Why Partners Become Emotionally Unavailable To Each Other?

We’ve all been there, the stage when we are falling in love with a person and everything feels so perfect. An expert says: It’s perfectly normal to go through this process but what happens next? How do we mature from this infatuation into something more stable and sustainable? How do we manage to deal with our partner’s flaws once we get past the butterflies-in-the-stomach stage?

Chandni Tugnait, a psychotherapist, life and business coach, and founder-director of Gateway of Healing, says there are many reasons why people become emotionally unavailable to their partners. Tugnait talks about what one can do about this disconenct:

Getting too caught up in the infatuation phase

Falling head over heels for someone isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. Some people enter relationships rather slowly, taking time to really get to know the other person and letting themselves fall slowly, whereas others rush into relationships and focus only on the good things. To some extent, all of us have rose-tinted glasses on, when we are infatuated with someone; everything about our new love-interest feels perfect, therefore we conclude that they must be right for us. We might also tend to neglect the issues in the relationship as a whole because we are driven by an intense need for completion that makes it hard for us to see things objectively. For this reason, people can get disappointed in their partners once they come out of this infatuation stage simply because they expect certain things from them that were never established.

No personal boundaries

Setting your own boundaries is something that many of us struggle with, especially in romantic relationships. It can feel scary to put a certain distance between you and your partner and it can be hard to find that right balance between getting too close and being suffocated by the relationship. However, having solid boundaries would allow you to enjoy this relationship while not losing yourself in it.

They have unrealistic expectations

Having realistic expectations about what you are entering into when you start a serious relationship is very important for the success of the relationship. A lot of people tend to set themselves up for failure as they create unrealistic expectations; for example, they might expect their partner to always be available and willing to put their relationship first, leaving other things aside.

Having problems accepting your own flaws

The best way for your partner not to feel overwhelmed by your flaws is simply by first accepting them yourself. There are many people who refuse to take responsibility for some of the things they do wrong in relationships, yet they still get upset when their loved ones point out those flaws which in turn fuels the conflict between them. It is also very important to be empathetic towards your partner and try to understand their point of view so that you can establish a healthy communication.

They stop putting in effort

Putting in some sort of effort is what will keep relationships alive. When people stop trying to make things work it usually means that they have lost interest in the relationship but still want to hold on to it for as long as possible; usually because they are afraid of being alone or lonely.

They start thinking that they don’t deserve better

A lot of us enter new relationships with the idea that we don’t deserve someone better and therefore we end up accepting all sorts of unacceptable behaviour from our partners. We might even be in this situation ourselves! Think about that for a second; when you think that you don’t deserve better, it means that one day you will stop making an effort to find someone who is actually good for you because deep down, the idea that, “they are as good as it gets” still lingers.

They stop seeing their partner’s flaws

A relationship can only work if both people acknowledge each other’s flaws and learn how to deal with them accordingly. For example, if your partner has anger management issues, much care needs to be taken so they don’t lash out at you when they get mad or hold a grudge after they calm down. However, this can only happen if both partners are willing to talk about their flaws and improve the way they act on them.

They don’t express their feelings

Even when it comes to expressing our feelings, some people tend to take things too far by saying everything that pops into their head without thinking or saying nothing and suppressing it all. This usually results in an overload or lack of information, respectively, that makes it hard for anyone to keep up with what’s going on. The worst part is that this never allows your partner to fully understand how you feel so they won’t be able to comfort you and help you through difficult situations. Expressing yourself is very important as you learn about what bothers you and how you can fix it while enabling your partner to understand and comfort you.

They start thinking that they don’t deserve to be happy

Again, this goes back to the point we talked about earlier, when you think that you don’t deserve better and therefore end up accepting all kinds of bad behaviour from your partner. This also leads to a feeling of apathy because no matter what happens, your life will always remain stuck in the same place where it is hard for anything new or exciting to happen. This in turn, makes you feel unhappy.

They try taking control over their relationship

This usually happens when people are afraid of losing their loved ones so they try doing whatever it takes in order to keep them around as long as possible. However, trying to control every aspect of a relationship usually results in a lack of communication, emotionally suffocating the partner, nagging, sulking, and prevents any kind of healthy relationship from emerging.

They isolate themselves

Being emotionally unavailable to the point when you stop having friends can be very dangerous because when there is no one around to support you, it will be harder for your partner to do so as well. This makes the situation even worse because it becomes more and more difficult for anyone to help you break out of that vicious cycle.

They are simply lazy

Some people are unable to complete tasks or maintain good habits once they stop thinking about what would happen if they fail at something. For instance, it’s easy to cancel your plans last minute a couple of times but as those habits stack up over time, your partner will start feeling that their presence does not matter much and this usually leads to an emotionally abusive relationship.

They think the grass is greener on the other side

Some people always want more, no matter what. Often, it results in their relationships deteriorating because they seek for better things outside even if they already have everything in and around them. Over time, you can develop an attitude of constantly wanting something else or expecting too much from your partner as well and this may cause them to feel less loved by you.

They lose themselves along the way

Sometimes, we forget about our feelings or desires because we let ourselves get carried away with day-to-day chores. This usually happens after long-term relationships where partners start feeling like they cannot do anything without having their significant other around all the time to support them and make everything better. In the end, it’s hard to feel like you have your own identity because the other person starts taking too much control over your life.

They get comfortable with the routine

Some people don’t know how to get out of a rut so they do nothing about it and this results in them feeling stuck with their partner on an emotional level as well. This usually happens when one becomes complacent with the current situation and stops caring about improving things between them. If you let these opportunities for change slip away from you, what would remain is simply a relationship that no longer exists or one that doesn’t have value anymore.

They become toxic themselves

Sometimes people just become emotionally unavailable because of their own issues which stem from past experiences or by being exposed to those experiencing them, for too long. If you surround yourself with destructive people, sooner or later you will start developing a lifestyle based on toxicity which would invariably be unfavourable for everybody around you.

Be mindful, take responsibility and nurture the relationship with your partner by being emotionally available to them and allowing the same for yourself too. Reaffirm commitment, surprise your partner and most importantly, be available for them. (IANS)

Dr. Deepak Chopra To Host ‘Mind Body Zone’ Podcast Launching September 16

Indian-American wellness expert and integrated medicine pioneer Deepak Chopra has turned podcast host with his upcoming Audible Original title ‘Deepak Chopra’s Mind Body Zone: Living Outside the Box’ releasing September 16 this year. It will have twelve 30-minute episodes.

The exclusive podcast features thought-provoking conversations between Chopra and a mix of influential leaders, including Oprah Winfrey, Jon Batiste, X Gonzalez, Jenny Odell and more, exploring how connecting the mind to the body can promote physical and emotional well-being, creativity, inspiration and conflict resolution, Audible said in its announcement of the multi-project development deal with the author.

Each of its 12 episodes will be tied to a specific theme, including embracing the unknown, self-acceptance, white privilege, and overcoming trauma and addiction, and will be accompanied by a guided meditation, creating a holistic experience for listeners as they reflect upon each episode’s key learnings. “Additional projects forthcoming from the development deal include a short-form memoir about Chopra’s quest for inner freedom, as well as a poetry project featuring notable guests and friends of Chopra,” reveals the audio storytelling platform.

“Over the course of my life, I’ve had the privilege of learning from brilliant friends and inspiring individuals, while discovering how to connect with my deeper self,” says Deepak Chopra.

“I believe that there is immense power behind the spoken word. Emotions are tethered to the human voice. This is why I chose to share my insights and experiences through the audio medium, and develop passion projects with Audible. Through storytelling, shared dialogue and guided meditations delivered in my own voice and the voices of others, I hope to create a deeply intimate, sensory listening experience for audiences — as if we are all in the room together, learning together and reflecting together,” he adds.

Chopra is the author of 90 widely-translated books, including numerous New York Times bestsellers. For the last 30 years, he has been at the forefront of the meditation revolution and his 91st book, ‘Total Meditation’ (Harmony Books) helps to achieve new dimensions of stress-free living and joyful living.

Zola Mashariki, SVP, Head of Audible Studios at Audible notes: “We’re seeing the appetite for wellness and meditation content grow at a rapid pace, with audiences continuing to turn to Audible for unique, new ways to ground themselves and work on their overall state of well-being. There is no one better suited to help guide listeners on their personal development journey than Deepak.” (IANS)

Lack Of Nutrients Cause Behavioral Changes?

It is a universal fact that a wholesome diet is mandatory for a healthy body. Lack of nutrition can lead to various diseases. The whole dietary pattern can be defined as the quantity, frequency, variety and combination of different foods and drinks that need to be consumed. Deficiency of any nutrients may cause physical, mental, and behavioural effects, says an expert. AseemSood, Managing Director, Proveda India, shares insights on the dietary pattern and its behavioral impact.

Iron Deficiency

If you find your child being tired and often irritated, then it is important to know the cause of it. These kids are also disruptive, have a short attention span and lack interest in their surroundings. Such behavioural changes are cause due to a lack of iron in the body. Iron deficiency can cause Anaemia. It is a condition in which you don’t have enough healthy red blood cells to carry adequate oxygen to your body’s tissues. Iron deficiency is commonly seen in preschool children and if they are not given iron-rich foods then they are easily prone to this deficiency.

Vitamin A deficiency

We often hear parents complaining about their kids being very aggressive and have rule-breaking behaviour. These kids show anxiety disorders in adolescence. Forgetfulness and low energy level show the deficiency of Vitamin A which is a very crucial group of nutrients. It is also required for a healthy reproductive system in men and women. Green and orange vegetables are a great source of Vitamin A nutrients. For newborn babies, breast milk is considered the best source of vitamin A.

Iodine Deficiency

In many cases, we have seen that children with mental disabilities, impaired intellectual development or impaired growth are victims of low iodine. Almost a third of the world’s population is shaken by Iodine deficiency. Thyroid hormones are a part of various physical growth like brain development, strong bones and regulating the metabolic rate in the body. The most widespread symptom of iodine deficiency is an enlarged thyroid gland. This may also cause an increase in heart rate, breathing problem, and weight gain.

Calcium Deficiency

If a person, irrespective of age groups, experiences weakness throughout, lack of energy and an overall feeling of sluggishness. Fatigue due to calcium deficiency can also lead to light headedness and dizziness which is also characterized by a lack of focus, forgetfulness, and confusion. Moreover, calcium works as a communicating particle. Without this, your heart, muscles, and nerves would not be able to function. Dairy products and dark green vegetables are a good source of calcium.

Magnesium Deficiency

A deficit of Magnesium can be seen through some symptoms like hyperactivity where the kid is fidgeting with hand or feet or is squirms in the seat. They become impulsive and don’t have control over their anger or movements. Their lack of attention, careless mistakes, loss of interest in a certain task where mental effort is required are all signs of low magnesium. The deficiency of magnesium can also lead to several conditions like type 2 diabetes, metabolic syndrome and heart disease. In a long-term symptom, one may not notice insulin resistance and high blood pressure.

Improving diet intake is not easily achieved. Healthy eating patterns are all about regular consumption of a variety of foods from key food groups which includes cereal and cereal products, fruits and vegetables, meat and dairy products. Every so often, consuming foods contributing an equal quantity of nutrients to our health quotient is not possible and hence Immunity boosters are supplemented in our meal to fill in the required minerals. Considering the present scenario, Proveda India launched a segment of immunity boosters and drinks that are a unique combination of science and nature. (IANS)

Cholesterol, Hypertension, Diabetes On The Rise In India

While alcohol intake and thyroid issues among Indians seem to have reduced over the past year, a new health report has detailed a concerning increase in levels of blood pressure, cholesterol, and diabetes, despite fitness and health becoming a nationwide area of interest during the Covid-19 lockdown.

As per the Health Risk Assessment (HRA) Score, 1 in 2 Indians is either in the ‘High Risk’ or ‘Borderline’ category. This is a massive 12 per cent improvement from last year’s figures where 62 per cent Indians fell into the ‘Unhealthy’ category.

According to GOQii’s latest India Fit Report 2021, majority of people can become healthy by making few adjustments to their lifestyle. Reduction in commute time and lockdown probably allowed Indians to focus more on their health and making their immune system stronger. From a gender wise perspective, men are healthier in comparison to women. From an age wise perspective, the younger generation is unhealthier in comparison to the older generation.

Blood Pressure

About 15 per cent of users have reported high BP in 2020 in comparison to 13.4 per cent in 2019. This figure, according to the report, has steadily increased over the last 4 years. About 35 per cent users also reported this disease runs in the family which is a significant figure. Blood pressure cases among older adults are just triple of those in adults. Safe to say, then, that people above 45 are at more risk of having hypertension.

Diabetes

An analysis conducted by a full-stack digital ecosystem for diabetes care and management revealed that the average pre-pandemic fasting sugar levels in January till mid-February was 138 mg/dl whereas in March till mid-April it rose to 165 mg/dl. One-third claim this disease runs in the family. The percentage of those suffering from diabetes went triple, from adults to older adults.

Cholesterol

About 13 per cent users reported high cholesterol, a figure that has remained stable for the past two years. On the other hand, only 4 per cent mentioned they had heart issues which is a major decrease from 8.6 per cent in 2019.

Alcohol

Figures for drinking have reduced for almost all of the age groups and across a majority of cities. Many reasons can be accounted for the same. To start with, the biggest reason can be the onset of the nationwide lockdown because of the Covid-19 pandemic. Travelling was restricted and all the major places where usually people used to drink earlier like cafes, restaurants, bars etc. were shut down. All of these cumulatively decreased the drinking of the people as the only option they were left with was to drink at home, which was not a feasible option for a lot of people. Some comfortably did that, while a majority were not that comfortable in drinking amid their family members and hence the number reduced this year.

As compared to last year’s data, there is a significant reduction in the number of people falling sick in every age category this year. This could be due to the increased awareness in people regarding immunity levels through healthy lifestyle and nutrition food choices. The dip in pollution levels across the nation could also be a reason for this.

The report also revealed that stress levels remained high throughout the year. The survey outcome highlighted a rise in stress index from 4.98 in Mid-year to 5.11 at end of the year. Forty-five per cent are currently plagued with depression.

City-wise, Surat, Jaipur and Patna are the top 3 healthiest cities in India, respectively, as revealed by the survey whereas Lucknow, Kolkata and Chennai are the unhealthiest. (IANS)

Art/CultureWorks By Indian Artists At Upcoming New York Auction Series

Over 750 objects from 5,000 years of art spanning all epochs and categories of Asian art from Chinese archaic bronzes through Japanese and Korean art to modern and contemporary Indian painting, will go under the hammer in a series of auctions at the Asian Art Week by auction house Christie’s in March in New York.

Of the seven auctions, at least three include Indian works of art, including a significant painting by the pioneer of Indian modernism Tyeb Mehta, titled ‘Confidant’ and painted in 1962 (estimated to fetch between Rs 4.34 crore – Rs 5.79 crore).

According to the auction house, important Gandharan sculptures from a private Japanese collection, including a magnificent 3rd to 4th-century gray schist figure of Buddha Shakyamuni among the highlights. “From rare huanghuali furniture to a collection of works by respected artist and teacher Benodebehari Mukherjee, treasures from every category of Asian art wait to be discovered.”

In the ‘South Asian Modern + Contemporary Art’ auction on March 17, early works of Tyeb Mehta (Confidant, 1962) and Francis Newton Souza (Family, 1946) are included. Also included are exceptional examples by modern masters Maqbool Fida Husain, Sayed Haider Raza and Narayan Shridhar Bendre. Also featured is a fine group of paintings by Krishen Khanna from the collection of Arthur and Lilly Banwell.

A diverse contemporary section includes impressive prints and a sculpture by Zarina, and significant works by the region’s most renowned practitioners like Atul Dodiya, Anju Dodiya, Ranjani Shettar, Jitish Kallat and Subodh Gupta, to name a few.

Part two of the same auction includes a significant collection of works by Benodebehari Mukherjee (1904-1980) from the Mrinalini Mukherjee Foundation. Ethereal landscapes by this pioneer of modern Indian art are complemented by a group of figurative works and nature studies representing every phase of his career. Particularly important are collages, sketches and prints from the final stage of his life, executed after the artist’s complete loss of eyesight.

On the same date, the ‘Indian, Himalayan and Southeast Asian Works of Art’ sale will present 58 lots featuring works from across India, the Himalayas, and Southeast Asia. Highlights include a rare Chola-period bronze figure of the Shaivite saint Sambandar and a well-published folio from the dispersed ‘Lambagraon’ Gita Govinda series attributed to the Kangra court artist Purkhu.

Christie’s also says that it continues to leverage digital tools to extend access to key bidding areas and provide global audiences with opportunities to view auctions.

The ‘South Asian Modern + Contemporary Art Online’ auction from March 4-18, also aims to “celebrate a wide variety of artistic practices from the South Asian subcontinent and its diaspora across the 20th and 21st centuries”, says Christie’s.

The online sale includes excellent modern works on paper by artists Maqbool Fida Husain, Francis Newton Souza, Manjit Bawa, Prabhakar Barwe and Jogen Chowdhury, alongside those by their mentors and pioneers of regional schools like Abdul Rahman Chughtai, Walter Langhammer, Nek Chand, Kamrul Hasan and Chittaprosad Bhattacharya. Rounding out the catalogue is a section of exceptional works by modern Pakistani artists and contemporary works by artists including Surendran Nair, Nilima Sheikh, Arpana Caur and Paresh Maity. (IANS)