In a heartfelt reflection, Madhumita Gupta celebrates the profound impact of sisterhood and female friendships that have shaped her life.
A sisterhood of women has left an indelible mark on my life. I count myself lucky to be surrounded by a nourishing circle of female friends.
As I reach for a bowl of water, I carefully drop a tiny bit of batter into it and watch it sink like lead. This won’t do! Shaking my head, I return to the batter, trying to keep my whisking light. After a few minutes of vigorous whipping, I perform the drop test again, and this time the drop floats up like a veritable mermaid. Voila! My dahi-vadas will be perfect, I know for sure.
This foolproof tip came from a childhood friend and has never failed me. “Start with an anecdote,” an editor-turned-close friend advised when I ventured into writing without any experience. That tip made all the difference for a newbie trying to navigate a new field. From cooking to caring for plants, from writing to those panic calls at 3 AM, it sometimes seems that whatever I know today, whatever I am today, is largely thanks to my gal-pals.
When I say gal-pal, I use the term loosely. They include my sister-in-law, mother, grandmother, aunts, cousins, friends and their mothers and sisters, teachers, and even some women I’ve met during my travels who have become lifelong friends. These are the women who have left an indelible mark on my life through secret recipes, tips for doing things better, shared gossip, or simply the reassurance of being there.
We know for sure that no matter the hour or circumstance, we can reach out to each other anytime.
I consider myself fortunate to still be in regular touch with my oldest and closest friends from school. We have known each other since our pinafore and ponytail days, and we can still share giggles as we reminisce about the scrapes we got into and the idiocies we remember. A chance word can instantly transport us back to our school days.
In 1982, we were still each other’s 3 AM buddies. Anu and I fondly recall sitting on her father’s ancient Vespa scooter, one facing forward and the other backward, trying to sing two different songs at the same time—our madcap version of ‘antakshari.’ We would invariably get muddled by the first stanza, singing each other’s lyrics incorrectly, which left us in fits of laughter.
Our long phone conversations cover a wide range of topics, from nostalgia to our current lives, sharing heartaches and joys as we grow older. Whether it’s Jyoti, Anu, or Poonam, we just pick up where we left off.
I often find it hard to determine who I am closer to—my school friends or my soul-sisters, whom I met during times when it’s supposedly difficult to make new friends. Our trio is tight-knit. I met my other two soul-sisters through my blog, and they have been my beacon and sounding board for years since our first interactions.
How did we find each other in a crowd? How did we come to mean so much to one another? Our days feel incomplete without exchanging messages, even about the mundane aspects of life.
In 2016, we became known as the Three Musketeers. Our lives revolve around seeking meaningful connections, and for me, these ‘luck by chance’ encounters have provided just that.
What else can explain meeting a soul-sister who became my lifeline in a foreign country? I treasure her enthusiastic shouts during our games of ‘Taboo’ and her delicious andaa-biryani. What could I possibly have in common with Isabel from Mexico? As it turns out, a lot. My go-to formula in a dilemma is now WWID—What Would Isabel Do?
This sisterhood has significantly contributed to shaping who I am today. As long as I keep the door to my heart open, the fact that we are there for each other, regardless of geographical distance, makes this friendship something I cherish deeply.
As I add salt while washing cauliflower in warm water, I think of Nidhi; as I gather spices for mango pickle, I bless Amisha; as I add a dash of white to red when painting a rose, I remember Mami; and as I remove an exclamation point from my fifty exclamation points, I recall Mira, who warns me about using them too liberally. I pray that this hedgerow of sisterhood remains around us.
According to India Currents, the bonds of sisterhood and friendship are invaluable, shaping our lives in ways we often take for granted.