Balancing a full-time job is already a challenging task, requiring significant time, effort, and mental energy. Adding a romantic relationship into the mix makes the pursuit of work-life balance even more complex. As a psychologist who studies couples—and as someone with a working spouse—I’ve encountered these struggles firsthand. However, my dual role as a researcher and a husband has given me valuable insights into the importance of intentional time spent with a partner, especially during weekends.
Here are five key ways the happiest and most successful couples use their free time to deepen their relationships and create lasting happiness.
First, they intentionally put their phones away. A couple might spend hours together, but if that time is interrupted by constant texts, social media scrolling, or emails, the quality of their connection suffers. Conversely, a couple who spends less time together but makes that time technology-free tends to experience greater relationship satisfaction. It’s not about how much time is spent, but how present both partners are in the moment. The nature of the activity doesn’t matter—it could be a quiet coffee shared in the morning, a leisurely walk filled with shared silences, or even a more traditional dinner date. What counts is being fully there. “What matters is presence,” the author states, emphasizing the value of undivided attention during quality time.
Second, successful couples engage in what psychologists call “parallel play.” This concept, borrowed from child psychology, refers to two individuals engaging in different personal activities while still occupying the same physical space. After a stressful week at work, it’s natural to want some alone time. But many people struggle with choosing between “me time” and “we time.” Parallel play provides the best of both worlds. One partner might be immersed in a novel on the couch while the other enjoys a video game nearby. They are not interacting directly, yet they are still connected through shared proximity and the comfort of each other’s presence. It’s a way of expressing, “I love you, but I also need to love me for an hour or two. Let’s do it together.”
Third, these couples maintain shared rituals. Rituals help anchor a relationship by providing a sense of predictability and comfort. Knowing that certain activities will happen every weekend creates a shared rhythm that can help couples weather the chaos of life. Research shows that rituals can help couples organize their lives in a way that allows for both change and stability to coexist. These traditions foster a collective identity that feels unique to the couple and greater than the sum of its parts.
Rituals don’t have to be grand or elaborate. In fact, the simpler they are, the better. Think of making pancakes every Sunday morning, dedicating a night to board games complete with a quirky scoreboard on the fridge, or having a weekly wine night to plan out the upcoming week. Even tackling a mundane household chore together while a shared playlist plays in the background can become a cherished ritual. These routines, while seemingly ordinary, provide emotional grounding.
The fourth strategy is scheduling intimacy, including sex. Despite its central role in relationship satisfaction, sex often becomes a low priority amid weekend chores, errands, and obligations. What begins as a time to unwind can quickly turn into a continuation of the weekday hustle. Couples may assume that scheduling sex removes spontaneity, but the opposite is often true. Structured intimacy can be a good thing. It eliminates the added pressure of trying to manufacture the right moment, allowing partners to engage meaningfully and without distractions. By intentionally setting aside time for intimacy, couples create space to emotionally reconnect, which is especially beneficial when their work lives are draining.
Lastly, the happiest couples prioritize laughter. According to research, being playful is one of the most effective tools to build stronger relationships. Playfulness boosts satisfaction, eases conflict, and prevents the relationship from falling into a dull routine. During the workweek, we unconsciously train our minds to focus on stress and responsibility. But weekends should serve as an intentional escape from this mindset. Playfulness… can boost relationship satisfaction, ease conflict and break up the sense of monotony that partners can start to resent.
Making space for fun doesn’t require elaborate planning. Laughter can come from the simplest of activities, such as inventing silly trivia rules, staging a spontaneous dance-off, or reenacting an inside joke. The goal is to find joy and share it deliberately. Most couples already know what makes their partner laugh—they just need to make time to do it.
“The act of being silly — and being met with silliness in return — helps us reconnect with the childlike wonder we carry inside that gets buried beneath our responsibilities,” the author adds. The key is to look for joy on purpose and create those light-hearted moments that keep a relationship lively and connected.
In sum, sustaining a happy and fulfilling relationship amidst busy work schedules requires conscious effort, particularly over the weekend when time together is more available. The happiest couples take advantage of this time by being present with each other, engaging in shared and individual activities side by side, forming meaningful rituals, scheduling intimacy, and seeking laughter together. Each of these practices strengthens the bond and makes the relationship resilient in the face of life’s inevitable challenges.
Though none of these ideas require extravagant effort or money, they do demand a level of intentionality that often gets overlooked. As with most aspects of a successful relationship, it’s not about doing more—it’s about being present, mindful, and loving with the time you already have.