Rosa, a dedicated nanny in New York City, faces the difficult decision to self-deport to Guatemala after years of fear and uncertainty as an undocumented immigrant.
For over two decades, Rosa has been a nurturing presence in the lives of American families in New York City, providing essential childcare that allows parents to work. Despite her unwavering commitment to her job and the families she cares for, Rosa is now preparing to leave the United States. She plans to self-deport to Guatemala, while her partner of 16 years, a construction worker, will return to Colombia. “Then he can come visit me,” she said.
Rosa’s decision comes amid a climate of fear and anxiety for many undocumented immigrants. “At least we will not have that feeling that someone is chasing us, coming after us. Because that’s how we feel, both of us,” she explained. “Every day on Spanish TV the ads say, ‘If you’re illegal, we’re going to get you. We’re going to kick you out.’ That’s the message we hear every day. It affects you.”
Reflecting on her experiences, Rosa likened the emotional toll to “a little drop of water hitting on a stone. Sooner or later it starts making a hole.” She believes that many people are unaware of the struggles faced by immigrants like her.
Before arriving in the United States, Rosa was a single mother of two in Guatemala, where she taught at a language school for tourists and sold jewelry for a U.S.-based company. However, a recession left her without work and struggling to provide for her young children. In search of better opportunities, she accepted an invitation from a childhood boyfriend, a U.S. citizen living in New York, leaving her children in the care of her mother until she could secure visas for them. Unfortunately, once in New York, her boyfriend was unable to support her, and her tourist visa expired.
“I had nothing, so I began looking for work,” Rosa recalled. As an undocumented immigrant, she took on jobs as a nanny and house cleaner, earning enough to send money back home to support her children. “It was good money, and I was sending money back to feed my kids,” she said.
Rosa has heard stories of mothers who attempt to smuggle their children across the border, but she has always rejected that idea. “I wouldn’t do that. It’s too hard, too dangerous,” she said. “I wanted to do it the legal way, but I couldn’t. I’ve been talking to lawyers since I got here.”
Her children have always been her top priority. “I couldn’t go back because we needed the money. They needed the money to go to school.” Now, her son is an engineer, and her daughter is graduating with a law degree, both of whom have been able to avoid the overcrowded public schools and violence that plague many teenagers in Central America.
“You have no idea how many nights I cried because I miss them, because I want to hold them,” she said, expressing the deep emotional pain of separation from her children.
Throughout her time in the United States, Rosa has cared for numerous American children across four families, forming strong bonds with them. This connection has made it even harder for her to consider leaving. “I have to be honest: I love children,” she said. “They are so curious, so creative. They are really honest with you, with their feelings, with their facts. And they learn from you.”
Rosa has always fulfilled her responsibilities as a taxpayer, using an Individual Taxpayer Identification Number (ITIN) to contribute to programs like Social Security and Medicare, despite knowing she will never benefit from them. She has never been in trouble with the law, stating, “I’ve never been in any trouble.”
As of September, Rosa continued to work, honoring her commitments to the families that depend on her. However, the constant stress and fear of deportation have taken a toll on her well-being. She has altered her daily routines to avoid rush hour and has relied on a taxi driver friend for alerts about Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) activities.
“It’s not fair that people who come and work are threatened, scared, humiliated,” she said. “I would like the freedom to do my work with happiness as usual, without the worry of who is going to take me away, who is going to hurt me and treat me like an animal.”
“I’m sad to go home, but we have to have freedom, not live in a cage,” she concluded, highlighting the emotional weight of her impending departure.
Rosa’s story sheds light on the challenges faced by immigrant workers in the United States, particularly in the childcare sector, where many families rely on their services. The emotional and psychological toll of living in fear of deportation is a reality for countless individuals like Rosa, who contribute significantly to the fabric of American society.
According to American Immigration Council, the experiences of immigrants like Rosa underscore the urgent need for comprehensive immigration reform that addresses the complexities of their lives and contributions.