For immigrants caught in abusive relationships or enduring severe marital discord, the conflict extends beyond emotional suffering — it is deeply entangled in legal uncertainty, immigration-related anxieties, and overwhelming cultural shame.
“They told me I’d be deported if I left.”
“He said I’d never see my child again.”
“My parents told me to adjust — ‘What will people say?’”
These painful statements aren’t imagined. They are genuine accounts from individuals wrestling with fear, isolation, and misinformation. They belong to people trapped in complex situations, unsure where to go or who to trust. Their dilemmas reflect a harsh reality where the threat of deportation, loss of custody, or social ostracization becomes a weapon in the hands of an abusive partner.
To delve into this disturbing intersection of domestic violence, legal misconceptions, and cultural expectations, New India Abroad spoke to Stutee Nag, a tri-qualified attorney. With expertise in law across three jurisdictions, Nag sheds light on what immigrant victims need to know, especially those vulnerable due to their immigration status.
According to Nag, many individuals from immigrant communities suffer in silence because of misleading or threatening statements made by their partners. “Often, the abusive spouse tries to exert complete control by spreading lies — like saying the partner will be deported or lose custody if they leave. These are fear tactics, not legal truths,” she said.
Nag emphasized that domestic violence does not discriminate based on gender. “While women are more often the victims, men and people from all gender identities can also be abused. It’s important we don’t generalize. Abuse is abuse, and everyone has the right to be safe,” she noted.
When abuse occurs, victims often hesitate to report it, especially if they’re immigrants dependent on their partner for a green card or visa. Nag pointed out that many do not realize that there are legal provisions specifically designed to protect them.
One such protection comes under the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA), which provides an avenue for abused spouses of U.S. citizens or green card holders to self-petition for lawful status without the help or consent of the abusive partner. “VAWA isn’t just for women,” Nag clarified. “Despite the name, it’s available to all genders and can be a lifeline.”
She also spoke about the U visa, available to victims of certain crimes who are willing to cooperate with law enforcement. This visa, she explained, doesn’t just apply to physical abuse but can also cover mental and emotional harm, depending on the circumstances. “If a person has suffered substantial abuse and assists authorities, the U visa can offer a path to legal status and, eventually, permanent residency,” she said.
A major hurdle for many victims is not knowing that help exists. Fear of legal repercussions, especially deportation, keeps people silent. Cultural expectations add another heavy layer. “In some cultures, divorce or separation is considered taboo,” Nag said. “Victims are told to endure abuse to ‘save the family name’ or for the children. That mindset is dangerous.”
She pointed to how abusers manipulate cultural beliefs to maintain control. Statements like “What will people say?” or “No one will marry you again” are used to shame the victim into staying. “These are not just comments. They’re psychological weapons,” Nag explained. “When combined with threats of legal consequences, they can make victims feel completely powerless.”
Nag encouraged individuals to seek legal advice early, even if they are not ready to take legal action. “Sometimes just knowing your rights is empowering,” she said. “Knowledge can help victims feel in control again.”
She highlighted that speaking with an immigration attorney does not obligate someone to take immediate action. Instead, it opens the door to understanding what options are available. “Even a single conversation can be a turning point,” Nag said.
Another challenge immigrants face is that their abuser may be their only link to the outside world, especially in isolated households where victims are not permitted to work, drive, or access resources. Nag noted that in such cases, victims may feel completely trapped.
“Isolation is a tactic,” she said. “By cutting off access to finances, friends, or even basic communication, the abuser ensures the victim has no way out. That’s why early intervention and community support are crucial.”
Nag also emphasized the role of community organizations, legal aid groups, and shelters that are equipped to help victims in culturally sensitive ways. “There are support systems that understand your background, your fears, and your cultural concerns,” she said. “You are not alone.”
She warned against relying on hearsay or advice from unverified sources. “Too many people trust community gossip or advice from social media, which may not be legally accurate. That misinformation can be incredibly harmful.”
Nag stressed that while it is natural to fear the unknown, the U.S. legal system has checks and balances designed to protect the vulnerable. “No one should stay in an abusive situation because they’re scared of being deported. Legal tools exist, and there are lawyers and advocates who will stand by you,” she said.
According to Nag, leaving an abusive relationship does not mean instant legal chaos. Each case is different, and a qualified attorney can help map out a personalized strategy. Whether it involves VAWA, a U visa, or another pathway, the law provides protection.
She also addressed concerns about children. “Many people are told they will lose custody if they leave. That’s not automatically true. Courts prioritize the best interests of the child — and safety is a major factor,” she explained. “Judges take abuse seriously when making custody decisions.”
Nag urged victims not to let fear paralyze them. “The system is not perfect, but it offers tools and protections. And people are not as alone as they think,” she said.
Ultimately, her message was clear: “No one deserves to suffer in silence. Everyone deserves to be safe — regardless of their gender, background, or immigration status.”
She concluded by saying, “Freedom begins with knowing your rights. Once you do, the fear starts to fade, and you begin to realize — you can leave, you can survive, and you can rebuild.”
Through her legal expertise and empathetic approach, Stutee Nag offers a lifeline to immigrant victims of abuse, reminding them that while the journey out of a toxic relationship can be daunting, it is not impossible — and they do not have to face it alone.