy are notable, the quality of life has also risen, making it an attractive place to live not only for its residents but also for those considering moving there for a healthier, longer life.

The Evolution of Health Policies

Residents of Singapore have witnessed a slow but steady evolution in the country’s policies that aim to enhance their health and wellness. Firdaus Syazwani, a local resident and author of the financial advice blog Dollar Bureau, shared his experience. “Having grown up here, I’ve seen firsthand the transformation in community health consciousness,” he explained. One of the more noticeable changes is the government’s imposition of heavy taxes on cigarettes and alcohol. In addition, public smoking bans have improved the overall environment, making public spaces cleaner and more welcoming. “No more second-hand smoke!” Syazwani added.

He was, however, surprised by Singapore’s designation as a Blue Zone, citing the high levels of sugar, salt, and coconut milk in traditional Singaporean dishes. Despite this, government policies are pushing for healthier eating habits. “Given our local cuisine’s penchant for richer ingredients, the Health Promotion Board has initiatives to encourage healthier dietary choices among residents,” Syazwani noted. For instance, mandatory nutritional labeling and efforts to reduce sugar content in drinks are making a difference in how people approach food choices. Although the effectiveness of these initiatives is still uncertain, he admits that such labeling influences his own choices, especially when it comes to sugary beverages.

Singapore’s healthcare system has also received global recognition for its efficiency and quality. The 2023 Legatum Prosperity Index ranked Singapore as the best in the world for healthcare. Citizens enjoy universal healthcare coverage, yet the system also incorporates private services and savings plans to help manage out-of-pocket expenses. This ensures that healthcare is both accessible and affordable, contributing to the longevity of the population.

Green Spaces and Public Well-Being

While healthcare policies play an essential role, other factors contribute to Singaporeans living longer, healthier lives. A well-developed public transportation system promotes daily exercise by encouraging walking. The government’s emphasis on keeping the country clean, green, and beautiful further enhances public health and mental well-being.

Charu Kokate, a senior partner at Safdie Architects and a long-time Singapore resident, highlighted how the country’s green spaces contribute to the quality of life. “Government initiatives that prioritize the seamless integration of parks, gardens, and nature reserves into the cityscape have earned [Singapore] the reputation of being a ‘garden city’,” she explained. She is impressed by the Urban Redevelopment Authority’s approach to city planning, noting that sustainability, efficient land use, and the incorporation of green spaces are central to their efforts. Kokate pointed out that while Singapore’s laws can be strict, they have resulted in a clean and well-maintained environment.

Among her favorite places in the city is the Singapore Botanic Gardens, a UNESCO World Heritage site known for its beautiful orchid collection and commitment to plant research and conservation. The gardens, located in the city center, offer residents and visitors alike a peaceful escape into nature. “It’s a haven for nature lovers, families, and tourists seeking peace and beauty,” Kokate added.

Public parks also serve as gathering spots for the community, which is another important factor in longevity. Longevity researchers agree that having a strong sense of community is essential to living a long, healthy life. Syazwani commented on the accessibility of public spaces: “From young adults to seniors, you’ll find a wide demographic engaged in regular exercise, facilitated by extensive public parks, fitness corners, and gym classes.” For those considering moving to Singapore, he recommended East Coast Park, which offers picnic spots and a serene environment for walking along the beach.

High Quality of Life, But High Cost

Despite its many advantages, living in Singapore comes with a cost. The country is ranked as one of the most expensive cities in the world. In Mercer’s 2023 ranking of costliest places to live, Singapore was listed second, just after Hong Kong. Although it can be expensive, many residents feel that the high quality of life justifies the expense.

Singapore is also a highly diverse country, with people from across the world calling it home. Despite its multicultural population, the government places a strong emphasis on maintaining social cohesion through strict laws and regulations. For example, littering, smoking in public places, drug use, and even jaywalking are met with severe penalties. Although the rules are stringent, many residents appreciate the order and safety they bring to everyday life.

Kokate noted, “The government’s policies are carefully aligned with the needs of the population, focusing on improving the overall quality of life, supporting economic stability, and maintaining social harmony.” She added that Singapore’s political stability also encourages business investment and economic growth, which benefits the country as a whole.

The city-state is not just known for its strict regulations; it also celebrates its rich diversity through its world-renowned food scene and vibrant cultural festivals. Singapore’s multicultural society embraces a wide range of traditions, from Chinese New Year to Deepavali, as well as international events like the Singapore International Festival of the Arts.

As Kokate summed up, “The city has something for everyone, regardless of age. The multicultural society embraces a wide range of traditions, creating a rich and vibrant cultural experience that enhances the stay for both visitors and expats.”

How to Time Meals Around Your Workouts for Optimal Performance and Recovery

Many people struggle with the question of whether to eat before or after exercising. It’s a common dilemma: should you fuel up with food before a workout or wait until after to eat? The answer depends on several factors, including the type of exercise, the time of day, and your individual health goals. Unfortunately, research on this topic is still evolving, leaving people with more questions than clear guidelines.

Health experts agree that both pre- and post-workout nutrition play essential roles in maximizing performance and recovery, but timing and content can vary depending on personal needs.

What to Eat and When

Health professionals suggest eating before and after workouts, but for different reasons. For most individuals, a balanced meal with carbohydrates and protein, consumed two to four hours before exercise, provides enough energy to fuel the session. This also allows adequate time for digestion, minimizing the risk of nausea, acid reflux, or other digestive issues, explained Dr. Martha Gulati, a cardiologist at Cedars-Sinai in Los Angeles. She emphasizes that lifestyle changes, including proper nutrition, can significantly enhance exercise outcomes.

When there’s time before a workout, a nutritious pre-exercise meal might include high-quality protein such as chicken, salmon, or tofu, complex carbohydrates like oatmeal, sweet potatoes, or brown rice, and healthy fats from sources like avocado, nuts, or eggs, according to Dr. Cecilia Cordova Vallejos, a sports medicine physiatrist at Johns Hopkins Medicine. These food combinations provide long-lasting energy for workouts.

If you’re pressed for time and need a quick snack 30 minutes before exercise, that’s also an option. A small snack can be particularly helpful during longer, high-intensity workouts. Dr. Cordova Vallejos suggests a protein bar or energy gel, which are easy to digest, while Dr. Gulati recommends something as simple as a banana or a piece of fruit.

After a workout, replenishing your body is essential, especially for muscle repair. The International Society of Sports Nutrition recommends consuming 20 to 40 grams of protein within two hours of exercise to promote muscle recovery and growth. Foods like a can of tuna, a chicken breast, or three scrambled eggs with cheese offer protein amounts within this recommended range.

Tailoring Meal Timing to Specific Goals

Your meal schedule can also depend on your overall health and fitness goals. For instance, if you have diabetes or another condition that requires careful blood sugar management, the timing of meals around workouts becomes more specific.

Jill Kanaley, a professor of nutrition and exercise physiology at the University of Missouri, notes that people with Type 2 diabetes might benefit from eating breakfast before their morning exercise. A 2017 study of 64 adults with Type 2 diabetes in India found that those who ate breakfast before exercising had better blood sugar control compared to those who worked out on an empty stomach.

For those with Type 1 diabetes, the advice might be different. Dr. Kanaley pointed out that some research suggests fasting before moderate or high-intensity morning exercise can be safe for people with Type 1 diabetes, depending on their blood glucose levels upon waking. However, it’s important to consult a healthcare professional for personalized advice.

Generally speaking, exercising on an empty stomach isn’t always advisable. In a 2020 online survey of about 2,000 endurance athletes, many participants reported that working out without eating first hindered their training, reduced their performance, and made them feel hungrier afterward.

If building muscle and improving recovery are top priorities, Dr. Cordova Vallejos advises eating more protein and distributing it throughout the day. This approach can enhance muscle growth and reduce post-workout soreness.

People with food allergies, dietary restrictions, or specific medical conditions should seek advice from a physician, sports medicine expert, or nutritionist to develop a plan that aligns with their needs and goals.

The Bottom Line

Ultimately, there is no one-size-fits-all approach to meal timing around workouts. It’s essential to listen to your body and adapt based on what works best for you. Dr. Gulati emphasizes the importance of trial and error, suggesting that if a high-fat or protein-rich snack upsets your stomach before a workout, switching to a carb-heavy snack may be the solution. On the other hand, for low-intensity exercises like yoga or walking, you may not need to eat beforehand.

Dr. Gulati also reminds us that while there isn’t a “perfect” formula, you can develop a successful routine through patience and experimentation. She said, “Everyone has different needs, goals, diets, and schedules,” but over time, you’ll figure out what makes you feel your best during and after workouts.

While general recommendations can guide you, the most effective approach to timing your meals with exercise will depend on personal factors such as your health, type of workout, and how your body responds to different foods.

Steve Jobs’ Secret to Problem Solving: The 10-Minute Rule and How It Can Help Your Brain

When faced with a complex issue at work, you might sit at your desk, stressing over the solution. After ten minutes of intense focus, you still come up blank. What should you do? If you were Steve Jobs, the answer was simple: get up and take a walk.

“Taking a long walk was his preferred way to have a serious conversation,” writes Jobs’ biographer, Walter Isaacson. Legendary designer Jony Ives also recalls, “So much of our time together was spent quietly walking.” It’s evident from various accounts that Jobs spent much of his time walking barefoot, whether he was deep in thought or discussing business strategies.

Jobs’ habit of walking wasn’t just about enjoying the outdoors or staying physically fit. He had an intuitive understanding of something science is now beginning to prove — walking helps the brain function more efficiently. Specifically, it aids in solving complex problems that often seem impossible to crack while sitting still.

As neuroscience suggests, walking shifts the brain into a mode that allows for creativity and problem-solving, which is why modern experts recommend adopting the “10-minute rule”: If you haven’t found a solution within ten minutes of focused thinking, take a walk.

Your Brain Isn’t a Muscle

This advice comes from Mithu Storoni, a neuroscientist from the University of Cambridge and author of the book *Hyperefficient: Optimize Your Brain to Transform the Way You Work*. On a recent HBR IdeaCast podcast, Storoni shared several strategies for improving brain efficiency, one of which is the 10-minute rule.

“I have some clients, and… one managing director has adopted a rule of, if he’s sitting in front of his computer with a problem that he hasn’t managed to solve for 10 minutes, he leaves his desk, he goes for a walk,” says Storoni.

She explains that unlike muscles, the brain doesn’t respond to more effort in the same way. If you’re doing a physically repetitive task, like working on an assembly line, pushing your muscles harder can yield more results until they tire out. But when the brain is your main tool, simply trying harder often leads to diminishing returns.

For tasks that are routine and don’t require much creativity, such as going through emails, focused effort works well. You can sit down, concentrate, and power through. However, when the job requires generating new ideas or solving a tricky problem, you need a more relaxed, open mental state where your mind can explore possibilities and make connections that weren’t immediately obvious.

Sitting in frustration for long periods doesn’t produce these “aha!” moments. Instead, trying to force ideas leads to mental exhaustion, blocking the creative process. Storoni emphasizes that instead of brute-forcing your way through a mental block, it’s better to coax your brain into a state that fosters innovative thinking.

Why the 10-Minute Rule Enhances Brain Function

So, how does stepping away from a problem after 10 minutes and taking a walk help your brain reach the right state to solve it?

According to Storoni, how you move your body affects how your mind functions. Taking a walk keeps your mind alert, but not fixated on one particular idea. “It keeps you in the right alert mental state, so you don’t just drift off, you don’t just fall asleep, or feel lethargic, or [look] at your phone,” she says. At the same time, walking keeps your attention moving because your surroundings are in motion. This constant yet gentle shift in focus allows your mind to wander, encouraging it to explore different solutions to the problem you’re working on.

Walking, she explains, prevents you from becoming overly focused on any one thought. “You can’t ruminate, because your attention can’t stick to one problem for too long because you also have to pay attention to where you’re walking,” Storoni adds.

In simple terms, as you walk, you have to navigate the physical world around you, avoiding obstacles like streetlights or uneven sidewalks. This physical movement mirrors a similar mental process where your mind lightly skips between ideas without getting stuck. It’s this fluid mental state that allows new ideas to form and breakthrough solutions to emerge.

The Power of Walking: Supported by Great Thinkers

If you’re wondering whether this technique is truly effective, consider the achievements of Steve Jobs. His creative genius and problem-solving abilities are legendary, and he regularly used walking as a tool to enhance his thinking. But Jobs isn’t the only one who relied on walking to sharpen his mind. Many other influential figures, from Charles Darwin to Mark Zuckerberg, have also advocated for walking as a way to unlock creativity and innovation.

The connection between walking and cognitive function is backed by both anecdotal evidence and scientific research. According to various studies, moving your body not only improves physical health but also boosts brain activity, particularly when it comes to tackling complex problems. When you feel stuck, continuing to sit and struggle at your desk may only deepen your frustration. But by getting up and taking a walk, you shift your brain into a more conducive state for creative thinking.

Applying the 10-Minute Rule to Your Own Life

The science and real-life examples are clear: if you’re stuck on a problem and haven’t made progress after 10 minutes, it’s time to get moving. This doesn’t mean giving up or abandoning the task; rather, it’s about shifting how you approach the challenge. Walking provides a change of environment and pace, which nudges your brain into a mode better suited for idea generation.

If you’re still skeptical, give it a try next time you encounter a mental block. Set a timer for 10 minutes of focused work. When the timer goes off and you haven’t cracked the problem, stand up, go for a brief walk, and allow your mind to wander. You may find that when you return to your desk, the solution you were struggling to find comes to you naturally.

Ultimately, the 10-minute rule isn’t just a technique for clearing mental roadblocks — it’s a philosophy that acknowledges the importance of working smarter, not harder. Whether you’re in the midst of a high-stakes project or trying to think creatively about a new initiative, taking a break after 10 minutes of frustration might be the key to unlocking your next big idea.

Life Lessons from the End: Regrets People Share in Their Final Moments

Shoshana Ungerleider, an internal medicine doctor, believes that to live a truly meaningful and fulfilling life, one must come to terms with the fact that life inevitably ends. Over her years caring for patients in the hospital, she has observed several common regrets people express near the end of their lives, as she shared with CNBC Make It.

“Being close to the end of your life really allows you — pushes you — to be present because that’s all you have,” Ungerleider, 44, remarked. She is the host of the forthcoming “Before We Go” podcast and the founder of the nonprofit End Well Foundation. “That is true for all of us. Throughout our lives, this present moment is all we have.”

As a physician who specializes in end-of-life care, Ungerleider has noticed that many of her patients express certain recurring regrets as they near the end of their journeys. She highlights five major regrets that individuals often confront when reflecting on their lives.

The first common regret she encounters is, “I didn’t spend enough time with the people I love.” Many people look back and realize that they missed out on valuable moments with their loved ones due to other priorities.

A second regret often heard is, “I worked too much and missed out on life.” The realization that time spent at work overshadowed personal joys and experiences is a tough reality for many facing their mortality.

A third regret revolves around fear: “I let fear control my decisions and didn’t take risks.” Ungerleider explains that, for many, the fear of the unknown or of failure kept them from taking opportunities they now wish they had embraced.

Another sentiment frequently expressed is, “I wish I’d been braver in the face of uncertainty or opportunity.” People realize too late that courage in the face of challenges could have led to richer, more fulfilling experiences.

Finally, Ungerleider observes that many regret losing touch with the present moment. “I focused too much on the future and lost touch with the present” is a lamentation she often hears, as people reflect on how they spent too much time worrying about what was to come rather than appreciating what they had in the present.

To help prevent these regrets, Ungerleider suggests a simple but profound practice: consistently reminding oneself that life is finite and uncertain. She advises individuals to regularly ask themselves key, life-defining questions: How do I want to spend my time? What matters most to me?

Ungerleider especially encourages younger people to adopt this habit of reflection. While they may not have yet faced serious health challenges or the mortality of loved ones, she believes that this practice is essential for living a long and healthy life with good quality.

“I’d recommend eating a balanced diet, exercising regularly, and avoiding things like smoking and high-risk activities. Reflecting on mortality should really be on that list,” she says. Ungerleider stresses that thinking about death is an integral part of living well: “Reflecting on our own mortality throughout life, whether you’re 20, 50, 80, whatever, allows us to live better every day with more meaning and purpose in our lives.”

Acknowledging death doesn’t have to be morbid—it can help individuals find beauty and value in life’s everyday moments. In a July episode of “The Happiness Lab” podcast, Alua Arthur, an author and founder of the end-of-life planning organization Going With Grace, echoed this sentiment. Arthur described how grounding herself in the reality of her mortality has helped her appreciate life’s small joys. “Grounding in my mortality means that at some point I won’t have access to all these senses anymore,” Arthur said. “And so, how cool is it that I can feel cold on my hands? How cool is it that I have plates for me to eat off of?”

Recognizing that death is inevitable can help people focus on what truly matters and bring more meaning into their lives. According to Ungerleider, reflecting on life’s impermanence allows us to live with greater intention and focus on what’s important, rather than getting lost in the distractions of daily life.

This idea of finding happiness and fulfillment by acknowledging life’s fragility resonates with others who have also worked closely with people nearing the end of their lives. Siddhartha Mukherjee, a Pulitzer Prize-winning author and oncologist, shared similar insights during his commencement speech at the University of Pennsylvania in May. Mukherjee emphasized that, on their deathbeds, people often express regret about not showing enough love and forgiveness to those they care about. “Waiting [to express yourself] merely delays the inevitable,” Mukherjee noted, suggesting that people should not postpone important emotional expressions or relationships.

Bronnie Ware, a former palliative care worker and author, also explored the regrets of those nearing death in her 2011 book, *The Top Five Regrets of the Dying*. One of the most frequent regrets she heard from patients was, “I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.” In her work, Ware found that many individuals felt they had conformed to societal expectations rather than pursuing their own desires and dreams.

In a blog post, Ware further explained that people often don’t realize until the end that happiness is a choice. She observed that individuals can become trapped in familiar patterns and habits, which may not necessarily bring them joy. “Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits,” she wrote. “Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.”

The consistent message shared by Ungerleider, Mukherjee, Arthur, and Ware is that, in the face of death, people’s priorities tend to become clearer. Love, relationships, personal growth, and being true to oneself take on greater significance. This shift in perspective often leads to the realization that many of the things people once worried about—such as work, fear, and the future—are far less important than they once seemed.

By confronting mortality and reflecting on what truly matters, individuals can make more conscious choices about how they live. Whether it’s spending more time with loved ones, being braver in the face of uncertainty, or simply appreciating life’s small pleasures, the ultimate lesson is clear: life is precious, and we have the power to live it fully, free from regret.

8 Daily Habits of People Who Look Younger Than Their Age

Have you ever met someone who seems to defy the passage of time, looking much younger than their actual age? While some might think it’s all about genetics, the truth is, there’s often more at play. These individuals don’t just rely on good genes; they have lifestyle habits that contribute to their youthful appearance. In this article, we’ll explore eight daily habits that people who look up to 15 years younger than their age typically follow. What’s even better is that these habits are simple and within everyone’s reach.

1) They Prioritize Sleep

One of the most fundamental factors in maintaining a youthful appearance is sleep. People who look significantly younger than their age understand that quality sleep is vital. It’s not just about getting the recommended seven to eight hours, but also about sticking to a consistent sleep schedule. During sleep, the body undergoes repair processes, including skin regeneration. When we sleep, our skin rejuvenates, healing from the day’s wear and tear, which helps maintain a fresh, youthful look.

A lack of sleep, on the other hand, increases stress levels, and stress is a well-known factor that accelerates aging. Next time you’re tempted to stay up late watching TV or scrolling through social media, remember that prioritizing rest can have a long-term positive impact on your appearance.

2) They Stay Hydrated

One thing you’ll notice about people who seem to have found the secret to eternal youth is that they always carry water with them. Staying hydrated is a key factor in looking younger. A friend of mine, Sarah, who is in her 50s but looks like she’s in her mid-30s, is a perfect example. She always has a water bottle on hand and attributes her youthful skin and energy to staying hydrated. Proper hydration helps maintain the elasticity of the skin, flushes out toxins, and ensures that all bodily functions are running smoothly.

3) They Protect Their Skin From the Sun

It’s no secret that the sun’s harmful ultraviolet (UV) rays can cause premature aging. In fact, up to 90% of visible aging signs like wrinkles and sunspots are caused by exposure to the sun, a phenomenon known as photoaging. People who look younger than their age are diligent about protecting their skin. They don’t just wear sunscreen when they’re at the beach; they make it a daily habit, even on cloudy days. UV rays can penetrate clouds and windows, so these individuals often use skincare and makeup products with SPF as an additional protective measure.

By making sun protection a priority, they manage to keep their skin looking healthy and youthful for much longer than those who don’t.

4) They Lead an Active Lifestyle

People who look younger than their years understand the importance of physical activity. Regular exercise benefits not only the body but also the skin. It improves blood circulation, bringing more oxygen and nutrients to the skin, which results in a healthy, vibrant complexion. This goes beyond just maintaining a fit physique—exercise also boosts energy levels and reduces stress, both of which contribute to a youthful glow.

Their routines typically include a variety of activities, such as cardiovascular exercises, strength training, and flexibility workouts. These habits ensure that they not only look good but feel good as well.

5) They Cherish Their Relationships

It’s often said that laughter is the best medicine, and there’s some truth to that, especially when it comes to maintaining a youthful appearance. People who look younger than their age tend to have strong, healthy relationships and a vibrant social life. Emotional well-being is closely tied to physical health, and those who make time to connect with loved ones often radiate joy and positivity, which shows on their faces.

Whether it’s staying close with old friends, spending quality time with family, or forming new connections, these individuals prioritize relationships. The love, laughter, and emotional support they receive help keep them young at heart, which is reflected in their appearance.

6) They Follow a Balanced Diet

There are plenty of fad diets out there, but people who maintain a youthful look tend to stick to a balanced, nutrient-rich diet. They prioritize eating plenty of fruits, vegetables, lean proteins, and whole grains. This variety of nutrient-dense foods helps their bodies function optimally, providing essential vitamins and minerals that keep their skin glowing and energy levels high.

While they do indulge from time to time, they practice moderation and mindful eating, ensuring they enjoy their favorite treats without overdoing it. This balanced approach helps them stay healthy and look youthful without feeling deprived.

7) They Practice Mindfulness

In today’s fast-paced world, people who manage to stay youthful often make it a priority to slow down and practice mindfulness. Mindfulness involves being present and fully engaged in the current moment, and it has a range of benefits that can help maintain a youthful appearance. By reducing stress, improving mental clarity, and promoting a sense of inner peace, mindfulness contributes to overall well-being.

Many people who look younger than their age incorporate mindfulness practices like meditation, yoga, or simply taking a few moments each day to focus on their breathing. This not only helps them stay grounded and reduce anxiety but also promotes a healthy glow that comes from within.

8) They Cultivate a Positive Mindset

Perhaps the most important habit that people who look younger than their age have is cultivating a positive mindset. These individuals tend to have an optimistic outlook on life, which not only helps them handle challenges with grace but also contributes to their youthful appearance. A positive mindset reduces stress, and stress is one of the biggest culprits behind premature aging.

People with a sunny disposition tend to radiate joy, enthusiasm, and gratitude, which enhances both their inner and outer beauty. A happy, contented heart shines through in their faces, giving them a youthful glow that no skincare product can replicate.

A Holistic Approach to Youthfulness

As we’ve seen, looking younger isn’t just about having good genes. It’s about adopting daily habits that enhance both physical and emotional well-being. The eight habits discussed in this article—prioritizing sleep, staying hydrated, protecting the skin from the sun, leading an active lifestyle, cherishing relationships, following a balanced diet, practicing mindfulness, and cultivating a positive mindset—can make a significant difference in how you age.

These habits are not only simple but also achievable. By incorporating them into your daily routine, you can maintain a youthful energy and appearance that others will notice. So, why not start today? The results might surprise you and lead to a more vibrant, youthful life for years to come.

Many Americans are Moving to Denmark, and Here’s Why

Denmark has recently become a popular destination for many Americans, and there are compelling reasons for this trend. A major factor contributing to this is Denmark’s ranking as the top country for quality of life in a survey conducted by U.S. News & World Report, in collaboration with the Wharton School at the University of Pennsylvania. The ranking, released on Tuesday, placed Denmark first for quality of life and 10th overall in the list of best countries, which takes into account ten factors.

The study evaluated several criteria such as affordability, job and political stability, healthcare quality, and personal freedom. Scandinavian countries as a whole excelled in these rankings, with Sweden, Norway, and Finland joining Denmark in the top ten.

Here are the countries that made it to the top 10 for quality of life:

10. New Zealand
New Zealand ranked 10th for quality of life and 9th overall, with a GDP per capita of $54,110. The country earned high marks for agility, which refers to how a country adapts to challenges, as well as adventure and social purpose. It also claimed the second spot for best countries for a comfortable retirement, largely due to its free or subsidized public healthcare and somewhat lower cost of living compared to the United States.

9. Netherlands
With a GDP per capita of $78,215, the Netherlands took 9th place for quality of life and 13th overall. It ranked highly for being business-friendly and socially progressive. The Netherlands also placed within the top five for the best countries to start a career, for women, and for racial equality. Additionally, it came in 8th in the ranking for comfortable retirement, attributed to its quality healthcare and affordability.

8. Australia
Australia, with a GDP per capita of $69,115, ranked 8th for quality of life and 5th overall. Known for being an attractive destination for visitors, Australia also scored high for its agility and social purpose. In terms of business, Australia stood out in areas such as headquartering corporations, education, and launching careers. When it comes to retirement, Australia ranked 4th due to its universal healthcare system and relatively lower rents in major cities compared to the United States.

7. Germany
Germany secured the 7th spot in both quality of life and overall rankings. With a GDP per capita of $69,338, it topped the entrepreneurship category and was among the top 10 in categories such as power, agility, and cultural influence. Germany also ranked highly in areas such as career opportunities and corporate influence, although it fell outside the top 20 for comfortable retirement.

6. Finland
Ranked 6th for quality of life, Finland, with a GDP per capita of $65,061, is noted for its work-life balance, safety, and environmental consciousness. The country ranked 4th for being business-friendly and 6th for modernity. Finland was also the second-best country for green living and 4th for women’s rights and raising children. While it was just outside the top 10 for retirement, Finland’s strong performance in several other categories made it stand out.

5. Canada
Canada, with a GDP per capita of $61,582, ranked 5th for quality of life and 4th overall. The country consistently ranks in the top five for agility and social purpose and is also known for its entrepreneurial spirit. Canada appeared in the top 10 of nearly every “best for” list analyzed, such as those for education, transparency, raising a family, and career opportunities. In terms of retirement, it ranked 6th, thanks to its quality healthcare system and affordability.

4. Norway
With one of the highest GDP per capita on the list at $104,460, Norway ranked 4th for quality of life and 11th overall. Norway is known for its high life expectancy, strong infrastructure, and modern cities. The country placed 3rd for raising children and women’s rights and was ranked 5th for green living. However, when it came to comfortable retirement, Norway ranked lower at 16th.

3. Switzerland
Switzerland excelled in many categories, topping the overall rankings as the best country. It also ranked highly for quality of life, coming in 3rd, thanks to its strong business environment, especially for starting careers and headquartering corporations. With a GDP per capita of $92,980, Switzerland boasts excellent employment conditions, health security, and low taxes. Many retirees are drawn to Switzerland because of its high-quality healthcare system. It topped the list for comfortable retirement.

2. Sweden
Sweden, with a GDP per capita of $70,207, ranked 2nd for quality of life and 6th overall. It also ranked 2nd for social purpose and 3rd for business-friendliness, but did not rank as high in categories such as power and heritage. Nevertheless, Sweden placed 1st for women’s rights, green living, and transparency. It ranked 2nd for raising children and 3rd for starting a career, further contributing to its high quality of life score. When it comes to retirement, Sweden ranked 9th, reflecting its strong healthcare system and affordability.

1. Denmark
Denmark, which ranked 10th overall, claimed the top spot for quality of life. The country has consistently been recognized for its superior education, employment opportunities, and civic engagement, according to the OECD Better Life Index. With a GDP per capita of $76,688, Denmark ranked highly in various categories. The country took the top position for raising children and racial equality and came in 2nd for women’s rights. In terms of retirement, Denmark ranked 7th, supported by its healthcare system and quality of life factors.

According to the report, Denmark’s social purpose was a key driver of its success in the rankings. It outperformed many of its peers in categories such as education, employment, and social connections, making it an attractive destination for people seeking a better quality of life. As a result, many Americans are relocating to Denmark, drawn by its social welfare policies, high living standards, and strong healthcare system.

In addition to Denmark’s success, Scandinavian countries in general performed well in the rankings, with Sweden, Norway, and Finland also making the top 10. These countries share many of the same attributes as Denmark, including strong healthcare systems, good work-life balance, and environmental consciousness.

Many Americans are finding these countries to be appealing due to their political stability, individual freedoms, and emphasis on personal well-being. As people continue to seek out better quality of life and retirement options, countries like Denmark are expected to remain top choices for relocation.

Denmark’s position at the top of the quality of life rankings reflects its commitment to providing a high standard of living for its residents. With its strong social policies, affordable healthcare, and emphasis on education and work-life balance, it’s no surprise that Denmark is becoming an increasingly popular destination for those seeking a better life. The country’s ability to foster a thriving, inclusive society makes it a standout in the global rankings and a model for other nations to aspire to.

Habits to Let Go for Earning Your Child’s Respect

Earning your child’s respect is not something that happens just because you’re their parent. It comes from how you behave and the habits you model for them. As children grow, they observe these habits and decide how much respect they have for you based on what they see. To foster their respect as they get older, there are several habits you should be mindful of, and even let go of. In this article, we explore seven common parenting habits that may hinder gaining your child’s respect.

1) Being Overly Authoritative

Discipline is important, but there’s a fine line between maintaining control and becoming overly authoritative. Parents sometimes believe that being overly strict is the best way to keep order, but it can backfire, causing children to lose respect for them over time. When children feel they aren’t being heard or that their opinions don’t matter, they begin to see their parents as dictators instead of mentors.

Of course, it’s essential to set boundaries, but it’s just as important to give your child some degree of autonomy. Allow them to make decisions, even if they make mistakes along the way. Letting them learn from these experiences will help build respect and teach them life skills. In the end, this approach not only helps children feel valued but also deepens their respect for you as they grow.

2) Not Practicing What You Preach

Children pay more attention to what you do than what you say. A personal example of this occurred when my daughter, who loved to draw, once drew on the wall. I scolded her, but later that same week, she saw me marking measurements on the wall for a painting. Confused, she asked why I was allowed to draw on the wall, but she wasn’t. That incident made me realize that I wasn’t following the rules I set for her, which sent a mixed message.

This experience taught me that if I wanted my child to respect the house rules, I needed to respect them too. Being consistent with your actions, just as much as your words, fosters respect. After all, you can’t expect your children to respect you if you don’t follow the same guidelines you set for them.

3) Dismissing Their Interests

Children begin developing their own interests as young as three years old. Whether it’s dinosaurs, princesses, or even the solar system, these interests are important to them. When parents dismiss or belittle these interests, it can be discouraging. It signals to the child that their passions are insignificant, which can hurt their confidence.

On the other hand, showing interest in what your child enjoys is a way of validating their thoughts and feelings. It helps them feel seen, understood, and respected. So, the next time your child wants to share something they’re passionate about, whether it’s a cartoon they’ve watched a hundred times or facts about space, tune in and engage. These conversations could lead to a deeper bond and greater mutual respect between you and your child.

4) Neglecting Promises

For children, promises are like laws. When you make a promise and keep it, you demonstrate reliability and trustworthiness. However, breaking promises, even small ones, can erode their trust in you. Imagine promising your child a trip to the park, only to cancel at the last minute. This sends the message that your commitments aren’t important, and children notice.

Our actions set a precedent, and if we fail to honor our commitments, how can we expect our children to do the same? By consistently keeping your promises, no matter how small, you build a foundation of respect and trust with your child.

5) Avoiding Difficult Conversations

One of the most challenging moments as a parent came when my son asked me about death. It was a difficult topic that I initially avoided, but he kept asking. Eventually, I realized that if I didn’t explain it to him, someone else might, and not in a way that was appropriate or sensitive to his understanding.

Avoiding tough conversations can create distance between you and your child. They may feel that you’re not open to discussing serious matters, and over time, they may stop turning to you for guidance. Being honest and open, even about uncomfortable subjects, shows your child that they can trust you with any concern. This openness not only fosters respect but also strengthens the bond between you and your child.

6) Always Solving Their Problems

As parents, it’s natural to want to solve our children’s problems and protect them from challenges. However, constantly stepping in can prevent them from developing their own problem-solving skills. When parents take over too often, children may feel as though their abilities aren’t trusted, which can harm their confidence.

Instead of immediately solving every issue, guide your child through the problem-solving process. This way, they learn to think independently and find solutions on their own. At the same time, they will respect you for supporting them in their growth, rather than fixing everything for them.

7) Not Showing Them Respect

Perhaps the most important point is the simplest: If you want your child to respect you, you must respect them. This means respecting their time, their feelings, their thoughts, and their space. Respect is a two-way street, and children learn how to show respect by seeing it in action.

When you model respectful behavior toward your child, they are more likely to reciprocate. Showing respect for your child is fundamental to building a strong, respectful relationship as they grow. By treating your child with the dignity and consideration they deserve, you teach them how to respect you and others in return.

Earning your child’s respect involves more than just expecting it because you are their parent. It requires mindful habits and consistent actions that demonstrate respect, trust, and understanding. By letting go of habits like being overly authoritative, not practicing what you preach, or dismissing your child’s interests, you create an environment where mutual respect can thrive.

Pavel Durov: A Controversial Tech Tycoon and His Battle for Free Speech

Pavel Durov is a man of many identities: a programming genius, a billionaire entrepreneur, a controversial figure accused of aligning with the Kremlin, and a champion for free speech. Recently, Durov, the founder of Telegram, was detained in France, bringing renewed attention to his enigmatic persona. Often compared to tech figures like Mark Zuckerberg, Jack Dorsey, and Elon Musk, Durov is known for his unconventional lifestyle and libertarian ideals. Like Musk, he has an obsession with pronatalism, having claimed in July that he has fathered over 100 children through sperm donations over the past 15 years.

With an estimated net worth of $9.15 billion according to Bloomberg, Durov holds multiple passports and maintains residences across various countries. He has spent the last decade as a global citizen, advocating for communication free from government surveillance. His recent legal troubles have reignited debates surrounding Telegram’s end-to-end encryption, which secures user communications even from the company’s employees, versus the security concerns of several governments and the European Union’s efforts to regulate big tech.

A Tale of Two Prodigies

Born in 1984 in the Soviet Union, Durov moved to Italy with his family at the age of four. They returned to Russia after the Soviet Union collapsed, as Durov’s father accepted a position at St. Petersburg State University. In a rare interview with Tucker Carlson earlier this year, Durov shared that both he and his older brother, Nikolai, were mathematical prodigies from a young age. While Pavel excelled locally, Nikolai was a child star, appearing on Italian television to solve cubic equations and winning multiple gold medals at the International Math Olympiad.

“We were both very passionate about coding and designing stuff,” Durov recalled. Upon their return to Russia, the family brought back an IBM PC XT from Italy, which was rare in Russia during the early 1990s. This gave the brothers a unique opportunity to teach themselves programming.

Russia’s Answer to Zuckerberg

Durov’s programming skills and entrepreneurial spirit led him to create Vkontakte (VK) in 2006, a social media platform that quickly became known as the “Facebook of Russia.” Durov was often referred to as Russia’s Mark Zuckerberg. However, his relationship with the Kremlin soured faster than Zuckerberg’s with Washington.

When VK was used by protesters to organize demonstrations in Kyiv against Ukraine’s pro-Russian president, Viktor Yanukovich, in 2013, the Kremlin demanded that VK hand over private data of Ukrainian users. Durov refused. “We decided to refuse, and that didn’t go too well with the Russian government,” he told Carlson. This decision marked the end of his tenure at VK. Durov resigned as CEO and eventually sold his shares for millions, leaving Russia behind. Today, VK is under state control.

“For me, it was never about becoming rich. Everything in my life was about becoming free. To the extent that is possible, my mission in life is to allow other people to become free,” Durov stated, adding, “I don’t want to take orders from anyone.”

A Messaging App for the Masses

Unlike Zuckerberg, who acquired WhatsApp to expand his social media empire, Durov decided to create his own messaging app despite a saturated market. He believed that existing messaging apps were inadequate. “It doesn’t matter how many messaging apps are out there if all of them suck,” Durov said in a 2015 interview with TechCrunch.

His experience with the Kremlin strongly influenced his decision to create Telegram, a messaging app based in Dubai. Durov and his brother aimed to build a platform that was beyond the reach of government surveillance. Telegram’s robust end-to-end encryption and commitment to privacy attracted hundreds of millions of users, including, controversially, the terrorists who orchestrated the Paris attacks in November 2015.

The use of Telegram by terrorists led Durov to engage in a public relations campaign, including an interview with CNN, to clarify that Telegram was not becoming a tool for terrorists. He argued that Telegram was simply the most secure messaging platform available and that compromising its encryption would undermine its appeal and the company’s commitment to privacy. “You cannot make it safe against criminals and open for governments,” Durov told CNN in 2016. “It’s either secure or not secure.”

Clashes with the Kremlin and Other Governments

Telegram’s refusal to provide decryption keys put it at odds with governments worldwide, including Russia. In 2018, Moscow attempted to ban Telegram after the company refused to comply with a demand to hand over decryption keys to Russian security services. Durov vowed to defy the ban, and another showdown with the Kremlin seemed imminent. However, the ban was lifted in 2020 without further conflict.

Since then, Telegram has become one of the few foreign social media platforms operating in Russia without significant restrictions. It is now the preferred communication tool for many Russian government officials. Critics have long speculated that Telegram’s unrestricted operation in Russia might indicate some sort of concession to the Kremlin, a claim Durov has consistently denied, often citing his earlier conflict with Russian authorities as evidence of his independence. Telegram reiterated in a statement to CNN that no deals were made with the Kremlin to lift the ban.

Before his detention in Paris, Durov was in Azerbaijan simultaneously with Russian President Vladimir Putin, who was on an official visit. Kremlin spokesman Dmitry Peskov told reporters that the two did not meet. Despite Durov’s public disavowal of Russia, the government swiftly acted to assist him after his detention. Russian Foreign Ministry spokeswoman Maria Zakharova noted that the Russian Embassy in Paris “immediately got down to work” upon learning of Durov’s legal issues.

Ongoing Controversies

Western governments continue to be unsettled by Telegram’s use by money launderers, drug traffickers, and those spreading child exploitation content. Durov’s detention in France was related to a warrant concerning Telegram’s lack of content moderation, as reported by CNN-affiliate BFMTV. Telegram responded with a statement declaring, “it is absurd to claim that a platform or its owner are responsible for abuse of that platform.” The company emphasized that it complies with EU laws and that Durov has nothing to hide.

Understanding the Subtle Signs of Attraction: A Guide to Decoding Her Interest

Navigating the world of dating and relationships can often feel like venturing into an unknown territory without a clear path. You’re drawn to her, and you believe she might feel the same, but how can you be sure? This uncertainty may have kept you awake on more than one occasion. The signals aren’t always clear or obvious, often leaving you questioning if you’re overanalyzing her behavior.

Rather than expecting grand gestures or straightforward conversations, it’s often the smallest signs that reveal the most about her true feelings. Below is a guide to help you recognize those subtle cues that often indicate a woman is highly attracted to you, even if they are not as evident as one might hope.

  1. Increased Eye Contact

Attraction is frequently communicated through our eyes, an instinctual behavior that’s difficult to conceal. When a woman is significantly attracted to you, you may catch her making more eye contact than what is considered typical. This is not in a way that feels invasive but rather one that shows genuine interest. It’s as if she’s trying to capture every detail about you, observing your expressions and mannerisms closely. You might even notice her pupils dilating when she looks at you, a physiological response commonly linked to attraction.

It’s important to note that this doesn’t necessarily mean she’ll maintain constant eye contact. Some people are naturally shy or uncomfortable with prolonged eye contact. However, if you notice that her eyes often find their way back to you, it’s a good sign she’s attracted. The way she looks at you matters as well—if her gaze lingers, if she smiles with her eyes, or seems genuinely engaged when you’re talking, these are all subtle indicators of her attraction.

Of course, this is just one sign and should not be taken as definitive proof of her feelings. But it certainly suggests a promising beginning.

  1. Laughter at Your Jokes

Laughter is a universal sign of enjoyment and comfort. When a woman finds you funny, it indicates that she feels at ease around you and appreciates your company. A personal experience of this is when I was out with friends, and a woman in the group laughed at even my most lackluster jokes. I’m aware that I’m not a stand-up comedian, but she found everything I said amusing. It wasn’t just polite laughter; it was genuine, hearty laughter that caused her eyes to crinkle at the corners. At first, I assumed she was simply a cheerful person, but when I noticed she didn’t laugh as much or as heartily with others, I realized she might be attracted to me.

Laughter is a potent sign of attraction because it shows that she appreciates your sense of humor and enjoys being around you. So if you observe her laughing more with you than others, consider it a positive indication of her feelings.

  1. Initiating Physical Contact

Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “We touch things to know if they are real,” and this applies to attraction as well. When a woman is attracted to you, she may find subtle ways to initiate physical contact. This could be a light touch on your arm while laughing at your joke, brushing off lint from your shirt, or even a playful punch when you say something teasing.

These touches, though brief, are not accidental. They represent her way of establishing a connection with you and gauging your reaction. These touches often carry a certain energy that’s difficult to define but easy to feel.

Naturally, some individuals are more touchy-feely than others by nature. However, if she doesn’t touch others the way she touches you, it’s a strong indication of her attraction. Remember, consent is essential. If her touches make you uncomfortable, it’s important to communicate that clearly and respectfully.

  1. Mirroring Your Actions

Mirroring is a psychological phenomenon where people subconsciously mimic the gestures, speech patterns, or attitudes of those they interact with. If you notice her copying your body language, it’s a sign that she’s attuned to you and trying to establish rapport. For instance, if you lean in while talking, she might do the same. If you touch your face during the conversation, she might mirror that action.

This behavior is typically subconscious and happens when we’re trying to connect with someone. So the next time you’re with her, pay close attention to her body language. If she’s mirroring your actions, it’s a promising sign that she’s attracted to you.

  1. Initiating Conversations

Imagine you’re at a social gathering and notice that she’s often the one starting conversations with you. Or perhaps she’s sending more texts than you are. This behavior clearly indicates that she’s interested in getting to know you better.

When a woman is highly attracted to you, she will want to keep communication open and will not wait for you to initiate every conversation. She may ask about your day, your interests, and your thoughts on various topics, all of which are signs that she genuinely wants to understand you better.

It’s about more than just small talk. Her desire to create deeper connections and understandings signifies her attraction. If she’s making an effort to engage in conversation regularly, it’s a strong indication that she’s drawn to you.

  1. Compliments

Receiving compliments from someone we’re attracted to is always a wonderful feeling. When a woman is highly attracted to you, she will often express her feelings through compliments. These could range from comments on your appearance to your intellect, sense of humor, or even your taste in music. Essentially, she appreciates you and isn’t afraid to show it.

While friends also compliment each other, there’s usually a different tone when it comes from someone who’s attracted to you—it feels more personal, more intimate. So pay attention to her words. If her compliments feel genuine and personal, it’s likely she’s attracted to you.

  1. Genuine Interest in Your Life

When a woman is attracted to you, she becomes genuinely interested in your world. She wants to know the details of your day, your likes and dislikes, and your dreams and fears. She will ask about your family, hobbies, work, and even the most mundane aspects of your life. And when you speak, she listens—really listens.

Attraction goes beyond just physical appearance; it’s about connection, compatibility, and mutual interest. If she’s showing genuine interest in your life, it means she wants to understand you deeply, not just on a surface level.

  1. Making Time for You

Perhaps the most telling sign of all is when a woman makes time for you. No matter how busy her schedule is, if she’s attracted to you, she’ll find a way to fit you in. This is because, despite our busy lives filled with commitments and responsibilities, when we’re truly attracted to someone, we prioritize them.

If she’s always there, willing to make time for you, it’s a very good sign that she values the connection you share.

Final Thoughts

Decoding attraction is an intriguing journey. While these signs offer guidance, it’s essential to remember that each woman is unique and may express her interest differently. Mutual respect and understanding are key in any interaction. Authentic attraction is about more than just surface-level signs; it’s about shared values and genuine connection.

Don’t rush to conclusions based on a few signs. Take your time to understand her, respect her individuality, and allow the relationship to develop naturally. As Maya Angelou wisely said, “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” If she’s truly attracted to you, she’ll make you feel valued and respected. Ultimately, that’s what really matters.

Embrace These 8 Daily Habits to Look and Feel Youthful Beyond Your 60s

Aging is often associated with a decline in vitality, yet many people in their 60s and older demonstrate that youthfulness transcends mere numbers. This observation has led me, Lachlan Brown, founder of Hack Spirit and a dedicated mindfulness advocate, to explore the habits of individuals who seem to defy the typical aging process. From my experiences, I’ve learned that maintaining a youthful demeanor is less about genetics or luck and more about daily practices.

In this article, I will highlight eight daily habits that contribute to a youthful appearance and energy levels in people who are well into their later years. These habits aren’t the result of chance but of deliberate choices. Read on to discover how adopting these practices can help you also look and feel younger.

Firstly, regular movement is crucial. In health circles, there’s a popular saying that “sitting is the new smoking.” This phrase isn’t just a buzzword; it’s supported by scientific research. Individuals who maintain their youthfulness into their 60s and beyond tend to be anything but sedentary. They embrace a range of physical activities, from walking and yoga to dancing, swimming, and cycling. They recognize that keeping the body in motion is essential, not just for staying fit but for maintaining overall well-being. Regular movement helps manage weight, maintain flexible joints, strengthen muscles and bones, and enhance mood and energy levels. Additionally, it benefits cognitive function. As Carl Jung famously said, “The creation of something new is not accomplished by the intellect but by the play instinct acting from inner necessity. The creative mind plays with the objects it loves.” Therefore, find a physical activity that you enjoy and make it a regular part of your life to sustain a youthful demeanor.

Mindfulness is another powerful habit that contributes to feeling and looking young. As someone deeply invested in mindfulness, I can attest to its profound effects. Daily mindfulness practices, such as meditation, can help clear the mind, reduce stress, and foster a sense of calm and well-being. I recall my initial skepticism about meditation, but as I consistently practiced focusing on my breath and letting thoughts drift without judgment, I noticed a shift. My mind became clearer, and I felt more present. People who age gracefully often incorporate mindfulness into their routines. Whether through meditation, journaling, yoga, or simply taking moments to breathe deeply, mindfulness helps maintain mental health and a positive outlook, both of which contribute to a youthful spirit. Remember, “You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.” Consider making mindfulness one of your new goals.

Diet is another critical factor in aging well. What you eat affects how you feel and look. Those who age gracefully understand the impact of a nutrient-dense diet. They recognize that processed foods, sugars, and unhealthy fats can accelerate aging, whereas fruits, vegetables, lean proteins, and whole grains can slow it down. My book, “Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego,” explores the concept of mindful eating, which emphasizes being fully aware of and intentional about your food choices. Mindful eating not only enhances physical health but also fosters gratitude for the food we consume, contributing to a positive and youthful outlook. As the saying goes, food is fuel; better fuel leads to better performance.

Maintaining strong social connections is also vital. Psychological research highlights that social bonds contribute to a sense of belonging and purpose, potentially extending lifespan. Those who age gracefully often nurture relationships with family, friends, and their community. They understand that social isolation can lead to loneliness and depression, which may hasten the aging process. Conversely, staying socially active promotes mental health, sharpens cognitive functions, and supports a positive view of life. Participating in community activities or volunteering are effective ways to foster social connections, providing both interaction and a sense of purpose.

Embracing change is another key to youthful aging. While many people fear the passage of time, those who age gracefully see it as an opportunity for growth and exploration. They view each year as a new chapter, filled with potential rather than something to resist. By adapting to change, whether it’s physical, social, or personal, they maintain a positive outlook and reduce stress, which contributes to their youthful spirit.

Prioritizing rest and recovery is crucial in maintaining a youthful appearance and energy levels. In a society that often values constant productivity, understanding the importance of rest can make a significant difference. Individuals who remain youthful recognize that good-quality sleep is essential for the body’s repair processes. They also value regular breaks throughout the day to recharge, whether by stepping away from their work or engaging in relaxing activities like deep breathing or short naps.

Regular self-reflection is another transformative habit. Taking time to reflect on life, decisions, and experiences fosters clarity, personal growth, and wisdom. Journaling is a practical method for self-reflection, allowing individuals to process thoughts, emotions, and track personal development. For example, after a challenging interaction with a friend, journaling about it helped me understand my role in the conflict better and facilitated emotional growth. This practice supports a positive outlook and a youthful mindset.

Lastly, maintaining a positive outlook is crucial. Positivity isn’t just a feel-good trait; it’s integral to aging well. People who look and feel young into their later years often have a consistent positive perspective on life. They choose to see the silver lining in every situation and understand that while they can’t control all external events, they can control their responses. Research shows that a positive attitude can lower the risk of chronic diseases, enhance resilience, and even extend lifespan. When facing challenges, focusing on the positives can significantly benefit your overall well-being.

Aging is a natural process, but how we age islargely within our control. By adopting these eight habits—embracing movement, mindfulness, a nutritious diet, strong social connections, change, rest, self-reflection, and positivity—you canmaintain a youthful appearance and spirit. Embrace these practices to make the most of the journey through your golden years.

Exploring Cold Showers: Benefits, Risks, and Expert Insights on Cold Water Immersion

Cold water immersion, popularized through various media, is celebrated for its potential health benefits, including enhancements in heart health, muscle recovery, and stress reduction. This practice, part of a broader category known as cryotherapy or cold therapy, encompasses several methods—ice, water, and air—used for medical and therapeutic purposes. Examples include cryosurgery for lesions, ice packs for swelling, and ice baths for exercise recovery or stress relief.

Historically, cold water immersion dates back to ancient Greece, contributing to a rich body of research on its benefits. Today, modern proponents question whether cold showers, a more accessible version, offer similar advantages.

“The research is very, very thin as it pertains to cold showers itself,” noted Dr. Corey Simon, an associate professor at Duke University and senior fellow at the Duke Aging Center. Although there are numerous studies, including some with outdated methodologies and limited participant numbers, mostly involving healthy younger adults, the evidence remains inconclusive.

Nevertheless, experts have formulated theories on why cold showers might be beneficial based on existing scientific and anecdotal evidence. Dr. Simon believes that the primary benefits of cold showers stem from the psychological adaptation to stress.

“Folks don’t just go from zero to 60 in cold showers,” Simon explained. “They have to work up to them usually, so there is the element of your body being able to control being in a stressful environment.”

This perspective aligns with findings from an October 2022 study published in Current Psychology. Participants who took showers with temperatures between 50 and 57.2 degrees Fahrenheit (10 to 14 degrees Celsius) for up to a minute daily over two weeks reported reduced stress levels compared to a control group. These benefits were more pronounced when combined with a breathing technique involving deep breaths, exhalation, and breath holding.

Dr. Simon himself takes cold showers once or twice a week, claiming that this practice enhances his mental presence by forcing him to confront and process the discomfort.

Dr. Rachelle Reed, an exercise physiologist in Athens, Georgia, has noted improvements in mood and energy following cold showers. “You sort of feel a little bit elated, and that is thought to be due at least in part to that increase in neurotransmitters epinephrine, norepinephrine, and dopamine,” she observed.

The psychological benefits may also contribute to perceived pain relief, given that psychological distress is a significant pain predictor. Cold immersion can induce a temporary cardiovascular stress response—raising blood pressure, heart rate, and breathing rate. This hyperactivity can enhance blood flow as the body works to return to its normal state and warm up. Cold showers might induce similar effects to some degree.

However, individuals with cardiovascular issues, circulatory problems, conditions like Raynaud’s disease or neuropathy, or diabetes should consult a doctor before trying cold showers. Pregnant women, those who have recently undergone surgery, or those under the influence of alcohol or drugs should also avoid cold showers.

Dr. Simon emphasized the seriousness of these precautions, citing cases of death related to cold therapy.

In terms of immune system support, cold showers have shown some promise. A May 2014 study tested whether meditation, deep breathing, and cold showers could enhance immune responses in a small group of Dutch men. Participants who practiced these techniques exhibited fewer symptoms of bacterial infections and produced more anti-inflammatory chemicals in response to the infection.

Dr. Simon remains cautious about this finding, as recent research suggests that reducing inflammation might sometimes delay or impede recovery. The study’s results do not isolate the effectiveness of each technique—meditation, deep breathing, or cold showers.

Conversely, a September 2016 Dutch study found that participants who took cold showers for 30 to 90 seconds experienced a 29% reduction in sick days. There are also anecdotal reports suggesting that cold showers may reduce the frequency of illness.

Regarding fitness, cold showers can help alleviate muscle soreness but are not recommended immediately after resistance training. “The latest evidence suggests that you would not want to disrupt the inflammation process that comes after lifting,” Reed explained, noting that this inflammation helps muscles grow stronger and more efficient. She advised using cold therapy on rest days and acknowledged that while cold showers might temporarily boost metabolism, they are not linked to significant weight loss.

For those interested in trying cold showers, starting gradually is advised. Most studies use showers between 50 and 60 degrees Fahrenheit (10 to 15.5 degrees Celsius), but a thermometer is not essential. “I don’t use a thermometer and still experience benefits,” Simon admitted, although he recognized this as anecdotal.

Simon recommended easing into the cold water, starting from lukewarm temperatures. Begin with 15 to 30 seconds of cold exposure, then gradually increase the duration by 15 seconds every few weeks. Utilizing box breathing—inhale for four counts, hold for four counts, exhale for four counts, and hold for four counts—can help manage discomfort.

Both experts emphasize paying attention to your body’s signals and discontinuing the shower if necessary. While Simon and Reed do not guarantee that cold showers will universally enhance health, they suggest that in a stressful world, incorporating them could complement a healthy lifestyle supported by proper diet, hydration, physical activity, and sleep.

From Oatmeal to Wellness Retreats: How Menopause Is Driving a New Trend in Health and Self-Care

Gabriele Sewtz, a real estate agent from Brooklyn with a data-driven mindset and a simple breakfast preference for oatmeal, never considered herself someone drawn to wellness retreats. Her perception changed dramatically when she entered menopause and found herself exploring a ranch near Austin, Texas, where she tried sound baths, cold plunges, and breathwork—and ended up loving the experience.

Sewtz is part of a growing trend of women seeking resorts and hotels that offer specialized programs for menopause. Reflecting on her transformative retreat experience, she admitted, “If you had told me upfront how life-changing that (retreat) would be, I’m like, ‘Yeah, right. Not going to happen in a million years. Others might experience it, but definitely not me.’”

Menopause brings about significant physical, emotional, and psychological changes, which vary from one woman to another. As the wellness industry evolves, it has started to address the needs of women undergoing perimenopause and menopause. An increasing number of supplements, skincare brands, and nutrition programs target this demographic, with some women finding comfort in spas or hotels rather than traditional medical settings. “It always starts, I think, as a personal journey,” Sewtz noted.

Dr. Barbra Hanna, an ob-gyn based in Chicago and founder of MyMenopauseRX, a telehealth service specializing in menopause care, described the current focus on menopause as “having a moment.” She emphasized the importance of self-care, particularly since many women dealing with menopause symptoms also face additional life stressors, such as raising children, managing careers, or caring for elderly family members. While she views spas as excellent places for relaxation, she believes they may not be the best environment for medical care.

Dr. Naresh Perembuduri, an Ayurvedic doctor at the prestigious Ananda resort in the Himalayas—endorsed by celebrities like Uma Thurman and Oprah—expressed the view that menopause treatment should encompass more than just addressing the symptoms. “It is not simply the menopause we want to address. Before the menopause, they need to prepare themselves for a proper hormonal balance,” Perembuduri explained. Therefore, Ananda offers a “hormonal rebalance” program rather than a specific menopause-focused one.

Ananda’s 14-day program includes customized meal plans, exercise routines, and hormone testing, starting at $1,000 per night. However, the high cost and ongoing social stigma around menopause might deter some women from participating. With 51% of the world’s population being female, the symptoms of menopause—such as joint pain, hot flashes, mood swings, weight changes, and discomfort during sex—differ widely, complicating treatment approaches.

For those already inclined toward wellness travel, menopause symptoms can be an added incentive to visit a spa or retreat. Actress Josie Bissett, who had previously attended other wellness programs, chose Costa Rica’s The Retreat for a program specifically addressing menopausal changes. She told CNN that her experience with the seven-day “The Big M” program was so fulfilling that she extended her stay. “It was one of the most beautiful places and experiences I’ve ever had,” Bissett said. “There’s no manicures or pedicures. It’s not that place. This is a place to heal, to be nurtured.”

Sewtz’s retreat, organized by fitness influencer Hannah Eden, was designed for group participation. In contrast, Bissett preferred solitude. “I really needed time to myself,” she explained. “I wanted to take away from myself that feeling of, like, I should talk to people, I should be social, I should… No shoulds. You take care of you. You don’t have to do anything that you don’t want to do. You’re here for you. You don’t have to be friends with anybody.”

Despite the appeal of alternative therapies, some medical professionals advise caution. Dr. Hanna warns that treatments claiming to offer medical miracles beyond simple stress relief should be approached with skepticism. “If they want to offer you a lot of blood-testing, saliva-testing, fingerprints, all of these things, that is not evidence-based, that is not how we treat menopause. That’s red flag number one,” she said.

Hanna also cautions that while menopause-focused wellness businesses are capitalizing on this growing market, “A massage is a massage, a facial is a facial. There’s no extra lotions and potions that are going to be transformative for you because of perimenopause or menopause, at least not today.” However, she remains hopeful about future advancements, noting, “I don’t think menopause is going out of fashion. I think menopause is just getting started,” especially with increased funding for menopause research in the coming years.

Exceeding Physical Activity Guidelines Significantly Reduces Mortality Risk, Study Finds

Exercise is well-known to benefit health and well-being, but how much moderate or vigorous physical activity is needed to reduce mortality risk? A study in the journal *Circulation* explores this question, detailing the necessary amount and intensity of exercise to lower mortality rates.

The 2018 physical activity guidelines suggest adults engage in 150 to 300 minutes of moderate exercise or 75 to 150 minutes of vigorous exercise weekly, or a combination of both. Moderate activities include walking, weightlifting, and lower-intensity exercises, while vigorous activities encompass running, bicycling, and swimming. Exceeding these recommendations can further decrease mortality risk.

In two large U.S. cohorts, 116,221 adults self-reported their leisure-time physical activity (non-work exercise) through a validated questionnaire, repeated up to 15 times over 30 years. The study revealed that engaging in two to four times the minimum vigorous physical activity recommendations significantly lowered the risk of death from cardiovascular disease. Specifically, those who exercised two to four times above the moderate recommendations (300 to 599 minutes weekly) reaped the most benefits.

Participants exceeding the recommended moderate physical activity had a 26% to 31% lower all-cause mortality and a 28% to 38% lower risk of cardiovascular disease mortality. Additionally, they experienced a 25% to 27% lower risk of non-cardiovascular disease mortality. Adults who performed two to four times the recommended vigorous physical activity (150 to 299 minutes weekly) had a 21% to 23% lower all-cause mortality, a 27% to 33% lower cardiovascular disease mortality, and a 19% lower non-cardiovascular disease mortality.

The study highlighted that combining moderate and vigorous physical activity yields the best results. “A substantially lower risk of mortality was observed among individuals who had adequate levels of both long-term leisure time moderate and vigorous physical activity,” the study states, adding that higher levels of vigorous activity were linked to lower mortality among those with insufficient moderate exercise. However, this was not true for those already engaging in high levels of moderate activity (over 300 minutes weekly). The study concludes that “any combination of medium to high levels” of vigorous (75 to 300 minutes weekly) and moderate physical activity (150 to 600 minutes weekly) “can provide nearly the maximum mortality reduction,” around 35% to 42%.

People who are insufficiently active (less than 75 minutes of vigorous or 150 minutes of moderate exercise weekly) could achieve significant mortality reduction by incorporating modest levels of exercise. Engaging in 75 to 150 minutes of vigorous exercise or 150 to 300 minutes of moderate exercise weekly can reduce cardiovascular disease mortality by 22% to 31%.

A separate study in JAMA Oncology found that brief bouts of vigorous intermittent lifestyle physical activity, like fast walking or stair climbing for one to two minutes, were linked to a lower cancer risk.

Age doesn’t alter the impact of exercise. While younger people often choose vigorous activities, older adults tend to prefer moderate exercise. The study found no evidence that one type of exercise was superior for older adults. Instead, “long-term vigorous physical activity in generally healthy older adults can be an effective means of improving health.”

Despite concerns that long-term high-intensity endurance exercise could cause adverse events such as myocardial fibrosis, coronary artery calcification, atrial fibrillation, and sudden cardiac death, this study found no harmful effects of long-term vigorous activity on cardiovascular health. However, further research is necessary to confirm these findings.

To sum up, the study in Circulation underscores the significant health benefits of exceeding current physical activity recommendations, particularly through a mix of moderate and vigorous exercises. This approach maximizes the reduction in mortality risk from all causes, cardiovascular disease, and non-cardiovascular diseases.

Denmark Tops List of Happiest Countries for Expats’ Work Lives, Survey Reveals

Expats in Denmark are reportedly among the happiest in their work lives, as revealed by the latest Expat Insider survey from InterNations, an online global community for expatriates. Denmark leads the list for job satisfaction, career opportunities, and work-life balance.

The survey collected responses from over 12,500 expatriates, reflecting their sentiments on four major categories related to work, including career prospects, salary and job security, work culture and satisfaction, and work and leisure. Denmark topped the rankings for work culture and satisfaction, as well as work and leisure.

A notable 84% of expats in Denmark expressed satisfaction with their work-life balance, compared to the global average of 60%. Similarly, a high percentage of expats are content with their work hours, averaging 39.2 hours per week versus the global average of 42.5 hours.

The top 10 countries where expats are happiest with their work lives abroad are as follows:

  1. Denmark
  2. Saudi Arabia
  3. Belgium
  4. Netherlands
  5. Luxembourg
  6. United Arab Emirates
  7. Australia
  8. Mexico
  9. Indonesia
  10. Austria

Ilana Buhl, a contributor to CNBC Make It and an American teacher who relocated to Denmark, highlights several positive changes she experienced after moving from Texas to Copenhagen. These changes include shorter workweeks, stronger boundaries around off-hours, five weeks of paid vacation, and a higher salary that aligns well with the lower cost of living. Beyond work, Buhl appreciates Denmark’s robust public transit, public healthcare, affordable daycare, and generous maternity leave funded by both her employer and the government. “Many of these factors contribute to the fact that Denmark consistently ranks as one of the happiest countries in the world,” Buhl notes, referencing the annual World Happiness Report.

Saudi Arabia ranks second, with 75% of expats reporting improved career prospects after moving there, compared to the global average of 56%. A majority of newcomers, 63%, relocate to Saudi Arabia for work, where they find satisfaction with the local economy. In contrast, only 35% of expats globally cite job-related reasons for their move. However, the long working hours in Saudi Arabia, averaging 47.8 hours per week, may be a downside.

Belgium completes the top three, with expats highly satisfied with job security, the local job market, and career opportunities. In Belgium, 68% of expats report enjoying workplace flexibility, including the ability to work remotely. The average full-time workweek in Belgium is 40.8 hours, shorter than the global average.

Panama is recognized as the No. 1 best country for expats overall according to the InterNations survey. This ranking considers broader life and financial factors, with expats expressing satisfaction with the quality of life, ease of settling in, working abroad, personal finances, and an “expat essentials” index that covers housing, administration, language, and digital life.

Denmark stands out as the top destination for expats seeking a fulfilling work life, with its strong work culture, satisfactory work-life balance, and numerous benefits outside of work. Saudi Arabia and Belgium also offer significant advantages for expatriates, despite some challenges like longer working hours in Saudi Arabia. Overall, these countries provide a supportive environment for career growth and job satisfaction.

Walking Your Way to Relief: How Regular Walking Can Alleviate Chronic Lower Back Pain

Sonia Mahurkar, a 30-year-old IT professional from Gurgaon, had been dealing with chronic lower back pain for an extended period. When she consulted her doctor last December, the spine specialist identified prolonged sitting at the computer as a major contributor to her discomfort. Instead of prescribing medication, the doctor recommended that she engage in regular walking for at least half an hour daily. After about a month, Sonia noticed a substantial reduction in her pain.

Sonia’s situation is not unique. A recent study published in The Lancet revealed that regular walking considerably lowers the risk of flare-ups in individuals with a history of lower back pain. The study emphasized that a daily minimum of 30 minutes of walking can alleviate lower back pain. This groundbreaking trial aimed to assess the effectiveness of walking, an inexpensive form of exercise.

Dr. S Vidyadhara, Chairman and Head of the Department of Spine Surgery and Consultant in Robotic Spine Surgery at Manipal Hospitals, Old Airport Road, shared his expertise on the matter.

How Does Walking Help Reduce Lower Back Pain?

According to Dr. Vidyadhara, walking is a low-impact exercise that exerts minimal pressure on the joints while strengthening the core and back muscles that support the spine. He explained that this leads to enhanced stability, improved posture, and reduced strain on the lower back. “Walking also promotes blood flow, bringing essential nutrients to spinal discs and promoting healing. In addition, the rhythmic movement may help release endorphins, the body’s natural painkillers, leading to pain relief and improved mood,” Dr. Vidyadhara elaborated.

Walking The Right Way: Things To Keep In Mind

While regular brisk walking, defined as walking at a speed of around 100 steps per minute, is highly beneficial for overall health, Dr. Vidyadhara offered several tips to maximize the benefits and minimize potential harm:

  1. Always Listen To Your Body

Begin slowly and gradually increase the duration and intensity of your walks. Aim for brisk walking for at least 30 minutes on most days of the week.

  1. Maintain Good Posture

Keep an upright posture with your shoulders back and core muscles engaged. Avoid hunching or slouching while walking.

  1. Wear Proper Footwear

Use shoes that offer support and have adequate cushioning to absorb impact and protect your joints.

Dos And Don’ts For Walking And Back Pain

Dr. Vidyadhara emphasized that while walking is beneficial for health, certain dos and don’ts should be observed:

Dos:

– Start your walk with gentle stretches to warm up and follow with a cool-down routine after your walk.

– Pay attention to your form by maintaining a steady pace and avoiding excessive bouncing.

Don’ts:

– Avoid pushing yourself too hard, especially at the beginning. Take breaks as necessary.

– Steer clear of uneven surfaces that can cause instability and falls. Choose flat, well-maintained paths instead.

Precautions And When To Seek Help

While brisk walking is generally safe, Dr. Vidyadhara advised consulting a doctor before beginning any exercise program, particularly if you have pre-existing medical conditions or severe back pain. He also noted that in some instances, walking alone might not suffice. Your doctor might suggest physiotherapy or other pain management techniques in conjunction with walking for the best results.

“Overall, walking is a readily available and low-risk exercise with significant benefits for those struggling with low back pain. This is the best way to walk your way to a healthier, pain-free back. So, lace up your shoes and step outside walking in your vicinity every day!” Dr. Vidyadhara recommended.

June 21st, International Day of Yoga

This year marks the 10th International Day of Yoga with the theme “Yoga for Self and Society.” Yoga, a transformative practice, represents the harmony of mind and body, the balance between thought and action, and the unity of restraint and fulfillment. It integrates the body, mind, spirit, and soul, offering a holistic approach to health and well-being that brings peace to our hectic lives. Its power to transform is what we celebrate on this special day.

Yoga is an ancient physical, mental and spiritual practice that originated in India. The word ‘yoga’ derives from Sanskrit and means to join or to unite, symbolizing the union of body and consciousness. Today it is practiced in various forms around the world and continues to grow in popularity. The International Day of Yoga aims to raise awareness worldwide of the many benefits of practicing yoga.

In the United States, there are over 36,000 yoga studios- that’s almost as many McDonalds chains operating across the globe! One in ten Americans practice yoga and through the dissemination of Indian culture and practices, yoga continues to gain popularity the world over.

A recent report, “Small Community, Big Contributions, Boundless Horizons,” in partnership with BCG (Boston Consulting Group) dives deep into the myriad of ways the American diaspora has shaped and continues to transform American society across economic, cultural, scientific, civic, social and philanthropic areas. In addition to a wealth of eye-opening statistics, the project will also profile inspiring individuals who epitomize the contribution of the diaspora across the full range of economic and cultural areas.

What is Yoga and why do we celebrate it?

Yoga is an ancient physical, mental and spiritual practice that originated in India. The word ‘yoga’ derives from Sanskrit and means to join or to unite, symbolizing the union of body and consciousness.

Today it is practiced in various forms around the world and continues to grow in popularity.

Recognizing its universal appeal, on 11 December 2014, the United Nations proclaimed 21 June as the International Day of Yoga by resolution 69/131.

The International Day of Yoga aims to raise awareness worldwide of the many benefits of practicing yoga.

The draft resolution establishing the International Day of Yoga was proposed by India and endorsed by a record 175 member states. The proposal was first introduced by Prime Minister Narendra Modi in his address during the opening of the 69th session of the General Assembly, in which he said: “Yoga is an invaluable gift from our ancient tradition. Yoga embodies unity of mind and body, thought and action … a holistic approach [that] is valuable to our health and our well-being. Yoga is not just about exercise; it is a way to discover the sense of oneness with yourself, the world and the nature.”

The resolution notes “the importance of individuals and populations making healthier choices and following lifestyle patterns that foster good health.” In this regard, the World Health Organization has also urged its member states to help their citizens reduce physical inactivity, which is among the top ten leading causes of death worldwide, and a key risk factor for non-communicable diseases, such as cardiovascular diseases, cancer and diabetes.

But yoga is more than a physical activity. In the words of one of its most famous practitioners, the late B. K. S. Iyengar, “Yoga cultivates the ways of maintaining a balanced attitude in day-to-day life and endows skill in the performance of one’s actions.”

 

June 21st International Day of Yoga

Unite in Balance: Celebrating International Yoga Day

Black and Gold Simple Elegant Mandala Page Border US Letter SizeDr. Indranill Basu-Ray is a Cardiac Electrophysiologist and a Professor of Cardiology and Public health, based in Memphis, Tennessee, USA. He is the Founder Chairman of American Academy for Yoga in Medicine.

Finding time to care for our health can feel impossible in our fast-paced world. Busy schedules and unhealthy routines can leave us stressed and out of balance. That’s where yoga comes in—a holistic exercise that keeps our bodies flexible, our minds calm, and our spirits energized. Yoga provides a sanctuary of peace amidst the chaos, offering a path to inner harmony and well-being.

What is Yoga?

Yoga is an ancient practice that started in India over 5,000 years ago. It was developed to connect the mind, body, and soul, helping individuals reach a state of enlightenment. Today, yoga is popular worldwide to improve overall health and manage stress. It goes beyond the physical, touching every aspect of our lives and promoting peace and balance.

What Makes Yoga Unique?

  • Holistic Approach: Yoga integrates physical postures, breathing exercises, and meditation to promote overall well-being.
  • Accessibility: It can be practiced by people of all ages and fitness levels.
  • Picture: Canva Regular practice reduces stress and anxiety, fostering mental clarity and calmness.
  • Flexibility and Strength: Enhances physical strength, flexibility, and balance.
  • Mind-Body Connection: Encourages a deeper awareness of the body and mind, promoting mindfulness in daily activities.

International Yoga Day

International Yoga Day is celebrated every year on June 21. This special day highlights the importance of yoga and encourages people worldwide to practice it. It’s a global event that brings together yoga enthusiasts from all walks of life, celebrating yoga’s positive impact on our physical, mental, and spiritual well-being. Yoga Day is a reminder of the ancient practice’s enduring relevance and ability to transform lives.

History and Importance of International Yoga Day

Proposed by India’s Prime Minister Narendra Modi in 2014, International Yoga Day was first celebrated on June 21, 2015. The date, the longest day of the year, symbolizes the light and energy that yoga brings into our lives. This day promotes yoga’s mental and physical health benefits and fosters a sense of global unity and peace.

How International Yoga Day Contributes to Yoga Development

  • Global Awareness: Raises awareness about the benefits of yoga.
  • Community Building: Brings people together to practice and celebrate yoga.
  • Educational Events: Features workshops and sessions that educate people about yoga.
  • Encouragement: Inspires individuals to incorporate yoga into their daily lives for improved well-being.

Yoga’s Popularity and Benefits in Numbers

Yoga’s popularity continues to grow globally, supported by various studies and statistics:

  • Global Reach: Approximately 300 million people practice yoga worldwide, with over 36 million practitioners in the United States alone.
  • Health Benefits: Scientific studies show that yoga can reduce stress, lower blood pressure, improve heart health, and enhance mental clarity.
  • Regular Practice: About 37% of yoga practitioners have been practicing for five years or more, indicating long-term commitment and benefits.
  • Physical Fitness: Yoga improves flexibility, strength, and balance, with 86% of practitioners citing physical fitness as their main reason for practicing.
  • Mental Health: Yoga significantly reduces anxiety and depression, with 43% of practitioners stating it helps them manage mental health issues.

The Theme of International Yoga Day 2024

The theme for 2024 is “Yoga for Women Empowerment.” This theme aims to raise awareness about yoga’s benefits for women and encourage individuals to incorporate yoga into their daily lives for improved well-being. It emphasizes the role of yoga in promoting physical, mental, and emotional health, empowering women to lead balanced and fulfilling lives.

How to Celebrate International Yoga Day

  • Join a Virtual Event: Participate in online yoga classes and workshops.
  • Go on a Yoga Retreat: Spend time focusing on yoga and relaxation.
  • Practice with Family and Friends: Gather loved ones and practice yoga together.
  • Learn a New Pose: Challenge yourself with a new yoga pose.
  • Create a Yoga Space at Home: Set up a special place for your yoga practice.

Basic Rules for Practicing Yoga

  • Empty Stomach: Practice yoga on an empty stomach for comfort and effectiveness.
  • Start Slowly: Begin with simple poses and gradually move to more challenging ones.
  • Relax Before You Start: Take 10 minutes to relax your mind and body before beginning.
  • Wear Comfortable Clothes: Choose comfortable, light-colored clothes.
  • Use a Yoga Mat: Practice on a mat for support and cushioning.
  • Morning Practice: Doing yoga in the morning can help you feel energized all day.
  • Stay Regular: Practice yoga daily for the best results.

Family Yoga Practice

Yoga with your family strengthens your bonds and creates a peaceful and fun routine. Here’s why you should try family yoga:

  • Increases Mutual Understanding: Spending time together through yoga fosters love and respect.
  • Strengthens Bonds: Helps you understand and support each other.
  • Encourages Open Communication: Yoga creates a safe space for honest conversations.
  • Starts the Day Fresh: Relieves mental fatigue and energizes you.
  • Inculcates Healthy Habits: Promotes good habits like punctuality and empathy.

Yoga is a wonderful practice that improves flexibility, reduces stress, boosts immunity, and much more. Whether you’re a beginner or an experienced yogi, let’s roll out our mats this International Yoga Day and embrace the benefits of yoga! Let’s make this day a celebration of health, peace, and unity.

The Power of a Name: Navigating the Personal and Professional Impacts of Changing Surnames

What’s in a name?

In the early stages, a name is just a wobbly scribble on the front of a schoolbook or called out during attendance. As life progresses, it appears at the top of a CV, on a driver’s license, and, if fortunate, on the deed to a home. However, some individuals might change their name without fully understanding the impact of this decision, which can be significant.

In the U.S., a Pew Research study from last year shows that 80% of married women in opposite-sex relationships adopt their husband’s surname. This trend has remained relatively stable over the past few decades. However, younger generations (those aged 18 to 49) are twice as likely as those aged 50 and above to keep their original surname. Despite this, 73% of women under 50 still choose to take their partner’s surname.

The decision to change one’s name is deeply personal and often influenced by professional considerations, according to Michael Bradicich, the owner of MissNowMrs.com, a service that has assisted over 400,000 brides with the name-change process. While some people make this decision impulsively, those who have built a career around their name tend to think twice. After all, “their name is part of their career.”

Unexpected Consequences

Changing a name, or maintaining separate professional and legal names, can lead to unforeseen complications. For instance, women in academia may find it challenging to consolidate their work under both their maiden and married names, risking the loss of critical funding, opportunities, or promotions. Professionals with certifications or licenses under a previous name must ensure prompt paperwork updates to continue practicing. Additionally, those with a significant digital footprint may lose an aspect of their personal brand.

On the other hand, changing a surname can have benefits, such as bypassing biases in recruiting or application systems related to race, age, and gender, or adding a layer of privacy to one’s personal life. For some, a name change can symbolize a fresh start, whether for personal reasons or a career shift, and help build rapport with colleagues and customers. Ultimately, the most important reason to change a name is personal happiness.

Experts emphasize that there is no right or wrong choice regarding name changes, but an informed decision is always preferable.

A Common Phenomenon

Bala Chaudhary, a faculty member in Dartmouth University’s Environmental Studies department, had not given much thought to her name professionally until she overheard a male peer complaining about a scientist changing her surname after marriage. This peer’s complaint about her mentor’s papers appearing under both a married and maiden name highlighted the triviality of this issue compared to other challenges women in science face. Chaudhary’s experience reflects the pressure not to change one’s surname, aligning with Pew Research findings that women with higher academic qualifications are less likely to change their names after marriage. For example, 83% of women with a college degree or less change their names, compared to 79% with a bachelor’s degree and 68% with a postgraduate degree.

Considering Family

A surname change often signals a shift in an individual’s private life, prompting assumptions about their intentions, such as starting a family. Data supports this to some extent: a 2023 study by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention found that 53% of births between 2015 and 2019 were to married women, with an additional 25% to women in cohabiting situations. Moreover, 20% of married women have a second child within 24 months of their first. However, not all married women who change their surnames have children; some prefer a DINK (double income, no kids) lifestyle or are childless by choice. Nevertheless, outsiders might still make assumptions about a woman’s career trajectory based on her marital status.

This issue is evident in real-world scenarios. Chaudhary noted that many respected female scientists avoid discussing their personal lives to prevent professional bias. This reflects the broader concern that women must consider how sharing personal details might impact their careers.

Career Depth

MissNowMrs.com’s Bradicich observed that the depth of one’s career affects how challenging a name change can be. His company, launched in 2006, has helped over 400,000 women navigate the name change process, revealing distinct patterns. For younger individuals, changing a name primarily involves updating government forms. However, for professionals, the process is more complex, involving payroll, company emails, professional certifications, and licensing.

The impact of a name change varies with career experience. Individuals deeply entrenched in their professional identities tend to be more aware of the implications. However, many still encounter unexpected challenges, particularly when traveling, as mismatched travel documents can create significant hassles.

Digital Detox

A name change can also serve as a digital reset, adding privacy in an online world, according to Jamie White, an Ireland-based life coach and business mentor. In a digital age where everything is tracked, changing one’s name can offer a fresh start. This can be particularly beneficial for individuals seeking more anonymity online, such as teachers trying to keep their social media profiles hidden from students.

Moreover, a name change can help bypass biases inherent in education and hiring systems. A 2023 study from the University of Michigan found that students with surnames in the latter half of the alphabet received lower grades when graded alphabetically. Similarly, a study from King’s College London revealed that applicants with English names received more positive responses for leadership roles than those with non-English names.

While changing one’s name to circumvent such biases reflects poorly on current hiring practices, it can also be a strategic decision. White noted that differentiating between legal and professional names can help individuals build new professional identities.

Authenticity and Choice

Ultimately, the most important factor in deciding whether to change one’s name is personal desire. Being open about the decision can mitigate confusion in a corporate setting. A simple social media post or an email reminder can help colleagues adjust to the change.

White emphasized that authenticity is key in professional relationships. “People work with people, they don’t want these professional facades and performances. They find them inhuman, unrelatable, and difficult to connect with. They say that nothing resonates at a higher frequency than authenticity.”

“There’s no right or wrong answer,” Bradicich echoed. “It’s a very personal decision but one which you should discuss with your family, partner, or friends.”

Chaudhary added that the conversation around name changes is evolving, a necessary shift long overdue. She highlighted the importance of flexibility and open dialogue among women in science, both in formal and informal settings.

“The ultimate feminist decision is to have complete choice and to be able to change the decision any time you want,” she said. “The message when I was a student was: ‘Decide now and lock it in.’ There should be flexibility.”

“The conversations among women in science are happening,” she added. “The next step … is getting integration into mentorship training. It’s really getting it out into labs, getting it out into faculty meetings, the search committee meetings.”

How to Get the Most Health Benefits from Minimal Exercise: Expert Tips and Strategies

The Minimal Effective Dose of Exercise: How Little Can You Get Away With?

A few years ago, personal trainer Anna Maltby had to reduce her exercise routine due to the demands of work and motherhood. Like many of her clients, she found herself without the time or energy to exercise as she used to. She managed several 15-minute workouts each week, and felt it was sufficient for her at that stage. “I actually felt like I got my minimum effective dose for that stage of my life,” she says.

Many people feel they are too busy to exercise, while others actively avoid it. However, research indicates that even minimal exercise is essential for a longer, healthier life, free from conditions like dementia, heart disease, diabetes, and cancer. Additionally, exercise can improve daily happiness and energy levels.

So, how little exercise is enough to reap these benefits? Experts suggest that it may require a shift in how we define exercise.

Meeting the Minimum Guidelines

Guidelines from the World Health Organization (WHO), the U.S. government, and other bodies provide adults with options for minimal weekly aerobic activity. One option is at least 75 to 150 minutes of vigorous activity, which makes conversation difficult and raises your heart rate to about 80% of its peak. Another option is 150 to 300 minutes of moderate activity, at 60-70% of your maximum heart rate.

A combination of vigorous and moderate exercise is also acceptable, with vigorous workouts counting double towards the weekly goal. For example, 50 minutes of vigorous activity counts as 100 minutes of moderate activity, leaving just 50 more minutes of moderate activity needed to meet the weekly minimum.

These minimal amounts provide significant health benefits with the least effort. “If you look at the statistical curve, the increase in benefits is most dramatic” when these minimums are achieved, says Regina Guthold, an epidemiologist at the WHO. While more exercise brings further benefits, the gains diminish beyond 300 minutes of moderate exercise.

These thresholds also benefit mental health. Mary de Groot, a psychologist at Indiana University School of Medicine, notes that those who exercised 120 to 360 minutes per week had the best mental health in a study involving over one million people.

Saving Time with Hybrid Workouts

Cardio alone isn’t enough; strength training is also essential, at least twice a week. Skipping it can lead to muscle atrophy and osteoporosis. However, strength training can be integrated into cardio sessions by using body weight as resistance, allowing for more repetitions that raise heart rate and build muscle. This “multicomponent activity” is especially recommended for seniors to improve balance and reduce fall risks.

Hybrid workouts, such as pushups, Turkish get-ups, mountain climbers, burpees, air squats, and lunges, can condense weekly exercise into as few as 75 minutes.

Skipping Days, Not Months

Life’s demands often mean skipping exercise for several days. Fortunately, Guthold says that catching up later in the week still provides benefits. “Weekend warriors get the same benefits as those who are active every day for less time,” she notes. Missing a week or two occasionally is also acceptable. Stella Volpe, professor of exercise and nutrition at Virginia Tech, says, “It’s normal for people to have highs and lows with physical activity, even if they love it.”

Even on off-weeks, five minutes of daily activity can improve blood flow, blood sugar, and sleep quality, says Katrina Piercy, an exercise physiologist at the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (HHS). However, prolonged inactivity, such as two weeks of being sedentary, can significantly reduce aerobic fitness and muscle mass, increasing disease risk.

Combining Exercise with Movement Breaks

Regular movement breaks are crucial, even if they don’t meet exercise intensity. To make the most of these breaks, use them to elevate your heart rate. Studies show that frequent movement breaks reduce death risk, says Keith Diaz, an associate professor at Columbia University Medical Center. He suggests turning breaks into mini-exercise sessions of about five minutes each.

For those who can increase intensity, one-minute exercise bursts, 20 times a week, can be effective. Martin Gibala, a kinesiology professor at McMaster University, recommends quick activities like walking briskly or climbing stairs. This method reduces total exercise time and breaks up sedentary periods.

Redefining Exercise

Exercise doesn’t have to be a formal, time-consuming activity. Gibala’s study found that people who engaged in short bouts of vigorous activity during daily tasks significantly reduced their risk of dying from cancer and heart disease. Diaz found that five-minute walks every 30 minutes improved blood sugar, blood pressure, mood, and energy. These breaks can also boost productivity.

Making exercise a part of daily routines can be as simple as speed-walking meetings or running to the coffee shop. Volpe mentions a friend who dances with his child during TV commercial breaks, noting, “You’ll be amazed how good you feel by dancing a little instead of getting a snack.”

Piercy turns grocery shopping into a workout by racing through the store and carrying groceries in a basket. “Some days I don’t have a formal workout,” she says, “but I grocery shopped, or found other ways to multitask some activity.”

Finding Enjoyable Activities

The best way to reduce exercise time is to engage in physical activities that don’t feel like exercise. This might involve being social, having fun, and enjoying nature. High-intensity interval training (HIIT) at a park with friends is one example. HIIT combines activity bursts with recovery breaks, making exercise more enjoyable. Sports like tennis and interval walking also count. “The rest intervals certainly count toward total minutes because your heart rate stays high during the breaks,” Volpe says.

Exercising in nature can enhance mood benefits. “The improvements in mood are even better when people exercise outside,” Diaz says. “Green exercise” boosts emotions, self-esteem, and protects against depression, adds de Groot.

Personalizing Your Minimum Exercise

Determining your minimum exercise level depends on individual goals and values. “When working with people on physical activity plans, the first thing I do is encourage them to think about their goals and values,” de Groot says.

Your personal minimum exercise (ME) may be higher if you prioritize longevity and health. “The more you exercise, the longer you’ll live free of chronic disease,” Diaz notes. Others might focus on finding a sustainable amount that enhances daily well-being.

Factors to consider when setting your ME include:

– Time commitments:Maltby’s clients, for example, may have limited workout possibilities during pregnancy.

– Physical capacity: Guidelines may vary for those with illnesses or disabilities.

– Developmental stage:Kids need more activity than adults, averaging at least 60 minutes a day.

– Psychological needs:Teens with ADHD, for example, might require more exercise to optimize brain function, says Erin Gonzalez, a clinical psychologist at Seattle Children’s Hospital.

Fitness trackers and mood apps can help monitor how different exercise levels affect health, sleep, and emotions. The HHS “Move Your Way” planner assists in creating weekly activity plans. “Monitoring your health data and progress objectively is very helpful,” Gonzalez explains.

Wearable devices can also turn exercise into family bonding time. Instead of instructing teens to be active, achieving minimum goals together can support lasting lifestyle changes. “Doing so can sustain family lifestyle change,” Gonzalez says.

Study Reveals Intense Exercise May Suppress Immune Function in Firefighters

Excessive intense exercise might suppress the immune system, a potential concern for those with physically demanding jobs such as emergency responders and athletes. A 2023 study involving over 4,700 post-exercise fluid molecules from firefighters supports this notion.

Ernesto Nakayasu, a biomedical scientist at Pacific Northwest National Laboratory (PNNL), explains, “People who are very fit might be more prone to viral respiratory infection immediately after vigorous exercise. Having less inflammatory activity to fight off an infection could be one cause.”

Moderate physical activity is known to benefit the immune system over time. However, the immediate impact of vigorous exercise on the immune system is debated. Although some prior studies have reported upper respiratory tract infections in athletes after strenuous activity, there is little concrete evidence linking intense exercise directly to an increased risk of opportunistic infections.

Nakayasu and colleagues conducted an experiment on 11 firefighters, analyzing their blood plasma, urine, and saliva before and after a 45-minute intense exercise session, which involved carrying up to 20 kilograms (44 pounds) of gear over hilly terrain.

Kristin Burnum-Johnson, a bioanalytical chemist at PNNL, said, “We wanted to take an in-depth look at what’s happening in the body and see if we’re able to detect danger from exhaustion in its earliest stages. Perhaps we can reduce the risk of strenuous exercise for first responders, athletes, and members of the military.”

Exercise undoubtedly benefits health, from mood enhancement to immune system strengthening. However, similar to previous studies, this new research found signs of possible immune suppression in the firefighters post-exercise.

Amid the expected physical adaptations to meet the demands of increased fluids, energy, and oxygen during exercise, a decrease in inflammation-related molecules was observed, alongside an increase in opiorphin, which dilates peripheral blood vessels.

The implications of these changes for short-term immune function remain unclear, though the researchers offer hypotheses. “[Opiorphin] may increase blood flow to muscles during the exercise regimen to improve the delivery of oxygen and nutrients,” the researchers write. They suggest the decrease in inflammatory molecules after exercise could be an adaptive response to improve gas exchange due to higher cellular oxygen demand.

The participants’ oral microbiome also changed, possibly due to an increase in antimicrobial peptides in their mouths after intense activity. This increase may compensate for immune suppression, though this is debated. “However, this increase in antimicrobial peptides had no effect on inhibiting E. coli growth,” Nakayasu and his team note, indicating a limited protective capacity of these peptides against infections in the oral cavity.

Other scientists argue that some observed changes might indicate a “heightened state of immune surveillance and immune regulation” rather than immune suppression.

While the study’s within-subject comparison minimized the small sample size impact, firefighters’ unique exposure to pollutants during fires might also alter their immune responses.

Moreover, the study only involved healthy, active men, prompting researchers to call for broader research to confirm their findings. Despite these limitations, Nakayasu and his team conclude, “There is evidence supporting a relationship between physical demands and a higher incidence of respiratory infections.”

Revolutionizing Housing: Maine’s ASCC Unveils World’s Largest 3D Printer for Bio-Based Homes

Dozens of 3D-printed homes have been constructed worldwide, from accommodating a family in Virginia to housing members of an impoverished community in rural Mexico. Notably, the world’s largest 3D-printed neighborhood is currently being built near Austin, Texas.

This technology could be particularly beneficial in states like Maine, which will need approximately 80,000 new homes by 2030 to address a housing shortage, according to a report released last year by three state agencies.

“People can’t find homes, they’re very expensive. We also have an aging population…so there’s less and less people who are electricians, plumbers, or builders,” Habib Dagher, the executive director of the University of Maine’s Advanced Structures and Composites Center (ASCC), told CNN via video call.

Dagher believes he has a solution. Last month, ASCC unveiled what it claims is the world’s largest polymer 3D printer. Dagher hopes the “Factory of the Future 1.0” can help address the state’s housing crisis and revolutionize 3D-home-printing in the process.

“The approach we’ve taken is quite different from what you’ve seen, and you’ve been reading about for years,” he says.

A Home Every 48 Hours

In recent years, 3D-printing has been used to build various structures, from businesses and bridges to mosques. One non-profit is even working on printing schools in a war zone. Dubai, in the United Arab Emirates, holds the Guinness World Record for the world’s largest 3D-printed structure and aims to have 25% of new buildings constructed using 3D printing technology by 2030.

The majority of current 3D printing relies on concrete, with a robotic arm equipped with a nozzle layering wet concrete into the desired shape.

ASCC is taking a different approach. Its massive printer and its predecessor, which in 2019 was certified by Guinness World Records as the “largest prototype polymer 3D printer,” are the only printers building homes with wood residuals, according to Dagher.

This technology has already been tested. In late 2022, the university unveiled the “BioHome3D,” a 600-square-foot single-family unit, which it claims is the world’s first 100% bio-based 3D-printed home, constructed from local wood fiber and bio-resin materials.

“When they’re doing concrete, they’re only printing the walls,” says Dagher. He explains that the floor, roof, and walls of the BioHome3D were all printed.

Concrete homes also need to be built on-site, which can be problematic, especially during the snowy New England winter. “When the weather goes bad for two weeks at a time, you can’t print,” he adds.

In contrast, ASCC printed prefabricated modules at the university and bolted them together on-site to create BioHome3D.

The new printer can produce objects as large as 96 feet long, 32 feet wide, and 18 feet high, and can print up to 500 pounds per hour. Dagher says the goal is to be able to print 1,000 pounds of material in an hour. At that rate, it could reproduce the BioHome3D in 48 hours, he says.

If they can reach that target, their 3D-printed homes will be “very competitive with current housing construction costs,” he adds.

However, processing wood materials at such a high speed can be challenging. Even ASCC’s record-breaking printers sometimes jam. For instance, while printing BioHome3D, the printer stopped working due to a dust buildup. “Nobody’s ever done this before with these kinds of materials,” says Dagher.

‘When Can I Have One?’

The BioHome3D’s warm wooden floors and walls give it a sleek, modern Scandinavian-inspired log cabin look.

“Many people feel concrete is a cold thing to look at and it’s not necessarily where you want to live,” says Dagher. The BioHome3D, however, is “very warm and inviting.”

It’s also sustainable. When a home is no longer needed or wanted, it can be ground up and used to print something else. ASCC is using wood residuals from Maine’s sawmills in its research and is looking into scaling up production using these local byproducts.

Thousands of people have toured the prototype on the university’s Orono, Maine campus, and Dagher says it’s rare when a visitor doesn’t ask, “‘When can I have one?’”

“We hear, ‘You know, I’m retiring, and I want to downsize. Can I put one of these up?’” Dagher says.

There are some obstacles to overcome first. “It takes years for codes to change,” says Dagher, referring to building codes that construction companies must meet.

The printer won’t displace traditional home construction, but in the future, 3D printed homes are likely to comprise a larger share of the world’s housing stock, he predicts.

ASCC is now working on how to incorporate conduits for wiring and plumbing “exactly where an architect would want them” into the printing process, he adds.

The printer’s next big project is a nine-home neighborhood for people experiencing homelessness. ASCC is partnering with a local NGO to design the structures, and printing is set to begin in 2025.

Unlocking the Secrets to Mental Sharpness: Eight Daily Habits for Healthy Aging

Maintaining Cognitive Sharpness: A Guide to Healthy Aging

Maintaining mental acuity as we age isn’t solely reliant on chance. It’s a consequence of our daily routines and lifestyle decisions.

Many marvel at the mental agility of individuals well into their 70s, 80s, and beyond. Yet, it’s no enigma – they adhere to daily practices that foster sharpness.

I’ve observed and aggregated the prevailing habits of such individuals. Surprisingly, it’s never too late to integrate these into your own life.

In this piece, I’ll outline eight daily habits typically embraced by those who retain mental agility well into their senior years. They’re more straightforward than you might imagine.

1) Physical Activity

One of the most prevalent habits among those who sustain mental acuity into their later years? Regular physical activity.

Exercise doesn’t just sustain physical fitness; it profoundly impacts brain health too.

Engaging in physical activities enhances blood circulation to the brain, bolstering cognitive functions. Moreover, it releases neurotransmitters that uplift mood and induce relaxation.

From strolls to yoga, swimming to gardening – the nature of the activity is inconsequential. Consistency is key.

To maintain sharpness as you age, incorporate regular physical activity into your daily regimen. Commence modestly, but commence promptly. It’s never too late to adopt a new habit for your well-being.

2) Continuous Learning

Another habit prevalent among those who maintain mental sharpness is a commitment to lifelong learning.

For instance, my octogenarian aunt, remarkably astute for her age, has always been an avid reader. She commences each day by perusing the newspaper from cover to cover.

Yet, it doesn’t cease there. She actively partakes in book clubs, attends lectures, and even enrolled in an online course last year, delving into ancient history – a topic she’s perennially been captivated by.

What her example underscores is that perpetually learning and stimulating one’s mind isn’t merely beneficial for brain health; it imbues life with interest and excitement.

3) Nutritious Diet

Our dietary choices wield considerable influence over our mental sharpness as we age. Certain foods are known to fortify brain health.

The Mediterranean diet, abundant in fruits, vegetables, whole grains, olive oil, and lean protein, is often correlated with reduced risks of cognitive decline.

It’s not about adhering to stringent dietary regimes, but consistently opting for healthier choices. Incorporating brain-boosting foods like blueberries, broccoli, pumpkin seeds, and dark chocolate into our meals can yield significant benefits.

Remember, what you consume doesn’t solely impact your waistline; it profoundly affects your brain health. Make the conscientious decision to nourish your body and mind with wholesome food.

4) Social Engagement

Maintaining social connections is another habit of those who preserve mental sharpness in later years. Human beings thrive on interpersonal interactions.

Whether it involves catching up with friends over coffee, engaging in group activities, or simply conversing with neighbors, regular social interaction invigorates our brains and keeps us mentally stimulated.

Conversely, isolation can exert deleterious effects on both mental and physical well-being. So, keep your social calendar abuzz – it’s beneficial for your brain.

5) Quality Sleep

Obtaining adequate sleep isn’t solely about awakening refreshed; it plays a pivotal role in cognitive health.

During sleep, the brain consolidates memories and eliminates waste products, essentially recharging and resetting.

Individuals who sustain mental sharpness into their later years often prioritize quality sleep as part of their daily routine.

Thus, ensure you’re receiving sufficient sleep each night. Your brain will express gratitude.

6) Mindfulness and Meditation

In today’s frenetic pace, it’s easy to succumb to hustle and bustle, neglecting moments of introspection.

Yet, those who retain mental sharpness as they age often engage in mindfulness or meditation. These practices alleviate stress, enhance concentration, and foster tranquility and well-being.

By grounding ourselves in the present moment, we allow our minds to rejuvenate, fortify, and develop resilience against life’s stressors.

Therefore, allocate a few moments daily to breathe deeply, introspect, and be present. It’s a gift bestowed not only upon oneself but also upon those in one’s orbit.

7) Cognitive Stimulation

Just as physical exercise is vital for maintaining bodily health, cognitive exercises are imperative for brain health.

I recall my grandfather’s daily ritual of solving crosswords. Every evening, he would ensconce himself in his favorite armchair, pencil in hand, deeply engrossed in the puzzle. Even as his eyesight waned, he persisted, switching to larger prints but never relinquishing his beloved crosswords.

Cognitive exercises such as puzzles, board games, or learning a new language challenge our brains, preserving mental agility and staving off cognitive decline.

Embrace the practice of challenging your brain daily. Your future self will be appreciative.

8) Optimistic Outlook

Arguably the most crucial habit is maintaining a positive attitude. Those who retain mental sharpness in their golden years often harbor an optimistic perspective on life.

A positive outlook enhances resilience in confronting stressful situations, mitigates the risk of physical health ailments, and contributes to longevity. It’s a potent tool that shapes our reality and influences mental well-being.

Therefore, endeavor to nurture a positive mindset, even amidst adversity. It transcends mere sentiment; it’s indispensable for cognitive health.

Unlocking the Complex Pursuit of Happiness: Insights from Neuroscientist Dr. Sanjay Gupta

Happiness is a concept deeply embedded in human history, dating back to ancient civilizations. Approximately 250 years ago, it was enshrined as an unalienable right in the United States’ Declaration of Independence: “Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”

Despite centuries of contemplation, the notion of happiness and its attainment remains elusive. For some, it signifies a general sense of well-being, while others equate it with moments of pure joy. Some find happiness in achieving dreams, while for others, it could be a blend of these experiences or something entirely different.

Personally, I consider myself a fairly happy person. I have three wonderful teenage daughters and a loving wife, Rebecca, with whom I recently celebrated our 20th anniversary. My family, including my parents and my “baby” brother, is close-knit. My career as a practicing neurosurgeon and CNN’s chief medical correspondent provides me with a sense of purpose. However, I recognize that happiness is complex, layered, and nuanced.

**The Pursuit of Happiness**

A challenging question is how best to pursue happiness. Is it a fixed trait we are born with, or can it be cultivated and enhanced? If it’s the latter, what strategies can help us achieve it?

Despite the “pursuit of Happiness” being a foundational principle in the U.S., many Americans struggle with it. The latest World Happiness Report saw the U.S. drop to 23rd place, its lowest ranking in the report’s 12-year history. Additionally, a 2024 Gallup poll revealed that less than half (47%) of Americans are “very satisfied” with their personal lives.

This issue isn’t confined to Americans; humans as a species might not be naturally adept at achieving happiness. Contrary to what one might expect, happiness isn’t something we are genetically primed to attain; it requires effort.

“If anything, natural selection kind of doesn’t really care about our happiness that much. I mean, natural selection’s job is just to keep us alive and keep us around to reproduce. And I think it does that not by making us feel these moments of contentment but maybe just the opposite,” cognitive scientist Dr. Laurie Santos explained to me recently.

“It does that by building in a negativity bias. So we’re just a little bit worried that there could be a tiger around the corner, that we could get shunned at work. And we’re kind of constantly on the alert for that,” she added.

Dr. Santos, who holds a doctorate in psychology, teaches “Psychology and the Good Life” at Yale University, the most popular course in the university’s history, and hosts “The Happiness Lab” podcast. She was also the first guest on the 10th season of my podcast, “Chasing Life.” This season, I speak with experts across various disciplines about the science of happiness, including its definition, attainment, maintenance, and effects on our minds and bodies.

**I’m Happy but ‘Constructively Dissatisfied’**

Despite being a generally happy person, I also consider myself “constructively dissatisfied,” a term I coined during my conversation with Santos.

I distinguish between happiness and satisfaction, believing that complete satisfaction might erode my happiness by leading to complacency and stagnation. My personality seems to thrive on dissatisfaction, which propels me into action and enhances my energy and enthusiasm.

The times when I feel happiest are when my constructive dissatisfaction drives me to improve situations, whether it’s removing a brain tumor, completing a documentary, working in my garden, or cooking dinner with my family.

Kelly McGonigal, a health psychologist and author, who also appeared on my podcast, agreed with this perspective. “Because dissatisfaction often is the soil in which growth and positive change happens,” she explained. “And dissatisfaction doesn’t actually have to be a lack of appreciation or gratitude. If you can envision a better future for yourself or others, it requires feeling a gap between how things are and how things could be.”

The “constructive” aspect is crucial to me because I don’t want to merely wallow in dissatisfaction; I want it to be productive. As long as dissatisfaction doesn’t overwhelm my emotional well-being, it benefits me, though it can be a source of tension and struggle.

“It strikes me that you’ve kind of gotten something out of the journey, gotten something out of that struggle,” Santos told me, while also cautioning against overextending oneself. “We can push ourselves and engage in challenges; those can be some of the happiest, most flow-inducing moments of our lives. But we need to make sure we’re doing that in balance.”

She warned that if we lose sleep, neglect friendships, and make ourselves miserable, “maybe think about pushing yourself in a different way.”

To mitigate negative feelings, Santos suggested incorporating moments of true happiness into one’s life. “Maybe I need a little bit more laughter or some breaks, or I need to engage in that purposeful pursuit with a bit more social connection, or something like that.”

**Tried and True Strategies**

According to Santos, most people have a set point of happiness. Mine might be lower than my brother’s, who is more outgoing and cheerful, despite our similar backgrounds. Significant events like winning the lottery or experiencing tragedy can temporarily alter happiness levels, but people typically return to their baseline. However, with diligent practice, Santos believes it’s possible to raise one’s happiness level, a concept she teaches her students.

Santos not only lectures about behaviors and mindsets that boost happiness but also assigns practical “course rewirements” to rewire these practices into students’ lives. Her recommendations include paying attention to sleep, exercise, and diet, becoming more “other”-oriented, and fostering gratitude and compassion.

My favorite advice from her is to nurture social connections. “Every available study of happy people suggests that happy people are more social,” Santos said. And conversely, social people tend to be happier. “So we just need to make time for our friends and family members and loved ones.”

Dr. Robert Waldinger, a psychiatrist who oversees the Harvard Study of Adult Development, echoed this sentiment, emphasizing that good relationships are the key to both happiness and health. Warm relationships help buffer life’s challenges, reducing stress hormones and inflammation, which are linked to many chronic diseases.

This doesn’t mean one must be an extrovert or a social butterfly. Rather, it’s about consistently nurturing relationships. Waldinger advises being proactive in reaching out to friends, establishing routines like weekly calls, refreshing old relationships with new activities, making new friends through shared interests, and initiating conversations with strangers. The right amount of social interaction varies from person to person.

Meaningful relationships are essential to my happiness. I know from experience that strong connections with family and friends are crucial, and they are ultimately what bring me the greatest joy.

Unlocking Restful Sleep: Strategies to Combat Nighttime Phone Use and Improve Sleep Quality

Jessica Peoples, like many individuals today, is no stranger to the cautionary tales surrounding excessive screen time before bed. Despite this awareness, she admits to spending between 30 to 60 minutes on her phone before drifting off to sleep, often engrossed in social media feeds. Peoples, employed as a discrimination investigator with the state of New Jersey, acknowledges the impact of her screen time on her sleep, noting, “Recently, I’ve been trying to limit the amount… I do notice that how much time I spend affects how long it takes to fall asleep.”

The prevalence of this behavior extends beyond just Peoples. A survey conducted by the National Sleep Foundation revealed that over half of Americans engage with their phones within an hour of bedtime, prompting experts to highlight this hour as the cutoff point for device usage. Melissa Milanak, an associate professor at the Medical University of South Carolina specializing in sleep health, underscores the necessity for the brain to unwind well before bedtime to facilitate restorative deep sleep. Drawing an analogy, she compares the brain’s need to cool down before sleep to letting a casserole cool before refrigerating, emphasizing the importance of this preparatory phase for optimal sleep quality.

While altering bedtime habits may pose challenges, the consequences of insufficient sleep are well-documented, ranging from heightened anxiety to obesity. Research underscores the disruptive impact of smartphones on the body’s circadian rhythm, crucial for regulating sleep and hormone functions. Lisa Strauss, a licensed psychologist focusing on cognitive behavioral treatment of sleep disorders, elucidates the multifaceted ways in which screens impede sleep. Beyond the widely discussed blue light emitted by smartphones, even minimal exposure to bright light in bed can disrupt melatonin production, thus delaying the onset of deep sleep.

However, it’s not merely the light emissions that disrupt sleep patterns; the activities conducted on screens also play a significant role. From endlessly scrolling through news updates to succumbing to the allure of personalized social media content, engaging with digital devices at night carries its own set of repercussions. Technostress, induced by the constant influx of information, can trigger heightened arousal, potentially activating the brain’s fight-or-flight response. Additionally, algorithmically curated content often leads users into prolonged scrolling sessions, far beyond their intended duration.

Despite much of the existing research on digital media’s impact on sleep focusing on younger demographics, Strauss notes that a substantial portion of her clients grappling with insomnia are middle-aged individuals. She observes a trend wherein individuals immerse themselves in online content, spiraling down addictive rabbit holes, irrespective of age.

Breaking the cycle of nighttime phone usage necessitates a holistic approach, encompassing not just restricting phone usage in bed but also revamping evening routines. This entails cultivating alternative activities that provide fulfillment and relaxation. Suggestions include indulging in reading physical books (preferably over e-readers), listening to podcasts, engaging in household chores, spending quality time with family, or connecting with loved ones. Milanak emphasizes the importance of utilizing the pre-sleep hour for tasks devoid of screen involvement, recommending the creation of to-do lists as a means of diverting attention away from rumination in bed.

Moreover, it’s crucial to establish a mental association between the bed and sleep by performing non-screen-related activities in another room. Strauss advocates for delineating distinct microenvironments for wakefulness and sleep, even if it entails minor adjustments like altering one’s seating position or facing a different direction. Placing the phone out of reach, preferably in another room, serves as a practical measure to minimize the temptation of late-night screen usage.

For those finding complete cessation of nighttime phone usage unfeasible, there are strategies to mitigate the adverse effects. Implementing night mode settings on devices or gradually reducing screen brightness can help attenuate the impact of artificial light on sleep quality. Minimizing disruptive notifications by activating “do not disturb” mode, with exceptions for essential contacts, offers a compromise between connectivity and sleep hygiene. However, Strauss cautions against viewing these measures as a carte blanche for unrestricted nocturnal screen time, encouraging individuals to reflect on the underlying reasons driving their late-night digital habits.

In essence, addressing the pervasive issue of nighttime phone usage necessitates a comprehensive overhaul of bedtime routines and digital habits. By fostering alternative pre-sleep activities and implementing practical strategies to minimize screen exposure, individuals can reclaim restful sleep and mitigate the detrimental effects of excessive screen time on sleep quality and overall well-being.

Enhance Mental Resilience and Revitalize Metabolism with a 30-Minute Weight-Free Walking Routine

In a bid to cultivate mental fortitude and invigorate metabolic activity, a 30-minute walking workout devoid of weights emerges as a versatile regimen accessible to all, irrespective of location or fitness level.

Collaborating with outdoor footwear giant Merrell, Goop introduces a mindful walking meditation aimed at fostering an enhanced connection with nature while promoting mindfulness. The session, spearheaded by Mel Mah, serves as a guided practice tailored for outdoor environments, be it a hike, beach stroll, park visit, or even a simple backyard excursion. “Developing a deep connection with nature is a matter of getting out in it,” underscores the team. With just half an hour dedicated to this endeavor, participants are encouraged to immerse themselves in the present moment.

For those venturing into public spaces, outfitting with premium workout headphones ensures privacy during this introspective journey. Time spent amidst nature yields multifaceted benefits, ranging from improved sleep and stress reduction to lowered heart rates. Furthermore, research suggests that exposure to outdoor settings, particularly natural landscapes, fosters heightened creativity.

Mah emphasizes the significance of connection in facilitating a deceleration of pace. “Let’s begin by slowing down the mind and body,” she suggests. Commencing with a series of preparatory steps involving closing one’s eyes, elongating the spine, and tuning into bodily sensations through mindful breathing sets the tone for the session.

A notable aspect of Mah’s approach is the delayed introduction of walking, accommodating individuals not solely focused on physical exertion. To fully leverage the 30-minute walking workout, initiating the walk prior to commencing the session is advised.

The Physical and Mental Perks of Outdoor Walking

From a physical standpoint, brisk walking proves instrumental in sustaining a robust metabolism, curbing sedentary behavior, and contributing to Non-Exercise Activity Thermogenesis (NEAT), which encompasses calorie expenditure beyond formal workouts. While the session is framed as a walking meditation, it can seamlessly transition into a workout by incorporating light handheld weights, ankle or wrist weights, amplifying pace, or tackling undulating terrains to elevate heart rate, introduce resistance, and intensify muscle engagement.

However, weighted accessories are not indispensable for reaping rewards. Mental resilience can be honed concurrently with physical conditioning, utilizing body weight to fortify muscles, joints, bones, and ligaments. Moreover, the session underscores a strong emphasis on mindfulness, allowing for moments of silence for personal exploration or heightened intensity if desired.

It is noteworthy that any form of exercise, including walking, contributes positively to overall well-being, with a daily target of 7,000 steps recommended. Individuals pursuing weight loss objectives may find the session’s intensity insufficient and may opt for alternative routines geared towards this goal.

In addition to uplifting mood and mindfulness, walking fosters strength in lower body musculature and vital joints such as hips, knees, and ankles, crucial for preserving muscle mass and bone density with advancing age. This aligns with osteogenic loading, a process wherein bones undergo stimulation for growth and reinforcement.

During the walking session, participants are encouraged to immerse themselves in their surroundings, keenly observing scents, sounds, and tactile sensations. Conscious engagement with foot movements and rhythmic breathing serves to tether the mind to the present, fostering a deeper connection with the sensory experience.

1 May, 2024: The First of May set in Tartu, Estonia

It is Kevadpüha. It is the first day of spring, a day of great festivity and warmth for the Estonian people. Had Mother not had her mother-in-law at home, she would be spending the entire night with her sister, Eha, and her nephew, Jaan, out on the streets of Tartu, celebrating the Walpurgis Night to the fireworks above the town hall building. Of course things are different this year for many reasons. Her nephew is growing to become a teenager and wants to spend less time with the uncool adults who helped raise him. And Mother has been so busy being a second mother to her mother-in-law that she has little time to meet her sister. She hasn’t met her in months and has no idea what is going on in her life, which is why she decided to call her some days ago and invite herself over, to the house she used to visit regularly, in an attempt to celebrate the first day of spring like they used to.

It is Kevadpüha. Mother didn’t come the evening before because there was no way she could have spent a whole night without sleeping after taking care of her mother-in-law all day. Mother comes at seven in the morning, the hour during which Eha readies herself for work. It is in theory the start of spring, but the weather is still incredibly cold. The morning’s temperature is right about zero, and it is hard to bear because of Mother’s lack of fat on her bones and the lack of sunlight above to warm her in its glow. Eha has a beautiful backyard with ample space for a garden and an apple tree, but all that one can see in this hour is the dead, dry, blacked-out branches, the frosted wooden planks of the fence, and the snow. Mother finds the key Eha hides under a doormat—some things never change—and uses it with the fence that will lead to the back of Eha’s home.

Indoors, Mother is greeted by the heat. She takes off all of her outerwear, hangs them in the closet, sits herself at the table in the kitchen, and lets the hot air from the heater blow right over her back.

Just as planned, Mother’s arrival coincides with Eha finishing her shower. She comes downstairs with her blond hair wrapped in a towel. She is looking wet from the shower but also from the excess make-up and lip balm that she cakes on her face. She is wearing a tight black dress that cover her legs but shows off her cleavage. Mother notices the stretch marks and wrinkles around her breasts. She looks like a mess, Mother thinks in the back of her head. Mother feels like she should admonish her for wearing clothes that show off her body in unflattering way, particularly since Eha is aging, but she chooses not to. Her sister will fight with her if she says it.

,, Good morning, Jelena,” Eha says, looking downwards to mind her steps but also connecting her gaze with Mother’s eyes. Her eyes are warm and expressive because of the full shape of her eyelids, but they are icy blue, which make even her casual glance a little piercing.  ,, How was your trip to the house?”

,, Good morning, Eha,” Mother says. ,, My trip was good. Normal. I am a regular, after all.”

Mother laughs and puts her hand on the table, showing off her confidence.

Eha doesn’t respond but focuses on her steps, as if she is having trouble with the dimness of the lights and the shadows being cast by the stair planks.

,,Why are you taking so long to come down?” Mother asks, a light boastfulness in her voice. ,, Are you having trouble? Don’t tell me, you are becoming old like me.”

Again, Eha doesn’t retort. She reaches the end of the bannister and tells Mother, ,, Age is a funny thing, yes. It affects us all, whether it is today or someday.”

Mother curls her fingers on the table. She is used to Eha being snappy, willing to get into an argument over whatever Mother says. But today she is being quite self-effacing, slow, and contemplative.

Did something change over the first few months of the year that Mother did not know about?

Eha opens the fridge, takes out a bunch of food, readies some plates and pans. She seems to be making pancakes, as is the tradition of her house. Mother stands up to help her, but as she grabs at the eggs, Eha slaps her hands away.

,, You have some morning coffee,” she says, and she pours some from the kettle, probably made an hour earlier. Eha has the habit of leaving the stove flame on while the coffee brews during her shower so that it will be piping hot for breakfast. Eha thrusts a cup into Mother’s hand, singeing it. Mother retreats quickly to the table to put it down.

,, Let me help you with the breakfast,” Mother says as she flicks her hand in the air to soothe the burn.

,, You sit, and you wait for your food,” Eha says. ,, It has been too long since you had any of my food.”

Yes, it has, Mother thinks to herself, which is why she wants to help with the breakfast. When Mother helps with the breakfast, she feels like a part of the kitchen. But today she is being served like a guest, which makes her feel even more removed. It doesn’t help that the house looks different. Generally, Eha’s house is decorated like any other traditional house, with brown wooden walls and the smell of wheat almost staining the air, but in the last few months someone has hung up a number of pop art pictures here or there. Mother is tempted to ask if Jaan is suddenly getting interested in Andy Warhol, or contemporary art.

,, Will Jaan come down soon?” Mother asks. Eha is meticulously whisking batter and pouring jams into small little plates.

,, He will come when he comes,” is all she says. Then she follows it up with:. ,, By the way, his style has changed. You will be surprised.”

How? Mother wants to ask. Eha’s comment is the type of thing one says when one wants to invite more questions. Mother feels like her sister has purposefully said it to get a rise out of her. She remembers the last time she tried to pry into Jaan’s life. She had forced herself into his room when he was supposed to be coming down for breakfast and caught him masturbating. She still feels the shame in seeing what she saw, and in the lack of conversation she should have had with him. As that shame returns to her body, the questions in Mother’s mind still, and she finds herself wanting to change the subject.

,, Is your husband joining us for breakfast?” Mother asks.

Eha puts a pancake on the pan and readies another, but instead of answering Mother, she responds with her own question. ,, How is life at home going? How is Kaspar?”

,, Kaspar is fine,” Mother says. ,, But now, there is also the question of Kaspar’s mother.”

Mother puts a dry smile onto her face, but really she is getting worried. There is a lot on Mother’s mind that goes unsaid. Father was kind enough to hire a nurse to take care of her for a few hours, but Mother can’t help but think the worst of things. Will this nurse abuse her mother-in-law while no one is there to observe her? Will she do the work that is expected of her, or will she sit there and watch TV, waiting for Mother to return to get her hands dirty? Was it a good idea to take time off like this? Is it worth it, too, if Mother and her sister are simply going to be sitting here, having breakfast, like they used to in the past before Mother became so busy?

Mother looks up. Eha is looking directly at Mother this time. It is not a casual look. It’s like Eha is looking into Mother, prying something out of her, and taking the time to examine it, without Mother’s consent. Mother feels vulnerable. She winces, wondering what Eha sees.

Is Eha about to say something? It has to be something that is going to hurt.

Eha says: ,, I am proud of you, you know that?”

,, What?” Mother says, actually aloud. She clarifies: ,, What is there to be proud of?”

,, You are thinking a lot about your mother-in-law. It is not how you normally behave.”

Mother scoffs. ,, I do a lot for my family. Don’t you remember how much I did for you and your son? Or now that I am rarely here, are you forgetting?”

Eha ignores Mother and continues. ,, It is nice, all that you are doing for your husband. It’s a big sacrifice you are taking on. I don’t think I would be able to change my lifestyle like you have done. And you genuinely care for her. I know you want to complain, but I see it in your eyes. You genuinely care.”

Mother lets out a sigh. She cannot help it. She did not even know she had a sigh inside of her. She was not expecting Eha to say any of these nice things. It is like she has been punched in the stomach, but in a positive way. Her eyes are watering.

It’s been months, and everyone has gotten busy and grown apart, pulled in all the different directions that life is taking them.

But Eha, of all people, had taken the time to appreciate Mother. It makes Mother feel like all of the hard work she has done for her mother-in-law has made a difference, just like all the other times she has made sacrifices for the people she loves and cares for. Suddenly, it all feels like time and effort well spent. The clarity that only distance provides means that, for once, she is being seen by her sister. It is a distance that is worth it.

Unveiling the Power of Walking: A Pathway to Holistic Health and Wellness

The Revelation of Walking

In the domain of health and fitness, walking often remains overshadowed by more vigorous exercises. Nevertheless, it stands out as one of the most efficient methods to improve overall health. From enhancing mental clarity to boosting cardiovascular fitness and managing weight, the advantages of walking are extensive and profound.

Tailoring Your Daily Walk

Determining the ideal daily walking distance isn’t as simple as it appears. It’s not merely about adhering to a standard but about customizing your walk to suit your individual health condition and objectives:

Weight Considerations: “Heavier individuals burn more calories per mile; thus, your body weight influences how much you should walk.”

Start Gradually: For newcomers to regular exercise, commencing with manageable distances and gradually increasing both the pace and duration of your walk is crucial.

Set Clear Goals: Establish clear, attainable objectives. If weight loss is your aim, you may need to aim for longer walks.

Dietary Integration: “Integrating walking with a balanced diet is crucial. The synergy of diet and walking can accelerate your progress towards your fitness goals.”

Optimal Walking Metrics

While individual needs differ, a general guideline for those aiming to improve fitness is to target around 10,000 steps daily, equivalent to approximately 7 to 8 kilometers. This objective aligns well with burning roughly 300 to 400 calories each day, potentially resulting in a loss of about half a kilogram per week when combined with a suitable diet.

Incorporating Walking Into a Busy Schedule

In today’s fast-paced world, achieving 10,000 steps daily might seem daunting. Here’s how I integrate walking into my hectic life:

Break It Down: “Segment Your Walks: Break down the goal into smaller, more manageable walks throughout the day. This could mean a morning walk, a midday stroll, and an evening walk.”

Walk to Work: If viable, walking to work not only contributes to your step count but also energizes your morning.

Choose Stairs: “Stairs Over Elevators: Opt for the stairs whenever possible to increase calorie burn.”

Walking Meetings: Transforming catch-ups into walking meetings not only benefits physical health but can also enhance creativity and team spirit.

Monitor Progress: Utilizing a pedometer or smartphone app to monitor your steps can offer motivation and accountability.

Walking surpasses mere physical exertion; it serves as a cornerstone of wellness, supporting both the mind and body in harmonious ways. While the 10,000-step goal serves as an excellent starting point, personalizing this target to align with your unique health journey is crucial for optimal benefits. Walking is less about reaching a destination and more about savoring each step on the journey towards a healthier, more vibrant life.

Exploring India’s Economic Schism: A Journey with Amina from Poverty to Opulence

Close to the area I once called home lies one of India’s most dazzling shopping centers. During the day, the immense structure overshadows everything in its vicinity. At night, a dazzling array of lights starkly contrasts with the neighboring shops and houses, which have taken on a worn appearance from pollution and rain.

Within this grand establishment named Quest, residents of Kolkata with substantial disposable incomes indulge in luxury foreign brands like Gucci and dine at Michelin-starred restaurants.

However, life outside continues at a steady pace for individuals like my acquaintance, Amina.

She resides in a slum nestled in the shadow of Quest.

Amina embodies a statistic often mentioned yet rarely acknowledged: Approximately 60% of India’s nearly 1.3 billion inhabitants subsist on less than $3.10 per day, according to the World Bank’s median poverty line. Moreover, over 250 million people, constituting 21% of the population, survive on less than $2 per day.

Growing up as a middle-class Indian, I had limited exposure to the lives of the underprivileged. We inhabited distinct spheres, a divide that seemed to widen as India surged forward as a global economic force. While the affluent prospered, the impoverished largely remained in their dire circumstances, contributing to the expanding gap.

Presently, the wealthiest 10% in India command 80% of the nation’s wealth, as reported by Oxfam in 2017. Furthermore, the top 1% possesses 58% of the country’s wealth, in stark contrast to the United States, where the richest 1% owns 37% of the wealth.

Another illuminating perspective reveals that the wealth of 16 individuals in India equates to that of 600 million people.

These eye-opening statistics about my homeland evoke a sense of dichotomy. One facet of India showcases billionaires, technological advancements, nuclear capabilities, and democratic values. Conversely, there exists another India, inhabited by individuals like Amina, where nearly 75% of the population resides in villages, engaged in arduous labor; only 11% own refrigerators, and 35% lack basic literacy skills.

I am meeting Amina today because policymakers and journalists seldom engage with individuals like her to assess India’s progress. Quest Mall in Kolkata symbolizes India’s economic triumph, and I am curious to hear Amina’s perspective on it.

Amina and I go way back to 1998 when she began working at my parents’ residence. Each morning, she would trek from her dwelling about a mile and a half away, arriving around 10 AM to tend to household chores. Despite her age, which she claimed to be around 50 despite lacking any documentation, she exhibited remarkable resilience from years of domestic labor.

My mother held Amina in high regard, and even after my parents passed away in 2001 and I sold the flat, I made a point to visit Amina whenever I returned to Kolkata.

Over time, I learned about the challenges she faced, particularly after her husband’s passing, which left her struggling to secure steady employment due to her declining health. Despite my attempts to assist her financially, Amina insisted on earning her keep by offering services like massages or pedicures.

My frequent visits to India stem not only from my distinct upbringing but also from a deep fascination with the country’s evolution from a poverty-stricken former colony to a formidable global player.

I am mindful that Western perceptions of India often revolve around clichés such as corruption, traffic accidents, pollution, arranged marriages, and vibrant festivals. However, India’s societal landscape has evolved significantly, characterized by a burgeoning youth population, a surge in urban obesity rates, and the transformation of traditional trades due to the proliferation of the IT sector.

Such transformations necessitate constant reacquaintance with my birthplace.

Today, I am eager to reconnect with Amina and assess her well-being since our last encounter. Navigating through dim, labyrinthine alleys, I reach Amina’s modest dwelling. The air is thick with the aroma of cooking spices mingling with the acrid scent of coal-burning stoves.

Amina’s living conditions, reminiscent of those depicted in Katherine Boo’s “Beyond the Beautiful Forevers,” epitomize the struggles faced by individuals like her. Amidst scratched aluminum pots and an antiquated television set, Amina resides in a dimly lit room devoid of windows, paying a monthly rent equivalent to what she once earned at my parents’ residence.

Her room serves as a shared space for her and her grandchildren, offering a glimpse into the harsh realities endured by marginalized communities.

Economists like Devinder Sharma advocate for an alternative approach to India’s development, urging policymakers to address the systemic inequalities perpetuated by existing tax structures and government incentives that primarily benefit the affluent.

Conversely, Indian entrepreneurs attribute the widening wealth gap to systemic issues such as government corruption and inefficiency. Factors like gender, caste, and geographic location further exacerbate disparities, as highlighted by economic development expert Raj Desai.

As I engage with Amina in her humble abode, I am struck by her physical frailty, a stark contrast to her once robust demeanor. Despite her diminished mobility, Amina’s resilience remains evident as she eagerly anticipates our outing.

Accompanied by her granddaughter, Manisha, Amina ventures into an unfamiliar realm as we arrive at Quest Mall, where the dichotomy between old and new becomes palpable.

Outside the opulent mall, street vendors like Tapan Datta continue their daily routines, unfazed by the extravagant offerings within. However, our attempt to enter the mall is met with resistance from a vigilant security guard, underscoring the exclusivity of such establishments.

Inside, Amina’s astonishment at the immaculate surroundings is evident, offering a glimpse into a world previously beyond her reach. As we explore the mall, I observe the incongruity between the exorbitant price tags and Amina’s meager means, highlighting the stark disparities perpetuated by India’s economic growth.

While Amina’s inability to comprehend the astronomical prices provides a sense of relief, it also serves as a poignant reminder of the insurmountable barriers faced by individuals like her.

As we reflect on our experience, Amina’s poignant words resonate deeply, encapsulating the profound sense of resignation prevalent among marginalized communities.

Amidst academic discourse and policy debates surrounding India’s economic trajectory, Amina’s plight serves as a poignant reminder of the inherent inequities perpetuated by systemic injustices.

Despite the ongoing discourse regarding India’s economic future, the fundamental question of how to alleviate widespread poverty remains unanswered. While some advocate for progressive policies aimed at redistributing wealth, others emphasize the importance of addressing systemic issues such as education and healthcare.

As I bid farewell to Amina, her poignant words linger, serving as a testament to the enduring resilience of individuals like her amidst formidable challenges. In her world, devoid of the prospect of upward mobility, the American dream remains an elusive notion.

As I depart, I am reminded of the stark juxtaposition between luxury and deprivation, a sobering reality that underscores the urgent need for inclusive economic reforms aimed at uplifting the most vulnerable segments of society.

Solar New Year celebrations unite religious groups across the South Asian diaspora

(RNS) — For the past week, between April 9 and 15, South Asians celebrated the beginning of a new year with friends and family. Although originating in the Hindu luni-solar calendar — the Vedic auspicious month of Chaitra marks the beginning of a joyous new spring season and harvest — New Year celebrations have been adopted and adapted by religions and cultures across the Indian subcontinent.

Indians from all backgrounds celebrate according to their community’s socio-religious customs and unique calendars, from Ugadi for Telegus and Kannadigas in the southern states to the Gudi Padwa festival of western Maharashtra to the northern Assamese New Year celebration of Bohag Bihu, just to name a few.

And for those who immigrated to the United States from India, Bangladesh, Nepal or Sri Lanka, these New Year celebrations emphasize an important aspect of South Asian diasporic identity: the cultural heritage they share, rather than religious differences.

“It’s not just about crops,” said Sahej Preet Singh, a Sikh man from the northwestern state of Punjab, who moved to the United States in his 20s. “It’s not just about religion. It’s a lot more than that. It’s the culture, it’s the food, it’s that sense of belonging in the rest of the community, and all the communities coming together. It’s really about brotherhood.”

Singh, who now works as a community engagement manager for the Sikh Coalition, said that when he first immigrated, the loss of community was palpable. It was common for doors in his small town to be unlocked so friends could come and go without asking, but in an apartment in Queens, New York, he didn’t even know his neighbors. Holiday celebrations, like Vaisakhi, the New Year holiday in his Punjabi culture, have helped build a new diaspora community that is much more diverse.

“Here, you might be able to see South Indians and Marathis and Punjabis and Gujaratis all celebrating Gudi Padwa or Vaisakhi,” said Singh, who fondly remembers his mother feeding him a dessert so the New Year would start off with some sweetness.

Vaisakhi, with its colorful processions, large langar meal at the gurdwara and melodious “kirtans,” or group devotional singing, marks the start of a plentiful harvest season for the farm-heavy land of Punjab and the establishment of the Sikh faith by Guru Gobind Singh, though it was a festival time for Punjabis of all faiths.

Moving here, said Singh, who is now in upstate New York, has allowed him to better understand the commonalities between Indians and South Asians as a whole, giving him a piece of home to hold onto. The new community he has formed in the United States, he says, is a reflection of the diversity that only a place like the U.S. can bring.

“I might see somebody on the street who might not be Punjabi but they might be South Indian or Marathi or Gujurati, and I will still probably make it a point to at least nod and say hi to them,” he said. “You know, even shared iftar dinners are becoming a big deal here now.”

Naznin Seamon, a Bengali poet who moved to Queens, New York, in 1997, wants to keep religion and culture separate.

“We have so many problems, so many issues, but these cultural events, these cultural things, they actually make us open our mind,” said Seamon, a Muslim from Bangladesh. “They help us flourish, help our creativity. And it is a source of joy.”

The New Year celebration of Pohela Boishakh, celebrated by ethnic Bengali people from India and Bangladesh, has its roots in the Mughal empire, when Muslim leadership decided to switch from the Arabic lunar calendar to the Hindu solar agricultural calendar to better reflect the harvesting of crops, thus marking a new tax cycle and accounting year.

Some of Seamon’s fondest memories from Bangladesh, she says, were made during her town’s Pohela Boishakh festivities. She would look forward every year to donning a typical white and red sari, with bindi and flowers in her hair, to attend a colorful fair where she got to ride a Ferris wheel and look at photographs in a ViewMaster. Bengali Muslims and Hindus would sell their goods, including homemade animal masks that would be worn at a parade.

Though some would pray to Hindu gods for a bountiful and prosperous harvest, Pohela Boishakh is for all, Seamon says, despite a growing charge by some Muslim religious fundamentalists to discourage the sharing of a holiday they say is rooted in Hinduism.

“To celebrate any culture. I don’t have to follow that religion,” said Seamon, who is also a high school teacher. In Queens, she says the Bengali population is ever-growing, so much that she now teaches Bangla and is in charge of the Bangla Student Association at her school. The idea of celebrating Pohela Boishakh with her students, she says, is not only for them to “get off their phones,” but to appreciate the diversity of their parents’ homelands.

“Just because we came to a different country and we have so many opportunities doesn’t mean that I have to forget my own roots,” she said. “Coming to a new country is adapting and accepting, not changing my own identity, because every culture is beautiful in its own way.”

Kathirvel Kumararaja, a Hindu from Tamil Nadu in the south of India, is also seeking to help diaspora children take pride in their origins. He is the president of the more than 50-year-old New York Tamil Sangam — the first community organization for the ethnic and linguistic group in North America. The platform is for the “global Tamil community,” which stretches from India to Southeast Asia, to “share pride in belonging.”

“Starting from Indra Nooyi, Sundar Pichai, to the vice president of America, Kamala Harris — they’re all Tamils and come from the same tradition,” said Kumararaja, who is also the chair for the International Tamil Entrepreneur Network. “Starbucks CEO, FedEx CEO, you name it, they’re all Tamils. These kids have so many role models in society.”

Puthandu, the New Year holiday marking the beginning of the Tamil calendar and month of Chitterai, is a time for family, according to Kumararaja, who is married to a Tamil Christian. Kids and parents arise at the same time, laying eyes on a mirror in which they can see an abundant tray of fruits, flowers and coins, as well as a dish of raw mango, tamarind, jaggery and neem leaf, which they eat “just to show that life is sweet and sour.” Everyone prays together, seeks blessing from their elders and eats typical Tamil delicacies to bring in a prosperous beginning.

And importantly, the holiday is a public observance back home for all Tamil people, whether they are of Hindu, Christian or Muslim background. Like other ethnic New Years, including Chinese New Year, he says, many people don’t necessarily look at the Scriptures to find a reason to celebrate. It is a joyous time for all, reflected in his New York organization’s celebration with musical performances from popular Tamil singers.

“Typically, acculturation happens in American society in the name of freedom,” he said. The community festivals, he said, are one way to “show our kids what our culture is about and what are the values that we as Tamils represent. We don’t have to be shy about our culture or identity.”

Appen Menon, a board of trustees member for the Kerala Center of New York, understands this multi-religiosity. Hailing from the southern state of Kerala, where Christianity and Islam are widely practiced, Menon’s organization is no stranger to hosting combined cultural and religious events, like Easter and Vishu celebration.

“It’s a great feeling that we have people from diverse backgrounds from Kerala here, and we all celebrate all the celebrations including religious holidays together,” said Menon. “Although we are away from home, we found a home here.”

Vishu, the New Year holiday of Malayali Hindus marking the defeat of demon Narakasura by Lord Krishna, begins before dawn, when devotees make sure to lay their eyes on an idol of Krishna and a plate of abundance first thing after they wake up. Families then bathe, eat a sweet dish, go to the temple and finish the celebration with a sumptuous lunch feast.

While the scale of celebration cannot be the same in the U.S. as it is in Kerala, Menon, an attorney, says there are still benefits from forming new traditions. He and his family never celebrated Diwali, the well-known Hindu festival of light, in the same festive way of North Indians, but here, they are able to join in.

“While you’re in India, you know, you don’t see too many people from other states,” he said. “You see mostly people from Kerala and you are not exposed to those kinds of celebrations. Here, we are. And in a big way or small way, we also participate.”

After a delicious feast made by his wife, which he says he “can claim he helped with,” Menon says it’s time for a nap and a reflection on the new year.

“Back in India, when I was growing up, I didn’t know too much Hindi,” he said. “But I heard this phrase: ‘Alag bhasha, alag vesh, phir bhi apna ek desh.’”

Different language, different dress, still a country of our own.

Global Study Reveals Alarming Rise in Cyberbullying Among Adolescents: Urgent Calls for Action

An international study has revealed that nearly one in six adolescents have encountered cyberbullying, with an increase in such incidents among school-aged children since the onset of the pandemic, as reported by the World Health Organization (WHO). Conducted across 44 countries and regions, the study involved over 279,000 young participants. In Wales, where approximately 37,000 youths were surveyed, 17% reported being victims of cyberbullying. The Health Behaviour in School-aged Children (HBSC) survey indicates a rise in the proportion of adolescents experiencing cyberbullying since 2018, with figures climbing from 12% to 15% for boys and from 13% to 16% for girls.

England and Scotland also witnessed alarming rates of cyberbullying among their youth. In England, out of over 4,200 respondents, nearly one in five (19%) disclosed being cyberbullied at least once or twice in recent months, with 11% admitting to perpetrating cyberbullying themselves. Similarly, in Scotland, where more than 4,300 young individuals participated, 18% reported experiencing cyberbullying, while 11% acknowledged engaging in cyberbullying behavior.

The report underscores an “urgent need” to enhance awareness among young people, families, and educational institutions regarding the various forms of cyberbullying and its consequences. Dr. Hans Henri P. Kluge, WHO’s regional director for Europe, emphasized the heightened prevalence of cyberbullying amidst the COVID-19 pandemic, as social interactions shifted predominantly online during lockdowns. He stressed the imperative of addressing virtual forms of peer violence to safeguard the health and well-being of adolescents and young individuals. With youths spending significant amounts of time online daily, even minor fluctuations in bullying rates can significantly impact their overall health and well-being, warranting comprehensive action to combat cyberbullying as both a health and human rights concern.

Sarah Hannafin, a senior policy adviser for the NAHT school leaders’ union, expressed deep concern over the escalating rates of cyberbullying among children. She highlighted the pervasive nature of online bullying, which can occur anytime and anywhere, underscoring that schools alone cannot tackle the issue. Hannafin urged swift and effective implementation of the Online Safety Act by the government, emphasizing the crucial role of social media platforms in providing a safe online environment.

Responding to these concerns, a spokesperson for the UK government reiterated their commitment to making the UK the safest place for children online through the Online Safety Act. The act mandates companies to take decisive measures to protect children from harmful content, illegal activities, and abuse, including cyberbullying. Non-compliant companies risk facing fines of up to 10% of their global annual revenue, potentially amounting to billions of pounds.

Finland Retains Title as World’s Happiest Country; Denmark Follows Close Behind

Finland has once again secured the top position on the annual ranking of the happiest countries globally, marking its seventh consecutive year in this esteemed spot. The ranking, curated by the World Happiness Report, is determined by factors such as self-assessed life evaluations and responses to the Cantril ladder question, which prompts individuals to rate their current lives on a scale from 0 to 10, with 10 representing the best possible life for them.

The report, compiled by the Wellbeing Research Centre at the University of Oxford, assesses over 130 countries, taking into account variables such as GDP per capita, social support, healthy life expectancy, freedom, generosity, and freedom from corruption. While the top ten countries have remained relatively stable, the top 20 witnessed some changes, with Costa Rica and Kuwait ascending to the 12th and 13th positions, respectively, while the United States and Germany dropped out of the top 20 entirely, with the U.S. sliding from 15th to 23rd place this year.

Among the top ten happiest nations, only the Netherlands and Australia boast populations exceeding 15 million, while in the top 20, only Canada and the U.K. surpass 30 million inhabitants.

Finnland maintains its lead as the happiest country globally, scoring 7.741. Frank Martela, a Finnish philosopher and psychology researcher, attributes the nation’s happiness to its strong sense of community, altruistic behaviors, and individuals finding a clear purpose for themselves. Martela suggests that it might be more precise to say that Finland harbors the fewest unhappy individuals worldwide.

Finnland’s excellence extends beyond happiness rankings, as evidenced by its performance in education, work-life balance, environmental quality, social connections, safety, and life satisfaction, according to the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development (OECD) Better Life Index. The country also boasts a life expectancy at birth of approximately 82 years, with women outliving men by an average of six years. Moreover, 96% of Finns believe they have someone reliable to lean on in times of need, as per the OECD Better Life Index.

Denmark secures the second spot on the happiness index with a score of 7.583. The nation’s high ranking is attributed, in part, to its commitment to equality and social welfare responsibilities, according to its official website. These factors are closely associated with happiness, according to the World Happiness Report.

Despite Denmark’s reputation for imposing some of the world’s highest taxes, which can reach up to half of an individual’s income, the benefits counterbalance the costs. The country offers free healthcare, subsidized childcare, tuition-free education for university students along with grants to cover expenses, and pensions for the elderly coupled with caregiver support.

According to the OECD Better Life Index, Denmark surpasses the global average in various domains including employment, education, healthcare, environmental quality, social connections, civic engagement, and life satisfaction. Additionally, Denmark holds membership in prominent international organizations such as the OECD and NATO.

Extravagant Pre-Wedding Bash Unites Billionaires, Bollywood, and Rihanna in Indian Splendor

If the golf courses appeared a bit less populated this weekend, it’s likely because some of the world’s wealthiest individuals gathered for the pre-wedding festivities of Anant Ambani and Radhika Merchant in the Indian city of Jamnagar. The son of billionaire Mukesh Ambani, Anant, is set to marry Radhika this summer, marking an opulent celebration that rivals those of his siblings. The event boasted a Rihanna performance, an extensive dress code spanning nine pages, and notable personalities such as Mark Zuckerberg.

The Nuptial Couple:

Anant Ambani, the youngest scion of Mukesh Ambani, and Radhika Merchant are set to tie the knot. Mukesh, the ninth-richest person globally and the wealthiest in Asia, heads Reliance Industries, a conglomerate with interests in oil, textiles, telecommunications, and entertainment. Radhika, hailing from a wealthy background herself, is the daughter of Viren Merchant, CEO of Encore Healthcare.

Star-Studded Guest List:

The celebration played host to a guest list that read like a who’s who of the business world, featuring renowned figures such as Bill Gates, Google CEO Sundar Pichai, and Disney CEO Bob Iger. Notably, Rihanna graced the event with a performance for which she reportedly received around $9 million. Other attendees included David Blaine, Bollywood stars Shah Rukh Khan and Amitabh Bachchan, and even Ivanka Trump (though Hillary Clinton’s attendance remained uncertain).

Historical Precedent:

This extravagant celebration follows in the footsteps of Anant’s elder siblings. Isha Ambani’s wedding in 2018 featured a performance by Beyoncé, while her twin brother’s nuptials in 2019 included a pre-wedding bash with Coldplay and the Chainsmokers. It seems being an Ambani guarantees a musical extravaganza.

Rihanna’s Showstopper:

Videos circulating online suggest that Rihanna’s performance was nothing short of spectacular. The singer performed hits like “Work,” “Bitch Better Have My Money,” and “Stay,” making it a night to remember for the guests.

Beyond Business:

Amidst lavish dinners featuring 500 dishes prepared by 100 chefs, the festivities took a philanthropic turn with a visit to an animal-rescue center run by Reliance. Anant, known for his passion for animals, has transformed the center into a haven for rescued animals, including one of the world’s largest elephant hospitals.

The dress code for various events spanned nine pages, incorporating themes like “jungle fever” and traditional Indian garb. Guests were treated to a visually stunning array of outfits, with Mark Zuckerberg’s flashy attire drawing attention and Bill Gates donning a tasteful Champagne-colored Jodhpuri suit for his first Indian wedding experience.

Ivanka Trump’s Instagram Chronicles:

Ivanka Trump, not one to miss an opportunity, shared multiple Instagram posts showcasing her various outfits and providing glimpses into the festivities. One notable post featured a high-speed Ferris wheel, sparking curiosity about the unconventional entertainment at the event.

Steaming Sartorial Solutions

Even amidst such grandeur, practical details surfaced. The dress code included a directive for a three-hour turnaround time for clothes requiring steaming, with a firm note emphasizing the feasibility of adhering to this timeline. The laundry team, it seems, established clear boundaries even in the midst of such opulence.

In essence, the pre-wedding celebration of Anant Ambani and Radhika Merchant emerged as a fusion of extravagance, star power, and philanthropy, leaving an indelible mark on the annals of opulent matrimonial festivities.

Flaunting Wealth Amidst Global Crisis: Inside the Lavish Ambani Pre-Wedding Extravaganza

They argue that while money can’tpurchase affection, it can undoubtedly fund a lavish pre-wedding extravaganza. The world’s elite are presently recuperating from a three-day spectacle in India celebrating the imminent marriage of Anant Ambani, the youngest offspring of Asia’s wealthiest individual.

The celebration, reportedly priced at $120 million, epitomized extravagance: it boasted a detailed nine-page attire guideline, an exclusive performance by Rihanna, and a banquet that even Nero might have deemed excessive.

“Twenty-one chefs concocted ’75 types of dishes for breakfast, more than 225 types of dishes for lunch, 275 types of dishes for dinner, and 85 types of items … [for] the midnight meal,'” elaborated the Times of India. The aim was to ensure that none of the guests, among them Mark Zuckerberg, Ivanka Trump, and Bill Gates, would experience the indignity of eating the same meal twice.

While the notion of outrageously affluent individuals indulging in exorbitant activities isn’t novel, the conspicuousness of the Ambani pre-wedding gala is noteworthy. It was so extravagant that even the Daily Mail, not typically associated with leftist views, penned a dismayed article highlighting that the lavish celebrations occurred “just yards from where some of the poorest people on earth eke out a living.”

Flaunting Wealth Amidst Global Crisis Inside the Lavish Ambani Pre Wedding Extravaganza

The stark contrast between multimillion-dollar feasts and Gujarati slums wasn’t the sole disconcerting aspect of the event. In recent times, there has been a noticeable shift towards “stealth wealth” or “quiet luxury.” The ultra-rich have opted for more understated displays of their immense wealth, signaling affluence through subtle status symbols rather than ostentatious labels. However, the Ambani festivities deviated from this trend, representing a bold return to the overt excess and conspicuous consumption reminiscent of the 1980s.

Admittedly, the Ambani family has never adhered to the understated luxury trend. They have consistently flaunted their wealth. For instance, in 2018, Beyoncé performed at Isha Ambani’s pre-wedding festivities—an affair estimated to cost around $100 million. Moreover, the family resides in Antilia, a 27-story tower recognized as the world’s first billion-dollar residence. This is no ordinary mansion; it boasts three helipads, a 168-car garage, and a snow room for cooling down amid artificial snowflakes. With nine elevators, it epitomizes opulence. “This is a gated community in the sky,” remarked author Gyan Prakash as Antilia was constructed overlooking Mumbai’s slums. “It is in a way reflective of how the rich are turning their faces away from the city.”

Nevertheless, while the Ambanis have always flaunted their wealth, this wedding signifies a shift in societal trends. It wasn’t just the bride and groom embracing ostentation; even figures like Zuckerberg and his wife Priscilla Chan, who have championed philanthropy and advocated for a more equitable world, didn’t hesitate to display their materialistic inclinations. A viral video captured the couple admiring the groom’s $1 million Richard Mille watch. “This watch is fantastic,” exclaimed Chan. “That’s soo cool!”Flaunting Wealth Amidst Global Crisis Inside the Lavish Ambani Pre Wedding Extravaganza

Zuckerberg concurred, adding, “You know, I never really wanted to get a watch, but after seeing that, I was like, ‘Watches are cool.'”

The tech mogul wasn’t the only one attracting attention. Bill Gates, also vocal about his intentions to address global issues, shared a video featuring the internet-famous tea-seller Dolly Chaiwala serving him tea. While Gates likely intended it as a lighthearted celebration of innovation, it exuded uncomfortable colonial undertones.

Inequality, exacerbated by the pandemic, has reached unprecedented levels, with the wealth chasm continuing to widen. As Oxfam recently observed, we inhabit a “decade of division,” with successive crises accentuating the gap between the oligarchic few and the vast majority. Are these oligarchs not concerned about flaunting their wealth in front of the masses? Are they oblivious to the optics of reveling in luxury while even middle-class Americans struggle to put food on the table? They’ve undoubtedly been cautioned about the optics of inequality. At a London event last year, members of the global elite were warned of a “real risk of actual insurrection” if inequality persisted, and they were advised to be wary of “pitchforks and torches.”

However, if the flamboyance of the Ambani pre-wedding affair signifies anything, it’s that those born into privilege aren’t particularly perturbed by the prospect of public backlash. And why should they be? They possess underground doomsday bunkers to retreat to if things go awry. The Ambani spectacle appears to herald the demise of stealth wealth, signaling that billionaires no longer feel compelled to feign concern about inequality and are shamelessly embracing ostentatious luxury. Once again, the 1,200-person soirée was merely a prelude to the grand event in July—only time will tell what extravagant measures they’ll undertake or how the wedding could possibly surpass the pre-party. We mere mortals can only anticipate and speculate.

 

The Thirteenth Vision (21 February, 2024)

This is the real world. This is the world that Mother knows.

She is inside her home. It is a two-story cottage in Toledo, a town of Castilla La Mancha. The town encircles a hill. The houses are egg-shell yellow or dove white and covered with brick-coloured roof tiles. Her home sits on the top of a lane curving up to the Alcázar.

Mother is in her bed, opening her eyes. She goes to the window and opens her curtains, seeing the hazy clouds and the Tagus river underneath, as well as the sharp green cliffs on the other side.

She had dreamt she was on top of a horse in Mongolia just now.

Su vida ahora tiene que ser la realidad. No es una ilusión.

She yawns and stretches, still in the pants and shirt she sleeps in. She goes for a shower, then gets herself ready to go downstairs.

As she passes the hallway into the kitchen, she notices someone right by the wooden table. It is her mother-in-law, sitting in her wheelchair. This is more and more of a sign that Mother cannot be in a dream. She remembers the day her mother-in-law was moved into her house. Was it a week ago? Was it two? Certainly, the way her husband and his two brothers had bickered, that could not have been an illusion. They had been shouting so loudly that she could hear them on the second floor while doing her prayers. When she came downstairs, their hands and arms were flailing in the air, gesticulating with passion their shared concern for their mother that had led each of them to a separate conclusion.

She must come home. She must stay with me. We will take care of her.

That was what her husband felt despite what his brothers had said. And so her mother-in-law was now staying at home with them as they tried to improve her medical state.

Mother tries to shake herself awake. Why is her mother-in-law downstairs by herself? There she is, sitting in her wheelchair, her mouth stuck in a smile, staring not at any person but deeply at the wall. Mother’s husband, Pedro, must have taken her in her wheelchair up and down the cobblestones to show her around the town before leaving to go to the hospital. It is only around six in the morning. Pedro must have left ten minutes ago. He trusts Mother to help him with the rest of his mother’s needs. This includes cleaning out her diaper, bathing her from head to toe, and feeding her by spoon the gazpacho or paella she makes for lunch.

This is not a dream. This is very much reality.

Mother suddenly shivers. She feels like she is in the middle of the tundra, but how can she feel this cold when she’s indoors and the heater is on? She feels like she has horse hair stuck to her pants, but when she picks it up, the hairs are grey and blond, clearly hers. She could have sworn she was in the middle of doing something, and it wasn’t cooking or cleaning.

I was about to realise something, and it was important…

« Oye… oye… ¿me escuchas?»

Is that her mother-in-law speaking? First of all, the dementia has been strong for the last year. If her mother-in-law speaks, which happens at random moments, it usually isn’t anything comprehensible, just a word here or there followed by a few sentences that don’t cohere to what was previously said.

The voice is also not coming from that side of the room. It’s almost like it is coming from somewhere underneath her. How is that possible? There is nothing below her other than the floor tiles they installed a few years ago…

« Oye… oye… ¿me escuchas? »

This is clearly a man’s voice. Mother is now scared. She reaches for the knife nearest to her, the one she normally uses to cut peaches and apples. The rough gesture frightens her mother-in-law, who gasps and looks about, as if she has been suddenly awoken from whatever dream world she was living in. What a beautiful thing, to live in a dream. Mother is almost jealous of her mother-in-law’s innocence, but only for a moment. Mother fears getting older and slowly losing her mind.

In a bid to console her mother-in-law, Mother comes to her side and tries to pat her arm.

« Suegra… no te asustas, por favor »

Her mother-in-law looks like she is about to cry. Teardrops are forming under her eyes. She is trying to lift a finger, like she is about to point somewhere behind Mother. She always does this regardless of what’s going on, but this time Mother wants to turn around. She brandishes the knife and faces the other side.

There is nothing. No one. It’s just the corridor that leads towards the living room, and a window facing the cliffs. Mother holds the knife firmly but considers putting it back on the table. She remembers she should be cutting some fruit for breakfast. It is difficult for her mother-in-law to chew apples, so Mother mashes them and feeds them to her mother-in-law via a spoon, like she would a little boy.

« Oye… you need to look below, not behind… »

Right on the tiles is the upper half of a man’s body. The man is wearing armour from the Medieval era. He has a sharp pointed goatee, and the two tips of his moustache curl upwards.

« ¿Quien eres tú? » Mother shouts. He cannot be human. His body is literally bifurcated by the floor. And yet when Mother stares firmly, she sees the rest of him. He is sitting up, lying on a bed, with the covers partially on top of him. He looks almost exactly like how Mother must look when she wakes up. Even the lower part of his body is in pyjamas, and the covers of his bed resemble hers.

« ¿Quien eres tú? » Mother asks again. « ¿And why are you on my bed? ¿How are you on my bed? ¿Who are you? »

« Tantas preguntas » the man complains. He rolls his eyes at Mother, then closes them, as if he would rather be sleeping. « I used to have all of these questions arise to me in my dreams. ¿Where is my Dulcinea? ¿What has happened to Sancho? ¿And who are you? ¿Who are you? Ultimately, it never mattered. I acted and made a lot of mistakes and embarrassed myself. And now here I am, lying here for eternity, known to the world as a fool. I just lie in bed and hide under the covers. If I had known back then that everything I believed in was an illusion, I would have never done what I did. »

Mother takes a few steps back. The fingers that are holding the knife are quivering. She has to concentrate to make sure she doesn’t drop it. Mother’s bottom lip wobbles.

The man carries on: « But then would I take it back? I acted as I did because I believed it. Belief is such a strong emotion. We do everything with the conviction that it is right, but most of the time, when we are in that state of mind, we do so much wrong. »

Mother would nod if she had the composure to do so. She sees a bit of herself in the man’s reflections, and the pit of feeling in the centre of her chest is aching, as what tends to happen whenever a truth is said and one is unprepared to deal with it.

« And yet the world is turning, the turns are turning. The world is like one giant windmill, and we are trying to catch on to it. »

The man laughs peculiarly, taking Mother out of the pain she is feeling. She now feels irate, annoyed, and confused. She wants to take the knife and cut the man right at the point where the tiles are reflecting the bed, to make the illusion dissipate like fog.

The man pulls at his moustache, twisting the hairs into an even finer upward curl. He looks at Mother and contracts his eyebrows.

« Life itself is a farce. We call something madness when we think it’s close to the odd, but in reality, being so fixed in how we should live life is a madness itself. What is wrong with dreaming? I lived my entire life as a dream, and the world made fun of me for it. And yet because I was willing to live this way, many others came after me and made a fool of themselves as well. People call such fools heroes. They make stories about them, they erect statues of them, they memorialise them, as time goes on and on. »

The man stifles a laugh, and then turns his eyes to meet Mother’s.

Mother turns away to face the wall, but the man’s half-body is coming out of the beige paint. Mother turns towards the kitchen, only the man is appearing out of the sink. Mother suddenly worries about her mother-in-law. Mother turns to face her, but she is facing the man instead, who is now sitting in the wheelchair, but also on the bed, as if it were an image pasted all around the wheelchair’s frames.

How is it that she can’t escape this man? He has become a part of everything she sees. She doesn’t have the time for this. It’s already getting late, the sun which was starting to rise is now full in the sky. She has to get on with washing and feeding her mother-in-law. If this apparition wasn’t disturbing her, she would have been in the midst of her prayers by now.

Mother closes her eyes and wishes, Dios, denounce this devil and leave me in peace.

She opens her eyes and sees he is still in front of her.

« You cannot get rid of me yet, dear. I am in front of you for a reason. I’m here to propose to you an adventure. It is an adventure far greater than the one I have undertaken. For though I have slayed many a knight and rescued many a damsel, it was only at the end of my journey that I realised anything about myself. You, my dear, have the gift of taking such a journey after countless others have tried and failed. You can start already knowing something a bit about yourself. You can start having already learned from our failures. And deep down, dear, you are far less in the fantasy than I ever was. I think you already know what you need to work on. »

The man touches Mother in the middle of her chest, and as if she is a pool stuck in stillness, she feels something inside of her ripple.

« You were dreaming for a reason. »

Mother looks at her mother-in-law, remembers the feeling of annoyance of having someone intrude on the schedule of her day. There are so many people and existences suffering on the planet, but Mother has not done anything for them. Mother has been extremely inactive. She wanders in her mind, she wanders in the four corners of her house. She has only lived her life while waiting for her life to end.

Perhaps she could use an adventure to take her closer to her destiny.

Mother suddenly imagines her son kissing another man, and her heart fills with disgust.

The man says:

« Do you want to leave this dream, to become disillusioned like I have? You have the chance to keep dreaming, to reach the heights I could only imagine reaching. »

Mother shakes her head.

The man smiles and extends his hand.

Unlocking Lasting Happiness: How Strategic Spending Can Transform Your Well-being

For years, the prevailing belief has been that money cannot buy happiness. Although money may solve certain issues, studies have revealed that material possessions only provide temporary satisfaction before losing their appeal. Nonetheless, recent research suggests that spending money in particular ways can have a positive impact on one’s well-being.

“Scientifically-backed purchases aligned with personal values can lead to more sustained joy,” the article explains. It emphasizes the importance of not just purchasing items but being deliberate about expenditures that enhance life, foster connections, and promote personal growth. By exerting some effort and engaging in self-reflection, individuals can cultivate a fulfilling and purposeful existence.

The article delves into seven categories of purchases scientifically linked to heightened happiness. It aims to provide insight into how to invest meaningfully in emotional health by supporting the suggestions with research, real-life examples, and practical tips.

1.Prioritize Experiences Over Material Possessions

Research consistently shows that investing in experiences such as travel, courses, or cultural events leads to longer-lasting happiness compared to material purchases. While people quickly adapt to new possessions like gadgets or clothing, experiences contribute to shaping one’s identity and often involve social connections.

“Choose experiential purchases that resonate with your core interests and values for maximum fulfillment,” advises the article. For instance, instead of splurging on the latest iPhone, consider taking a Mediterranean cooking class. Not only does this activity build self-confidence, but it also offers an enjoyable social experience with lasting joy.

2.Allocate Resources for Quality Time with Loved Ones

Human beings inherently crave social connections, which significantly contribute to happiness and well-being. Therefore, spending money to strengthen bonds with friends and family is considered a wise investment. Purchases that facilitate meaningful interactions and togetherness often result in shared laughter, joy, and comfort.

The article suggests considering activities that loved ones enjoy when making purchases to promote quality time. For example, rather than dining out at an expensive restaurant, opt for a potluck meal where everyone shops for ingredients together and prepares dishes collectively. This shared experience fosters deeper connections and lasting memories.

3.Support an Active Lifestyle

Regular exercise not only provides physical benefits but also boosts mental well-being by releasing endorphins that elevate mood. Investing in equipment and gear that supports an active lifestyle can reduce anxiety, alleviate depression, and increase energy levels. Outdoor activities further enhance mood by exposing individuals to sunlight and boosting vitamin D levels.

“Consider purchasing a bike, running shoes, or home workout equipment tailored to your interests,” suggests the article. Instead of buying more electronics or clothing, engaging in activities like biking along local trails or walking while listening to audiobooks can contribute to mood-enhancing movement.

4.Enhance Sleep Quality

Quality sleep is essential for allowing the brain and body to recharge, process information, and regulate emotions. Poor sleep can significantly impact focus, decision-making, immunity, and mental health. Investing in bedroom upgrades such as new mattresses, weighted blankets, and blackout curtains can improve sleep quality.

For instance, upgrading bedding with high thread count sheets, breathable comforters, and ergonomic pillows can create a luxurious sleep environment. Blocking external light with thick curtains can mimic natural melatonin rhythms and promote better sleep.

5.Invest in Personal Growth and Self-Care

Spending on personal development focuses on internal growth, healing, and learning, ultimately leading to a sense of purpose and accomplishment. Whether it’s furthering education, indulging in spa treatments, or seeking therapy, investing in self-improvement can boost confidence and overall well-being.

“Sign up for activities like a wine-tasting class, a shiatsu massage, or watercolor painting lessons to indulge your inner self,” suggests the article. Balancing physical pampering with intellectual or skill growth can lead to a more well-rounded identity and a greater sense of fulfillment.

Affordable Excellence: A Guide to 10 Outstanding Scotch Whiskies Under $60

Scotch whisky enthusiasts understand the magic that unfolds in the $50 to $60 price range. This sweet spot offers a more refined and special experience, with a tantalizing depth in oak, craftsmanship, and flavor diversity. In this entry-level arena for most Scotch whisky brands, we’ve curated a list of 10 exceptional bottles, all under $60, readily available at most liquor stores. Keep in mind that Scotch whisky prices can fluctuate due to factors such as import tariffs and shipping fees, and regional variations may also play a role in pricing.

  1. Glenfiddich Single Malt Scotch Whisky Aged 12 Years

ABV: 40%

Average Price: $50

Tasting Notes:

Nose: Creamy like vanilla pudding, bright pear orchard vibe, mild toffee, sweetgrass, and hints of oak.

Palate: Soft woodiness, candied pear, vanilla cream, soft cinnamon spice, and gentle malts.

Finish: Light and approachable with lingering pear, vanilla cream, mild spice, and a silken mouthfeel.

This entry-level Speyside whisky, aged in a blend of American and European oak, boasts a creamy vanilla pudding nose with notes of pear, toffee, and mild oak. The palate offers soft woodiness, candied pear, and a touch of cinnamon spice, leading to a light and approachable finish with a silken mouthfeel.

  1. Laphroaig Islay Single Malt Scotch Whisky Select

ABV: 40%

Average Price: $56

Tasting Notes:

Nose: Red fruit, plums, nuts, and peated maltiness.

Palate: Fruity with mild spice, Ace bandages, smoked salts, and malt.

Finish: Lingering fruit and wood with a distant wisp of smoke and Band-Aid.

Crafted by Master Distiller John Campbell, this Laphroaig whisky showcases the diversity of casking processes, with a nose featuring red fruit, plums, and peated maltiness. The palate offers a fruity, mildly spicy experience, with a finish marrying fruit, wood, and a subtle smokiness.

  1. Bruichladdich The Classic Laddie Scottish Barley Unpeated Islay Single Malt Scotch Whisky

ABV: 50%

Average Price: $53

Tasting Notes:

Nose: Wildflowers, granola bars, brine, salted caramel, orange oils, and softwood.

Palate: Seaspray, tart apples, Caro syrup mid-palate sweetness.

Finish: Sweet oak dominates, fading into a spicy malt with sea salt.

Bruichladdich’s unique philosophy shines in this unpeated whisky with a nose of wildflowers, brine, and salted caramel. The palate delivers seaspray, tart apples, and a sweet oak finish with a touch of spice, making it a great choice on the rocks or in whisky-forward cocktails.

  1. Highland Park Single Malt Scotch Whisky 12 Years Old

ABV: 40%

Average Price: $53

Tasting Notes:

– Nose: Rich holiday cake with dark spices, dried fruits, candied citrus, nuts, and a hint of smoke.

– Palate: Fragrant honey, sweet texture, and a touch of sweetness.

– Finish: Chimney smoke on a snowy day, connecting peated malt and dark bourbon.

– Hailing from Scotland’s far north Orkney Islands, this unique whisky offers a nose of rich holiday cake and a palate with fragrant honey and sweet texture. The finish, reminiscent of chimney smoke on a snowy day, bridges the gap between peated malt and dark bourbon.

  1. The Balvenie Single Malt Scotch Whisky DoubleWood Aged 12 Years

ABV: 43%

Average Price: $59

Tasting Notes:

– Nose: Soft and floral honey, vanilla extract, red berries, and wine-soaked oak.

– Palate: Marzipan, cinnamon, plum trees, tree bark, and leather.

– Finish: Spicy malt, hot cinnamon, and honey tobacco.

– Pioneering the “double aging” trend, this unpeated single malt offers a nose of floral honey and red berries. The palate meanders through marzipan, cinnamon, and plum trees, culminating in a finish with spicy malt and honey tobacco.

  1. Chivas XV Blended Scotch Whisky

ABV: 40%

Average Price: $50

Tasting Notes:

– Nose: Orange marmalade, cinnamon, clove, and mincemeat pies.

– Palate: Dark dried fruits, soft berries, butterscotch, and caramel-laced toffees.

– Finish: Lush and creamy with vanilla, mincemeat pie, brandy-soaked dates, and Christmas pudding.

– A classic Chivas blend aged for 15 years, this whisky delights with a nose of orange marmalade and mincemeat pies. The palate unfolds with dark dried fruits, soft berries, and a creamy, lush finish, making it perfect for sipping on the rocks or in cocktails.

  1. Aberlour Speyside Single Malt Scotch Whisky Double Cask Matured Aged 12 Years

– ABV: 40%

– Average Price: $59

– *Original Tasting Notes:*

– Nose: Brandy-soaked orange peels, almonds, sweet sherry, vanilla creaminess, and a hint of chocolate.

– Palate: Bitter and creamy chocolate, brandy-soaked orange, pear, cherry, and marzipan nuttiness.

– Finish: Stewed fruits, soft tobacco, and vanilla creaminess.

– *Paraphrased:*

– A cornerstone whisky for brands like Chivas, this soft unpeated single malt offers a nose of brandy-soaked orange peels and almonds. The palate features bitter chocolate, brandy-soaked fruit, and a finish with stewed fruits and vanilla creaminess.

  1. Ardbeg An Oa Islay Single Malt Scotch Whisky

– ABV: 46.6%

– Average Price: $54

Tasting Notes:

– Nose: Slow-smoked peaches, cherrywood, smoky savory herbs, and black licorice.

– Palate: Butteriness, burnt toffee, nutmeg, walnut, Earl Grey, and woody maple syrup.

– Finish: Salted black licorice, florals, singed savory herbs, and black-pepper-covered brisket fat.

– A quintessential Islay peated whisky, this Ardbeg expression features slow-smoked peaches and savory herbs on the nose. The palate is buttery with burnt toffee and nutmeg, leading to a finish with black licorice, florals, and a hint of smoked brisket fat.

 

  1. Glenmorangie Highland Single Malt Scotch Whisky “The Lasanta” Aged 12 Years

– ABV: 43%

– Average Price: $52

-Tasting Notes:

– Nose: Subtle spice, creamy toffee malts, honey, brandied berries, and vanilla tobacco.

– Palate: Dried fruit, leather, nuttiness, spicy orange, and dark chocolate.

– Finish: Creamy vanilla, marzipan, brandied pear, and dark dried berries.

– Glenmorangie’s 12-year-old expression boasts a nose of subtle spice and creamy toffee malts. The palate offers dried fruit and nuttiness, with a finish highlighting creamy vanilla and brandied pear, creating an easygoing sipper.

  1. Oban Little Bay Single Malt Scotch Whisky Small Cask

– ABV: 43%

– Average Price: $57

– Tasting Notes:

– Nose: Smoked prunes, plums, dates, creamy malts, walnut bread, and orange saltwater taffy.

– Palate: Clove-studded oranges, malted vanilla, saltwater taffy, stewed pear, brandy, and spiced nutty apple cake.

– Finish: Spiced nutty apple cake with a buttery crumble along a damp wooden pier.

– This Highland whisky from Oban, aged in small casks, presents a nose of smoked prunes and creamy malts. The palate features clove-studded oranges, saltwater taffy, and a finish reminiscent of spiced nutty apple cake along a damp wooden pier.

 

These 10 outstanding Scotch whiskies under $60 offer a diverse range of flavors and profiles, making them accessible to both novices and seasoned enthusiasts. Whether you prefer the bold peatiness of Islay or the refined sweetness of Speyside, this selection provides a delightful journey through the world of Scotch whisky without breaking the bank.

Inside the Staggering Wealth of the World’s Richest Family: The Al Nahyan Dynasty

The Al Nahyan royal family, rulers of the Emirate of Abu Dhabi, has secured its position as the wealthiest family globally, boasting a staggering fortune of $305 billion (Rs 25,38,667 crore) as of 2023. This places them ahead of the heirs of Walmart Inc., whose net worth totals $232.2 billion (Rs 19,31,374 crore), according to a report by Bloomberg.

Led by the influential United Arab Emirates (UAE) President Sheikh Mohamed bin Zayed Al Nahyan, commonly known as MBZ, the Al Nahyan family holds approximately six percent of the world’s oil reserves. Their strategic investments span various industries, from Rihanna’s lingerie line Savage X Fenty to Elon Musk’s SpaceX, as highlighted in The New Yorker.

One of the key figures in their financial empire is UAE National Security Adviser Sheikh Tahnoon, also known as Tahnoun bin Zayed Al Nahyan. He heads the International Holding Co., an investment company whose value has surged almost 28,000 percent in the last five years, reaching a market value estimated at around $235 billion, making it one of the largest firms in the Middle East. The company boasts a diverse portfolio, with interests in agriculture, energy, entertainment, and maritime, employing tens of thousands of individuals worldwide.

Presidential Palace and Luxurious Properties

The Al Nahyan family’s opulent property portfolio includes a collection of magnificent palaces. Foremost among these is the Qaṣr Al-Waṭan, a presidential palace in Abu Dhabi valued at $475 million (Rs 4078 crore). Spanning an expansive 380,000 square meters, the palace features a 37-meter-wide dome and a chandelier adorned with 350,000 crystal pieces. Divided into eastern and western wings, it houses a “House of Knowledge” with prized historical artifacts and halls used for official functions. Opened to the public in 2019, the palace stands as a symbol of the Middle East’s grandeur.

In addition to Qaṣr Al-Waṭan, the Al Nahyan family owns other lavish properties worldwide, including the Chateau de Baillon in northern Paris and several residences in the UK. Former family head Sheikh Khalifa bin Zayed Al Nahyan earned the moniker “landlord of London” for his extensive property holdings in affluent neighborhoods, rivaling even the British royal family’s London assets in 2015.

World’s Biggest Megayachts

The Al Nahyan dynasty’s fleet extends to some of the world’s most luxurious megayachts, surpassing even the possessions of Amazon founder Jeff Bezos. Notable yachts include the Azzam and the Blue superyachts, each valued at $600 million (Rs 4992 crores). Azzam, the world’s longest yacht at 591 feet, boasts accommodation for over 100 people and features a golf training room, overshadowing Jeff Bezos’ 417-foot superyacht, nicknamed ‘Koru.’ The $597 million (Rs 4967 crore) Blue, measuring 525 feet, ranks as the fourth-largest yacht globally, while the $660 million (Rs 5490 crore) A+ was even borrowed by actor Leonardo DiCaprio.

Eight Private Jets

The Al Nahyan family’s presidential fleet comprises eight aircraft, including the Airbus A320-200 and three Boeing 787-9s. Notably, Sheikh Mohamed bin Zayed Al Nahyan’s personal collection includes the $478 million (Rs 3977 crore) Boeing 747 and the $176 million (Rs 1464 crore) Boeing 787, reflecting the family’s commitment to a lavish lifestyle.

Uber-Expensive Fleet of Cars

Sheikh Hamad bin Hamdan al Nahyan’s car collection is museum-worthy, with over 700 vehicles, including the world’s largest SUV and the coveted Willys Jeep. Meanwhile, Sheikh Mansour bin Zayed bin Sultan Al Nahyan’s impressive collection features five Bugatti Veyrons, a Ferrari 599XX, McLaren MC12, Mercedes-Benz CLK GTR, and a Lamborghini Reventon, as detailed by The New Yorker.

Premier League Football Club

Beyond the realms of luxury, the Al Nahyan family has left its mark in the sporting world. The Abu Dhabi United Group, under Sheikh Mohamed bin Zayed Al Nahyan’s ownership, acquired the English football team Manchester City for $255 million (Rs 2122 crore) in September 2008. Moreover, the investment company holds an 81 percent majority stake in the City Football Group, managing football clubs like Manchester City, Mumbai City, Melbourne City, and New York City.

The wealth of the Al Nahyan royal family transcends conventional boundaries, reflecting not only in their financial holdings but also in their ownership of iconic properties, megayachts, private jets, luxury cars, and a prominent presence in the world of sports. As the world’s wealthiest family, the Al Nahyan dynasty continues to shape global investments and redefine opulence on an unprecedented scale.

Affordable Fitness: Building a Thrifty Workout Routine

If budget constraints have kept you from achieving your fitness goals, you’re not alone. While the dream of a personal gym with top-notch equipment may seem out of reach, there are cost-effective ways to get in shape without breaking the bank. Milo F. Bryant, a San Diego-based trainer, highlights the simplicity of free outdoor activities: “I can go to the beach for free. I can pick up some hundred-pound rocks and carry them.” Bryant also recommends bear crawls, emphasizing their effectiveness on steps.

Creating a home gym doesn’t have to drain your wallet. The classic jump rope, priced at just $10, offers an incredible workout. Gwen Gates, a coach at the Logan Health Medical Fitness Center, suggests a Tabata-style routine, utilizing 20 seconds on and 10 seconds off intervals for 10 to 20 minutes. For those uncomfortable with jumping, letting the rope hit the ground and stepping over it still elevates the heart rate.Affordable Fitness Building a Thrifty Workout Routine

Battle ropes are another budget-friendly option for working the arms and incorporating cardio. While commercial ones may start at $50, a homemade version using supplies from a hardware store can be just as effective. For those interested in strength training without barbells, exercise bands, costing no more than $20 for a full set, offer versatile options. Bryant recommends placing bands around ankles or knees while walking sideways, providing an effective workout.

Kettlebell workouts are popular, but the weights can be expensive. Brad Roy, the editor of the American College of Sports Medicine’s Health & Fitness Journal, suggests using medicine balls instead, starting at around $20. Gwen Gates advises incorporating them into squats, progressively adding difficulty by raising the ball above your head.

For a back-to-basics approach, consider rucking, or walking with weight on your back. This age-old practice builds strength, stamina, and muscular endurance. While specialized rucking backpacks start at $100, you can achieve the same effect by loading your current backpack with a few books or water bottles. Utilizing pull-up bars or exercise tools found during your walk adds an extra dimension to your routine. Playground exercises, from step-ups to tricep dips, provide a diverse set of options.

Bird-watching, disc golf, and shadowboxing can also be incorporated into your walks. Bird-watching, in particular, can extend the duration of your walk as you seek out new species. If you’re not a bird enthusiast, try disc golf, a budget-friendly activity with approximately 9,000 courses across the United States. Shadowboxing routines or walking with poles, starting at $25, provide effective arm and shoulder workouts. Trekking poles, suggested by Dr. Roy, encourage better posture than traditional canes, making them an excellent option for those considering walking aids.

For a more dynamic workout, consider pickleball on a tennis court. Paddle and ball sets start at $30, offering not only physical benefits but also improving hand-eye coordination and balance, especially beneficial for older adults. Dr. Roy describes pickleball as an “awesome activity” for overall fitness.

Achieving fitness goalsdoesn’t have to come with a hefty price tag. By incorporating affordable tools and outdoor activities into your routine, you can build strength, improve endurance, and enhance your overall well-being without burning a hole in your pocket. As Milo F. Bryant aptly puts it, “You want to be able to move,” and these budget-friendly optionsprovide the perfect opportunity to do just that.

https://www.nytimes.com/2024/01/02/well/move/cheap-workouts-fitness-exercise.html?smid=nytcore-android-share

Marital Shifts Among the Stars: Navigating the Changing Landscape of Celebrity Unions

The traditional belief regarding marital satisfaction follows a U-shaped trajectory. It commences with an exhilarating romantic phase, then experiences a decline as individuals grapple with the reality that life with a partner is not always a steady ascent to happiness but can resemble more of an arduous journey. However, as time progresses, satisfaction often returns, either through acceptance of one’s circumstances or, ideally, through the negotiation of a more harmonious union.

Contrary to this conventional wisdom, the events of 2023 have challenged the notion that a long marriage is synonymous with a lasting one, particularly when it involves two high-profile and driven individuals. This year witnessed the surprising dissolution of well-established celebrity couples, previously held up as #couplesgoals, signaling a clearcutting in what was once considered the old-growth forest of enduring unions.

In September, Hugh Jackman and Deborra-lee Furness, a resilient icon of celebrity coupledom, announced their separation after 27 years. The shockwaves continued in October when Jada Pinkett Smith revealed in her memoir that she and Will Smith had been living apart for seven years, constituting a quarter of their marriage. Meryl Streep and her husband, sculptor Don Gummer, married for 45 years, disclosed that they had been leading separate lives for six years. Additionally, Kellyanne and George Conway decided to part ways after more than two decades, surprising many with the longevity of their union.

Leaving a spouse after a quarter-century might appear perplexing to some, akin to learning Chinese and then relocating to Mexico or meticulously ironing a stack of laundry only to throw it all back in the wash. To others, it may indicate a shift in affections. Notably, in these high-profile splits, there have been no public accusations of infidelity as the root cause, though such details are often kept private.

Various perspectives offer more mundane explanations for these late-stage divorces. In the absence of children to raise, there may be a lack of a joint project to engage in. After 25 years, spouses may find it challenging to surprise each other, with their stories, habits, and chewing noises growing thin. Divergent views on retirement, coupled with the myriad distractions in today’s world, from food-delivery apps to OnlyFans, contribute to the perception that the benefits of growing old together no longer outweigh the drawbacks.

Alternatively, these late-in-life separations can be viewed as a positive sign—a refusal to settle for the hand life has dealt, an insistence on seeking change even after decades of marriage. It signals a message to the cosmic order that one is not done yet, that there’s still room for transformation and new beginnings.

This theme of resilience and continued pursuit of dreams is echoed in the experiences of prominent figures in 2023. Madonna, at 65, is on tour, while Barbra Streisand (81) and Martha Stewart (82) grace glossy magazine covers, the latter flaunting a different kind of “rack.” Annette Bening, aged 65, stars in a biopic about Diana Nyad, who swam 110 miles at 64. Even in the realm of politics, the leading candidates for the next U.S. presidency are 77 and 81 years old. The success of “The Golden Bachelor,” depicting a widower’s quest for love in his 70s, underscores that the elderly are not fading away quietly but are defying the waning of their cultural influence and romantic aspirations.

However, it’s worth noting that this resilience is more evident among the affluent. Just as the past two decades have witnessed a growing income gap between those who choose to marry and those who don’t, late-life separations and the subsequent quest for senior love are endeavors typically undertaken by high-net-worth individuals. The discreet nature of these splits, involving separate but desirable residences, comes with a hefty price tag, requiring both partners to be financially secure enough to handle the bills without public disputes over assets.

The pursuit of new love, although a perennially captivating fantasy, can also be a daunting endeavor. Even for individuals like Gerry Turner, the golden bachelor, who have potential suitors delivered to their doorstep, finding a new mate is not without its challenges. Embracing a fresh start with someone whose flaws are already known may not lead to a springtime of new experiences, but there’s a certain allure to the prospect of a spectacular autumn.

As we navigate the changing landscape of celebrity unions, it may be prudent to extend positive thoughts to our favorite celebrity couples, particularly the more seasoned ones. How are Kyra Sedgwick and Kevin Bacon faring? Has anyone heard from Angela Bassett and Courtney B. Vance recently? Perhaps a Groupon for a date night for Rita Wilson and Tom Hanks would be a thoughtful gesture. In the unpredictable realm of celebrity relationships, 2023 serves as a reminder that caution is never unwarranted.

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