Habits to Let Go for Earning Your Child’s Respect

Earning your child’s respect is not something that happens just because you’re their parent. It comes from how you behave and the habits you model for them. As children grow, they observe these habits and decide how much respect they have for you based on what they see. To foster their respect as they get older, there are several habits you should be mindful of, and even let go of. In this article, we explore seven common parenting habits that may hinder gaining your child’s respect.

1) Being Overly Authoritative

Discipline is important, but there’s a fine line between maintaining control and becoming overly authoritative. Parents sometimes believe that being overly strict is the best way to keep order, but it can backfire, causing children to lose respect for them over time. When children feel they aren’t being heard or that their opinions don’t matter, they begin to see their parents as dictators instead of mentors.

Of course, it’s essential to set boundaries, but it’s just as important to give your child some degree of autonomy. Allow them to make decisions, even if they make mistakes along the way. Letting them learn from these experiences will help build respect and teach them life skills. In the end, this approach not only helps children feel valued but also deepens their respect for you as they grow.

2) Not Practicing What You Preach

Children pay more attention to what you do than what you say. A personal example of this occurred when my daughter, who loved to draw, once drew on the wall. I scolded her, but later that same week, she saw me marking measurements on the wall for a painting. Confused, she asked why I was allowed to draw on the wall, but she wasn’t. That incident made me realize that I wasn’t following the rules I set for her, which sent a mixed message.

This experience taught me that if I wanted my child to respect the house rules, I needed to respect them too. Being consistent with your actions, just as much as your words, fosters respect. After all, you can’t expect your children to respect you if you don’t follow the same guidelines you set for them.

3) Dismissing Their Interests

Children begin developing their own interests as young as three years old. Whether it’s dinosaurs, princesses, or even the solar system, these interests are important to them. When parents dismiss or belittle these interests, it can be discouraging. It signals to the child that their passions are insignificant, which can hurt their confidence.

On the other hand, showing interest in what your child enjoys is a way of validating their thoughts and feelings. It helps them feel seen, understood, and respected. So, the next time your child wants to share something they’re passionate about, whether it’s a cartoon they’ve watched a hundred times or facts about space, tune in and engage. These conversations could lead to a deeper bond and greater mutual respect between you and your child.

4) Neglecting Promises

For children, promises are like laws. When you make a promise and keep it, you demonstrate reliability and trustworthiness. However, breaking promises, even small ones, can erode their trust in you. Imagine promising your child a trip to the park, only to cancel at the last minute. This sends the message that your commitments aren’t important, and children notice.

Our actions set a precedent, and if we fail to honor our commitments, how can we expect our children to do the same? By consistently keeping your promises, no matter how small, you build a foundation of respect and trust with your child.

5) Avoiding Difficult Conversations

One of the most challenging moments as a parent came when my son asked me about death. It was a difficult topic that I initially avoided, but he kept asking. Eventually, I realized that if I didn’t explain it to him, someone else might, and not in a way that was appropriate or sensitive to his understanding.

Avoiding tough conversations can create distance between you and your child. They may feel that you’re not open to discussing serious matters, and over time, they may stop turning to you for guidance. Being honest and open, even about uncomfortable subjects, shows your child that they can trust you with any concern. This openness not only fosters respect but also strengthens the bond between you and your child.

6) Always Solving Their Problems

As parents, it’s natural to want to solve our children’s problems and protect them from challenges. However, constantly stepping in can prevent them from developing their own problem-solving skills. When parents take over too often, children may feel as though their abilities aren’t trusted, which can harm their confidence.

Instead of immediately solving every issue, guide your child through the problem-solving process. This way, they learn to think independently and find solutions on their own. At the same time, they will respect you for supporting them in their growth, rather than fixing everything for them.

7) Not Showing Them Respect

Perhaps the most important point is the simplest: If you want your child to respect you, you must respect them. This means respecting their time, their feelings, their thoughts, and their space. Respect is a two-way street, and children learn how to show respect by seeing it in action.

When you model respectful behavior toward your child, they are more likely to reciprocate. Showing respect for your child is fundamental to building a strong, respectful relationship as they grow. By treating your child with the dignity and consideration they deserve, you teach them how to respect you and others in return.

Earning your child’s respect involves more than just expecting it because you are their parent. It requires mindful habits and consistent actions that demonstrate respect, trust, and understanding. By letting go of habits like being overly authoritative, not practicing what you preach, or dismissing your child’s interests, you create an environment where mutual respect can thrive.