In the chaos of daily life, truly connecting with a partner each weekday demands focused intention and simple, meaningful rituals to strengthen intimacy.
Amidst the hustle of work, commutes, and looming deadlines, weekdays often pass in a blur, leaving couples struggling to find quality time together. However, maintaining a close connection doesn’t require additional hours, only deliberate effort.
For psychologist Mark Travers, PhD, who studies relationships and participates in one himself, everyday rituals can profoundly enhance intimacy between partners, particularly during busy times. Importantly, nurturing a relationship isn’t limited to weekends.
Here are five practices that people in the happiest relationships regularly engage in during weekdays, which are often overlooked by others:
1. Building a Mini Morning Routine
Morning routines tend to be chaotic as people rush to meet alarms, deadlines, and the need to get out the door. Consequently, the limited shared moments might be confined to waking up together and a fleeting kiss before parting ways.
Happy couples, however, find small ways to start their day together, even if it’s just for a brief five or ten minutes. This could involve setting the alarm a tad earlier for morning cuddles, making the bed together while chatting, or simply sharing a quiet coffee moment side-by-side. The specifics are less important than the act of doing it, reminding each other: “No matter what the day holds, we have each other.”
2. Sending Thoughtful Check-ins
Maintaining connection during workdays doesn’t necessitate lengthy conversations. A humorous meme, a brief anecdote from the office, or a quick “thinking of you” message can significantly boost emotional intimacy.
The happiest couples make brief check-ins not to discuss logistics, but to remind each other they are always on each other’s mind. Even the act of taking a few seconds from a lunch break, coffee run, or bathroom break for a quick message can be powerful. These small gestures, although seemingly trivial, uplift moods and strengthen your partner’s sense of being valued.
3. Making Time to Reset Individually
Workday stress often sneaks its way into quality couple time, manifesting through constant email-checking or irritability. To counter this, the happiest couples allocate time to unwind separately after work. Whether it’s a solo walk, a quick gym session, or zoning out with a favored TV show, this personal time helps clear mental clutter, enabling partners to be more present and patient for each other.
Although it might seem counterintuitive, recharging separately can be a crucial step towards meaningful reconnection.
4. Prioritizing Daily ‘Us Time’
Evenings may often be consumed by separate routines—one partner cleaning up, the other scrolling through social media, or both relaxing apart on opposite ends of the sofa. However, the happiest couples intentionally create a shared daily moment free from distractions and multitasking.
This may involve enjoying a meal together, playing a quick game, or watching a trivia show with enthusiastic involvement. It isn’t about what the activity looks like, but purely about it being shared and protected. In these moments, household distractions and notifications take a backseat.
5. Ending the Day with a Quiet Check-in
Nightly check-ins aren’t meant to resolve issues but focus on maintaining emotional alignment and preventing small concerns from escalating. Simple questions like “How are you, really?” or “Are we okay?” facilitate these discussions.
Sometimes these exchanges are statement-based, offering thanks, apologies, or minor reflections missed during the day. These quick nightly check-ins ensure that silence doesn’t dominate only to errupt during weekends. They are essential for maintaining a connection without overexerting.
Dr. Mark Travers highlights these practices as key elements that enhance and sustain happy relationships. He is the leading psychologist at Awake Therapy, a telehealth provider of online psychotherapy, counseling, and coaching, and he is also the curator at Therapytips.org, a wellness website.