Dating looks different now than it did in the age before Tinder and flirting via Instagram, Facebook and Twitter DMs. But the signs of a healthy relationship are still the same. It’s still about respect, admiration, communication… and learning when to put down your mobile phone. With this in mind, here are a few of the most important ways you can tell that you’re in a healthy relationship.
You and your partner are comfortable in silence
One of the surest signs that you’re in a healthy place with your partner? Comfortable silence. Being able to read a book (or, yes, scroll through Instagram) while your partner plays video games — and not feel pressured to make conversation — is invaluable.
According to Glamour, “Three things happy couples don’t do: They don’t carry on flirtatious Facebook conversations, they think twice before adding a friend who could cause friction in their relationship (such as an ex), and they don’t ‘like’ photos of attractive strangers or that friend who uses Instagram as her personal bikini portfolio.”
Social media is just a fact of life these days, and odds are, your partner will have an ex or two in their Facebook friend list. They may even like their photos from time to time. But the way they interact with people online shouldn’t make you insecure about your relationship. If it does, it could be a sign of a deeper problem.
You take each other’s careers seriously
Balancing job ambitions as a couple can be difficult. Both partners in a relationship should be supportive of each other’s career goals, even if it is occasionally inconvenient. It’s a red flag if your loved one is unsupportive whenever you work late or go on a work trip or outing.
You know each other’s mobile phone passwords — but don’t feel the need to snoop
Cell phones and computers create the unique opportunity to find out a ton of information about your partner — their search habits, who they chat with all day, whether they still text their clingy ex who can’t seem to get the picture — simply by logging on. If you could access your partner’s devices when they’re not around but don’t, it shows that you trust them.
You respect each other’s family and friends
That isn’t to say that if your partner doesn’t fit into your existing friend group seamlessly that you need to ditch them. But they should treat the other people in your life kindly and respect your desire to spend time with your family and friends (sometimes without them tagging along).
You don’t worry about what they’re up to when you’re not around
This goes along with the whole ‘trust’ thing we mentioned earlier. If you trust your partner, you probably feel confident that they aren’t upto something fishy, without your knowledge, when you’re out of town, or doing something else considered inappropriate within the confines of your relationship.
Even your fights aren’t so bad
Believe it or not, there is a right way to argue. As a relationship expert told Huffington Post, “A good relationship is one where the two of you fight fair. In other words, you don’t curse, scream, talk down to each other or dismiss each other.” We’re a big fan of the ‘never go to bed angry’ (if you can help it) relationship philosophy.
You respect each other
Most of the items on this list boil down to one thing — respect. If you and your partner respect one another, your fights will be fair, you won’t worry that they sending sleazy DMs to others on Instagram, you will make every decision — from what to eat for dinner to whether or not to relocate — as a team. We know it might be a little too much. But it’s the truth.