Many people misjudge what will truly bring them happiness, according to Laurie Santos, a happiness expert who trained at Harvard University. While it’s common to believe that a promotion or a higher salary will lead to joy and a sense of fulfillment, Santos argues that these assumptions can be misleading. In some cases, such as when someone is struggling to cover basic expenses like rent, financial gains may indeed offer relief. However, once basic needs are met, happiness is more likely to be sustained through consistent, small daily habits that promote health and connection, she explained during a live taping of the interview series “Last Meal with Tom Nash” at SXSW on March 12.
Santos, who is also a psychology professor at Yale University, emphasized that sacrificing sleep, exercise, or time with loved ones in pursuit of professional or financial goals can end up compromising one’s happiness. In contrast, maintaining a focus on health, rest, and relationships offers a more effective and lasting return on emotional well-being. “Material possessions, fame, professional accolades at work … We think those are going to be the stuff that moves the needle,” Santos said. “[But] we’re often pursuing that stuff at opportunity cost of the stuff that really matters.”
Her perspective aligns with findings from a 2022 meta-analysis published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, which concluded that goals centered on one’s social, emotional, and physical health tend to contribute more positively to well-being than those based on external validation or the approval of others.
Santos outlined three straightforward and science-backed habits that can help people feel happier on a daily basis:
Keeping a Gratitude Journal
One of the most effective ways to enhance happiness is through practicing gratitude. Writing down things you’re thankful for—whether it’s a stable home, a strong relationship, or a hobby that brings you joy—has been shown to elevate both emotional and physical well-being. According to Santos, the benefits of this habit increase over time. In her free online course “The Science of Well-Being for Teens,” which launched in 2023, she said, “The longer you keep a gratitude journal, the more of a difference you’ll notice.”
Supporting this idea, a 2020 study by psychologists from the University of Twente and Eastern Washington University found that practicing gratitude for just 15 minutes a day, five days a week over six weeks can significantly improve mental wellness. Additional research shows that gratitude practices can lower stress levels, sharpen mental clarity, and enhance the quality of relationships, sleep, and overall mental health.
While journaling is one option, it’s not the only way to experience the benefits of gratitude. Santos and other experts note that alternative methods—such as writing thank you notes, acknowledging small acts of kindness from strangers, or reflecting on when someone has treated you kindly—can offer similar advantages. People can choose the approach that best suits their preferences and lifestyle.
Improving Sleep—Even Slightly
Getting more sleep is another critical component of happiness and mental health, and even small increases can make a big difference. “I actually think we could solve most of the mental health in college age students and high school students if we just forced [them] to get more sleep,” Santos said in her online course.
Research has consistently demonstrated that sleeping at least seven hours per night can boost cognitive function, enhance mood, and reduce the risk of chronic conditions like heart disease and dementia. To help people improve the quality of their rest, Santos recommends using a traditional alarm clock and leaving phones in another room while sleeping. “I know there’s stuff to do … but if you can just get the right amount of shut eye, you really will improve your mental health much more than you expect,” she said.
The importance of adequate rest is echoed by longevity specialist Poonam Desai, who also spoke to CNBC Make It. “It’s something we do every single day. It’s free. You have an opportunity to optimize it every single day,” Desai said, emphasizing that sleep is the number one most effective way to maintain long-term physical health.
Connecting in Real Time with Others
Santos also stresses the importance of real-time social interaction. While digital communication through social media and texting allows for easy contact with people near and far, it doesn’t provide the same mental uplift as engaging with others in person or in real-time conversations. Speaking on the “Huberman Lab” podcast in December 2024, Santos explained that real-life social experiences have a more meaningful impact on happiness.
“The two things that predict whether or not you’re happy … is how much time you spend with friends and family members, and how much time you’re just physically around other people,” Santos said.
This includes brief and seemingly minor interactions. Even talking with your local barista during a coffee run can elevate your mood, regardless of whether you consider yourself introverted or extroverted. Santos explained that these small connections can significantly influence our emotional state. “It gives you a sense that your life is going better,” she said. “You feel less lonely. [Being social] has all these positive outcomes that we don’t expect.”
Taken together, Santos’ guidance encourages a shift in how people think about the pursuit of happiness. Instead of chasing larger, often external achievements—like promotions or financial success—people can benefit more from smaller, consistent efforts that enhance physical, mental, and social well-being. These daily habits may not be glamorous or headline-making, but they are deeply effective at fostering a lasting sense of happiness.
Santos’ insights serve as a reminder that happiness often lies in what we overlook. While ambition and hard work can be valuable, they shouldn’t come at the cost of one’s health, rest, or relationships. By practicing gratitude, prioritizing quality sleep, and fostering real-life connections, people can build a foundation for sustained happiness—without waiting for a major life event to bring it.