When people think of romantic love, they often picture grand gestures, intense passion, or an immediate spark. However, a 2024 study published in the Journal of Psychology suggests that love is far more than these fleeting moments.
Researchers sought to understand what specific actions made individuals feel most loved in their relationships. Their findings highlighted three key behaviors—often overlooked yet profoundly impactful.
Be Responsive to Their Needs
A major way people feel loved is when their needs are met through “positive responsiveness.” Research indicates that when individuals perceive their partners as caring, validating, and supportive, their relationship satisfaction increases. It’s not about granting every request but rather about demonstrating genuine care, affection, and encouragement.
The study found that people feel most loved when their partners exhibit three types of positive responsiveness:
- Displaying Affection: Affection can take many forms, from a warm embrace to a heartfelt text. Grand romantic displays aren’t necessary; instead, small, consistent gestures communicate love. Holding hands, making eye contact during conversations, offering sincere compliments, or surprising a partner with a thoughtful note or gift are all meaningful ways to express affection.
- Providing Support: Being a supportive partner extends beyond difficult times; it includes actively contributing to each other’s well-being. Emotional support might involve respecting a partner’s independence, providing words of encouragement, or simply being a dependable presence. Tangible support, like assisting with daily tasks, running errands, or offering advice when needed, also fosters a sense of love and security.
- Enhancing Their Sense of Worth: A crucial way to make someone feel cherished is by helping them recognize their own value. This goes beyond occasional compliments. It’s about consistently appreciating and prioritizing them. Recognizing their achievements—big or small—showing respect for their opinions, and making them feel seen and appreciated all play a role. Participants shared how their partners demonstrated this, such as by offering “constant reminders that I am beautiful inside and out” or by going “out of their way to do things that I love, even if they do not.”
Lean Into Your Authentic Connection
Another fundamental way to ensure a partner feels loved is by fostering an authentic connection. This means being genuine in interactions, regularly checking in with each other, and prioritizing quality time together.
Participants identified two primary ways in which partners nurtured an authentic connection:
- Cultivating Mutual Affinity: Love flourishes when two people genuinely enjoy being together—not out of obligation, but because they want to share experiences. This could involve engaging in deep conversations, planning a future together, or setting aside time for regular activities as a couple. Something as simple as scheduling a weekly date night without distractions can reinforce closeness.
- Being in Sync Emotionally: A strong relationship is built on understanding. Feeling loved often stems from being heard, validated, and deeply understood. This requires active listening, empathy, and attentiveness to each other’s thoughts and feelings. For example, if a partner expresses anxiety about an upcoming work presentation, following up afterward to ask how it went shows emotional engagement.
As the researchers noted, “People (felt) loved when both partners’ feelings and thoughts were in sync with each other, such that the two parties become mentally one.”
Offer a Strong Sense of Stability
Finally, one of the most powerful ways to foster love is by providing a relationship built on trust and security. When people know their partners are reliable and steadfast, they feel valued and safe, even in difficult moments.
The study found that deep feelings of love often arose from experiencing this kind of stability. Here’s how to cultivate it:
- Being Dependable: Reliability is about ensuring a partner can trust in one’s consistency. This doesn’t mean being flawless, but rather following through on promises, being honest, and providing support when needed. Even small gestures—like checking in with a quick message during a busy day or remembering meaningful dates—can reinforce dependability.
- Demonstrating Unwavering Love: True love is not conditional. It doesn’t come with rigid expectations or requirements. It involves accepting a partner wholeheartedly, embracing both their strengths and flaws, and standing by them through both triumphs and challenges. For instance, if a partner is struggling with self-doubt or has made a mistake, offering kindness instead of criticism can strengthen the emotional bond. This fosters an environment where both individuals feel free to be their authentic selves without fear of judgment or rejection.
The beauty of these behaviors is that they do not require perfection—only genuine effort, intentionality, and consistency. At its core, love is about fostering a space where both partners feel safe, appreciated, and valued.
As the study suggests, making a partner feel loved doesn’t require elaborate or grand gestures. Instead, it’s the quiet, consistent moments of care—being present, showing kindness, and remaining dependable—that truly define a loving relationship.
Ultimately, these small, everyday actions don’t just make a partner feel loved. They create the foundation for a relationship where love is reciprocated, deepened, and continually nurtured.