Mo Gawdat’s 90-second rule offers a quick, effective way to manage emotions and achieve a more fulfilled life.
Mo Gawdat, a former chief business officer at Google X, turned personal tragedy into a lifelong mission to understand and promote happiness. After the death of his 21-year-old son, Ali, in 2014 due to medical negligence during an appendix surgery, Gawdat delved into the science of happiness, exploring it from logical and philosophical angles with the aid of flow charts and formulas.
Gawdat, who has spent over two decades researching happiness, shared a technique known as the 90-second rule during a conversation on the “High Performance” podcast. The rule suggests that when faced with anger or stress, an individual should allow themselves 90 seconds to feel the emotion before redirecting focus to other thoughts.
This habit is based on insights from Harvard-trained neuroscientist Jill Bolte Taylor, who discovered that stress and anger hormones, such as cortisol and adrenaline, can be fully processed by the body within 90 seconds. After this period, any continued agitation typically results from mentally rehashing the scenario, thereby triggering another hormonal response. Gawdat emphasizes that this moment offers an opportunity to decide how to proceed with a clearer mind.
For instance, being cut off while driving might lead to an initial burst of anger, but stewing over the event doesn’t change its outcome. Instead, Gawdat suggests choosing a positive action, like taking a deep breath or listening to a favorite song, to shift focus away from the negative experience.
Gawdat further employs a series of introspective questions when dealing with life’s challenges: Is it true? Can I do something about it? Can I accept it and move forward despite its presence? These questions help discern whether a troubling thought is based in reality, and whether taking action is possible. Should acceptance be the only viable route, Gawdat advocates for “committed acceptance,” or acknowledging the situation as the new reality.
The process of adopting new habits, especially during emotional times, can be challenging. A 2009 study by psychology researcher Phillippa Lally indicates that it can take anywhere from 18 to 254 days to form a new habit, depending on individual circumstances. However, Gawdat believes awareness of personal responses to difficult situations is a crucial first step toward lasting happiness.
Gawdat shared his insights on Simon Sinek’s “A Bit of Optimism” podcast, remarking that life presents both good and bad circumstances indiscriminately, leaving individuals to choose their reactions. According to Gawdat, setting realistic expectations and making conscious choices about how to respond to life’s challenges can significantly impact one’s level of happiness and fulfillment.