In a society that often labels young women as unruly for defying traditional expectations, one Asian American girl embraces her identity and challenges the status quo.
Editor’s note: This story is part of the annual Mosaic Journalism Program for Bay Area high school students, an intensive course in journalism. Students in the program report and photograph stories under the guidance of professional journalists.
Society tells me I’m unruly. I agree.
I’m a 17-year-old Asian American girl choosing not to pursue the conventional paths of becoming a doctor, lawyer, or engineer. Instead, I dream of being a journalist. My time is often spent in my high school’s theater, enjoying late-night hangouts with friends. My SAT score was so low that I fear the judgment of my community if they ever found out.
There’s a certain perception about girls like me who choose to wear makeup to school, pursue the liberal arts, and openly disagree with our parents. We are often seen as wild, out of control, and a source of frustration for our families. By advocating for my own life choices, I find myself labeled as defiant.
But is this label of “unruly” truly justified, or is it part of a larger conversation about women and our roles in society? The scrutiny extends beyond my Punjabi relatives in India, who might claim my parents have failed in raising an obedient daughter. It transcends my identity as a person of color, a first-generation American, or an aspiring artist.
What we are witnessing is an ongoing dialogue about women—particularly girls like me—and our rightful place in society. For too long, we have tried to prove that we are tame and compliant, content with decisions made for us.
I say it’s time to embrace the label.
By perpetuating the notion that we should be docile and disciplined, we allow ourselves to be confined to a box. This box demands that we nod, smile, and sit quietly, prioritizing our parents’ reputations and the opinions of neighbors over our own aspirations. It limits a woman’s role to nurturing the young and reserves more significant responsibilities for men, as if that is how nature intended it.
Continuing to enforce this label only serves to silence the voices of those advocating for change. It doesn’t matter if you’re Punjabi American, Latin American, or from any other cultural background; every woman deserves to be heard. My message to those resisting the evolution of immigrant daughters in America is simple: embrace it.
We are no longer in an era where women are expected to remain at home and stay silent. The Vice President of the United States is a woman. Women lead major corporations. We are making strides and asserting our opinions. We are initiating change in areas where it has long been absent. We are shaking things up and leaving our mark in spaces previously untouched. While this may not fit the mold of being tame and compliant, I can still honor my family while being true to my own heart and mind.
There is no one-size-fits-all box. This is America, where each of us has the opportunity to carve our own path. We get to define what being wild or untamed means to us, as new choices and difficult decisions will always arise. Change may be uncomfortable, but it is also inevitable.
So, yes, I am unruly. What about it?
Nanki Kaur is a freshman at UC Irvine. This content originally appeared in the Mercury News. Mosaic is a partner of the Knight Collaborative in which India Currents participates.