Arjun Nelabhotla reflects on the importance of being observant in relationships, illustrating how small gestures can deepen connections and understanding.
I used to think that helping others was synonymous with doing tasks. Every Sunday, I volunteered at Emile’s house, methodically working through his checklist like a machine. I ordered groceries online in mere minutes and filed paperwork efficiently. Each time I left, I felt productive, convinced I had made a difference in his life. However, one afternoon, Emile, a former jazz singer, told me, “You need to be more observant.” His words puzzled me. Wasn’t I already handling everything he needed?
The following week, I walked into his kitchen and noticed a newspaper spread open on the table, the high school basketball section prominently displayed. As he smoothed the crinkled pages flat, he said, “I saved this for you,” recalling my passion for basketball. He then pulled out an old photo of his high school team and asked, “Guess which one is me?” He began to share stories from his past, and I realized that while I had been rushing through his life like it was a to-do list, he had been paying attention to mine. He had collected small items he thought might bring me joy, such as a jazz record he had covered and an article about Indian food.
These gestures were not mere responses to requests; they were thoughtful gifts from someone who had been thinking about me even when I wasn’t there. In that moment, I understood what Emile meant about being observant. I wanted to show him that he mattered to me, just as he had shown I mattered to him. I began to arrive differently, writing down medical appointment addresses before he even asked for them.
I started to inquire about his week first, rather than jumping straight to his needs. Our Sunday routine transformed from one focused on efficiency to one centered around the joy of cooking together while listening to the Golden State Warriors play. This lesson in observation followed me into other areas of my life. When my animated chemistry lab partner became withdrawn, I recognized the struggle hidden behind her silence.
I took the time to walk through calculations with her, allowing her the space to ask questions until her confidence returned. Emile had taught me that being observant isn’t just about solving problems efficiently; it’s about seeing deeper into the lives of others. Now, I strive to notice not just what people need, but who they truly are.
With a Perspective, I’m Arjun Nelabhotla.
Arjun Nelabhotla is a high school student from San Jose. Outside of his academic pursuits, he enjoys coding and 3D printing. When he’s not working on a project, he can often be found playing basketball or video games with friends. This episode was produced in partnership with India Currents.
Source: Original article