set in Pekanbaru, Riau, Indonesia
It was because the line at the petrol station was so long that cars were susceptible to receiving beggars. Mother kept the window on her side of the car rolled down because Father had turned off the car and it was so hot that Mother’s sweat from her forehead was dripping onto the car seat and staining its plush. She needed the fresh breeze, she needed the air… what she did not need was a random person to come and ask her for money.
‘Bibi, help me. I do not have any money, please. I need something to eat.’
Mother looked away from the man, trying to keep her gaze at the line of palm trees and vegetation against the road. She was cursing in the back of her mind. Truthfully she did not know why she put so much pressure on her husband to go visit his extended family in the interior of Riau. She knew that the province was facing a critical shortage of petrol due to the war the US and Israel were waging against Iran and the blockage of the strait of Hormoz. She was particularly aware of this due to how often her husband complained about it as he read or watched the news. At the same Mother felt that they hadn’t seen their family in months, they were even invited to Keritang for Eid, and after Mother mentioned it she was asked by her sister to bring fresh rambutan and salak on the way back. Once Mother gave her word over something she hated to not deliver. And so she guilted her husband to spend time with his family, reminding him in particular that they were getting older, that their time on this earth was limited, and no matter how much he complained about his brothers, he would miss seeing them once it became less easy due to disease and disability to go out of the way to meet them.
Of course, given how little Mother traveled outside of her little suburb in Pekanbaru, she wasn’t expecting her trip to start off in a line at the petrol station that was taking over an hour to clear, and to be swarmed by the beggars who called the outskirts of the city their home.
Mother was wanting to roll her window up but the man put a good deal of her shoulder into the car, begging at Mother quite directly, her hand close enough to touch her chin. Mother signalled with her eyes to her husband, please give this man something so he doesn’t bother us. Father saw the 50000 rupiah note sitting by the stick shift and gave it to the man.
‘You shouldn’t leave the window open like that,’ Father said as he left.
‘You are the one who has turned off the car. How can a woman of my age manage in this heat without some air?’
‘Do you want us to waste even more of our petrol when we are waiting to refill our tank?’ Father reported. He pointed his palm out to the row of cars in front of them. There must have been at least seven cars in front of them. The people working at the pumps were efficient, but the line in front of them had seemed to have paused, resulting in the honking and shouting of the people inside of the vehicles.
‘Then what is the solution?’ Mother said, resting her chin on her fist and her elbow against the car frame.
‘Roll up your window. I’ll roll down mine.’
Mother did that, and it was a good idea. From the western side the breeze actually hit them both at a strong angle, refreshing them both. Mother knew Father needed it. He was sweating even more than she was.
Mother asked ‘So what did you get for Andri?’
‘A new bike cover.’
‘A new bike cover? As a belated birthday gift?’
‘Andri loves to ride his bike.’ Father said, and he smiled wildly, a story about a relationship to his older brother that only he knew playing behind his eyes. Or maybe it was a sarcastic smile, as Father’s face suddenly clenched up and his eyes grew serious again. Father didn’t have the easiest relationship with his older brother. If anything Father complained about him always being a drunk and deadbeat. Mother only saw Andri in snippets, and while there was truth in what Father said, Andri was always polite enough for her. Or rather, he was the typical Sumatran man: outwardly religious in how he spoke, considerate in public… but most likely a pain to the people who he knew closely.
Mother wasn’t one of those people for Father’s elder brother, and Father didn’t like to speak much about him, so she rarely felt the need to get to know him better, to confirm what was true about him or not.
‘Why is this line taking so long?’ The question burst out of Father’s mouth suddenly, as he slapped his steering wheel. It was a thought distracting Mother’s mind as well The line of seven cars hadn’t budged in the last ten minutes. What’s more, a guy was going around on the left side car to car. Was he also begging for money?
‘Let us switch sides,’ Mother suggested. ‘I will roll down my window, and you roll up yours.’
‘I need the air.’
‘And you don’t think I need the air?’
‘You get more air from this angle. Look how your sweat has disappeared.’
‘Let us roll the window.’
‘It’s okay. Let him and come and speak. I don’t think he’s a liar. I think he wants to ask something serious.’
‘You say that about everyone. Like the man who wanted to fund the new mosque. Where did that money go?’
‘That was eight years ago.’
‘You are too generous. I know you will give him a lot of money.’
‘I am the one who earns the money in this family. I can do what I want with it.’
And there Father was, talking like a typical Sumatran man. Well, Mother could have retorted, but now the man had come, and Father in a way was right. This was a clean shaven young looking man in his twenties. He looked like someone who worked at a college or for the government, not someone who needed money.
‘Please, can you help me? I am short for the amount of money I need for the petrol. I wasn’t paid at the end of the month like I was told I was going to be. And the amount the petrol is costing is even more than it was last week. I thought I had the money but I need 50,000 rupiah more.’
A man like him, short of pocket change? Well the economy was in dire straits these days, and most people were suffering regardless of their class. Mother looked at the now empty space in the drink holder. This would have been a far better time to give the 50,000 that was given to the beggar.
‘I don’t have any cash on me,’ Father said. It was a lie. Father had far more bills in his wallet. And even if he hadn’t there was plenty of money in his bank account. Though they were retired Father and Mother were well off, and had more than enough money to survive the rest of their days on savings.
The man sensed this, and was desperate. He suggested, ‘Give me your Gopay or LinkAja. I can pay with that.’
‘Just give him the money,’ Mother said. She was getting tired of seeing a well-fed man beg.
‘It was not you telling me I am too generous a few seconds ago, bukan?’
‘I trust this one,’ Mother said. She did feel that Father was right on his instinct earlier. Mother also was good at telling who was a liar and who was honest, and this man’s face, it was very genuine in how it emoted. He was telling the truth, and Mother could feel it immediately. ‘I will also say, he is the one with the car in the front of the petrol line. If someone doesn’t pay him we will be stuck here for longer.’
‘That is true,’ the young man said with a smile, and Father immediately took out his wallet and gave him the required amount. The young man ran back to his car, all the while Mother wondered if Father gave the money to be generous, or because he hated seeing time being wasted for no reason.
As Mother predicted the guy paid and the car sped off, and the next one could take its place in the line. Mother sighed in relief, and gave a knowing smile to Father, who reciprocated it. The cars moved slightly forward and Father drove to match the space where the car in front of him once parked. With that resolved, hopefully they would be cleared of this line in the next ten to fifteen minutes.
Still, Mother took a look back out of habit, and she noticed that the line behind her was far longer than seven vehicles. She could not actually count how many vehicles were behind her, meaning there had to be more than ten. She wondered how much of the street was being blocked up in this line, how many people could not enter their subdivisions or into other roads because of the cars behind her. And then she worried, what if the petrol suddenly ran out, and they would all have to be told to find another gas station?
It sounded like a paranoid fear, but in actuality, some of the petrol stations in other parts of the state and country had run into such situations in the last few weeks.
Mother had to wait in the first place, and so she closed her eyes, spoke to Allah. She prayed for this war between two countries many thousands upon thousands of kilometres to end as soon as possible. She prayed for a day when countries like Indonesia wouldn’t have to suffer due to the choices made by their allies or enemies. She prayed for the wellbeing and health of the people of her nation. And she prayed, with all of her heart, and with the innocence of a little girl, for the health and wellbeing of every single person suffering on this planet.
Then she opened her eyes, and waited for the cars to clear, like how she waited for life to move on, and move forward, each and every day.