In a rapidly advancing digital world, the concept of “artificial intimacy” has emerged as a topic of significant interest among psychologists and sociologists. Dr. Sherry Turkle, a professor of social studies of science and technology at MIT, explores this phenomenon, emphasizing its impact on human relationships and empathy. As she stated, “When we seek out relationships of no vulnerability, we forget that vulnerability is really where empathy is.” Over the past few years, artificial intelligence (AI) has evolved at an unprecedented pace, mimicking human behaviors more closely than ever before. This evolution has led to increasing emotional connections between people and AI entities, such as chatbots and avatars, raising concerns about the potential risks to our understanding of genuine human interactions.
Dr. Turkle, who has been studying this trend extensively, shared her insights during a TED Radio Hour podcast titled “How Our Relationships Are Changing in the Age of ‘Artificial Intimacy.’” Her research focuses on the growing emotional bonds people are forming with AI technologies. As these technologies become more sophisticated and accessible, she warns that they could significantly affect our perception of human relationships and our ability to empathize.
Artificial intimacy, according to Turkle, involves interactions with technologies that go beyond showcasing intelligence; they claim emotional attachment. These technologies, she explains, say things like, “I care about you. I love you. I’m here for you. Take care of me.” Such interactions include therapy chatbots, AI companions, virtual fitness coaches, and digital avatars of deceased loved ones. While these tools might appear beneficial at first glance, Turkle expresses concern about their long-term effects on human psychology and relationships. She reiterates, “The trouble with this is that when we seek out relationships of no vulnerability, we forget that vulnerability is really where empathy is.”
One intriguing aspect of this discussion is the use of AI for writing personal communications. At the start of the podcast, Turkle discussed with host Manoush Zomorodi the use of ChatGPT for composing love letters. She mentioned studying a person who relies on ChatGPT for this purpose, believing the AI-crafted letters more accurately express her feelings than her own words could. Turkle finds this trend worrying. “Even those of us who couldn’t write very good love letters summoned ourselves in a certain kind of special way when we wrote a love letter,” she observed. “And the love letter was not just about what was on paper. It was about what we had done to ourselves in the process of writing it.”
While AI-generated love letters may produce appealing results, Turkle argues that this practice undermines a critical personal process. Writing a love letter involves self-reflection and emotional engagement—elements lost when the task is outsourced to AI. According to Turkle, the act of crafting a letter, regardless of its eloquence, is an important exercise in introspection and emotional connection.
Another significant issue Turkle identifies is the concept of “pretend empathy.” AI chatbots are designed to provide continuous positive affirmations and validation, which may attract users but differs fundamentally from genuine human empathy. As Turkle puts it, “I call what they have ‘pretend empathy’… because the machine they are talking to does not empathize. It does not care about them. There is nobody home.” This discrepancy is especially problematic when people begin to prefer AI interactions over real human connections. Turkle shared anecdotes of individuals who feel more bonded to their AI companions than to their real-life partners or family members. She worries that this preference for “friction-free” interactions could lead to a skewed understanding of what constitutes a healthy relationship.
The impact of AI on younger generations is another area of concern. Turkle is particularly worried about children and adolescents who are exposed to artificial intimacy early on, as it may hinder the development of essential social skills. She cited an example of a mother pleased that her daughter could vent her emotions to an AI companion rather than a parent. Turkle argues that such interactions could deprive children of valuable learning experiences in managing complex emotions within real relationships.
The creation of digital avatars of deceased individuals is another ethically challenging application of AI intimacy. While the idea of continuing to interact with a loved one after their death might initially seem comforting, Turkle warns of the psychological implications. “The thing about mourning somebody who’s gone is that you leave space to bring that person inside of yourself,” she explains. Relying on an AI avatar could disrupt the natural grieving process, potentially hindering a person’s ability to accept loss and grow from the experience.
Despite her concerns, Turkle does not advocate for an outright ban on these technologies. She acknowledges that, in certain contexts, they may provide comfort or serve as valuable tools. However, she stresses the importance of maintaining a “dual consciousness”—an awareness that these interactions are with a computer program, not a real person. She notes, “The main thing I would offer is that this is kind of an exercise, hopefully in self-reflection. That the only good that can come out of this is you reflect better on your life with the person you loved and lost.” This awareness is becoming increasingly difficult as AI becomes more sophisticated and lifelike.
Turkle also pointed out that AI avatars, trained on extensive internet data, could potentially say things that might be distressing—comments that a real person would likely never make. She also raised concerns about how these technologies are marketed, particularly as a way to avoid the finality of saying goodbye to deceased loved ones.
While AI technologies that facilitate artificial intimacy may seem innovative and useful, they also pose significant risks to our understanding of human relationships and empathy. Turkle encourages users to view these interactions as opportunities for self-reflection rather than as replacements for real relationships. As AI continues to evolve, it is crucial to remain mindful of its limitations and the importance of maintaining genuine human connections.
