Warren Buffett, a man with a net worth of $142 billion, offers invaluable advice not only on how to make smart business decisions but also on how to lead a fulfilling life. His fortune, amassed over decades, has only grown more impressive as he has donated approximately $56 billion to various charities. As the saying by Jim Rohn goes, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with,” Buffett underscores that whom you choose to spend your time with is critical—especially your spouse.
In Buffett’s words:
“You want to associate with people who are the kind of person you’d like to be. You’ll move in that direction. And the most important person by far in that respect is your spouse.”
Buffett strongly believes that marrying the right person will make an enormous difference in one’s life. “I can’t overemphasize how important that is. Marry the right person. I’m serious about that. It will make more difference in your life,” he emphasizes.
Studies back up Buffett’s perspective. A 2021 report from the U.S. Census Bureau reveals that married individuals tend to earn considerably more than their unmarried counterparts, and their net worth is often three times greater. Additionally, the Bureau of Labor Statistics found that married couples spend around $10,000 less per person annually than unmarried individuals.
Beyond financial implications, the choice of a life partner plays a significant role in professional success. Research from Washington University in St. Louis, which has been previously discussed, shows that people with reliable and prudent partners perform better at work, receive more promotions, earn higher salaries, and are generally more satisfied with their careers. This effect is attributed to what the researchers term “partner conscientiousness,” which positively influences job satisfaction, income, and career advancement. The study notes that conscientious partners tend to manage more household tasks, exhibit pragmatic behaviors, and contribute to a more satisfying home environment. This, in turn, allows both partners to focus more effectively on their professional lives.
Buffett’s views, echoed by Rohn’s saying, highlight the influence of those closest to us. Good habits are contagious. If one partner is organized and efficient, the other partner benefits by being able to focus more on work. Furthermore, if the less organized partner adopts these traits, both partners can more effectively manage their business and personal lives, potentially leading to greater wealth accumulation.
However, while marriage may lead to financial prosperity, it doesn’t necessarily guarantee better health. A study published in the Journal of Physical Activity and Health found that individuals in romantic relationships tend to exercise less than their single counterparts. The study notes that moderate to vigorous physical activities, like running or lifting weights, are less common among those in relationships. The researchers found that people in romantic relationships are more likely to engage in activities such as eating or watching TV together, rather than exercising. As they put it, “For those with a partner, current (exercise) levels are substantially lower when the partner is present than when the partner is absent.”
This finding reveals that people in relationships tend to engage in less physical activity when they spend time together. In short, the presence of a partner can significantly reduce the likelihood of exercising, as couples often prioritize spending time together over physical activity.
Another study, published in Health Psychology, found that individuals in stable relationships tend to gain more weight over time, beyond what can be attributed to natural aging. Similarly, research in Social Science & Medicine indicates that people in long-term relationships are more likely to gain weight and less likely to engage in physical activity. Interestingly, the study also points out that when relationships end, individuals tend to lose weight and increase their exercise levels.
These studies suggest that individuals in secure relationships may become less focused on their physical appearance, as they feel less pressure to maintain healthy habits like eating well and exercising regularly. This behavior, while understandable, can lead to a decline in physical health.
On the other hand, maintaining a healthy lifestyle — which includes regular exercise — can have profound benefits, both physically and mentally. Research published in the Journal of Comparative Physiology shows that increased blood flow during exercise improves brain plasticity, which enhances cognitive functions. Additionally, a study in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Science found that exercise can increase the size of the hippocampus, which helps mitigate age-related memory loss, even in individuals in their 60s and 70s.
Moreover, a study from the University of Vermont discovered that moderate aerobic exercise can improve mood for up to 12 hours. Similarly, research published in the International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health found that regular exercise is associated with greater life satisfaction and overall happiness. People who engaged in higher levels of physical activity reported significantly higher happiness compared to those who exercised less.
While it’s clear that exercise has immense benefits, choosing a life partner solely based on their lifestyle habits may not be the best approach. As the Washington University researchers suggest, marrying a conscientious partner might sound like a path to a rigid and unexciting life. However, having a partner who is both conscientious and practical, as well as one who values a healthy lifestyle, can lead to a more successful career and a longer, healthier life.
So, what’s the best course of action? Instead of trying to change your partner’s habits, focus on how you can be more supportive. You could take the lead in managing household finances, performing more household chores, or handling maintenance and schedules. After all, the most effective way to inspire change is by leading through example.
You could also prioritize exercising together or making healthier eating habits a shared goal. Even if you and your partner don’t do the same workout, being in the same space while exercising can help both of you stay on track. My wife and I work out together often; we may not do the same activities, but being in the same room helps us both remain committed to our fitness goals. Implicit peer pressure can go a long way in maintaining good habits, and it still feels like we’re spending time together.
Ultimately, marrying the right person plays a significant role in leading a successful and fulfilling life, but equally important is being the right person. By being supportive, encouraging, and setting a good example, you can strengthen your relationship in both practical and emotional ways.